The Undeveloped Story
by sandy2x400
Summary: You are new to a place filled with fakes and posers. Only one man sticks out and he is a faded pop-star. Too bad he is slightly dangerous and does not seem to care about you. Smitchie.
1. Chapter 1

"**My mother says I should come back home but can't find the way cause the way is gone" Lost - Katy Perry**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter One

"Hi, my name is Mitchie Torres, and I'm…" you trail off, lowering your outstretched hand as the brunette, sporty girl swiftly turns around, walking away from you. She points to an ajar door to the left before disappearing into another room. "Your new roommate." You finish lamely to yourself before picking up your suitcase again. You look all around you - noticing the crappy, ripped couch and the dusty television in the tiny living room - before going to the door she pointed to. Inside the room, your eyes sweep over every surface, noticing your roommate has already set up her side of the room. Your side is completely bare. There's a simple bed and a desk, but that's it.

That's it.

There's nothing that screams home or looks comforting. The walls are a different color from your old dorm. The layout is different. Hell, even the windows are shaped differently. You drop your bag loudly on the floor, feeling exhausted after the eight hour flight, and go to the bed, sitting on it. The material scratches at your uncovered thighs and you feel the urge to cry. Two years ago when you were a sophomore at your super small college in the middle of New Jersey, you thought you needed to get out of there. So, you promised yourself you would get out for graduate school for a better experience.

So here you are in California. And nothing.

Granted you just got here, but you already miss your mother and father. You already want to go to Sierra's house to watch Hot Tunes or True Blood, sneaking a glass of Merlot even though you turn of age in less than five months. You already want to curl up at either your bed at home or your old bed at your dorm with a book and write a few songs afterwards. You already want to leave; except you know you cannot.

You are here for another four years of school whether you like it or not. "Hi, sorry. My boyfriend was on the line." You jump at the sound, and you look at the girl more closely. She is wearing an Army shirt with basketball shorts, her hair tucked under a military styled brown hat. Your first thought is she's a lesbian but then you remember what she just said. "…can't talk a lot on the phone, so whenever he's on, it's like no one else exists. But whatever. I'm Sam." You try to keep up with what she is saying until standing up and accepting her hand in a firm handshake.

She gives you a small smile that is not at all warm before nodding. "Any more bags?" she asks, looking at your one suitcase. You shake your head, ready to explain that you are buying stuff today. You immediately figure you can ask her what store to go to, and she will drive you there before stopping a quaint coffee shop where the two of you will share college stories. Instead she didn't enquire any further and went to leave the room.

"Wait! That's your stuff right?" you ask, nodding over to the other side of the room. She shakes her head, fixing her hat slightly.

"Nope. I live in the next room over. Your roommate will come later, I think. She stepped out with some guy." Sam calls out as she walks back to her room. By the time, you let out a _thank you_, she already slammed her door shut. Sighing, you again wonder why you didn't just dorm in one of the university's houses instead of looking for an apartment. That way at least everyone would be on the same awkward boat - and you would not be the only new girl. Sitting back on your scratchy bed, you pull out your phone and throw yourself backwards.

You play with your phone before dialing a familiar number. "Hey, Caity." You breathe out shakily.

"Oh! Hey, Mitchie! How's California? Did you look at the ocean yet? Is it blue?" Caitlyn says with faux excitement. You roll your eyes but crack a smile. She is a good friend you made about four years ago at a music camp you used to go to during the summer, and has since become one of your primary friends.

"I get it. I get it. You want me back to New Jersey. Message received." You say with bitterness, sighing loudly. "Trust me, I think even I want me back in Essex County, New Jersey." You say, looking up the ceiling. The tiles look like they might break off at any moment and you let out an involuntary snort.

Caitlyn gasps dramatically. "What? Mitchie Torres doesn't like California? Call the press. Alert the media." She says sarcastically and you groan. She chuckles before clearing her throat. "I mean, why aren't you feeling California yet?" she asks, but when you go to answer she cuts you off. "Besides the fact you're the only twenty year old virgin left in that state and that you're new and blah blah blah. I want a specific reason why you're not liking that place you promise me was the Promise Land once upon a time - not just the sun too bright or some crap." She tells you pointedly.

You frown. "I am new." You point out, huffing slightly. "Like, not just to a new school, but to a whole state. I don't know anyone and my suitemate is a jerk - or at the very least very antisocial and possibly bisexual. I don't have any furniture and I need sheets and I miss you." You finish with a high pitched voice. Caitlyn sighs sadly.

"I'm sorry, baby. I know you're scared, but I want you to realize that this is your life. You tell me all the time that you wish you would have been more open in school. Well, here's your chance. Do that thing old Mitchie would never have done! Be free, Mitchie. Be someone, okay baby? For me. So that I know you moving was not for nothing." She whines at the end, but her words are firm. You know you have to branch out, but it's so hard for you.

You blow out your breath harshly, sending your bangs flying for a couple seconds. "I'll try Caity." You say honestly, and she smiled. The two of you prattle about other unimportant things before she hangs up, excusing herself for an early night - _ It's almost nine here, Mitchie. I have seven am class._, she argues with you when you ask for a couple more minutes. Sighing, you plop yourself further up the bed. You stay there in that position for a while, before reaching up and going through your large purse and trying to pull out your laptop. You almost drop it when someone comes inside your room loudly, jumping at the scream that pierces the air.

"Oh, my God! Are you my new roomie?" Looking up at the person, you can feel your heart stop. Her hair is every different color, layered like a rainbow with heavy makeup and very scene clothing, but what hits you the most is the alcohol you can smell on her. "Oh jeeze, I have been waiting for hours. Did you meet the supposedly Not-A-Dyke yet?" she asks loudly, even though the door is open.

You lower your eyebrows, halfway insulted. Your best friend from back home is gay - you don't take homophobic insults very well. "You mean Sam? Yes, I did." You say sharper than you meant, but the girl doesn't even notice. She stumbles over to her side of the bed, taking off her long shirt without even caring if you are looking.

"Well, my name is Amy Martin and I just had like three shots." She confesses, laughing profusely. You nod awkwardly, looking at the screen on your phone that proclaims it's a quarter to six. She takes out a man's shirt and puts it on over her black leggings. "Okay, we're going out. Here let me find you some stuff. What's your name by the way?" she says quickly as she starts throwing clothes from her closet on her bed. "And what size are you?" she asks, finally looking at you.

"Stuff? Mitchie and… a five?" you finish, almost questioning yourself. You look at her strangely as she throws a small black dress your way before going back to her closet. You finger the soft material before scrunching your nose in confusion. "What's going on?" you say with narrow eyes.

"We're going to see this singer. She's like unknown and she's kinda crazy, but she's kickass. It's at the Black Mamba, a little café slash music place thing. Tonight's Talent Night and she's quote unquote headlining." Amy explains as she puts on some heels and kicks over some pumps over at you. "Come it will be fun. You're like from Jersey or Boston or something. Do you know anyone here?" she asks pointedly and you shake your head. "Well, then it's settled you're coming with us tonight. I have a couple guy friends, but I'm the only chick so you even us out." She confesses as she reaches over to start doing her makeup. "Go dress. Just let me borrow something later." She waves you off.

You know you want to stay. You know you have to buy sheets and food and other necessities, but you also know you have to go out to be noticed. Caitlyn's words echo in your mind, until you breathe out and stand up, going towards what you see is the bathroom. When you get there, you quickly dress in the clothes she gave you, before throwing on some random lipgloss and mascara. When you go back out, Amy immediately pulls your hand, leading you to the door. "Who's driving? They haven't been drinking, have they?" you ask uncertainly as you go out the door and start going down the

"Silly girl." She says with a roll of her eyes. "We're walking. It's right there." She tells you with a run through her hand. You watch as the bright purple of her hair comes forward. "I only drank because I saw my ex with my mother yesterday." She states, almost nonchalantly. Your eyes widen in horror and she waves you off. "Yeah, whatever. I'm vodka numb. So, it's cool." She says with a spring in her step. When you get downstairs, you see two boys - boys because they could not have been older than nineteen - waiting for her. "This is Jacob and Chris, my little brother and his best friend." She says with a warm smile. "Guys, this is Mitchie, my off limits roommate." She gestures to you.

You give a roll of your eyes but still manage to smile at the two guys. They smirk and wave at you, before the four of you start walking. "Whoo! I'm so over Brenden and Mom. They want to be together - may they be happy together." Amy suddenly screams out, failing her arms up. Jacob, who you assume is her brother, sighs and tries to help her stay steady.

You can tell this is going to be a messy night.

When you get to the café, the lights are dimmed and people are spread out in different tables. The mood seems almost too peaceful for the drunk mess that is Amy, but she moves around like she owns the place. Chris and Jacob pick plushy comfortable seats near the back but close to the stage for you guys to sit on. You look around and notice the room is filled with teens and young adults, some with beers in their hands instead of coffee. You shiver at the coldness in the room, and move closer to Chris, who promptly blushes. You smile sweetly at him and try to make small talk, but the action begins when a girl gets on stage.

She is young but obviously experienced. Her hair is blonde with dark highlights and she has heavy makeup on, but when she talks, her voice is angelic. "Hi guys. My name is Jade and I'm here to rock this place." Her voices gets louder with every word until the room is cheering her on. You laugh at the eagerness of some of the people, noticing Amy on the other hand is falling to sleep. It seems like everyone sings along to Jade's songs and you wonder how people know her. You obviously never heard of her, but you wouldn't be surprised if some of the people here worshipped her. The way people yell and dance makes you halfway laugh.

And then you see him.

He is sitting in the back, like you, but just not as close to the stage. His hair is a soft, curly black and it covers some of his eyes, but you can still see the intense stare they are giving Jade. He is in a simple white shirt that outlines his tight, strong muscles with painted-on black jeans that highlight his muscular thighs. On top of the white shirt, he has a crisp leather jacket that makes him seem _bad_. It doesn't help that he has a stubble that makes him seem older and almost dangerous. His lips are quietly moving along with the music, but nowhere as rambunctious as the crowd.

You find yourself getting out of your seat. Chris or Jacob calls for you to come back but you ignore them. Right now, you can only see him. You cannot hear Jade or the crowd or the yells. You can only see him and no one else. You move through the crowd like it's liquid - flowing through everyone until he is in your reach. Now that you are closer, you see his hand is buried in his hair, with his iPhone laying right next to him on a table. You walk over to the guy, taking a seat that is next to the table but not in front of him. He stares at Jade for a little bit more before turning his eyes over to you.

They are a deep brown but have a tint of light green. They are piercing and intense, and they subsequently narrow as he gives you the once over. "Mitchie Torres." He lets your name out like it's honey. It's loud as hell in that small café, but you can hear his voice perfectly. He sounds like sugar - like amazing addictive sugar. His voice is smooth - smoother than you remember - and you thank God the place is dark or else he would see your bright cheeks. "Guess you aren't sixteen, anymore?" he muses randomly before looking back at Jade.

You clear your throat. "Nope." You lips popping at the 'p'. "I'm here for my Bachelor's." you add because you feel you have to. He looks at you again, his smoldering eyes meeting yours. "I-um…" you stutter, suddenly forgetting everything. You blink and look away. "I'm here with my roommate, Amy." You say, heat going up your body.

He nods, and you play with your hands. You gasp when you feel his fingers under your chin. You swear you saw lightning bolts behind your eyes when he touched you. He looks in you in the eyes. "You've changed since I last saw you." He mentions, letting go of your chin abruptly. You shuffle in your seat, clearing your throat.

"The last time you saw me, I was in a canoe wearing my mother's clothes because I thought they were cooler than mine, Shane." You remind him pointedly, and he chuckles wordlessly. You watch him again, noticing the olive tone to his skin as his Adam's apple bobs slowly up and down. He ignores you for the rest of the time as you try not to stare blatantly at him. Suddenly loud applause is heard and you realize Jade just sang her last song. As soon as she jumps off the stage, Shane stands up and you do as well. Again, he looks you up and down. "It was nice seeing you Shane." You say awkwardly as his eyes snap back to yours.

He bites his lip, sending shivers up and down your spine for some reason and gives a swift nod. He goes to say something but a loud yell interrupts him. You jump when you feel a whole body being thrown your way. "Hi, roomie! Did you like Jade? Wasn't she awesome?" Amy slurs, prompting you to believe she has taken in more alcohol. "Where'd you go? I missed you so." She starts singing, just as Jacob and Chris come. They both help you get her off you and calm her down, but it is too late. By the time you look back to where Shane was just standing, you notice no one's there. You quickly look around you, but you do not see his curly dark hair anywhere.

He's gone. And you're left wondering where he went.

--

"Okay, I got her." You sigh while trying to put Amy carefully on the bed and not hurt yourself. Chris or Jacob - after you saw _him_, you swear you forgot everyone's name - nod at you before leaving. Closing your eyes, you cannot help a small smile come to your face. It's been almost three years since you last saw Shane Grey. He was different back then - famous, pretty and irresistible, but now he is a Nobody, childhood star that has fizzled out months ago.

At least, he's still irresistible.

Sighing, you shake away the thoughts of the older popstar and focus on getting to sleep. You have a big day ahead of you - what with the new school that you have to learn the directions to _and_ learn how to get around_ and _make friends _and _ start over. It's going to a hard process but hopefully you will succeed better than you have with your own roommates. Suddenly, just as you snuggle in more in your bed, music starts blasting from the room next door from you.

"_I'm bringing sexy back. Them other boys don't know how to act. I think you're special, what's behind your back? So turn around and I'll pick up the slack."_

You sit up on your bed, looking at the not-stirring Amy before looking at the door. You stay impossibly quiet as the song continues, your mouth opening in a slight gasp. Suddenly, you hear bodies hitting the walls. You eyes widen with every _thump_ before you realize what is going on. "Oh my God." You say, almost hyperventilating. "No, this is not happening!" you almost scream, but no one listens to you. Amy is too drunk to care and _they_ - whoever they are - are too engrossed in themselves to notice. "I hate this!" you scream into the pillow.

"He was mine first, Mom." Amy moans before flipping over. You gasp and look up, eyes wide again but she doesn't stir again. After the thumping gets louder, you jump out of bed. You walk out of the door, only to stare helplessly at the hallway as the noise triples. Groaning loud and almost feeling tears coming to your eyes, you angrily leave the new apartment. You race down the stairs as quickly as you can, as the heaviness in your eyes increase. Suddenly, as soon as you leave the building and come in contact with the stale California air, you start running.

You have no idea where you are going or what you will achieve, but you run until you cannot breathe. Then, you start crying. You are so far away from home - from who you are, from what you do, from what you know. You are in a new place, in an undeveloped story that is slowly unraveling. Everything around you is new.

You do not know how long you cry for but you know it is late when you finally wipe your eyes. Looking around, you shiver in fear when you do not recognize where you are. All the buildings around you are closed and dark. The street has no cars whatsoever. No one is on the streets. You ball your fists and start to walk from where you think ran from. Breathing out harshly, you realize you are lost, but with a sigh, you continue walking. Suddenly, you begin to recognize the street you are one. Your eyes widen as a _Ben's Liquors_ blinks at you and you automatically turn your head to see a small café staring back at you.

Black Mamba.

Sighing in relief, the tension leaves your body for a second as you walk towards the café - hoping that is twenty four hours and you can grab a cup of something to calm your nerves. However, when you get closer to the door, something - or rather someone - stops you. The figure, obviously a man, is leaning against the glass of the window display casually. He is smoking in the harsh wind as his hair flies all over the place. The leather jacket he has on is tight around his form and he looks absolutely _amazing_. You suck in your breath involuntarily, catching his attention.

A deep blush goes on your cheeks when he raises an eyebrow. "Mitchie Torres." He says in the same matter he did earlier. His voice is like the most beautiful thing in the world to your ears. So smooth. So deep. So suave. Instead of responding, you give him a tightlipped smile, hoping your face isn't very tearstained. Shane takes a deep drag from the cigarette, before taking the stick out of his mouth and letting the smoke leave his mouth almost sexily. He looks at you with dark eyes, before tilting his head to look at you. You squirm slightly, feeling as if he was judging you - almost as if you were naked and he was appraising you. "So, what are you doing in California?" he asks, clicking his tongue softly.

His hair flutters in front of his eyes and you heart skips a beat. You blink at him, remembering not to brush it back before it was too late. "Um, I-I…um… don't know, really. I thought I could make someone of myself, but… nothing's going right." You shake your head. His shoulders tense briefly before he brings the cigarette back to his mouth.

"Really?" he says, almost detachedly.

"Yeah." You whisper under your breath. Twice your mouth falls open to say something, until finally you just smile the smile he used to know. Forgetting the fact it has been years since you smiled like that, you move closer to him. His sensual eyes immediately snap onto you. "It's nice to see you Shane. It's been years. I… I always wondered about you. I always remembered you." You admit, almost to yourself, before shaking your head. "Well, I have to go hom-" you start, backing away but he stops you with a hand on your wrist.

His skin is so hot against yours; you feel like your insides are set on fire. Butterflies start clawing at your stomach as he steps towards you. "Why are you in California, Mitchie? To become famous? To become a singer? Is that why you found me tonight? To get you ahead in the business?" his tone is sharp but still slightly detached. Your eyes narrow hurtfully as your cheeks turn a light red. "You're that girl, aren't you, Mitchie? Still to this day. The user. The liar." He comes closer to you, his eyes glaring into yours. "Don't think I've forgotten." He breathes out, his breath hitting your lips.

You are momentarily frozen by the smell of smoke and something else as they invade your senses. "I'm not…" you whisper, shaking your head slightly. You are trying to defend yourself. You want to defend yourself. But he has taken over everything. His smell, his closeness, his attractiveness - they have all taken control of your brain.

"You're not?" he questions, a slight smirk on his lips as he shakes his head. "You're not the girl you were back then? It's funny how into you I was. A stupid little girl." He scoffs, before raising his hand to your cheek. Your mouth falls open as the insult makes your eyes widen. Suddenly, he comes even closer until his lips are millimeters apart from yours. You can feel his lips ever so slightly but they're so far away from you. Shane lightly brushes your lips together, not even kissing you. The burst of sexual tension that runs through you almost electrifies you. "I'm not yours to take this time, Mitchie Torres." He whispers against your lips before abruptly pulling away from you.

Suddenly, he is leaning against the window again as your cheeks redden as much as possible. You can barely breathe and you definitely do not know what to say. His eyes are darker than usual when they meet yours before he gives you a smirk. "Baby, you ready?" he calls out, his eyes never leaving yours. Shivers run up and down your body as you notice that his jacket lifts slightly when he takes a drag from his cigarette, revealing nice tan skin. His hip bone juts out slightly, begging for someone to touch it. "I want to leave." He continues, licking his lips slightly, still staring you in the eyes.

You lower your eyebrows in confusion, still breathing heavily, until you hear a voice reply back. "Hold your horses, Shane. I'm coming. We're going to your apartme…oh, hi?" the voice suddenly becoming a body. The heavy made up girl from before that you saw on stage is now fresh faced. She gives you a small smile before looking at Shane questioningly.

Shane laughs throatily, his eyes still on you. "She's an old fan of Connect Three. Cute, huh?" he says, almost condescendingly. The girl sucks in her breath before giving a knowing smile. She turns back to you before sticking out her hand.

"Well any fan of Shane's is a fan of mine. I'm Jade - his girlfriend." She says, as you look at her hand. You see her smile drop slowly as Shane raises his eyebrow. You swallow, looking away, before giving her a big fake smile. You take her hand in yours and shake it.

"Jade - I saw your perform. You were completely amazing. I'm Mitchie - the girl Shane just almost kissed. I'm going to leave now." You say in an obviously false chipper voice. Jade's eyes immediately flicker with hurt and you can practically see her heart fall to her stomach. Shane's eyes widen slightly and his mouth parts at you, but you hardly even notice with the way you flee the scene.

He deserved it anyways.

You are not that girl anymore.

At all.

**XXX**

**This is my new story. I promise to God that I will stick to it. I hope you liked it =]**

**Sandy**


	2. Chapter 2

"**My ship went down in a sea of sound. When I woke up alone I had everything - a handful of moments I wished I could change and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade." Therapy - All Time Low **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Two

It is hard sitting through your first class Monday morning, especially considering you hardly had a full night sleep. Not that you will admit this to anyone, but you spent half the night crying. Stress has gotten to you so badly, you feel like you have no one. You feel lost in between all these confident people. Sighing, you try to focus once again on your psychology teacher as she rambles about something or another. Honestly, you just want to go home. Not to your apartment home - although that would be better than this - but to your true home. Your_ home_ home. Your real home.

New Jersey home.

Right now, over there, you would be happily taking out all your fall slash early winter clothes to mix and match. Your sweaters and fleeces would be all neatly arranged based on warmth, while your Uggs would be set beside your dresser according to shades of brown. Caitlyn always makes fun of you because of that. Anal compulsive, she calls you. Usually, you just mention the fact that she collects old faded Connect Three lunchboxes that have a seventeen year old Nate Grey gracing the front of them. She usually shuts up after that. Or ignores you. "So, how are you liking California?" someone asks. You groan inwardly, not really wanting to talk during the lesson but you open your mouth anyways.

Only to hear someone else respond. "I love it! Rocking ass parties and the people here are amazing." A girl says, smiling at the girl who asked. It takes you a second to realize they were not asking you, and about another second for you to turn bright red. Looking down at your notebook, you shakily pick up your pen and start drawing just to pretend you have something to do. Graduate school should not be like high school, but with every turn, you feel sixteen more and more. You feel so alone, and it has been years since you have felt this way. You remember after Camp Rock, you branched out, but only because of…

And next thought.

You clear your throat and focus on the lesson again, only to realize the class is ending. You pack up your things as the teacher scolds the class for making so much noise and trying to leave even though she is not done. You ignore her however and along with half the class leave before she is even done talking. That's how it's done is in graduate school; when the schedule says class ends at three-forty, the professor better believe you will be out at three-forty. As soon as you come in contact with the fresh air, you sigh in relief. The bright sun is beating down on your pale and almost pasty skin as you walk slowly out of campus.

You push past the hundreds of people around you, feeling almost suffocated. "Hey! You dropped your papers." You turn around and see some guy already picking them up. You groan and bend down to help, fully intending to thank the man with a smile. That is, until he looked up. You felt a shiver run up your body as his cold, almost angry eyes look up at yours. They looked so empty and…

"Thanks." You mumble, a slight blush going on your face. You reach for the papers, but he does not let go off them. You watch him lick his lips, his piercing blue eyes staring straight into yours. Of course, he was attractive, but there was something off about him. The shivers running up your body weren't from attraction. They were something else. They were alarms. "Um…" you clear your throat, tugging on the papers again. This time, he lets them go. You give him an uncomfortable smile because you feel you have to before trying to pull away. You gasp when his fingers curl around your upper arm, his nails digging into your skin to keep you in place.

"What's your name?" his voice is gruff, almost hoarse. His sandy blonde hair is long and messy, and his face has the beginnings of a beard.

"M-Mitchie." You stutter, immediately chiding yourself. His eyes widen, almost like a predator that is seconds away from catching his prey. "I need to go." You clear your throat, awkwardly pointing with your thumb to some direction or another. His fingers however tighten around your arm, his mouth twisting in a creepy grin. Suddenly, he lets go of you, shaking his head before turning around and leaving.

Your heart is beating wildly by the time you can no longer see him anymore. You turn around abruptly, almost bumping into someone, before practically running out of campus. You can feel the sweat on your face as you shake and push your papers closer to your body. You thought that more people around you meant you would be more secure, but all it means is more pushing and shoving. No one cares about anyone. Everyone ignored your little run in with that guy. People at this school just don't give a flying fuck.

It's like Kitty Genovese; you could get raped and killed and no one would bat an eye. It's called the bystander effect, and ironically, that was what today psychology lesson was about.

Maybe you should try to pay more attention in class.

--

When you get to your apartment, Amy is awake and blasting music loudly in your shared bedroom. "Hey, lover." She sings as she takes off her shirt. You avert your eyes, not used to people just undressing in front of you. Climbing on your bed, you grab your laptop and start working on some stupid paper you have to complete. "Are you going grocery shopping today?" she asks, as she puts on a short, short dress. You press your lips together disapprovingly but nod at her question. Amy smiles and picks up a small piece of paper before turning it to you. "Pick these things up for me?" she says, before turning around and putting on shoes. "I'm going to a kegger tonight. I'll ask if you want to come, but I know you are a recluse. Bye." she sings the last word before disappearing out the door.

You scoff.

You just scoff. You pick up the paper, intending to rip it to shreds but you know you wouldn't. "I'm not a recluse." You whisper to yourself. True, in the past week since you got here, you have not gone out since that one day - even though she has invited you everywhere. You just are not the partying type. You are Mitchie Torres - shy girl from the most hated state in the country. Sighing before standing up, you grab a sweater before remembering it's _fucking_ hot and dropping it to the floor. "Fuck California." You mutter under your breath as you leave the apartment. When you go out, you realize it is already getting dark. "Of course it is." You groan, jumping when someone chuckles behind you.

For a second, you swear it was the creep who stopped you earlier, but it turned out to be Sam. "Talking to yourself?" she asks, tsk-ing slightly before disappearing into the building. You let out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding before turning back to the street. You walk aimlessly for a while, trying to go down the streets you remember. Suddenly, one street - Magnolia Ave - seems much more familiar than usual. Freezing, you realize you are practically in front of Black Mamba Café. You laugh humorlessly before abruptly turning around and going back the other way.

"Hey!" you hear someone call from behind you. You halfway want to keep walking, _mistakenly_ not hear whoever was calling you. "Hey! I need to talk to you!" you are about to admit defeat and just stop when someone pulls your arm. You gasp when pain shoots up, nails digging into your skin roughly. You turn around and look into the dark green eyes of Jade. "Michelle Torres, right?" she asks, her voice angry and bitter.

You raise an eyebrow. "Um, is this about last week? Sorry, your boyfriend is a dick, but um… I didn't do anything." You say while trying to get her to let go off you. Instead, she squeezes your arm tighter, her eyes narrowing into slits. You look up surprised, wondering if you should just kick her or something. "Look, he didn't even _kiss me_ kiss me. I was just pissed at him. I don't like… want him or anything." You sort of lie, trying to wiggle out of her touch.

She scoffs. "Shane told me who you are. How you used him. How you manipulated him into thinking you loved him. He told me all about your evil conniving ways." She hisses through her teeth. You open in your mouth in a gasp, completely shocked. You are almost amused but still slightly in pain from Jade's nails. "He told me you used him to get a story in People. He told me that you cheated on him and you used his brother." She scoffs again as the shocked amusement wipes off your face. Your eyes glaze over slightly as she continues to talk.

"Wait." You cut her off, your voice soft. "He thinks I cheated on him with Nate? No, not at all. And that People article was just coincidence. I didn't want any of that publicity." You are looking at her with sad confusion. After so many years, you finally realize why Shane Grey stopped calling you - and it was for reason that didn't exist.

Jade scoffs. "Yeah, Shane also told me you like to lie to hurt others. Like that stunt you pulled last week. He told me he never kissed you. You think Shane would ever give a shit about you ever again? Maybe when he was eighteen and vulnerable, but he's no longer a child. He's a man and he needs a woman - not a little girl." She says, clicking her tongue as she looks you up and down. She scoffs again. "Have you ever even fucked a man before? You look like a stupid, ignorant little virgin out to scam everyone with your innocence. Please." She finally lets go off your arm, halfway pushing you away from her. You gasp, obviously hurt. Your eyebrows knit together.

"I didn't cheat on him." You whisper softly as you cross your arms around your chest. Jade rolls her eyes. "He's lying or he doesn't know what actually happened. Nate and me… we were just hanging out." Jade shakes her head, rolling her eyes. "And he did kiss me." You say a little louder, getting Jade's attention again. She shoots you a glare from her piercing green eyes.

"Stay the hell away from my boyfriend. We're moving in together next month. We mean something to one another. He told me he loved me." She is bragging; you know that. And really, you shouldn't even care, but something inside you feels the sting. You shake your head, turning around from her abruptly.

And that's when you see him.

He is leaning against the wall, hidden in a small alley. From your place, you can see him perfectly while Jade cannot. His brown eyes are hard and smoldering as they glare at you. Your heart starts beating wildly as Jade behinds you scoffs loudly. "So, you turned your back to me. Oh how fucking mature, you little white piece of trash. Go back to wherever the fuck you're from. Leave us important people alone." She says. You freeze, turning to look at her. She glares at you before dramatically leaving.

When you turn back to look at Shane, he is gone.

Surprise, surprise.

--

You are shaking as you walk away - literally shaking. You cannot remember the last time you shook this hard, and you wrap your arms around your waist. You do not know where to go; you are honestly scared of running into any other person. The creep, Amy, Sam, Jade and _him_. Can't you run into a nice person who wants to actually be friends with you? Is it that hard?

It takes you a while to realize why you are looking both ways as you walk down the street. You are looking for him. You know it in your heart - even though, everything is screaming for you to go home or at least as far away as possible. But, he couldn't have gotten far, unless he pulled a trick form one of those tacky vampire shows. You wrap your arms tighter around yourself as a light breeze goes through the empty street.

And then, you see him again.

He is leaning - again! - against the side of a slide at a playground. Your hearts stops for a second as you appreciate his beauty and his… danger? He is wearing the tight leather jacket again, his hair messy and short. The ever present cigarette is casually in his fingers as he smiles to something you cannot see. You watch as he smirks, tilting his head so his hair falls perfectly in front of his eyes. He opens his mouth and says something you cannot hear - and then, suddenly -

You see her.

She is a pretty, young girl with soft flowing blonde hair. Even from here, you can tell she has light eyes, bright from his charm. A light pink blush is on her cheeks as she bites her lip and goes to move in closer. Shaking your head, you scoff disgustedly before wrapping your arms tighter around your body. Maybe you can just go very quickly and he won't notice you. Your heart is beating fast as you try to go unnoticed - but of course, he is looking for you - you bet, he was even waiting for you, for this moment. When he meets your eyes, you feel yourself freeze. The light, playfulness they had seconds ago change immediately to a harden glare.

Suddenly, still keeping eye contact with you, he reaches forward and roughly grabs the girl's face before plastering it with his own. She is taken by surprise - but it's still Shane Grey. She kisses back with the same intensity. Again, the same sting of pain goes through you, but you cannot tear your eyes away.

He is staring straight at you.

When he moans slightly, you blush. You watch as he smirks and almost laughs, breaking the kiss by mistake. Blonde girl takes no mind and just starts attacking his neck. He gives you a smile, tilting his head back to give her more room. His eyes are sensual and heavy as he bites his lip, almost in ecstasy. His mouth parts slightly before blowing you a kiss. That's when you decide enough is enough, and with all the strength in the world, you break his staring contest. As soon as you, he pushes the girl away, calling your name out. You pause, surprised, looking behind you. The blonde girl is confused - her brow furrowed rather cutely.

He smirks again, but his eyes are still icy. "Where are you going? The party just started." He says with a fake smile. You shake your head, feeling tears prick your eyes because everything just clicked. He thinks you slept with his brother. No wonder Connect Three broke up. You just thought Nate wanted to go solo and Shane just couldn't follow along. But no - they broke up because of you.

"Oh, my God." You mutter, your heart breaking. You never wanted that. They were so talented. Shane was so talented. They shouldn't have ever broken up - especially over you. "Shane." You whisper as he shakes his head. His glaze slips from you and goes back to the girl. He says something quietly to her but you cannot hear it. All you know is she scoffs lightly before leaving, but not before throwing you a glare. You take a step back as she goes the other way, before snapping your eyes back to Shane. His hair flies slowly in the air as he approaches you. His eyes are so empty and angry as they meet yours.

"Like the show?" he asks, almost arrogantly. You shake your head, taking in the cigarette still in his hands, the scruff on his cheeks, the leather jacket, the emptiness.

"What happened to you?" you say absentmindedly. His eyebrows shoot up, momentarily confused by your words. "I mean, who's that girl Shane? Hmm? You have a girl waiting for you somewhere that loves you enough to threaten me and believe your bullshit, and you're fucking any girl you meet?" you say in a soft, sad voice.

He laughs humorlessly. "Tsk, tsk. Language, Mitchie." He lets go of your name like it's honey again. He has always had a way to make you feel crazy with just one word. You try to shake off those emotions and focus on what he is saying. "And you're wrong. I'm not fucking every girl I meet." He says condescendingly. He comes closer to you, backing you against the stop sign post slowly. His aftershave invades your senses as he raises his hand to lightly trace your cheek. "I'm not fucking you." He whispers in your ear before abruptly pulling away from you. You shiver and wrap your arms around yourself again.

"I didn't cheat on you with Nate for what it's worth." You mutter softly. You watch as his shoulders and back muscles tense as he stops in mid-step. He doesn't turn around to face you as you walk forward. "I didn't, okay? You know how the media twisted things, Shane. I really liked you. I was like in love with you. I was sixteen - not a mastermind cheater. I'm sorry if you thought I was." You whisper, putting a hand on his lower back. He jerks out of your touch, turning around to glare at you.

"Listen to me, Michelle Torres and listen closely. I don't give a fuck about your lies or apologies or your excuses. If you want to make it here in LA for whatever reason you are here for, leave me the fuck alone. I don't want to see your face or even talk to you anymore." He hisses, pain showing in his eyes momentarily.

You feel tears well up again. "Oh, so you can fuck random girls and make out with them in parks when you have a girlfriend, but you cannot talk to me - a girl you've known since you were a teenager?" you ask, anger and surprise lacing into your voice. He laughs humorlessly, shaking his head before balling his fists up by his sides. Does he blame you for losing fame? You don't understand why he is treating you this way. Last time you check, the two of you were supposedly adults. You could talk, couldn't you?

"Honey, if you want me to fuck you, say the word. In the end, that's all you will be. And look, we don't even have to talk for that." He says in a tightlipped smile. Your shoulders shrug in sadness as he reaches out his hand to brush your hair back. You look up surprised. "I used to love your hair color." He says absentmindedly before pushing his fingers together to pull the strand. You gasp loudly, your hands going to your hair as he steps back. "Now, I can't stand it." he says darkly. "Go to hell, Mitchie. You know - you aren't worth a meaningless fuck. That's how disgusting you are to me." He tells you sharply, his eyes stormy.

You open your mouth hurtfully before shaking your head. "Fuck you, Shane." You mutter before turning away from him. He wants you to say away from him, you will.

**XXX**

**Just saying - only someone that really loved someone can hate someone that much.**

**Remember that.**

**Thanks for the support, guys. It means a lot. Next chapter at 45 reviews [=**

**And of course, thanks to my beta - ms. Sabrina **


	3. Chapter 3

"**Little change of the heart, little light in the dark, little hope that you just might find your way out of here. Cause you've been hiding for days, wasted and wasting away, but I got a little hope today you'll face your fears." Go - Boys Like Girls**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Three

Black Mamba, the little café you have avoided this past week like Swine Flu, is apparently the school's main café. You found this out today when you were invited to go to a study group - at the Black Mamba. "Are you sure? Maybe we should go to… McDonald's or something?" you suggest, but you are ignored mostly. They - the study group - wants to go to that café, and if you don't come, you know no one will have a broken heart.

"Nah, we want to go to the Mamba. Plus, Jade is performing tonight. Have you heard of Jade? She's fucking awesome, man." Some kid you think is named Jacob tells you. The forced smile slips off your face and a frown takes its place. But they don't notice. "We can go, study and then watch the performance." He starts to tell you but ends up looking at another girl across from you. You swallow and look over to the girl as well for the first time. You furrow your eyebrows when you notice she is giving you a dirty look but still smiling. You look down quickly, a slight blush coming to your cheeks. "You coming, Checca?" he asks her with a warm smile.

She looks away from you, her blonde hair falling in front of her face. She nods politely to him before turning to you again. "Are you?" she asks, her voice as sweet as sugar. The hard, nasty look she had transformed to a nicer, more fake one as she focused her light blue eyes on you. Swallowing again, you twist your watch on your wrist. You don't ever want to go back to that damn café, but you need to make friends - preferably ones that don't drink on a regular basis. So, you nod. The smile on her pretty little face drops abruptly but Jacob turns to face you warmly.

"Great. Let's meet there at four. Let's get one of the big tables since it's like ten of us." He tells you as he gathers his books. You smile nervously and nod again, refusing to speak. The blonde starts picking up her stuff too, just as the teacher casually waves you off. College is so strange to you sometimes. There are no bells or formal dismissals. People talk, text, and sleep during class and no one says anything. It's insane, that's what it is. "See you later, Michelle." He calls out, waving you a goodbye. You open your mouth to correct him, even though he's already halfway gone.

"It's Mitchie."

Your eyebrows rise almost to your hairline. You snap your head back to the blonde. "You know my name?" you ask shocked. You thought she didn't like you, didn't even want you near her. Why would she know you? You stare at her for a second, and things begin to click. The light blonde hair, the perfect figure, the angry glare. You have never met her before, but you sure as hell had a run in with her recently.

She gives a small throaty laugh. "Of course. I used to love you. I'm Francesca Matters." She admits, her eyes still cold. Your eyes widen as you try to decipher what she means by that. Your surprise is drawn on your face, and she picks up on that. "You were famous for like half a second, remember, little Miss Sweet and Innocent? You dated Shane Grey - back when that meant something. I thought you two were so perfect - so real. I was glad that after all that bullshit with that country singer and that bitch of a movie star, he picked a fan, a real girl. You are pretty, gorgeous even if you would just try, but so relatable. Here was a girl that he met at summer camp and fell in love with. It was beautiful - romantic. But then, you broke the band. You were Connect Three's Yoko. The fans were so wrong about you." She finishes, standing up and grabbing her books.

You freeze. "That was a misunderstanding. Me and Nate… we were friends. And you know what, this isn't any of your business." You conclude, feeling too hurt, feeling too guilty, to care about her. Francesca's eyes flash with anger before she laughs humorlessly.

"Actually, it was. Maybe not my personal business, but when you decided to date Shane Grey, you became everyone's business. God, I thought you were amazing" she adds, almost ashamed of herself. "So much for believing in people." She snorts. You narrow your eyes at her before grabbing your books roughly. You roll your eyes at her. "You should stay away from him." She whispers, hugging her books to her chest.

Anger runs through your body. "I'm not getting near him, for your information. And also for your information, this is the second time someone thinks I still want him and has told me to stay away. You wanna know the first? His girlfriend, and I'm not talking about you, _Checca_. I'm talking about Jade - the girl you all think is so rad. He's with her. I'm not interested in jackasses who have girlfriends and cheat on them with college girls who don't have a life and obsess over other's. So fuck off because I don't love Shane Grey and I don't need him at all. If he won't listen to me and hear my explanation about Nate, then fuck him too. But I don't have to explain anything to you. Goodbye, Francesca, and how about you grow up. He was using you for sex that night in the park. Shane doesn't care about you. He hardly cares about himself." You say, losing steam at the end.

Francesca sucks in her breath sharply, her eyes angry still.

But you just do not care. Instead, you turn around and walk out of that classroom. The sound of your heels make almost make a beat as you walk purposely to the far staircase, but something stops you at the foot of it. Just downstairs is your next class, but you are just realizing something. California is filled with fakes and posers. Or maybe, you are just surrounded in every angle by them. It isn't worth it. You could be with your mother and father, with your friends, with your comfort, but instead, you are wasting away in California. It isn't worth it. Not all. So, instead of walking down to British Literature, you go to the little computer room you found your second day here.

Going to computer 23 like you always do, you drop all your books carelessly on the counter. You log in anxiously, your mouth set to a straight line as you stare at the blue screen. When you are able to go on the internet, you go straight to Google. You stare at the white page for a while before typing in four words:

New York University Transfer.

--

In the end, you still go to the study group. You just don't care anymore. What can Jade or Shane do? Is she going to kill you with her peroxide hair? Is he going to glare you to death? You can go to the Black Mamba if you want to, and no one's going to stop you. If you have your way, anyways, you will be gone by next week - at a new school and back in your area. Maybe not New Jersey, but close enough to still be able to go home when you want to. "Hey, guys." You say, head held high when you enter the café at four. The people there - Jacob being one of them - smile at you and wave you over.

You give them a large smile that you used to be known for a million years ago. One particularly attractive guy gives you a smile back as you reach to shake his hand. "Gabe." He introduces himself as you sit down next to him. You laugh and say your name, bringing the flirty attitude to full blast. You are tired of being afraid. Actually, that's a lie. You just want to leave fucking California, and for one night, you want to pretend you belong. "Nice to meet you." He says with a smirk as he looks you up and down. You smile warmly, sitting up straight in your seat. You are proud of yourself for going home after getting all the information you needed and getting ready for this evening as if you were going to some place that actually mattered.

You straightened your hair, put on some makeup, but you figure that best part of everything is the smile on your face. You want to leave this damn state, and you will. That makes you happier than anyone could imagine. "You too." You say before facing the rest of the group. There's a pretty girl with auburn hair and bright blue-green eyes that makes eye contact with you. "Hi, I'm Mitchie." You say, sticking your hand out. The girl's eyes widen for a second before she starts beaming at you.

"Hi, love. My name is Mandy." She says, grasping your hand firmly. "You have the most awesome eyebrows by the way." She muses. You laugh, your fingers grazing the fine hairs a bit self consciously. After you introduce yourself to the rest of the people, your confidence starts to leave you. Actually, it isn't even your confidence. You are just tired of keeping up the image you just created - happy, bold, everything that you normally aren't. It's tiring to continuously smile, but you try. "What do you think, Mitchie?" Mandy asks, looking at you curiosity. You smile at her - a real one at least - and nod.

When the rest of the group sans Francesca came, you immediately jumped into studying for Calculus. "I think it's A as well. It seems to be the only plausible answer." You say, shaking your hair softly out of your eyes. Jacob nods and looks at the back of the book to check the answers. He smiles and nods at you again.

"You girls are right." He tells you, making you grin and softly blush. You and Mandy give each other a high five before laughing and turning back to the problems. "Do you know the answer to forty, Mitchie?" he asks. You open your mouth to answer when you hear the empty chair beside you move, the bottom scraping against the floor. You freeze but do not look at the person.

You know it is him.

You haven't seen him for a week, but you know his smell. Plus, his arm goes behind your chair, and you cannot think of anyone else that would do that. His other arm goes in front of him - and you - and you see the Rolex on his wrist, just under his rolled up sleeves. "Yeah. I got B. I think it's because x equals five." you say without even turning to your left. You watch as both Mandy and Jacob's eyes leave you.

Mandy's eyes narrow as she mulls over who he is. Suddenly, her eyes go wide and she looks down without another word. Jacob bites his lip just as the boy next to you shuffles. His fingers softly dance along the side of your arm. His thumb gently rubs the exposed skin as he comes close when Jacob starts talk to him. "Are you here with the calc study group? Who do you have? McCollum?" he asks. You notice he is a little peeved that he is apparently almost an hour late.

You hear a laugh besides you. "No, I'm not with the calc study group. I could pass that in my sleep. I don't need a bunch of smartasses who think they know everything try to tell me what I already learned from the teacher." He leans forward as you freeze again. Your eyes widen and you finally turn to look at him.

And that was a bad idea.

You immediately look at Jacob again before turning to Gabe who isn't even paying attention. The once very attractive boys just turned to nothing - not with the way Shane looks. His hair is wet and messy, sticking up everywhere. His clear skin is the lightest olive tone, highlighting his Italian roots. The purple plaid shirt he is wearing does wonders to show his physique and even though you didn't stare at them enough, those tight skinny jeans show off his tough, muscular thighs. "Excuse me?" Jacob asks, but you hardly even hear him. You can feel your cheeks heating up. You do not remember him looking this amazing when you were sixteen and he was barely eighteen.

He was small and scrawny - and very lean with no real muscles that stood out. He wore his hair long and boyish, framed with brooding eyes every teenage had. He was just a kid, but God - he's not anymore.

He's definitely a man. Thanks for that update. Let's cool down, huh?

You try to focus back to the situation at hand, hearing the tail end of what Shane is saying. You figure it's about you with the looks you are receiving from your new friends. "…mind, I'm just gonna steal this girl right here. I know she's incredibly annoying and a bitch, so really - you should be thanking me." He says, faking amusement in his voice. Suddenly, the gentle touch he had on your arm turned rougher. You gasp as he squeezes your upper arm and you snap your head to him. Of course, you notice his light honey brown eyes and his full lips before getting angry at him. "C'mon, Mitchie." He says between gritted teeth, standing up with a fake smile.

You turn to Mandy and Jacob, with raised eyebrows before looking at Shane innocently. "I'm sorry. Do I know you?" you ask sweetly, a fake smile to match his. He laughs humorlessly, pointedly, before yanking your hand roughly to stand you up. You try to control the shiver that runs throughout your body as his fingers rub against yours.

"Cut the bullshit, Torres." He says darkly before turning to the group. You notice that the rest of the table have quieted down a little, and you start to redden. Instead of turning to them, you huff and cross your arms, yanking your hand back before walking away from the table. You hear Shane turn back to the group, the fake smile painfully obvious. "I'll bring Mitchie right back." He says before pivoting and catching up to you. You gasp when his hand pressed deeply on your lower back, suddenly leading you to where he wants you to go. You try to get out his touch but he pressed his fingers deeper into your back, before sliding his arm further down to wrap it around your waist.

You stop mid-step and turn your face to the side, your hair falling in front of your eyes. "Don't touch me, Shane." You whisper under your breath darkly. He rolls his eyes at your attempts to claw his fingers away, and instead of letting go, squeezes you harshly, practically bringing you to his chest. His smell once again invades your sense and you can feel the shiver come up your spine.

"Walk, Torres." He commands in the same voice. Your eyes meet for a couple second - but it feels like minutes. You hiss but turn away and walk again. His hand goes back to guiding you. He brings you to the darkest part of the café, allowing you to slide into the booth. You look at him, rolling your eyes.

"Are you planning to kill me and leave my dead body on this seat?" you ask sarcastically, your voice slowing down when he slides in next to you. "You could sit across from me, you know?" you snap, as your senses go into overdrive. He ignores you, shoving his entire body weight sideways into you. You gasp, your body jerking towards the wall. "Shane!" you exclaim but he does it once more. You get the picture and finally just slide down all the way yourself. Shane follows you all the way - not that it's much but to you even a foot between you feels like centimeters. It's just too close for comfort.

His arm goes behind your head again, as he moves in closer. You can feel his entire side against yours, and it's seriously unnerving. You can feel like the fine hairs on your bare arm stand on end as he runs his arm down the side of your arm. Suddenly, he is pulling you into his chest, his mouth at your ear. "I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me, Mitchie." He whispers before nuzzling his head in your neck for a second. He abruptly pulls away, leaving you cold turkey. He swings his legs out and goes to the opposite booth, sliding down so you are staring straight at each other.

"You don't own this café, Shane. I can be here if I want to be here." You say, trying to remember that confidence you had earlier. He raises his eyebrow before leaning back, his arm on behind the top of the seat again. His eyes are piercing but they leave you, looking out to the café. "And what are you trying to prove, Shane? Huh? I'm not here for you. I'm here for me - not that you even care." You snap, your eyes sharp. When he doesn't answer, you almost leave but something stops you.

He's still obviously a pain in the ass, but…

He doesn't have that anger in his eyes that he had last week. He didn't even want to touch you, but now, he's okay with it? You narrow your eyes at him, trying to figure him out before realizing something. You just don't care. "I'm leaving California." You blurt out, wanting to see his response. He looks at you, his expression not even changing. You hiss again. "That's what you wanted right? For me to leave your sight? Well, honey, if everything goes through, I won't be here next week." You tell him sardonically, bitterly. He runs his hand through his hair before finally looking you in the eyes. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds without saying anything before you click your tongue. "You tell me to cut the bullshit? Please. Do me a favor and do the same." You shake your head and start to get out of the booth.

He swallows softly, rolling up a piece of a napkin in his fingers. "I talked to Nate." He says steadily. You freeze. You eyes snap to his face, but he isn't looking at you. But you sure as hell look at him. His jaw is set so sharply, so strongly. He is not as angry, but you know he is still furious with something or someone - probably you.

"And?" you breathe out, swallowing as well.

He sighs. "And we talked for the first time in two years." He starts but you cut him off. Honestly, you didn't even listen to what he was saying. If you had, you wouldn't have ever said it. The line was just in your head; you had to say it.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't an invitation to continue talking. That was a - I don't _fucking_ care." You say each word penetratingly. His eyes widen and he looks at you surprised. "You don't get to treat me like shit and then think we can have a conversation. I'm done with guys treating me like that, okay? So, go to hell." You say, while struggling to get out the booth. You throw him one last glare before turning around and leaving.

Once you get to the more lit area, you realize just how hard you are shaking. Your heart feels like it might explode in any second as you fall into your seat. Mandy looks at you for a second before picking up her mug. "So, you know Shane Grey?" she asks nonchalantly, her eyebrow raised.

You clear your throat, shaking your head. "I used to." You say, before opening your calc book.

--

You don't want to stick around for Jade's performance, mostly because you know it will really turn into a true performance if she sees you there. But Mandy wants you to stay, and she's just about the first person who has cared about you. She let go of the topic of Shane Grey talking to you - and you were grateful. Plus, you cannot dictate your life on what Jade may or may not do.

You still swallow hard when the lights start to dim though.

Looking around, you notice the multitude of people who have shown up to see her. The place literally flooded with people in the last hour. You resist the temptation to look for Shane, and you wonder if he will come looking for you. Knowing how much he likes to annoy you, you couldn't be surprised if he stalked you until you left for New York. That is, if he even cares. "Want some fries?" Mandy asks as the two of you look through the menu.

"Sure. Cheese?" you ask her with a smile. She tilts her head from side to side before nodding. "Alright." You say before signaling the waitress. The girl - Sabrina from her nametag - forces a smile, obviously tired of working all day. Plus, this isn't the first time you have called her over in the past three hours. "Can we have cheese fries, please?" you ask sheepishly. She nods and writes it down, before turning around and going to the kitchen. You and Mandy look at each other before suddenly laughing together. "That poor girl is so getting a huge tip. We have made her run all over the place." You say, leaning on Mandy to get a nacho that you had ordered earlier.

She laughs and nods. "So, do you want to go see that new vampire movie next week? I want to go see it so bad, but shh. I don't want anyone to know. It's a secret." She says, lowering her voice mockingly. You laugh before the happiness fades from your eyes. You bite your lip and shrug your shoulders.

"I'm leaving back to home next week hopefully, so I won't be here for when it comes out." You tell her. You watch as her face drops but she forces a smile. Before anything else is said between the two of you, the lights go completely off. Mandy gasps, not expecting it, and many people scream before laughing. "People are so immature." You say with a laugh as the spotlights come on. Suddenly, people start screaming as someone comes out. "Please, give a loud applause for Jade." The person calls out and the café cheers. You clap your hands softly together as Mandy gets out of her seat to cheer.

You watch as the petite blonde comes on stage, her piercing green eyes shining through. She has a bright red guitar in her hands and you immediately recognize it. You gasp sharply but no one pays attention to you. Shuffling in your chair, you feel tears come unexpectedly to your eyes. You look at every detail of the instrument, barely paying attention to her singing. All you can see is the new coat of paint and the shin on the guitar, but underneath all that fakeness, you know on the left side of the guitar, there is a huge dent from when you dropped it once. On the back side of the guitar, there are scratches from when Shane decided he could use it as temporary drums. So many scratches in fact that Shane decided it didn't matter if there were a few more, so he craved something in it.

MT + SG

It had a little heart and arrow and all. "I can't be here." You suddenly find yourself saying and you push yourself out of that seat. Mandy looks at you, her eyes concerned or annoyed or something, but you ignore her and start leaving. Jade is still singing too fucking well for you to stay - especially on the guitar that you and Shane used to share. You move past all the bodies until you get outside. Once there, you breathe out raggedly. That really hurt you. You honestly feel heartbroken, and you do not know why. Maybe because you thought that guitar meant something to him. Maybe it was because Nate had given it to you as a gift before everything went to hell.

You wipe a tear from your eye as you sit down on the bench. For a while, you just sit there, crying slightly and not moving. You jerk up in surprise when you feel a hand on your back, touching your bra through your shirt. You look up to find a pair of pretty creepy eyes staring back at you. Your breath gets caught in your throat as he smirks. "What's wrong?" he asks, faking sympathy.

"Not-hing." You choke, your voice breaking. You start getting up rather abruptly. "I need to go. Bye." you call out awkwardly but he grabs your arm roughly. You hiss and look back at him shocked.

He smirks again.

"We keep running into each other. My name is Mark. What's yours?" his voice is gruff and disgusting to your ears. You shrug out of touch and try to think of something to tell him. He's still too close for you to just run away. You swallow harshly, but instead of chickening out, you stand up straighter, your chin out.

"Leave me alone." You say as firmly as possible. He scoffs amused before stepping close to you.

"Do you say that to every boy that comes close to you?" he says, raising an eyebrow. You look at him strangely. "That's twice today." He muses, and you freeze. You look at him with wide eyes, your heart suddenly beating loudly. "Come on, baby. I just want your name. We can go see a movie or something." He proposes but his eyes stray down. You put your calc book closer to your chest, blocking the minimal cleavage you were actually showing.

"Please, leave me alone." You say again, taking a step back. This time your voice is a little bit more panicked. You nearly scream when you feel a body behind you. Closing your eyes, you figure you are about to get gang-raped or something. You try to remember how to defend yourself, thinking weirdly enough of _Miss Congeniality_ with Sandra Bullock. Something about smashing your hand up there nasal area and the standard kick to the groin.

However, in those spilt seconds you were thinking, you realized you recognized the smell of the person behind you. A mixture of cigarettes and maybe sex hits your nose, and ironically enough, you calm down. A hand goes down and rests on your waist, pulling you to his chest. Mark's eyes snaps up to meet those from the guy behind you. "Hey. Do you mind?" he asks, his voice dark.

When you hear a laugh, you gasp as the vibrations of his chest hits your back. "Yeah. I do. See, this girl right here in a fucking pain in my ass. You have no idea how much I hate her or how much I don't want her here." His voice is bitter again, angry like it was last week. You scoff and turn your head to side to glare at him, leaning into his chest. You meet Shane's brown fierce eyes and the two of you stare at each other for half a second. He suddenly squeezes your hip before looking at Mark. "We have a lot of problems." He adds, almost conversationally. "So, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to steal her away now." He gives a fake smile before pushing you into his chest and then pivoting.

He brings you back inside the café and you are reminded of why you left in the first place. You suddenly turn on him, pushing him to the side where there aren't many people. He gasps before scoffing and glaring at you. "How could you?" you snap, your voice cracking slightly. His eyes narrow while his eyebrows lower.

"That guy look like he was about to rape you. Sorry. Next time I'll let him." He says, hopefully sarcastically. He leans against the wall on his side, crossing his arms. You shake your head, rolling your eyes. Suddenly, you turn around, your back once again pressed up against Shane's chest. This time you focus on the feel of his muscles before pointing to Jade. "Honey, I thought it was established that I had a girl." He says, attitude quite clear in his voice.

"Shane!" you say exasperatedly. "The guitar. The fucking guitar. You are an asshole." You say as you turn around. Your hand instinctively smacks his shoulder as you breathe out harshly. He flinches away from your touch, apparently confused by you. He looks at the stage, focusing on Jade. You watch as his face goes from confusion to shock to darkness. "You didn't know she had it, did you?" you say, your shoulders sagging. He shoots you a glare before shaking his head. "Well, then how did she get it?" you ask accusingly while putting your hands on your hips. He doesn't answer you and you halfway don't even want to wait for his answer.

You turn around, fully intending to go home. Until you see Mark still by the bench. Shane sighs behind you. "I'll take you home." He says, grabbing your hand rather roughly. 

**XXX**

**Thank you for all the support guys. =] it seriously means a lot.**

**But guess what guys? I joined NaNoWriMo - aka National Novel Writing Month. I have to complete fifty thousand words by the end of the month. I will still be updating TUS but if I'm ever too late, it's because I'm focusing on that. Once I finished… who knows? I might, switch the names and make it a smitchie for you guys. Haha**

**Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. Means a lot when you review. **

**To my beta, thanks. To all my fans, thanks.**

**Sandra**

**PS - let's try for 68? Thanks.**


	4. Chapter 4

"**Honestly I didn't mean to cry so hard. The heartache was pouring in like rain. I didn't mean to show I care****." Honesty - Bethany Joy Lenz**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Four

You walk with him to the parking lot, wondering if you could just ask him to walk you to your house. It's easier and less time consuming. Shane fishes for his keys in his black leather jacket before finding them and opening the car from where he was walking. Your eyes go to where you see lights come on, and they widen at the very nice black sports car that he is walking to. You pause for a couple seconds as he gets to the driver's door. You do not know why but you almost expected him to walk to the passenger's side to open it for you. When he slides into his seat, a light blush goes on your face, especially when he raises his eyebrow at you through the windshield. You quickly go to your side, but before you go in, you notice a small white sign. "Should you be parking in a spot reserved for the owner?" you ask, pointing to the sign.

He rolls his eyes but mostly ignores you. You can tell his mind is somewhere else at the moment, and you internally wonder if maybe he is thinking about the guitar and more specifically how Jade got the guitar. "Where do you live?" he asks, pulling out of the café's parking lot. His voice is quiet and still has a tinge of anger as he waits for your directions. You go to answer but at the same time, you are looking out the window. That's when you see Mark right at the parking lot entrance. "Mitchie!" Shane snaps at you, not used to being ignored apparently. Mark is looking straight at you with dark eyes. You watch as he moves forward and climbs in an old Jeep, before turning on his car and just sitting there - still looking at you. Shane narrows his eyes, following your gaze. "What the fuck is his deal, Michelle? Like, seriously - he's a creep." He spits out, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

"Don't you think I know that?" you snap back with a glare. You set your mouth in a straight line as you heart starts to beat faster. "Go to the left." You say, sitting up straighter in your seat. The leather sticks your bare sweaty skin and you wince at the slight pain, as Shane revs up the car. He growls at you.

"No need for attitude, Ms. Torres." He scolds you. You roll your eyes and he looks over to Mark again. His eyes narrow darkly again as he revs the car once more. You swallow the excess salvia that is gathering in your mouth as the sound hits your ears. It's almost as if Shane is trying to scare him with some kind of weird testosterone battle. "If this guy follows me to your house, I will fuck him up so badly." He says as he moves the car forward a little.

At the same time, Mark turns on his car lights.

Shane growls again. You shiver and swallow harshly. "And that's why we aren't going to my house and why you are gonna zoom this pretty little fast car." You say, a little bit of attitude coming through to hide the feelings inside of you. Shane looks at you for a second before moving the car down the lot, sneaking a glare to Mark as you pass him. When he turns out of the parking lot to the left, he looks at you again.

"Are you scared?" he asks, his voice rough. You do not answer him again, and instead, look behind you to see if Mark is following you. A violent shiver goes through you as you watch Mark flicker off his car lights again and starting up the engine. You jump and gasp loudly when you feel a hand on your thigh. Shane meant to calm you down but all he achieved was for you to smack his hand away. He rolls his eyes at you before becoming serious again to look behind him. When he saw that Mark didn't move, Shane jetted the car out of the parking lot - fast enough for the tires to make a loud noise on the pavement. "You want me to sing? That used to calm you down." He says but it isn't a suggestion. He meant it as a dig; he meant it to hurt you. Turning back to him, you glower at him, eyes piercing. "Where now, Mitch?" he asks, his voice steady.

"I don't know." You huff, pushing against the leather seats. "I'm not from around here, remember?" you scowl at him and he clicks his tongue. His hands tighten around the steering wheel, briefly looking at you before turning to the road again.

"I would stop with the attitude, Torres." He says, his voice razor-sharp. You snort and cross your arms, throwing your head back. "I'm serious. I don't need to take you anywhere." His voice is on the brink of yelling. You look away from him without saying a word. You grit your teeth, putting your elbow on the window edge to bring your hand to your hair. "What the fuck is your problem anyways? Huh?" he questions, trying to calm down. What he said only proved to infuriate you even more. You whip your head to him so quickly, you sure you almost hurt yourself. You can feel yourself yelling even before you open your month. The fear from Mark, the anger form Jade, the pain from Shane - all claw inside of you until you just cannot take it anymore.

"What the fuck is my problem! Are you fucking kidding me?" you scream. Shane almost jumps and he looks at you with wide eyes. "I wanted to talk to you. Maybe reminisce on that guy who was to be my first fucking love! But no! You had to screw with my feelings because you believed some fucking rumor that was made up by a girl who hated me and Nate. Are you proud of yourself, Shane? That you pushed me away? That you pushed away your own flesh and blood? Your little brother? Jesus Christ, that boy looked up to you so much and you left it all because of something wasn't true? Are you proud of yourself? Here with your pathetic girlfriend and casual fuckbuddies?" you scream because he starts yelling over you as well.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" he yells back as he slams the car to a stop. You barely even pay attention, still screaming. "You have no right to come here and question my life, especially when you are much more of a mess that I am!" he leans his body forward, gripping the steering wheel. You open your mouth - _ Excuse me!_ - you yell back while he continues to argue. "You cannot even stay a whole fucking month in a new place! What are you trying to accomplish? Because whatever it is, you are failing hardcore. And I told you I talked to Nate today, Goddamn it!" he yells that last part the hardest, slamming his hand against the wheel. Your heart is beating so fast as he glares at you. "But you didn't want to hear it. I'm so sorry, Mitchie. I'm so fucking sorry that I believed her over the two of you…" he says in a steady voice before screaming again. "But what the fuck am I supposed to do about it now? Cry about it? Go commit suicide?" his eyes are so angry as he glares at you.

His breath is ragged and after a while, you realize you are shaking. Moreover, you realize you are crying. You are actually crying over him. Nothing is said for at least a minute, in where he puts his head in his hands and leans against the steering wheel and you try not to make a sound. Trying to save the last piece of dignity you have, you swallow deeply and open the door. "Mitchie." He sighs, picking his head up. He is breathing heavily still but you ignore him. Instead, you slam the door shut after you, walking back towards Black Mamba. You hear him groan and open the door to his side as well, before hearing his footsteps as he catches up to you. He grabs your waist to stop you from walking but you turn to your head specifically to avoid his gaze. You don't know why but you feel heartbroken. Seriously, just heartbroken. "Mitchie." He repeats, coming closer to you. "Do you know how I felt when I saw you and Nate so close together after I read that article? It broke me so much, and I'm sorry for that." He tries to keep the anger in his voice in check but you can tell the emotion is still there. You shake your head and try to get out of his grasp, but he just holds you harder. Another shiver runs up your body when his fingers go underneath the hem of your shirt to pull you to him.

"Shane." You whisper, but your voice breaks. You meant for your voice to sound hard and unaffected, but instead, it just shows your vulnerability.

"What the fuck are we doing, Mitchie? Jesus, we're falling into the same pattern we always do. We put each other on a fucking pedestal, only to be disappointed and push the other a way. We have to stop this. All we're doing is hurting each other." He says, running a hand through his hair. You swallow down the bile you can feel rising up your body. "I'm so fucking tired of this. I'm so tired of the pain that keeps hitting me whenever I see you." He admits, sighing. "And what's worse is the fact you haven't even been here for a full month and you are driving me insane." He groans, lowering his head almost in shame. You freeze and push at his hands lightly, but he doesn't let go off you. Instead, he intertwines your fingers in a way to get you to stop. You shiver again as you feel his warm breath on your cheeks. He smells like cigarettes and coffee.

It's driving _you_ absolutely insane.

You push against him again and he closes his eyes tightly. "Do you know how I felt? That day? When you broke up with me? When you didn't even let me explain?" you snap back, swallow hard. He sucks in his breath and keeps his eyes closed. You can feel him so close to you yet so far. "Christ, Shane. We aren't seventeen and sixteen anymore. We aren't kids. We can't just yell and scream all day because of something - a misunderstanding - that happened four years ago. You were a good boyfriend, but we broke up. And we moved on. I dated James for a while and that was great. And you are obviously with Jade. We aren't kids anymore." You repeat and gulp before looking away.

"I shouldn't be feeling this way." Shane says, his fingers squeezing your waist. You try to push him away again, but he ignores you. "I hate you." He suddenly says, his eyes bright and sharp again. His fingers dig into your skin as he glares at you. "I really just hate you." You hardly even notice it, but his voice cracks. "I don't want to see you again, Mitchie. I'm glad you're leaving, because I don't want you here - butting into my life, into my thoughts. I fell out of love for you and this isn't happening again." You scoff and go to take a step back but his fingers are still embedded in your skin. This time you push against him harder to make him let go of you but he steps forward. His cologne invades your senses as he comes closer. "It isn't, Mitchie." He repeats.

"Fine. Shane, it isn-"you star but he cuts you off.

It's been four years since you last felt his lips on yours, and the last time you had, it was hard and rough. He was angry with you then because he thought you were lying and you thought you could calm him with a kiss; instead, you just made him angrier. The second his full lips brushed up against yours, standing under the California stars, you thought it would mirror that kiss. You thought that he was going to push you up against the car and squeeze your hips violently enough to leave bruises. You thought he was going to slam his tongue in and passionately kiss you.

But that's the thing about Shane Grey - he likes to surprise you.

He brushes his lips against yours a couple times, barely touching you, before gently sucking your bottom lip in between his. He lets go of your waist and brings his hand to cradle your face. You shiver when his fingers brush back your hair as he softly runs his tongue across your top lip. That's when you break the slow kiss, looking away immediately. His body is still so close to yours though. His hand that is cradling your face, pushes your chin up a centimeter to meet his lips again. You forgot how well he knew how to kiss, and you can almost feel your knees buckle. You are lost in the moment, spent from so much emotion, and you just let him take over. Shane gently pulls on your lower lip again, making you let out a small whimper. "Shane." You whisper his name against his mouth.

It isn't like you want to kiss him; you can hardly stand him. And after what he just said, you bet anything he doesn't like you much either. But the attraction is too much. You both are being pulled together by something - although you have no idea what. There seems to be too much tension for you to move away. His lips press against yours fully again, his hand falling from your face to your hips. You moan softly when he grabs them and pulls you closer to his body while your lips still move against each other. You really cannot pull yourself away from him, even if you tried again. You hate him. He hates you. You both know that, so why is it that you cannot help from moving your hand up to touch his neck and then to run it through his thick hair? You cannot help yourself from drinking him in completely.

You have forgotten what he was like, what he tasted like. You have forgotten how good he made you feel. "Mitchie." He mutters, the confusion very clear in his voice. He separates from you slightly and you can see the storm brewing behind his eyes. At least, you can take comfort in the fact that he is just as fucked up as you are. He could be standing there all smug that he got you to respond to his kiss; instead, he is just as out of it as you.

But then suddenly, he is turning away from you and looking to the street.

You feel a rush of hurt go through you as you realize _how much he doesn't care_. He probably gave that damn guitar to Jade, not even remembering what it once meant. He probably does this little soft kiss move to every girl to get them in bed. What is he? Angry now? Ashamed? Unbelievable, you think. You start to push against him, ready to just walk home. But that's when you notice that he has pressed his body completely against yours. His nostrils flare as he grabs your hips with so much strength. You squirm at the pain, pushing against his hands. He growls under his breath and sends you a glare before looking back onto the street. You instantly get that he is back to being angry - furious even. You just don't understand why he would pull you closer if he suddenly has remembered that he is over you or that you don't meant anything.

That is, until you realize Shane isn't glaring at you, but at the street. Until you realize you aren't the one he is angry at. Until you realize he isn't pushing his body up against yours to be a perv, but rather to protect you. Until you realize that if you turn your head to look to where Shane is still glowering at, you would see a Jeep start to pick up speed before disappearing into the next street.

Until you realize, Mark was in fact following you.

--

"I think you should stay here tonight." He says after opening the front door to his place. You almost do not hear him. You are thinking of too many things at the same time to even begin to comprehend Shane. You try to take your mind off things by looking around his home, taking in the fact that it is a one bedroom condominium, instead of a huge mansion in a gated community with a large golf course as his backyard. His apartment isn't even in L.A., but just outside Beverly Hills. You have to remind yourself constantly that he isn't part of the scene anymore. You bet, if he really wanted to, Connect Three could be big again. "It's probably too dangerous." He justifies himself, his voice dripping with some attitude.

He thinks you are ignoring him. Does he not get that you are beyond freaked out right now? "I think I should call the police." You counteract, looking around the apartment again. After you pass the doorway, you cannot make yourself move anymore. The bile rising up your throat is killing you right now. "Shane, what the hell am I doing here?"you sigh, throwing your head back. You want to stop feeling like you are about to throw up, but it doesn't help at all. Shane rolls his eyes before opening the door he just closed.

"Fine. Leave." He says sardonically. "I hope you get raped and murdered. I'll see if I can make it to your funeral." He snaps, lightly pushing you out the door. His threat makes alarms ring throughout your body. Not really that he would leave you out in the streets - because as much of an asshole that he is, you don't believe he would ever intentionally cause you physical harm. Plus, who would want that one their conscious? No, what hits you is that Mark could hurt you. Mark could find you at school or when you are walking to or from it. Mark could have even followed you guys here to Shane's apartment - even though Shane did drive rather fast and erratically to take Mark off course.

Mark could hurt you.

Mark _can_ hurt you.

Shane obviously notices your paling face and wide scared eyes because he stops trying to get you out the door and just sighs. "C'mon, Mitchie." His voice is much softer, apparently sorry for scaring you. His hand goes to your lower back, this time pushing you inside the apartment further. You let him, not even really paying any attention to him. Instead, you focus on something else: anger and for some reason California.

Because really, what the fuck is up with California? So far all your hopes, dreams, and thoughts about this state has just brought misery. Nothing has gone right. At all. You hate this damn state with every fiber of your being. You want out. Right now. You want to leave so badly. You want to go back home! New Jersey's nice. Sure, there are crimes and shit, but it's better than this Godforsaken state. Why the hell aren't you over there? You would be all bundled up in fall clothes with Caitlyn as you walk to Starbucks or some shit. But no. You are in fucking California, where they have fucking Black Mamba and potential rapist and fucking annoying pain in the asses pop-stars!

While your anger escalates, Shane has already brought you into his living room and to a sofa. "Hey. Stop shaking. I won't let that freak a lay a hand on you." He tells you, squeezing your upper arms. You look at him strangely, not even realizing you were shaking. Your mind starts trying to remember what Mark even looks like. Blonde hair? It was unkempt, wasn't it? Blue eyes? You haven't seen him enough to actually remember him, and he is slipping away from your memories. Maybe you are just freaking out too much. Maybe Shane is right, and Mark won't be able to lay a hand on you if Shane's around. Except Shane isn't around much. And you don't want him around at all. He kind of makes your life miserable. Even if he is a hell of a kisser. "Mitchie. I swear, you are okay. I mean I don't exactly have a body guard anymore, but I can hold my own. You'll be safe tonight." He says again, his fingers still tightly holding your arms.

"Yeah tonight. What about tomorrow? Or the next day or the next!" you start getting hysterical. But you're scared and he's an ass. And you honestly do not know what to do. Call the cops, probably. You should do that - sooner rather than later. Shane sighs and runs a frustrated hand through his hair. "Jesus Christ." You almost scream, practically huffing. You sit down hard on the sofa, his fingers scratching into your skin because he wasn't expecting you to move. You whimper softly and rub the skin as he sighs exasperatedly. He squats down to look you in the eyes, brushing your hair back as he does.

"Calm down." He repeats. "Stop thinking about Mark. I'm here." His fingers stay on your skin for a second too long. You look at him just in time to see him shake his head with his eyes closed. His hand drops and when he opens his eyes again, he looks away from you, still squatting. "Who is this guy anyways?" he asks, his voice a bit rough.

You swallow hard, still trying to calm. "I don't know! He's just some asshole who ran into me the other day. Ever since that, he-he has been… I don't know. I don't know. I don't fucking know." You are slightly yelling, your hands moving all over the place. Shane gasps softly and suddenly he is taking your wrists in his strong hands.

"Mitchie, calm down." He repeats, his voice a little bit more authoritative. That's when you realize you are starting to cry. "Mitchie. Come on, baby." He says, his voice getting softer. You fight against his hands and end up standing up, pulling him with you. "Mitchie. Stop it!" he says sternly as you start trying to hit him. He grabs your wrist again after you got out of his hold for half a second and pulls you closer to him. "Mitchie!" he says sharply and you start - or maybe finish - breaking down. The tears come harder as the stress of moving, stress of your suitemates, of school, of Jade, of the damn guitar, of Nate, of Mark, and of course, of Shane. You cannot handle it anymore. This strong façade you have been trying to uphold tonight, held together by confidence and lies, is falling down - in front of Shane Grey of all people. He pulls your wrists over his head again as you try to get out of his hold before abruptly letting go of them. They fall on his shoulders as his arms quickly lower so they are around your waist.

The next second you can hardly breathe as he brings you so tightly, so roughly to his chest. You do not know what to do as he buries his head in the nook of your neck. The tears start falling faster until you just cannot resist him. You don't care if you hate him or if he is an asshole or that you want him to disappear some days. He used to be your best friend. He used to be your boyfriend. And even though he was never your lover, you used to be intimate and understanding. You used to love each other. You don't care if that love isn't there now. What's there now is this - you and him at this moment. You cannot stop your arms from tightening around his neck and just breaking down in his arms. "God, Shane. I'm scared. I'm like really scared." You admit throatily.

He just hugs you harder.

**XXX**

**That was chapter 4 haha. Thanks so much for reviewing! You guys always amaze me. I sincerely hope that this story can be even half as well received as Teach Me Tonight. I know this story isn't as sexual, and I'm not sure if it will be. Maybe. Up to you guys, If it ever gets to that point. So, I'll make a poll, asking if in the future you want it to be M. Don't review your answer, because it's easier for me to just get the info there haha. And I listen! I made Mitchie have a girl in TMT lol. [the results if I never told you were 69-20, girl in lead]. Anyways, I'm working hard on NaNoWriMon. I'm at ten thousand something and hope to get a couple thousand words more by tonight - after the paper I have to write for Art History and the Italian hw I have to do before 12.**

**I hope the kiss was alright btw. I hope this whole chapter was pleasing.**

**Last thing: I have a friend on twitter (ChirstinaReneee over there. I'm at bbggoodd (add me!)) is currently working on her record. She works with people that work with Taylor Swift and such. She is very good and talented, and a nice person (when she isn't threatening me for a chapter haha). She's definitely on the rise. Check her out at **youtube. com/christinareneesings ** (no spaces!). and tell her to give me meet and greets or tickets to her future shows (or to TayTay haha). But seriously check her out! **

**Thanks guys,**

**When all else fails, I'm glad I still have you guys.**

**PS- at 110ish [= **

**[EDIT] My birthday is Wednesday and I'm super excited. So excited, I had to edit this chapter just to tell you haha.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

"**Girl, last night I forgot to mention the way that I feel, the way that I'll remember this. When we're this young, we have nothing to lose; we just the clock to beat and a hand to choose." Vegas Skies - The Cab**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Five

You know in the end he only turns on the television to calm you down. Neither one of you are watching whatever the hell is currently playing, but for some reason, it's better than the silence. You are still in his arms somewhat while sitting on the small loveseat, but you barely pay attention to him. As in you barely say anything to him - but you do realize he is holding you. You can feel his muscles and strength in his arms as he holds you to his chest. If this was another boy or at least another time or another situation, it would have been nice. It would have been comfortable. It would have been amazing. Instead, it's weird and awkward. While you used to know the boy, you do not know the man.

And now that your mind has cleared enough, you realize just how much you do not know about Shane Grey. "_Lost and insecure. You found me. You found me lying on the floor._" The sound comes loudly from the pocket of Shane's jacket. You both jump and he sucks in his breath slightly. You get out of his arms, sitting up a bit as he rubs his eyes. You can tell he is tired and probably exhausted beyond belief. He blinks a few times before reaching for his phone. You go to move, maybe to give him privacy, maybe just to stop feeling awkward, but he doesn't let you. You don't even think he realized that you were trying to get off the sofa as his arm encircles your waist again and pulls you to his chest, his eyes on his phone. You go without a fight, knowing this probably wasn't the time considering how intensely he is staring at his cell. He tucks your head under his chin without even realizing it and you get a view of the caller ID.

_Jade Laurens calling._

You freeze immediately. What the fuck are you doing? You are in the arms of a man that has a girlfriend - that has a life completely without you. "Hey." He says, alert as he nudges your side. You watch as he presses a button on the side of the phone, silencing it before throwing it on the coffee table. "Let's not start this again, okay?" his voice is gentle as you try to calm your breathing. Apparently, you were close to hyperventilating again. Go figure. "You're fine. I'm fine. If that bastard even comes close to you ever again, he won't breathe to tell the tale. Promise." He says, but his voice is strained. He is tired. And you don't know how to feel.

"Shane." His name barely escapes your throat. You clear it loudly, swallowing and looking down. He sighs and starts to get up, pushing you up slightly. You look up at probably the worse time. Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you watch his muscles ripple when he stretches his arms high above his head. The small t-shirt he is wearing rising enough to show you some olive toned skin. Your eyes are tired but they follow his jutting hip bone to his flat, fit stomach to the fine strip of hair that went from his navel to beyond his low riding pants, until you just cannot stand it anymore. You shut your eyes tightly, trying to breathe out evenly. "Do you have covers or something? I'll sleep on the couch." You say, putting your hands over your eyes. You gasp when you feel his hand on your side and then on your lower back, making you arch up. You open your eyes to see him nodding at you so you will sit up. "What are you doing?" you ask, with a slightly bitchy attitude.

His eyes widen and he scoffs. "You can get the bed. I just wanted to carry you there. I know you are exhausted." He says in the same attitude, almost snapping at you. He tries to grab you again but you push him off, sitting up abruptly.

"I can walk, thank you!" you hiss at him. You don't want to be attracted to him. You don't want to be reminded of the way he used to kiss you and caress you every time you look at him. You don't want him to think that you want him. You just don't want him in your life. And you don't want to think about Mark any fucking longer. You just want peace, but right now, you know you cannot get it. So what do you do? You start a fight. "What the hell Shane? Either you think I'm five or you want to sleep with me. I appreciate your help and you letting me sleep over, but this doesn't mean we are now fuck-buddies that sleep in each other's beds and call whenever we want to go out. You are an asshole." You beg yourself not to cry. You feel drunk and just so out of it.

Shane growls under his breath before roughly grabbing your hand. You hate the way his hand is so warm and makes every cell in your body come alive. You hate it so fucking much. You yank your hand away, gasping when he stops mid-step. You don't know why, but fear rings up through you. After all this bullshit with Mark, it suddenly hit you that Shane could technically do something to you. You feel scared again and you hug your arms around your body. Shane looks at you and narrows his eyes at your paleness. "Are you fucking bipolar? Like what the fuck is wrong with you?" his voice is low but very sharp. Your eyebrows lower and you give him a dirty look. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "I'm really trying to help you, Mitchie, but you need to snap out of it. I realize you are in shock, but baby, everything is okay. The guy's a lunatic but you will be okay." He tells you, coming up to you. He lightly puts his hands on your shoulders to look you in your eyes. "Stop freaking out. Let me take you to my bed. I'll get you some pjs and let you rest. What time is your first class tomorrow?" he asks, his voice straining to be calm. He brings his hand to your face, his thumb flicking away a stray tear.

"Why are you being so nice to me now?" you blurt out in a whisper. Even though he occasionally slips into _prick mode_, he is trying. He is trying to help you. He's trying to be there for you.

You watch as his eyes flicker with pain for a second and he sighs. He looks away for a second and shuffles, before looking down to his feet. "Look, I know I fucked up, okay? I know that it's my fault that everything between us went south. I know that is my fault that me and my little brother haven't talked in four years. I get it, okay. I'm an asshole." He throws his hands up in defeat. You do not know what to say, so you just stare at him. He swallows and grabs your hand again, intertwining your fingers. "Come on." He orders gently, pulling your arm. He brings you to his bedroom, and your eyes immediately go to his bed. The covers are messily thrown on it with about a zillion pillows all over the place. He lets go of you and starts going through his drawers before pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt with a black cross on the bottom corner. He puts them on the bed, scratching his neck when he looks at you again. "Go to sleep, okay." He nods at you as you look down. "What time do you have class tomorrow and what time do you get out?" he questions, uncomfortably shrugging his shoulders.

"Eight and four." You breathe out, your fingers grazing the fabric he laid out. He nods before stepping away from the bed. "Shane." You say, still looking down. He pauses and looks at you, his eyes faraway. "I'm sorry." You barely mumble. He swallows before moving away from you.

And then, you're alone.

--

You wake up at around six in the morning. Sitting up in the bed, you blink as the bright yellow sunlight filters through the huge open window. Clearing your throat, you realize you are completely parched. You rub your eyes, yawning softly as you take your bare legs out from under the covers. The sweatpants Shane had given had been long forgotten and careless tossed on the night table next to the bed. His shirt hits your thighs and was cozy enough for you to cling to during the night. Figuring it probably isn't the best idea to walk around in one of your ex-boyfriend's shirts, you pick up the pants and slip them on. Once you are completely dressed, you start your search for the bathroom. You open the door quietly, immediately looking at the sofa to make sure Shane is still asleep. Sure enough, his hair is a mess and his body is sprawled over the cushions. You roll your eyes and go to the opened bathroom.

When you are done, you look through his medicine cabinet to try to find some Advil for the massive headache you have. You blink at the fact he has a packet of Trojan Ultra Ribbed Ecstasy condoms just casually tossed inside and a small bottle of lubricant. A blush goes to your face as you close the medicine cabinet quickly. You swallow and shake your head. He used to want to wait for marriage but apparently, times have changed. Sighing, you go back to the bedroom and collect your dirty clothes before going to bathroom again to change. You don't bother taking a shower, just in case he forgets that you are there and barges in or if he thinks you are Jade or something and jumps in and joins you. You walk back out the bathroom, trying not to make noise as you creep into the living room. You go grab your purse you didn't even remember bringing and start to leave. "Mitchie." You jump when you hear his hoarse voice and turn back to meet his eye. He yawns but sits up, his eyes narrowed. "Where are you going? What time is it?" he asks, getting up.

Again, he stretches, showing his perfect skin. You avert your eyes before sighing as your hand goes around the knob. "I should go to my apartment. I have class and I didn't bring clothes." You explain as he yawns again. He then rolls his eyes and starts walking towards the kitchen. You scoff and click your tongue. "So, see ya." You say cattily before turning the knob.

"Mitchie." He practically growls. You try to ignore the shiver that goes up your spine at how sexy his voice sounds. "Sit down. Take a shower here. I lend you some clothes." He practically orders as he opens the fridge. You hesitate, your hand still on the knob. He looks at you and scoffs with attitude. He points at a chair. "Sit down." He tells you, crossing his arms. You huff slightly and raised an eyebrow before crossing your arms as well. He takes a couple steps in order to lean against the wall to fully glare at you head on, his mouth set to a straight line. "Why won't you listen?" his voice is perturbed to the max. You shrug mockingly.

"Maybe because I don't take orders. I'm not a little girl, Shane. Stop treating me like one." You watch him with sharp eyes as he cross the hallway. He comes right in front of you before reaching out to grab your hand in his. You cannot stop yourself from letting your fingers intertwine and you look up surprised at the feelings he creates. He relatively ignores your expression and instead, just stares to pull you towards the kitchen. You grunt but follow him with a pout to the little counter, where he pulls out a chair with his free hand. He looks back at you with a pointed glare before mouthing, _"Sit". _ He lets go off your hand when you huff and sit down, crossing your arms as you watch him open the fridge. He pulls out a carton of eggs, along with frozen bacon and orange juice. He sets the carton of juiced on the table, rolling his eyes at your catty expression. You huff again, still watching his every move. After a while, however, the feeling of worthlessness hits you hard, until you are practically squirming in your seat. He is busy cracking the eggs in a bowl when you sit up abruptly and go to the packet of bacon.

He stares at you with a raised eyebrow, but you just ignore him as you start to unwrap the packet, before randomly opening cabinets to find a skillet pan and oil. "Mitchie?" he questions with a slight smile. You send him a dirty look before finding the pan and eventually finding the oil as well. You start to heat up the oil. "I only want a few." He says, shaking his head as he continues with the eggs. You nod absentmindedly, waving him off as you only take out four. He raises his eyebrows before laughing softly. You freeze before looking at him, clicking your tongue. Does he not realize you are fuming right now? Or is he trying to be a prick on purpose. "I forgot you hated pork. Remember that time your mother chopped up some bacon into small bits and put in your hamburger? I do recall you saying that it was the best thing ever." He laughs under his breath again, shaking his head. The elaborate frown you had on your face drops. You scrunch your nose slightly, looking at him. You look at the way his curly hair falls in front of his eyes to the way his mouth is set to straight line in concentration as he starts pouring the eggs into another pan. He moves closer to you to set the pan next to yours, your shoulders touching briefly as he notices you're staring. He lowers his eyebrows. "Um...what?" he asks, yawning a bit at the end.

"How do you remember these things?" your voice is soft, much more vulnerable than before. You look at him with sad eyes as you hear his breath get sucked in gently. He tries to push it off with a nonchalant shrug, but you scoff. "Shane." You say, your tone indicating you want to talk. You are so confused by him. You just want answers. Shane swallows hard and you see his muscles tense. He looks at you with sharp eyes but he doesn't say anything. You open your mouth to say something but instead you gasp. "Ow!" you exclaim as the hot oil starts to boil and a couple drops land on your skin. "Christ, it's too fucking early." You groan as you rub your arm. Shane lets out a breath that almost sounds of relief to you before going back to his eggs. You look at him before going to the bacon. He doesn't want to talk. He wants distractions. He wants to deny things. He wants you to stop talking about the past.

But why?

You sigh as you realize you are practically playing house with your ex-boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you leave.

--

He pulls out a pair of skinny jeans that look only a couple sizes bigger than yours, a belt, and a pretty, almost scene-like shirt, before allowing you into his bathroom to take a shower. After you get dressed and comb your messy wet hair, you go back to his room to get your shoes. Shane dashed into the bathroom once you got out and you suddenly get very bored. You wonder if you should just go to the living room and watch television, but then you remember that it's only seven and there is hardly anything good on right now. Sighing, you look around his room and realize that you didn't make the bed. You immediately go and make everything perfect, even fluffing the pillows and flattening the wrinkles. That's when you notice the frame on his nightstand along with a necklace. You practically stop breathing as you pick up the frame, showing an amazingly beautiful woman before fingering the necklace. Your fingers go down to what the necklace is holding and you gulp heavily.

His purity ring.

Shouldn't he have given that to someone? Like the one he gave his virginity to? "What are you doing?" you jump and turn to Shane. He is leaning against the doorway and the feeling of getting caught doing something wrong immediately hits you. You try to put down the frame right where it was and the necklace perfectly in place. He walks to you, tilting the frame to look away from the bed.

"Just wondering why you have your purity ring next to a picture of your mother, that's all." The innuendo clear in your voice, elbowing him annoyingly in his side. Your pathetic guilty smile drops when you see his mouth part slightly and his expression get super dark in seconds. His eyes burn at you when he turns to stare at you and you feel like at any second he will kill you. You shiver, looking down. "It was a joke. Sorry." You say, rolling your eyes at your shoes. He doesn't say anything but only glares harder. Suddenly, he shakes his head.

"Come on. I'll take you to school." He says in a very icy voice. You raise an eyebrow at him, scoffing slightly as he starts to walk out the door.

"It was a joke. Jesus." You roll your eyes again as you grab your purse and follow him out. You obviously feel bad but you don't know what else to say, and plus, he's practically out the front door by now. He goes down the stairs quickly, barely even allowing you to catch up. Sighing, you follow him, still thinking he is just a brat while also feeling guilty. The heels you wore yesterday to the café you realize now were a bad idea, considering the hell they are putting you through currently as you practically run to catch up to him. When you get outside, he is already slamming the door to his car. You run a hand through your wet hair before walking to the car and then entering it. His lips are set in a straight line as he immediately jets the car, not even waiting for you to put on your seatbelt. Rolling your eyes at his immaturity, you turn on his radio without asking.

"_Once in a lifetime, I could feel this way. Once in a lifetime, you could feel it too."_

You smile at the lyrics before realizing Anberlin's CD case is carelessly on laying on the cup-holders. You pick it up, reading the songs on the back. You tilt your head. "I love this song." You admit with a bite of your lips. You look to Shane when you notice he is ignoring you. He is still glaring as he drives, one arm leaning against the window allowing his head to be supported, the other on the wheel. He looks tense and angry, and for a second, you can see pain and hurt written on his face. "Shane." You breathe out softly. He doesn't look at you and you swear to God you see his eyes brighten with tears. "It was a joke. I didn't mean it to hurt you. I promise." You say in the same voice.

His cold, furious eyes look at you for a second. "Shut up." He whispers in the iciest voice you have ever heard. You instantly feel hurt and you feel your cheeks brighten with red. Your mouth parts as he shifts his eyes back to road. You feel tears prick at your eyes but you tell yourself not to cry. He's not worth it - him and his fucking craziness and asshole-ness. He could go die in hell if he wanted to. You don't need him. You look out the window, instead of looking at him, feeling like if there is a ball in your throat. For the rest of the ride, there is absolute silence - especially after the last song on the CD is played and the system turns off automatically.

When he stops at the entrance at your school, you don't even say goodbye as you slam his car door and walk away. You don't even look back. You just walk to your class, still telling yourself not to cry.

--

After class, you run into Amy in the computer lab. She is seating in the first row of computers and she doesn't even really notice you as you come in. When she absentmindedly looks up, you send her a wave. She smiles at you, her rainbow hair going in front of her bloodshot eyes as you walk to her. "So, I'm sorry for not texting or anything to tell you I wasn't staying in our room last night." You tell her awkwardly. You watch as she raises her eyebrows and then scrunches her nose.

"You didn't come last night?" she asks confused. You blink at her and suck in your breath sharply, before looking away from her to control your anger. "Oh. Where did you go then?" she says, shrugging as she looks back to the computer. You swallow down the bile rising up your throat and shake your head. Amy looks up, wiggling her eyebrows. "Get any sweet ass last night? You look like you need to get laid." She mocks you, clicking her tongue suggestively. You just stare at her - wondering what the fuck is wrong with girls nowadays. Because if a scientist wanted to know, they could just examine Amy to find out.

"Excuse me, but I need Mitchie." You feel a hand gently lay on your lower arm. You jump, mostly because you have been so freaked since yesterday even though you know whoever just talked was a girl. You look into the calm, nice eyes of Mandy, who gives you a sly smile. "I really need to talk to her." She says to Amy, the fakeness shining through completely. Amy blinks before shrugging. You and Mandy both roll your eyes before going to the back of the lab to sit and talk. You sigh as you throw your purse on the counter and she frowns.

"Harsh night?" she asks with a raised eyebrow. You freeze before shrugging.

"You can say that." You whisper, before putting your head in your hands. Mandy's eyebrows lower sympathetically and she puts a hand on your arm. "Why are guys such assholes?" you ask, your voice muffled by your hands. Mandy snickers slightly before shrugging.

"It's in their DNA?" she suggests as she takes out her books from her bookbag. Swallowing, you shake your head and lay your arms on the table so you can rest for a second. What if you run into Mark again at the end of school? How are you getting home? You wonder if you can ask Mandy, because Shane is certainly out of the picture. You scoff again. It was just a joke. You hate that he takes things so seriously, like it's the end of the world. You hate that he gets so mad at you for bullshit, while you are at least trying. Well, maybe you aren't trying and you have been stubborn and annoying, but he's an asshole. He's an asshole. "What are you doing?" Mandy asks amused as you start banging your head against the table.

"Trying to justify myself." You say honestly. Suddenly, you look up, facing her. Her eyes widen theatrically, teasing you but you ignore her. "Okay, say you make fun of a guy's mom just because it was an easy joke, right? And he gets epically mad at you. Is that fair? Cuz like people make yo mamma jokes and that's not what your mom said last night all the fucking time. So shouldn't he realize that you are just joking?" you say quickly. Mandy scrunches her nose, before sucking in her left cheek.

"Hmm." She says as she puts her last book on the counter. "Usually guys make those jokes, or if a girl makes them, they act all offended but just get back with the same kind of joke." She nods at herself and you scoff angrily and pointedly. She clears her throat and looks at her computer screen. "That is unless you're Shane Grey." She comments.

You groan. "Tell me about it." you sigh again, digging your head in your arms again. God, you feel so exhausted and just tired. You don't even notice Mandy staring at you with a parted mouth until a few seconds later. "What?" you ask confused, as you push your hair back. She bites her lip, slightly scandalized. She leans into you.

"You didn't make a mom joke to Shane Grey, did you?" she asks, her voice filled with shock. You lower your eyebrows and sit up, fear suddenly feeling you up inside. Your eyes widen as she gasps lightly before slapping a hand to her face. "Dude, it was all over the place like two years ago. I don't know if you lived under a rock or you just wanted to hurt him or you think that a joke like that can be innocent." She shakes her head. You furrow your eyebrows and she groans. "You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?" she asks. You shake your head slowly, sitting up fully in your seat. "Mitchie…" she says, her voice filled with humorless laughter. "His mother died from cervical cancer. It was everywhere." She tells you, furrowing her eyebrows as she tells you.

Instantly, you feel absolutely horrible, but you don't know how to react. You kind of just stare at Mandy confused. After you and Shane broke up, you vowed to yourself that you wouldn't waste your time with him. So, after that you didn't keep tabs. When you got to college, you had better things to do than go on TMZ or whatever. So, maybe you were living under a rock, but if you had known, you would have never ever done such a tactless, cruel joke. "Oh my God." You breathe out, before hitting the counter with your hands harshly. "Fuck!" you groan, burying your head in your arms again.

Shane spent all last night taking care of you. He gave you food. He gave you a place to take a shower, clothes, and even protection. He allowed you to cry on his shoulder and held you close for comfort.

And you make fun of his dead mother. "Mitchie, if you didn't know, just tell him. Explain that you didn't mean to be a jerk. You honestly didn't know." She tells you, putting a hand on her shoulder. You are hardly paying attention to her though. He told you he hadn't talked to Nate for four years and this past week has been the first communication. But his mother died two years ago. Didn't they talk then? Wouldn't they talk then? When everything falls apart, that's who you have - family, right? How could Shane - who cares if he thought his little brother fucked around with his girlfriend - do that to Nate?

"God, I messed up everything." You whisper. Mandy thinks you are talking about Shane and you - which you are slightly but not really - and continues giving you advice. But your head is stuck on the destroyed Grey family. You caused that, didn't you? You caused two brothers thick as thieves to stop talking- even after their mother died. You put your head back in your arms, hardly listening to Mandy.

You are such a mess.

--

When four o' clock comes along, you plan to just walk briskly home. You feel so low that you wouldn't even care if Mark did find you; you halfway think you deserve whatever he would do to you. Clutching your purse to your chest, you walk fast through the people, keeping an eye on who is around you. You really regret not asking Mandy, but you already felt like a total douche and you didn't want to be a bigger one. You jump loudly when you hear a horn and a car start. You turn around and freeze.

His eyes are calm but still empty as he nods you over. Your mouth parts as guilt and fear goes through you. "Fuck." You groan again but even with those emotions, the conflicting one of relief hits you just as hard. You walk much slower, but still quick enough, to the black sports car that is parked on the side of street. He unlocks the car just as you arrive at the door. You inhale and exhale deeply before opening the door and climbing in. When you close the door, you turn to look at him but don't say anything. He doesn't say anything either, and instead starts driving away from school. You gulp before running a hand through your hair, your breath shaky. "Shane." You choke out softly. He flickers his eyes at you before turning back to the road. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know and I was tired and I know that's no excuse, but I really honestly didn't mean to hurt you. It seems that's all we are doing nowadays. Hurting each other with words, with actions. Just we… need to start over, please." You say, biting your lip. He doesn't anything. "Shane, please. I'm so sorry." You apologize again.

He swallows softly. "Okay." Is the only thing he says. "What way do I go?" he asks as you get to a stop sign. "To your home?" he continues when you look at him confused. You open your mouth before letting swallowing harshly. You feel so horrible. You know you have to fix it. This time it's all on you. You reach over to put a couple fingers on his chin to make him look at you. Your hands fall to his chest, your fingers barely grazing him as you stare at each other for a couple of very long seconds.

"Look, why don't we go to your apartment? We could… I could cook dinner or something, and we can talk. We can just try to get everything that happened out in the open." You tell him, hardly even making sense. You notice he is shaking his head but you continue. "We could talk about Nate or your mom or whatever. Or we can go to Black Mamba and drink coffee or something." You say, your hands moving with your voice.

He closes his eyes. "Mitchie." He says, his tone stern. You stop, your mouth still open. "I'm in a relationship. I know I haven't been the best to Jade, but that doesn't mean she means nothing to me. I'm going on a date with Jade tonight, okay?" he talks to you like you a child, but his voice is completely resigned. He sounds completely exhausted and even a little hurt still. You feel something - disappointment, heartbreak, something - go through you as you sit back in the leather seat. You swallow back your emotions as he focuses on the road again, starting to drive somewhat. "What way do I take?" he asks again with a tightlipped smile.

**XXX**

**Hey, guys, thanks so much for the reviews! Like it means so much. I noticed a lot of you have mentioned that you have come from Teach Me Tonight, and you just didn't know if The Undeveloped Story would be good or not like TMT. I'm glad that you gave me another chance and you have decided to read it. Also, thanks for the birthday wishes. I had a great! B-day! Like it was super. We went to The Cheesecake Factory and we had cake. My mother gave me a Coach bag, candy, another purse, money. Sabrina gave me a Victoria's Secret hoodie, A Nick J Diabetic Dog-Tag, bracelets, CR pencils (LOL), and a mix tapes. My friend Vanessa gave me the Taylor Swift cd, as well a few other things. My brother gave me a hundred bucks, so that was nice. And I guess, also from my mom, is this tiny, tiny present in the form of…**

**Section 3, row 2 seats for Taylor Swift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

**So anyways, a few reminders:**

**Reminder ONE: Follow me on twitter - I'm Bbggoodd**

**Reminder TWO: Go read **_**Lost in Tranquility **_**by Smearedeyes - she wrote it as a birthday present and it's pretty fucking adorable. **

**Reminder THREE: Taylor Swift is fucking great. Loved SNL. Actually, this wasn't a reminder. I just like gushing about her. (Congrats to her for Entertainer of the Year by the way. She's pretty amazing). **

**So, again thanks for reading. Hope you liked it.**

**Love,**

**Sandy**

**PS - I know this is a long AN, but… see, I'm at home this weekend, and I'm supposed to be writing - and I will! But… I was wondering if any of you wanted me to go check out your stories and I'll review them. I'm not exactly famous or whatever, but you guys are so loyal to me and you like my things - I figured it would be nice to give back. [=**

**PPS- at 140?**


	6. Chapter 6

"**Someone please sing this lovesick melody. Call my name if you're afraid. I'm just a kiss away." Bruised and Scarred - Mayday Parade **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Six

It's on a Tuesday that everything - your plan rather - falls apart completely. You thought it would have been so easy to just succeed, especially considering how you are already in Berkeley, a nice school, but apparently New York University is pretty selective. They choose the best of the best and nothing else, and they choose them early. Almost a month into the semester however and with only a 3.75 GPA in college, New York University is just not interested, much less in you.

So that big plan to leave Berkeley University and go to NYU and be with people who love you and don't hate you is now classified as a Big Epic Fail. Of course, there other smaller colleges that could and would accept you but only after a semester to transfer your credits correctly, but you just aren't interested. You do not like to tell people this in fear of being called arrogant or annoying, but you just have too much pride in your work. You worked way too fucking hard in high school and then in college, and you promised yourself that all that work was going to be for something and that you would go to a top brand school - forgot the cost. You wanted to go to a school that you just have to whisper and people's eyes light up with recognition. You know that that's immature and pretty stupid because any college can give you a good education blah blah blah. You just want a good college - doesn't even have to be completely Ivy League. It just now cannot be Berkeley.

So what the fuck do you do?

It is two hours later that Mandy gives you a suggestion while you sit in computer twenty-three in the computer lab and she at twenty-two. "Why don't you go to UCLA?" she asks absentmindedly. "That way you could go and talk to the dean face to face and explain to him that Berkeley just isn't for you and maybe even mention Mark. Plus, they only started last week. We started much earlier." She continues before looking at you. Furrowing your eyebrows, you bite your lip in thought.

"What if they reject me?" you whisper softly. Your confidence really has been broken with that letter from NYU. "And I would have to move unless I commute almost seven hours every day which is you know - impossible." You point out, scrunching your nose. Mandy just shrugs her shoulders.

"So? The worst they can say is no, right? We can make it into a road trip this weekend. You don't have classes on Friday right? We could leave Thursday night or Friday morning. If they say no, oh well. Then we are back to where we are now, but at least you tried. And haven't you said that you hate your roommate and suitemates, right? We could look for an apartment or a dorm or something. There isn't much holding you back here, is there?" she points out, and you want to agree. Actually, you do agree. There's no one holding you back at all." I know you'll miss me cause I'm amazing but we can get together from time to time. Or maybe I'll go down with you to El Lay." She jokes as she looks back to the screen.

You sigh softly. "I think you should. We could be roommates." You tease back, but your voice is soft. Mandy smiles at you but you know she wouldn't leave. She knows what it would be to relocate herself across a state and she knows it would be hard. Plus, unlike you, she has other friends and happiness and no drama. She goes and drinks coffee and complains about her eye shadow never being at Victoria's Secret and does biology on Fridays with a grimace. She goes to watch Jade and smiles when Gabe smirks at her. She is a normal girl here. She belongs here. You don't.

"Maybe. I would have to beg my mother." She laughs, shaking her head. "I want to know how that conversation would go. 'Hey, Mother. Hi, I know I'm making you pay thousands in tuition because I want to go to B.U. so badly that I ignored a scholarship from UCLA, but now I want to go to UCLA again. Please?' Oh, that would be spectacular!" she says sarcastically, still laughing slightly.

"No, it's fine." Is all you say as you fake a laugh. You cannot wait to have that exact conversation with your mother. You know that's going be hell to explain to her, especially if you have to talk about Mark. Especially if you have to mention the other boy messing up your life. "Anyways, want to go see a movie tonight?" you ask with a renewed smile. You rather just deny and forget, then to mull over everything over and over again. It's a pretty amazing solution. Plus, even if you are leaving - hopefully - you still want an ally, not another enemy. Especially, if you do not leave. "We could get some coffee after if you want - at Starbucks?" you add that last part quickly.

Mandy scrunches her nose cutely. "Yes to the movie. Yes to the coffee, but no to the place. I hate that place so much with its consumerism and high prices. Let's go to Black Mamaba instead." She says, clearing her throat. You fake a smile and nod, but you know inside that you will not step foot in the place ever again. "Cool. Want a ride home?" she asks as you both log out of your accounts. You freeze and swallow softly before shaking your head.

"No, I have a ride. Thank you." You whisper as you start to leave the lab.

--

It has been a whole week - a whole seven days - since Mark followed you and you stayed over at Shane's apartment. It has been six days since Shane dropped you off without another word. It has been five days since Shane came to your small, loud apartment, bypassing your semi-bisexual suitemate and annoying roommate with a roll of his eyes, where he asked for your schedule to know when to drop you off and to pick you back up, hardly even saying anything at all. And ever since that, his car sits either in front of your apartment or at school, waiting for you to come out.

All in complete silence.

You see Shane's car right away, sitting patiently in the same place it always does. As you walk towards it, someone steps in front of you. Your eyes go wide as you look the person over. This time you record every aspect of him, making sure to remember his every features so you could give a description to the police if you had to. Blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, normal nose, a tattoo of a purple star on his forearm, about six feet, dark clothes, old white iPod clipped onto his jean pocket. "Hey, honey. Haven't seen you around lately." Mark says, smiling widely. He shows his teeth like a predator might to his prey. It scares you and makes you want to hide, but you aren't a child anymore. You are twenty years old and you have to act like an adult now.

That fact doesn't stop a cold sweat from sweeping through your body as you gulp. "What the hell is your problem?" you spit out, trying to be brave. You hate that that's all you've had to be in California. You are too used to New York where everything moves too fast for anyone to stop you, for anyone to care, for anyone to get into your business. You understand them, but Californians? Not at all.

His smile widens, and you have to admit, if it wasn't for the fact that he was absolutely creepy, he would be very attractive. "Nothing's my problem. Is it too weird to want to know someone, Mitchie?" you let an involuntary shiver out at your name and shake your head. "Exactly, it isn't." he continues, thinking the shake of your head was an answer. "I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. I just want to know you." His voice is considerably softer, but his arm snakes out and grabs yours. You gasp loudly and immediately go to pull your arm away, but he digs his fingers into your skin. "Why don't you like me, Mitchie?" now he is mocking you or something, but it doesn't sit well with you.

And you want him to let go of you so badly. "Please, don't touch me." You say darkly under your breath. He smirks.

"Why?" he says proudly, knowing you cannot do a thing. But he lets go of you, as he gasps and takes a step back.

That's when you see _him_, and suddenly, all that fear and anxiety leaves your body in seconds. You know it shouldn't be like that. Technically, he doesn't belong to you. Just because he used to be your boyfriend, doesn't mean he should make your heart beat this quickly now. But he does - and you just cannot help it. "Listen to me, buddy." His voice is so dark and angry, as he pushes Mark against the wall that's right besides you guys. Mark gasps again when his face is pushed into the bricks. "If you ever, ever go near Mitchie again, I promise you that you will not live to tell the tale. I promise you that I'll fuck you up so badly that you can never walk again, talk again, fuck again. I swear to you. Don't ever touch her again! Or it will be bad." His tone went from harsh to just cold and dangerous. The fear that has left you comes back momentarily, making you shiver again. "If I see you messing with her or following her or bothering her, trust me I will not ask questions first." Shane finishes, before pushing Mark's face harder into the bricks.

You look around, wondering why there aren't any people around. Isn't this a huge university? Why aren't there guards or someone - anyone?

You gasp loudly when Mark turns around and tries to punch Shane in the face, but Shane is quicker and older, more experience. He ducks before taking Mark's outstretched arm and pulling it, leaving Mark halfway leaning over allowing Shane to raise his leg and kick him hard in the ribs. Mark grunts in pain loudly as Shane pushes him hard against the brick wall. Mark tries to get another punch in but Shane is too swift. He punches the blonde boy hard in his face, as you shut your eyes tightly. Your heart is pumping quickly as you make yourself go in front of Shane, pulling his arms done with as much strength as you can muster.

Shane glares at you, still too into the fight to just back off. "Michelle, stay out of this." He hisses, before pushing you away a little too roughly, making you fall to the ground. Your hands scrape against the pavement as you realize why Shane pushed you away. You watch in horror as Mark tackles Shane - or where you just were. Shane falls harshly to the ground, almost hitting his head on a rail.

"Stop it!" you scream as Mark goes on top of him, going to punch him in the face. But once again, thankfully really, Shane is much stronger than him. He flips Mark over, punching the punches the blonde wanted to give. By the time, you go and grab Shane's wrist before letting it fall on his face again, the blonde's face is bloody and ripped up. Shane is breathing loudly as he gets out of your grip. You watch as Shane brings both of his hands around Mark's neck, tightening it immediately. "Shane!" you scream, completely surprised, but he ignores you.

You bet his fingers will leave a mark on Mark's neck as he squeeze. The blonde starts to gurgle as he tries to breathe. "If I ever see you bothering Mitchie ever again, I won't let go. I'll let you die, fucker." His voice is so cold and furious. He squeezes tightly once more, before abruptly letting go of his neck. He stands up as Mark groans and flips over, going on his knees and hands like a child. When Shane turns around and looks at you, his eyes are so sharp and angry - but his face is fine. He barely looks hurt, but you know he must have hit his back hard when Mark tackled him. Shane grabs your hand roughly as you look at Mark horrified, tears running down your face. You bring your hand up to your mouth to silence your sobs as Shane starts to pull you away from the scene.

After a while, you realize Shane is taking you to his car, which should make sense to you, but you just cannot even think. He puts his arm around your waist, bringing you close to his chest as you get to the sports car. Instead of going to his side, he stays with you and you notice that he is trying to calm you down. He pulls you into a hug and you feel him shaking just as hard against you. You cannot help your hands from going up his chest to pull him in a tight hug as he rubs his hands down and up your back to soothe you. His hand then goes up your back the back of your head, almost cupping it, as you start to cry into the nook of his chest. "It's okay. I promise you he will not bother you ever again." He says, but his voice cracks.

You think maybe he just realize what the fuck he just did.

--

When you get home, you curl up in your bed and just cry. You know Shane followed you upstairs but you didn't even look at him. You didn't even close the front door or your bedroom door behind you; you just ran to your room. Amy, thankfully, isn't there - because you are pretty sure if she was, she would be thoroughly freaked out by the hysterical you and the random used-to-be-famous-pop-star. You immediately go under the covers, still shaking so much. You hear Shane come in behind you, pausing at your dresser and just leaning against it. "I needed him to stop, Mitchie." He tries to justify himself, as he runs his hand through his hair, pulling harshly at the ends. "I didn't mean to scare you. C'mon, Mitch." He begs, coming to you. He drops to his knees besides your face as you squeeze the hell out of your pillow. "I'm so sorry. But I warned him! I told him to stop it. I told him there would be consequences." He says quickly, his voice choking. He shuffles to come closer to you, pushing your hair back as you hiccup softly. He tries to wipe away your tears but you look away from him, burying your face in your pillow. "Come on, baby." He whispers, bringing his hand down your back.

You just don't know what to say or how to act, so you just don't do either. He sighs and starts massaging your lower back with his left hand, bringing his right hand on the night table in order to keep his balance. His warm fingers inch under your shirt, putting pressure on your shivering skin. "Please, calm down." He begs again, coming closer. He takes his hand off the night table to push your hair back again, almost falling into the bed roughly. He sighs as he goes more comfortable so he doesn't fall before paying attention to you again. "You're the voice I hear inside my head. The reason that I'm singing. I need to find you. I gotta find you. You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me. I need to find you. I gotta find you." he sings in your ear. You know whenever he used to sing that back when you were younger made you calm and happy again because it made you all giddy, but not it just makes you cry harder. "Jesus Christ." He mutters, groaning as you start to shake harder.

Suddenly, he is turning your head to look at him. You fight against him; you don't want to see him. It would force you to make a move and that's the last thing you want. He groans again, trying again to move your chin over to look at him while making sure to not fall over. When he finally gets his way, you shut your eyes tightly, still squeezing your pillow. That's when you feel his lips on yours. You knew that he would do that. It's his progression - or at least it was when you were together. He would say nice soothing words to you and if that didn't work, he would rub your back, then trying singing, until he would finally kiss you. The horny seventeen year old figured it allowed your anger or whatever to be transferred to something "productive", but you know right now, he isn't looking for sex. He's looking for you to calm down, to stop crying, and to maybe stop thinking that he is going to hurt you like he did to Mark.

You gasp against his lips, as his hands goes up to your damp face, and you can tell he doesn't know whether to continue kissing you or pulling away. But here's the thing - just as he is used to kissing you to calm you down, you are used to getting kisses to get calmed down. You pull his hair harshly to pull him closer, deepening the kiss roughly as he brings his body up to meet your lips more comfortably. Your hands snake down to his waist, pulling up further. He moans softly in your mouth as he brings his body up towards the bed. His arms brace him so that he doesn't hurt you as he lowers half his body on yours.

And then, the two of you kiss until you cannot breathe anymore.

The two of you gasp loudly as he gets off you and goes to your right side so he is up against the wall. You cough slightly, sitting up and drawing your knees up as you wipe your face harshly. You feel his fingers press against your back again. "Mitchie." He voice is hoarse and he is obviously completely out of breath. You shake your head, lifting a hand to signal you don't want to hear him say a word as you get off the bed momentarily to grab the covers. You pull off your side but the covers don't go far since Shane is still laying on half the bed, so you send him a look. He quickly brings his body up to let the covers go from under him as you climb back into bed. Then, you just pull the covers over both of your heads, hiding for the world.

He closes his eyes before pulling your waist so that you are closer to him, putting one of his arms under the pillow you are sharing. You snuggle into his body before closing your eyes. You feel so exhausted, and because of the crying, you now have a headache. You do not have the time or the patience to even begin to understand what just happened. You just want the world to stop and for your headache to go away. You bury yourself deeper in Shane, breathing him in completely as you wrap your arms around his body as well. You close your eyes, and just let yourself be taken by sleep.

You never slept in his arms before. You were always too self aware and too _good_ to do so. You never even went close to the 'let's have sex' line. It's was all pretty PG for the both of you when you dated, so this feels new - but definitely not uncomfortable. Even though he just hit a man to prove a point, you really never have felt safer than right now - just under the covers, in his arms, with the lights never turned on.

**XXX**

**Hey, guys. I heard there was trouble with FF for the past week and reviews weren't going through. I want to thank those that tried time after time to post them. It means a lot. I didn't want to post this chapter until I knew FF worked, but since I honestly do not know, I didn't want to leave you hanging anymore.**

**I hope you liked this chapter. It's a dramatic one haha. Thanks for all the review.**

**Sandy**

**PS - 180? 200? Also, to Sabrina, thanks for betaing [= **


	7. Chapter 7

"**I can feel my mind wandering again into where I don't know, and will I ever get home? Time starts moving faster than I can. And I'm sick of this scene; I need to break the routine." Note To Self - From First To Last**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Seven

You wake up abruptly because of the buzzing of your phone, and you almost fall off the bed. In fact, you would have, but there was a strong arm holding you in place. You tense before remembering that it is Shane. You reach for your phone as quietly as you can without waking him up, as he snores very softly in the nook of your neck. You try not to move around too much as you open your phone. _"Hey, I'll be at your house in thirty, okay?_ _536 third ave right?_" the text reads. You furrow your eyebrows, trying to figure out what the text even means before looking at the sender. Mandy. Mandy's coming to your apartment in thirty minutes because…?

You gasp loudly, sitting up quickly - definitely waking up Shane. He moans gently, rubbing his head against the pillow, still half asleep. "Baby, come back to bed." He mutters, tightening his hold on your waist. You gasp lightly, forgetting Mandy and the movies and everything, as your breath gets stuck in your throat. Shane's eyes flutter open as you look at him. You watch as they try to distinguish you until they look confused and then slightly frozen. "Hi." He says, sitting up just as quickly as you had. The two of you stare at each other for a couple seconds before he realizes he is still holding you to his chest. "S-so, I should go." He stutters, suddenly climbing out from under the covers and off the bed.

"Okay." You whisper, drawing your knees up. He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck - obviously nervous. Finally, you can see the determination in his face as he moves forward. "I might see you tonight." You admit as he takes one step towards you. His eyebrows raise. You clear your throat. "Yeah, I'm going with a friend to see a movie. Actually, she will be here in like twenty minutes and I need to get dressed, but anyways… after the movie, we might stop at the Black Mamba, so if you are there because for some reason you are always there, I'll be there." You know you are going around in circles but you are a little weirded out as well.

He nods as he comes to the side of your bed again. You look up to meet his eye. "I'm gonna go then." He whispers, his voice slightly hoarse as you two maintain eye contact. You nod again, this time swallowing harshly. He seems to be debating with himself as his hand reaches forward and starts brushing your hair back. The look you suddenly get in your eye makes him wince. It's the _are we really gonna go down this road_ glance, but he ignores it. His hand cups the bottom side of your chin before making your head tilt up the farthest it can go, and then leaning down to meet your lips. He puts a small bit of pressure on them before alleviating it, and then reapplying pressure before pulling away slightly. His lips glide over to your cheek before kissing you there as well. "I'll talk to you later, Mitchie." He whispers before standing straight again.

You just nod.

It takes you ten minutes to unfreeze yourself from the bed, but once you do, you go straight to your closet. You quickly change into more suitable clothes to go out, and pretty soon, Mandy calls your cell, telling you she's outside.

--

You end up watching a hilarious movie that takes your mind right off Shane - mostly. You still cannot help but think of his lips on yours, of his body pressed up against you, and then of course the kicker, of the fact he has a girlfriend. You shouldn't be doing this. You are practically the other woman. "Mitchie." Mandy says, and you can tell by the tone of her voice, this wasn't the first time she said your name. You swallow and nod, before standing up and grabbing your garbage from the seats. Mandy smiles warmly. "Alright. So Black Mamba it is. I want a hot chocolate so badly. It's getting so cold." She shivers teasingly.

You laugh. "Please, it's like seventy. That's hot in New Jersey slash New York. Cold? Cold is twenty-five and having to go outside to shovel before the damn snow hardens into ice. Jesus. I hated that. That's why I wanted to move here." You finish with another laugh, shaking your head. "It's flipping cold. I want hot." You click your teeth at the 't' and she winces.

"Ahh, don't do that, bitch." She covers her ears dramatically, and you burst out laughing before doing it again. She glares at you playfully before pushing your shoulders. You just laugh again, as she rolls her eyes and links your arms. "So anyways, Ms. Torres, I want to tell you a secret." She says, resting her head on your shoulder. You snicker and nod at her. "I don't want you to leave. I like you and I think you fit in well. But I guess… with Mark, it will be impossible." She laments, looking away.

You clear your throat, remembering the scene. "You know I don't think Mark will be bothering me anymore." Is the only thing you say as you walk closer and closer to the Black Mamba. She looks at you confused, opening her mouth. You interject quickly. "Did you see Haley's performance last night at the AMA's? Man, I was like about to cry when she accepted her award. She's so pretty and talented and I love her." You giggle, gushing about one of your favorite artist. Mandy laughs at your cuteness before rolling your eyes. You two continue to prattle on and on about useless things as you get closer and closer to Black Mamba. The moment the door is at your reach, you begin to get second thoughts.

Shane is a roller coaster. He changes his mood depending on what's going on around him. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and every emotion is true. "Ready?" Mandy says when you don't continue walking. You swallow harshly and nod, going in first. The place is quiet with a few people here and there, but you aren't surprised. It's almost two in the morning. You are surprised they are even opened at this time. Maybe Shane isn't there. Technically, it's late and it isn't like he couldn't hang out in other place. Or, and here's a big one, just go home and go to sleep. Shane's not here. He won't be. You breathe in, trying to calm yourself down as you look around more closely at the people around, and exhale deeply when you notice not one of them is Shane Grey. "Want a booth?" Mandy says to you. You nod absentmindedly.

Why isn't Shane here?

Not that you are disappointed. Just, he's always here. "God, this is so fucking confusing." You mutter and Mandy looks at you strangely. You blush when you realize you said that out loud. "Sorry." You mumble, looking to your feet. Mandy just laughs, shaking her head at your strangeness. You follow her to one of the less bright booths as you see the waitress you recognize as Sabrina come over. She gives you a kind smile before casually handing you both menus. "Thanks, but we know already?" you question, looking at your friend expectantly. She nods, yawning slightly. "Can I get a small apple cider with a blueberry muffin?" You ask politely.

Mandy scrunches her nose. "Okay, health freak." She teases before looking at the menu briefly. "Can I have hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate little scrapings things? And a glazed donut." You are laughing at her enthusiasm by the end of it. Honestly, she is one of those people who you just do not understand where it all goes. Really, looking at her more closely, she is so pretty - but different. Good different. She has deep dyed red and orange hair with a cute little nose ring she almost always complains about but loves a lot. She is cute and funky, sarcastic and nice, tiny and sweet. She actually looks like the lead singer of one of your favorite bands which just makes you laugh. "Oh! Can I get a strawberry covered donut instead?" she asks, still smiling brightly. Sabrina laughs and nods, writing it down.

You just shake your head after Sabrina leaves. "Are you not planning on sleeping tonight?" you taunt, smirking slightly.

She shakes her head, clicking her tongue. "Nah, B. I have a five page paper that is only half done. I'm staying up all night." She waves you off, spreading her legs on the booth. You roll your eyes and nod. Absentmindedly, you look around the café again, maybe looking for a pop-star, maybe not. All you see is that the owner is here - you assume from the fact that the door that has OWNER stamped to it is ajar with light coming out the door. You wonder who owns this place and why they let Shane park in his parking spot. Maybe it's a family member. You smile when you think of Brown. You really do miss Camp Rock; it was a good experience once upon a time. "So, how do you feel about Twilight? The trailer looked good." she jokes, folding her hands to look professional.

You giggle and go to answer, but you see her freeze. Her eyes widen and you go to ask, forgetting your response - just as someone slides in next to you. You inhale sharply as an arm snakes behind your head, sitting close to your body so your legs touch and your shoulder is pressed into his chest. "I think it's a waste of time and the only reason it's doing well is because of over enthusiastic teenagers who want to sleep with either the main guy or the illegal one." Is what you hear just as Sabrina sets down your food and drinks. She throws another smile your way before going off behind the counter.

Mandy ignores the drinks and food, and instead, sits up, her hands still clasp. "Maybe. But wasn't that your main selling point? Loving teens that wanted to sleep with you or your little brother? Isn't that just a marketing tool?" she calls him out. You are still completely frozen, however, as Shane smirks. You can feel him move against you and you realize he is stealing your muffin, plopping a piece into his mouth.

"I never said it didn't work. I'm living proof it does and…" he tilts his head. "That it doesn't. I'm Shane by the way, but you know that." He smiles a bit smugly. Mandy laughs and nods her head reluctantly.

"Mandy Phillips. Nice to meet you, Backstreet Boy." You watch quietly as they shake hands, Shane rolling his eyes. He goes back to take another piece of your muffin, but you slap his hand away. Both Shane and Mandy look at you surprised, and you pout at them before taking your muffin away from Shane. "Don't steal her pastry, Shane Grey or she attacks." Mandy provides calmly as Shane blinks at her. You still don't say anything as you take off a piece of the blueberry top before putting it in your mouth. You don't know how to feel right now; which is pretty much how you always feel around Shane. You don't know where you guys stand and it's driving you absolutely insane.

Suddenly, Shane laughs. "Once I stole a cupcake from the batch she was baking and I got yelled for being an insensitive jerk." And then he makes a bewildered face. "She was also bathed in flour so who knows what was going through her head." He smirks, flicking the side of it. You swat him away again before shuffling and frowning.

"He was complaining about his non-existent allergies. And plus, the cupcakes were for the kids. And another thing, you were an insensitive jerk." You point out, elbowing him in the side. He laughs and moves closer to you, pressing his side up against yours. "Anyways, I happen to like Twilight or I least I like the books. I'm not much for either of the mains, although the younger one is quite cute, but the books are a good read. It sucks that the franchise has turned into a major sell-out, but I mean, sometimes it's nice to hide out in movies or books - even if half the world is doing it with you." You explain, almost confusing yourself. Mandy looks at you strangely.

"Babe. You are weird." She says, completely seriously, although you see a small smile behind it. She yawns again, putting her hand awkwardly in front of her mouth. "Excuse me." She says tiredly before getting out of the booth. "Where's the bathroom?" she asks, looking around the place. Shane straightens himself and points to the far end corner where a little hallway is. Mandy nods and turns around, halfway doing a twirl as she goes. Shane smirks and you just shake your head, a threat of a smile on your face. The second she leaves, you feel the apprehension come back to you. You can feel the fear of being alone with Shane. Of this impending disaster you know will come.

Shane moves closer to you with the same smirk, as he turns his head to face you. "You're in a good mood today." You comment calmly. You try not to let any of the emotions you are feeling come up to surface when you speak to him, and internally you wonder if he can see through that. When he shrugs and throws you another smile, you realize he has no idea how you are feeling. His black hair falls in front of his face as leans towards you. "Shane." You gasp when he nuzzles his cheek against yours, his lips softly pressing against your skin. He trails his mouth on it, trying to reach your mouth but you move away, looking down. He blinks and leans back, almost offended. You shake your head, anger going through you. "How's Jade, Shane?" you ask sharply. You watch his smile really fade as he scoffs under his breath. "Jesus, Shane. It's not fair what you are doing, and you have a hell of a lot of balls to do something to someone when it broke your heart when you thought it had happened to you." You hiss, shaking your head.

He removes his arm from behind you, his mouth set in a straight line. He looks away from you, a slight glare coming onto his face. You sigh, closing your eyes before leaning back into the booth.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" you voice cracks as you speak. "I'm so sorry but I'm scared." You whisper so softly under your breath. He looks back at you at that, his eyes bright.

"And you think I'm not?" he whispers just as gently. He swallows, his eyes portraying his confusion. "All of a sudden, you are thrusted back into my life. God, I hated you Mitchie for all this time, only to find out you were innocent all along and it was own fucking fault. Like… I don't know how to feel right now, but all I know, is that even when I hated you, even when I made myself forget, I never stopped missing you. Yeah, maybe I threw darts at your pictures, but I had pictures. I missed your face, honey. I missed you so much. I hated you." He repeats again, shaking his head. "And I hated Nate, but I missed him too. I didn't talk to him for four years, except for a period two years ago - which consisted of a week of grunts and single words and then nothing. But that doesn't mean that I don't miss him. I love him. I loved you. And now, you are both coming back to my life at the same fucking time and it feels like old times, especially with earlier in bed, but it's not and I don't know how to fucking feel." He rambles, his cheeks turning rosy.

He always rambles when he's upset. You used to think it was funny. Now, you just want him to stop talking before he kills you.

"Shane, please don't do this." You whisper, swallowing slightly. He looks at you, eyes vulnerable. "I know it hurts and I know you are confused because so am I. I don't know what to do either. And this morning!" you suddenly burst. "What the fuck was that? You cannot just jump someone because he pisses you off." You scold him loudly. You know Mark was dangerous, but Shane shouldn't have done that.

Violence does not beat violence. Ever.

He gets angry at that. His eyes light up. "Are you fucking kidding me, Michelle? He was going to hurt you." He argues, but you shake your head and look away. You gasp when you feel his fingers grip your chin and make you look at him. "Should I have waited until you were raped or murdered? You wanted to be safe. I made that possible." He lets go of your chin, sighing. He brings his hand to his hair, pushing it back. "Jesus Christ, Mitchie. I was just trying to protect you." He mumbles, bringing his arm behind you again so that his elbow is near you head. He brings up his hand to lean his head on it, so he's close to you again. "That's all I wanted to do. I didn't want to scare you. I just wanted to protect you." He whispers before exhaling.

Suddenly, he is moving away from you, a smile back on his face. "Hey, did the toilet eat you?" he jokes to Mandy who rolls her eyes. You uncomfortably shuffle and throw your friend a false smile. Words are at the tip of your tongue towards Shane, but you cannot say them with Mandy right there. You wish you could just convey to him clearly that you do not need a protector anymore. You are an adult, not a child. But you know he wouldn't listen. Mandy yawns, drinking her hot chocolate before taking a bite of donut. "You go to Berkeley with Mitchie, right?" he asks, his arm still behind your head. Mandy nods, trying not to choke on her food. Shane smirks and shakes his head. "What's your major?" he asks amicably.

"Criminal justice." She says in the same rehearsed answer all college students give when asked about their majors. "What about you, Backstreet Boy? Still doing music?" she asks the question you have been dying to ask since you saw him. You freeze when you feel Shane's fingers start playing with the strands of your hair that is closer to him. You bet, to anyone looking in, you look like a couple - and that kills you. Seriously, Shane Grey is killing you softly right now. Shane tenses for a different reason, probably due to the question. You sneak a glance to him, catching the look of pain and hurt that flashes through his chocolate eyes before he fakes a smile again.

"Well, besides managing Black Mamba, I'm just helping Jade with her music." He answers. You flinch inwardly at her name, swallowing the bile that rises because of it. It takes you about three seconds to actually process the rest of his sentence, and when you do, you gasp and whip your head towards him.

"This café is yours?" you ask way too loudly for the early hours of the AM. Both Shane and Mandy look at you with wide eyes, until Shane shakes his head with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and continues playing with your hair. He turns back to Mandy and continues to talk to her about random things as you think. It obviously makes sense now - as to why he is always here. He owns it. He's the person who was in the office. It's why he gets to park in the Owner's spot. "Jesus." You mutter under your breath at your stupidity. Again, both people with you look at you strangely. You groan and put your head on the table. "I didn't get enough sleep last night." Your voice is muffled but you know they understand you, especially after you groaned. Shane's hand slips from where it is to rub your back, applying pressure on the skin to calm you down.

You suppress another groan or moan or something as he massages you. "Damn." Mandy suddenly says. You look up to see what she's talking about and see her staring at her Blackberry. She sighs, looking up. "Franny left her keys in the apartment. I need to open the door as soon as possible." She looks at you sheepishly, sending Shane an embarrassed glance. "You mind if we leave now so she isn't in the non-existent-to-you cold?" she pouts dramatically for effect and it makes you laugh for five seconds, until you remember that Shane is besides you. That just makes you want to throw up. You sit up, Shane's fingers getting slightly crushed as you quickly slam your back towards the booth. He hisses as he removes his hand and you smile brightly at Mandy. "Sure, kid. Let's go."

"I'll take her." Shane says, his voice even although you hear the annoyance. That dampens your spirits. You don't want to be alone with him again. You try to send Mandy a look, but she's biting her lip, looking at Shane. "That way you can go straight to your apartment and your roommate isn't out for long. It's dangerous after hours." He advises, and you tense slightly at that. Mandy looks at you for confirmation and as much as you do not want to be alone with Shane, you do not want Mandy to get hurt either. _"Go." _You mouth to her. She smiles and goes to hug you tightly, before smiling at Shane. "Nice talking with you." He says politely, putting his arm behind you to be able to shake her hand.

"You too, Backstreet Boy." She laughs, shaking his hand. "I'll see you in school, Mitch." Mandy says before waving and walking away. The second she disappears, Shane lets his hand fall so it's on your shoulder casually as he reaches over with his other hand and grabs more of your muffin.

"Why didn't you tell me you owned this café?" you ask, looking at him. Shane gives you a small smile but doesn't say anything. "Jerk." You mutter, rolling your eyes. You try not to focus too much on his smell, but it's making you warm inside. You need to get away from him before you explode or start crying or something. "Hey, let me see your office." You say, pushing off the table. He sighs as his hand trails down your back before standing up as well. You walk in silence to his office, trying to stay away from his touch by walking quickly. You push open the door, barely noticing anything but the size of the small room. It's pretty empty with only the necessities like a computer and a desk with two chairs.

You gasp just as Shane presses his fingers into your back to make you look towards the chairs. "Shane." You whisper as he swallows softly.

He sighs softly. "I made her give it back. She stole it from me actually. When I called her on it, she started crying and pretty much told me she couldn't afford a new guitar and she thought I wouldn't have even notice if one of the many guitars I own would disappear." He tells you as you walk towards the chair. On the cushion is the red instrument that once meant so much to you once upon a time. You feel tears start prickling in your eyes as your fingers reach to touch the wood. He goes over to you, leaning against the space of the desk and chairs. "You can have it if you want." He tells you softly. You nod, not even looking at him. "I have the guitar case over here." He whispers as he reaches over and grabs the black case and puts it on the desk. You gingerly pick up the guitar, your fingers gliding over the back. You close your eyes when you feel the carving of your initials as he grabs the guitar from you.

He sets it in the case before closing it. "Thanks Shane." You breathe out and he just nods. He goes to say more but he gets cut off by Sabrina. She give you both a sheepish look as she enters the room hesitantly, knocking softly on the open door. Shane forces a smile at her. "What's up?" he asks, raising his eyebrow.

"Some of the numbers don't match up. Stacey needs your help." She says, biting the inside of her lip. Shane sighs but gets off the table, sending you an apologetic look. You look down instead of answering, your fingers grazing the black case softly. You feel so awkward being in that office alone, feeling all sentiment and emotional, just feeling a case up. You look away from it, trying to stop the tears from coming and your eyes go to a little clipboard Shane has thrown carelessly on his table. It takes you a while to discern what the paper on top says because of the blurriness of your eyes, but after a while you realize what it says. Your breath gets caught in your throat as you look at Shane's loopy handwriting. You stare at it for at least a minute, not knowing what to do with this information. Actually, it just makes you sadder.

Swallowing harshly, you pull out your cell phone and type in Nate Grey's cell phone number before pressing save.

**XXX**

**Hey guys. Thanks for reading. It means a lot. Have a happy thanksgiving if you celebrate it. I hope you all have good health and all and don't get into too many family brawls this Thursday haha. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review. It lets me know that you like it and want more. If I just see view counts, I think that you are just reading and then rolling your eyes and going to the next ff haha. **

**Anyways, I saw New Moon. Thought it was much better than twilight and actually…. It made me want to write a Twilight FF, but Sabrina is all against it. So… let me ask you guys. Me writing a Twilight ff - too weird?**

**Love you guys.**

**Please review. (200ish) **

**Sandra **


	8. Chapter 8

"**And she says "So how did I end up so deeply involved in the very existence I planned on avoiding?" And I can't answer." Driving Your Girlfriend Home - Morrissey **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Eight

You sigh softly, taking out a cigarette and putting it to your lips. She is sitting tensely in the leather seat, her head against the window as light rain falls. You lower the window a bit so that the drops can freshen up your face and so you can drop the ashes from the stick. "Mitchie, you okay?" you ask, your voice breaking the silence. You at a stop sign so you take the gamble and look at her, and then really regret it. You just sigh again and look forward. Her chocolate eyes look at you with sadness and confusion. You know it is strange - this relationship thing you two have going on. Actually, it's barely a relationship and it couldn't be even classified as friends with benefits because you aren't even friends. And you have only kissed twice since you have seen her.

You phone vibrates in your pocket, making you close your eyes for half a second. You know it is Jade. You know she wants to talk and apologize and basically beg for you to forgive her for the guitar. "I think we should talk. Are you free tonight?" she asks, while putting her fingers over the red lighted time. It's about to be three in the morning, and you wonder internally what the hell she thinks you have to do in the early hours of the morning that could possibly make you busy. Then again, she doesn't know you and Jade are currently not speaking. "I mean, we need to move passed this." She explains further, brushing her brown and red hair back.

You always loved that shade on her - and any woman until everything went down. You remember the first time you saw Jade. The label had long ago left you and your brothers, and she was trying so hard to get your attention. She was pretty in the messy sort of way. She wore too much makeup, had too many tattoos, and dyed her hair too often, but she was absolutely beautiful to you. She mirrored your fear and pain and loneliness. She allowed you to feel - and to feel something other than betrayal and sadness. That's why you want her around. Not because you love her body or because you love her voice or because you love her, but because she allows you just be without any judgment. "Sure, Mitchie." You whisper to her as her apartment building comes into view. "I'm tired of fighting." You tell her honestly.

Because that's what you two have been doing - fighting and fighting. Maybe not so much with each other anymore, but there's still the fighting in your hearts. You used to love her. That's not a secret at all, but she lied. She lied about who she was, about how she felt - and when you forgave her, you promised yourself you would never let her betray you again. So when Tess told you that she saw Mitchie and Nate making out in the back cabin, you believed her. You just didn't say anything until an article came out in People magazine - asking if _Nate Stole His Older Brother, Shane's Girlfriend_ and promising pictures to answer that question inside.

Even now, you wonder what would have happened if you actually had opened the magazine and looked at the pictures back then.

As you park the car, you cannot help but think back to when you and Mitchie were arguing in the park when you were with Francesca. You couldn't stop yourself from reaching over and kissing her, faking a moan, all while looking Mitchie straight in the eyes. Why did you do it? You still do not know, especially considering that was the first time you had cheated on Jade. All you knew was that you wanted to hurt her, and you had seen the attraction in Mitchie's eyes. You knew she was still into you, but you confused lust for wanting you to get ahead. You could not trust her, and even now, you still do not really trust her. So, you do not know why you thought maybe she was telling the truth when she told you the media twisted her and Nate's interaction. But you had too much pride, too much anger, to ask her what she meant, if she could explain. You told her to stay away from you because you didn't want to think about her or Nate. You wanted to shield yourself from them and just go back to Jade and sleep with her and forget everything. You just wanted peace. That's all you ever wanted.

You still get chills when you think about how Mitchie whispered "Fuck you." You still think about the way she twirled around and left you with confidence and fury. She wasn't the scared little shy girl anymore. She is a woman - that knows how to act and how to get things. She is stable and well behaved. She is everything Jade isn't. Or rather Jade is everything Mitchie wasn't.

"Shane?" you jump slightly, your eyes widening as Mitchie puts a delicate hand on yours to shake you out of your thoughts. You blink at her and you just cannot help your eyes from sweeping all over her. You think you might be actually falling for her again, but you truly do not know. After so many years of hating her, of secretly wanting her to be around just so you could hurt her again, it's hard to just forget. But you are trying so hard. It's why you pick her up at school, why you protect her from Mark - besides that she actually needs that. It's why you tried hard with her best friend, so that you can make a good impression. So Mandy will encourage Mitchie to hang out with you because you need answers and you need to talk. So, that maybe you can forget all the hatred in your heart and realize that this is the same girl who used to sing softly in the mirror. "Are you okay?" she throws back your words. You swallow softly before raising your fingers to her chin. You press on her skin to get her to look at you and you just stare into her eyes. "Shane." She whispers, moving her head to the side when you lean in to touch her lips.

You bite your lip and unbuckle your seatbelt as she looks down to her lap. Your fingers are still on her chin and you glide your hand up to cradle her cheek gently in order to turn her face again. "Baby." You whisper so softly before leaning in again. This time, she stays still, closing her eyes. You rub your nose against hers for a second before connecting your lips. You just press them together lightly before pulling away. You rub her nose again before kissing her once more. You suck in her bottom lip, tasting her sweet taste before gasping for more. Your hands shoot out in front of your, darting for her waist in order to pull her closer and for you to push yourself out of your seat. You try to deepen the kiss, passionately going at her, as her hands go to your chest. She squirms against you before pushing you off roughly.

"Will you fucking stop it!" she screams at you, as you gasp at her strength. Her eyes are bright as you find them, and she looks actually pretty furious. You watch as her eyes lighten up with tears as she breathes out angrily. You open your mouth, lowering your eyebrows, but she ignores you. "Jesus! It's already confusing enough for me without you trying to shove your tongue down my damn throat." She continues to yell, hitting her hand against the dashboard. You feel a wave of hurt go through you, so you look away from her. You know she noticed that way your body tensed, the way your eyes darkened, the way your anger escalated. "So, can we fucking talk for five minutes before we go back to making out because you and me are just too fucking used to it?" she asks, her voice obviously filled with angry tears.

"Whatever." You mutter darkly.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see her eyes flash with something. "And do me a favor and stop acting like a two year old that has had a toy taken away. You want to go make out with someone, fuck someone, go to your girlfriend." She tells you, hissing slightly. You glare at the windshield, not saying a word. She sighs shakily, obviously lightly crying. "I'm sorry." She says before quickly continuing. "But I'm leaving. I'm leaving this damn state and…" she trails off, her voice so husky. You turn to look at her finally, watching her as closes her eyes and leans against the dashboard. "I have to leave." She whispers softly, her voice breaking.

You shake your head, scoffing slightly under your breath. "So, you are running away from your problems?" you say pointedly, raising your eyebrow. Mitchie winces and she gives you a look that you immediately recognize. She is tired of fighting - literally tired of screaming. You shake your head and open your door abruptly. The drizzle slightly hits at your skin as you take another drag of your cigarette. As you walk to the other side of the car, she is already out, leaning against the car door with her head in her hands. You sigh as you grab her wrist softly to pull her with you but she stays strong, not budging. "Mitchie." You breathe out, feeling bad. "I'm sorry, okay?' you whisper, brushing her brown hair back. When she meets your eyes, you take your hand away. "I'll stop kissing you. We'll have a legit conversation and I'll stop. I will just stop." You swallow down the bile that you can feel coming up your throat.

She runs a hand through her hair, trying to wipe her eyes subtly. "Why are you so infamous for leaving me such a fucking mess?" she whispers, looking up with closed eyes. You watch as the rain comes down on her pale face, dripping like tears. You bring your fingers back up, all promises and anger forgotten momentarily as your finger goes to her full lips. She doesn't even protest anymore as you flicker her bottom lip with your thumb. You breathe out and with all the strength you can muster, you step away from her. She watches you with sad eyes.

"Let's go talk, okay?" you tell her softly, sticking your hand out for her to grab. She stares at you for a couple seconds before stepping forward to interlace your fingers. It takes all of your strength to not push her up against your car and let the rain on the window soak through the back of her shirt as you kiss her. You really just want to kiss her. You don't know how you feel and you don't know what you want relationship wise. All you know is that you want to kiss her and drink her in completely. This afternoon - or yesterday afternoon rather - when you were just in bed, kissing and holding each other with no words for any reason - you missed that.

--

You follow her up the stairs, watching as she shakily holds on to the dirty rail. You have only been to her apartment twice before, and the first is after realizing you didn't have her schedule to know when to pick her up. So, even though you were still hurt and obviously angry at her ignorance and comments, you knew you had to protect her from him - so you came to her. She was surprised and obviously embarrassed because of her surroundings and roommates. You just shook your head, took the paper, left and didn't bother looking around. The second of course was yesterday when you followed her upstairs in a hurry. You were so scared of what you did and how she would respond. You just wanted to know that she wouldn't do something because of it - whatever that something would have been. Again, you didn't bother looking around. You were there for her - not her materials or roommates or living style. Now, however, you are going back to her place and you are nervous as to what you will find. You have no idea what she is like anymore. You do not know what music she listens to. You do not know her favorite shows or actors or movies or anything. You know what the sixteen year old version liked, but not of the woman standing in front of you.

She stops at the door before turning around. "So, it's three am and I have no idea if Amy's in or not. So, I'll check." She says, shuffling slightly, almost as if she doesn't want to talk anymore. You can see she is starting to regret ever mentioning talking at all. "If she's not there, we can talk, but if she is…" she trails off, shrugging her shoulders.

You lean your arm on the door, so that you practically trap her. "Then you will grab clothes and we'll go to my apartment." You say sternly. Honestly, you are tired of this bullshit, and you can tell she is too. So, why is she backing out now? Is she nervous? Or scared?

She blinks at you, bracing her shoulders. "Or we can talk tomorrow." She says with a slight bit of attitude.

"Or tonight." You say with the same amount of attitude, although with more authority. She frowns and crosses her arms, tilting her head at you with a huff. "Mitchie." Your say warningly, bringing your hand to the door to trap her. "Are you scared or something, because I distinctly remember you were the one who invited me up here." You say pointedly, looking her straight in the eyes. You watch as her cheeks turn a light pink and she opens to her mouth to explain, but someone cuts her off.

You just raise your eyebrow before turning to your right. "Well, someone's gonna get laid. Want me to disappear?" a girl with multicolored hair says, her voice filled with a sexual undertone. Mitchie's eyes widen as she looks at her appalled. Suddenly, the chick is making eye contact with you, winking at you. "Unless you want me to join?" she asks, still looking straight at you although she tries to bump hips with Mitchie. You watch as the brown haired girl gets so angry and you bite your lip and shake your head at the flirting. The girl finally looks at Mitchie, after seemingly pleased at devouring you with her eyes.

Your eyes widen as finally for the first time since she came, Mitchie turns her anger to someone else. "Are you fucking kidding me?" she hisses under her breath. She doesn't even really look that embarrassed - just pissed. "Who the hell do you think you are talking to me that way - talking to Shane that way? You really need to start having some class before you screw so much that you are screwed forever." Her eyes flash with anger as the girl's mouth parts in shock. She scoffs under her breath before clicking her tongue.

"Jealous?" you slip out before you can stop yourself. Mitchie gives you a cold glare as Trashy laughs and snorts. You wrinkle your nose as Mitchie starts to turn red with anger and embarrassment. "Don't be. I don't go for white trash, remember?" you say disgusted, as you give the girl a once over. Her eyes widen with hurt as she wraps her arms around her waist but tries to play it off by pretending to cross her arms. "Sweetie, take off all that makeup. Wear some proper clothes and at least pretend that you are a lady. Trust me, no man looks at you and thinks that you a catch - just an easy lay." You halfway scold her. You never liked it when girls did that - dressed slutty and just so ugly. You remember, Las Vegas would always be the worse back when you would perform.

You see the outrage on Trashy's face as Mitchie's eyes widen with shock. And then, you see it. The recognition is her eyes. "You're the lead singer of that band - from a million years ago that made all those twelve year olds wet their underwear. The breakout artists of the century supposedly." Suddenly, her face turns smug. She steps forward. "It's funny how the decade hasn't finished yet, and I can't even remember your band's name - just that you used to be on every J-14 magazine." She spits out, stomping her foot. "So take your stupid preaching Christianity somewhere else and I'll pretend that you weren't some whore that actually deflowered a bunch of girls back stage and then blackmailed them in shutting up." She crosses her arms as you click your tongue. You roll your eyes at her obviously.

"Funny how I've been around the world and I've deflowered so many girls…" You respond sarcastically and a smile. "Yet out of the two of us, you are most like to be the one with an STD." you finished. She scoffs again, her eyes lighting up with anger.

"Asshole." She glares at you before looking at Mitchie. "I'm going back out. You can have the room." She says as she walks away. She looks at the both of you disgusted. "Hypocrites." She spits out before laughing and looking at Mitchie. "Hey, don't get pregnant. Mr. Christianity might not believe in condoms." She calls over her shoulder as she goes back down. You roll your eyes again.

"Opposed to the frat boy you're gonna sleep with in thirty minutes?" you yell as she goes down the stairs. She gives you one last glare before disappearing. You smirk and look back at Mitchie. Her brown eyes are still opened with shock as her mouth parts. You see her cheeks are still red and you sigh. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you." You mumble, swallowing slightly.

She shakes her head. "That's my roommate, Shane. I have to live with her." She talks to you like you are a child. You just roll your eyes and push past her. You try to remember what room was hers and finally just go to the right, opening the door. "I'm serious, Shane." She calls at you, closing the front door behind her. She follows you as you step into her room, and you raise your eyebrow when you feel her small hand grab your wrist. You turn to look at her and see that she is still very mad at you. "Do you know what you just did?" she snaps at you.

You cross your arms, freeing your hand. "Please." You say haughtily. You smile at her. "I did what you have been dying to do since you met her. I bet you every day you have a screaming match in your head with her. I just had enough balls to actually do it." you point out as she shakes her head.

"I still have to live with her, Shane." She says, pushing past you this time. She sighs as she takes off her light jacket. You lean against the wall and shake your head.

"Move out."

She whips her head towards you. "Oh, yeah? Where am I supposed to go? Huh?" she says sarcastically. Suddenly, she opens her mouth, mocking a gasp. "Oh wait? How about New York? Oh wait, I wasn't accepted there. Okay, then I'm screwed. How about UCLA? Oh wait, it's a seven hour drive and I don't have anyone there that I can talk to about an apartment." She is freaking out now and you know that. You frown at her, closing the door before going towards her. She takes a step back, lifting a finger. "Don't." she stops you mid-step. "All you are gonna do is kiss me again and make me a zillion times more confused." Mitchie gulps slightly before going to her bed, walking backwards to keep an eye on you. When she talks again, she sounds so vulnerable. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what? Kissing you?" you whisper, your voice cracking slightly. You do not know how to even act. You are surprised by her outburst and then by her vulnerability. She swallows harshly before nodding. "Honestly, I don't know." You say and it is honest. You really do not know why you kiss her. It some sort of mixture of missing her, being used to it, thinking she's attractive and just… wanting to kiss her.

She closes her eyes. "Do you like me?" she whispers before opening her eyes again.

You are struck by how pure she is. Her eyes just shine with innocence and confusion. Do you like her? Again, you don't know. Sometimes, you cannot even stand her. She's changed a lot since you dated a million years ago. She's bolder and angrier. She's doesn't take bullshit like she used to. And…

There are probably more things that are different, but again, you honestly do not know enough of her to even begin thinking how different she is. All you know is that she is not a little girl anymore. Do you like her? You don't even know her. "What are we? Twelve?" you avoid the question, scoffing slightly under your breath.

She sighs, her shoulders sagging before throwing herself backwards on the bed. She runs her hands through her silky hair, gripping her fingers and almost pulling her strands. "Jesus, you just can't answer a single question, can you?" she says, her arm muffling her voice. You roll your eyes, looking at her body. You love the way that shirts fits her, the way her pants clings at her thighs, the way her heels beg to be taken off.

"Do you like me?" you ask back, your eyes fluttering back up to meet hers. You make sure to ask it mockingly, but you know in your heart, it's a legitimate question.

She snorts. "At the moment? No. I think you're an asshole. Actually, I pretty much hate you." She says, sitting back up to kick off those heels. _For some reason,_ that really hurts you. You scoff softly under your breath and cross your arms. She closes her eyes and brings her legs up to the bed to hug her knees. "Sorry." She whispers, squirming slightly. "Look." she says, her voice with renewed sternness. "Let's just throw some stuff out - I didn't cheat on you four years ago. Nate and me were never making out or fucking or whatever it is Tess told you. We were just talking about random shit when she came in. She was still peeved I guess about not winning Final Jam or her mother or whatever. She just wanted to break us up and she did. You believed her - which, you know, sucks because I loved you. And you knew that." She says accusingly.

You swallow, looking away from her. "I was tired, okay." You say softly. You know she must have sent you a strange look because she didn't say anything. "I was tired of trying to figure out if you were lying to me or not. I was tired of our label. I was tired of Tess and that damn camp. I just took the easy way out and didn't care who I hurt because in my book - you all screwed me over first." You admit, running a hand through your hair.

She sighs forcefully. "So, it was better to listen to her than to talk to me?" she asks, almost hurt. You look at her and shrug. She closes her eyes again. "I didn't cheat on you, Shane." She repeats, just as your phone vibrates in your pocket. You curse Jade in your head, rolling your eyes. "I would never." Her voice breaks. You frown but notice in the back of your head that you phone only vibrated once, so it was only a text. "I never wanted to hurt you. I really did love you." She tells you fiercely, almost crying. You can tell the stress of everything is getting to her. You pull out your phone to have something to do. You can feel your throat start to itch and you feel antsy. _Text Message from Jade Laurens, _reads the screen. It also tells you that you have ten unread messages - probably all from her, you figure. "You do you even care? Or are you too obsessed with yourself now?" she attacks, obviously hurt by your seemingly indifference.

You open the latest text message, just out of habit. Your eyes read over the words quickly. You narrow your eyes at the words, but you shake it off. Instead you look up and look Mitchie in the eyes. "Of course I care." You say with an honesty so apparent, she blinks and falls silent. You nod before looking back down to your phone. _Shane, please call me. I know you are mad but I love you. I need to talk to you. It's important. I need you to come to my place because I'm truly scared. Please, call. I love you, _the text reads. "More than I should." You mutter before closing your eyes.

**XXX**

**So that was Shane's POV. I really hope you liked it =] So, I just want to give you guys heads up - from Dec. 18 to Jan. 8, I'll be on vacation. I'm gonna give Sabrina about 3, maybe 4 chapters soon and she'll just post them, but if she runs out of them… I'll try to write a lot on vacation haha.**

**Thanks for all your support.**

**Sandy**

**PS - I hope you liked this chapter!!!! Tell me your favorite part and what you would like to see more off (ie: drama, sexuality, angst…etc.) Also, 245? Thanks.**


	9. Chapter 9

"**In the heat of Los Angeles, what has become of me? I want, I want, I want everything. This city's killing me. (I want everything.)" Los Angeles - Sugarcult**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Nine

"God, it's so fucking hot." You moan, rubbing the back of your neck as you lean against the side of the car. Mandy just snickers at you as she fills up the car with gasoline. You narrow your eyes at the nozzle, turning around so your stomach is on the trunk of the car. "You know in New Jersey, we don't pump our gas. Someone does it for us." You inform her. You laugh when she sends you a glare. She mutters something under her breath but you only catch the end.

"…lazy motherfuckers." She shakes her head as you gasp mockingly. "Why? Are you too good to pump your own gas?" She asks, raising her eyebrow as she finishes. She removes the nozzle and puts it back in its place. You laugh and then shrug. She rolls her eyes. "I think it's only like twenty minutes left until we get to the city of angels. Ready for every one of your stereotypes to come true?" she asks teasingly as you guys get back into her car.

You exhale violently, your sticky bangs moving only a little. "Definitely." You respond sarcastically. She just laughs as she gets back to the main highway you have been driving down for about seven hours. You stretch your arms high above your head, trying to take out all the tenseness in your body. "I cannot wait to get to the hotel to take a damn shower and then go to this meeting. Hopefully, the dean listens to me." You say, leaning against the window. Mandy nods at you, hitting her fingers against the steering wheel to the sound of the music.

"Hey." She calls out suddenly. You look at her, your eyebrow raised. She opens her mouth before shrugging. "What about your friend? Or more than friend? Backstreet Boy." She further explains when you give her a strange look. You blink at her before sighing and groaning loudly. She laughs as you practically scream in annoyance.

"That fucking boy is driving me absolutely insane." You laugh with her before leaning your head against the window. "Like legit. Shane can take his confusing bullshit and keep it. Plus, I shouldn't be messing around with him." You say seriously. He hasn't broken up with Jade - as far as you know. That's what has been eating at you; he's still with her even though he likes to kiss you constantly. After he told you he cared about you the other night, he told you he had to leave. He told you it was important but that that talk was done. Actually, what Shane doesn't know is that that talk is done - because you left without telling him you left to L.A. so there goes that.

"Well, is he any good?" she asks, as the GPS tells her to turn right in an obnoxious voice. You lower your eyebrows at her, not understanding.

"Um, he's kind of an ass, but he can be very sweet when he wants to be." You shrug, biting your lip. Because he is sweet. Even though violence doesn't solve anything - usually - Mark has stayed very far away from you since that day. You hope Shane saw the note you left on your door, telling him you weren't going to school because you are going out of town and sorry for wasting his time. You would have called him to tell him not to pick you up, but you just don't have his phone number.

So whatever.

"In bed, Mitchie. In bed." Mandy explains, sighing softly. "Is Shane Grey good in bed? Because I'm willing to bet that half the girls in America still want to know that - even four years later. Especially now that most at entering seventeen or eighteen. They all want to know if their pop-star is any good… as do I. So chop, chop. Divulge." She harasses you, taking a hand off the steering wheel to smack your thigh.

"Ow." You exclaim, pouting slightly before squirming uncomfortably. Sex has never been a comfortable subject for you. You know what it is and you know how it's done, but you've never understood it. "Um… we haven't. I haven't. Ever." you say awkwardly, still shuffling. You look back out to the streets of L.A. and swallow softly.

"Wait? What? You're a virgin?" you hate her tone. It's filled with shock and laughter. You want to huff at her. Who cares if you are? The only person besides you that it affects is that person you sleep with.

"Yep." You say straightforwardly before playing with the radio, hoping she would get the hint.

"Aren't you like twenty-one?" she asks incredulously, looking from the road to you. You kind of wish she would look more to the road. People in California - specifically L.A. - are not the best drivers as you have come to realize. You swear one day you will die in a car accident because of these damn people. You bet on it.

"Twenty, actually." You correct her, almost coldly. You don't want to talk about this anymore. You want to go back to teasing and playing; not talking about serious subjects that are passed off as laughing matters. Shane was right; you had always wanted to tell off Amy for the way she dresses and acts. You just didn't have the guts - he was right about that too. You roll your eyes at him, thinking about how he is a seven hour drive away and he still plagues your mind. "So anyways, what CD do you want to listen to next?" you say, going through the packet of mix CDs that she keeps in her car.

Still chuckling, she turns when the GPS tells her to. "Any. I don't care. I actually bought the new Haley Black last week. I felt like I was betraying our generation." She jokes, as you take out the CD. You smile at the cover before putting it in. You have always loved this girl, even since you first saw her. You went to her concerts back when they were still free and now she's selling out the Staples Center. That's so insane to you. You remember back to when you wanted to sing for a living. You want to so badly, even now, but there's hardly any way of doing it nowadays. Dreams only come true for only a select few. That's life, you guess.

When the two of you arrive at the hotel, you immediately jump into the shower before putting on your best clothes that you had set aside for today. You are nervous. You are nervous that they will reject you again, but you are also nervous that they will accept you. You will have to move. You will have to explain to your mother. You will have to get a car. You will have to get a new apartment. You will have to leave Berkley and leave… "Hey, you done in there?" Mandy calls from the other side of the door. You swallow back the thoughts plaguing your mind and brush your hair one last time before opening the door.

"Yeah, sorry. I should start leaving. The meeting is scheduled in an hour and I still have to get there." You tell her as you grab one of your better purses you switched to for only today. She nods and smiles before pulling you in a hug.

"Do your best. You'll get in, Mitchie. I promise." She pep talks you, squeezing you tightly. You smile shakily and nod, before letting her go to the bathroom. As soon as you walk out the door, and see the vast city of Los Angeles, you suddenly feel a random burst of sadness and loneliness. You are scared to move and that's so hard to admit to others. You swallow the emotions back again before pulling out your cell phone. You dial a number quickly, knowing it by heart.

"Hey. I thought you died."

"Caitlyn, I haven't called you for a day and a half. Not weeks. Jeeze, drama queen." You say back as you climb into Mandy's car. You start it, balancing your phone against your shoulders skillfully. You hear Caitlyn chuckle.

"Well, it feels like years since that asshole is back. I halfway expect a call saying you body was found in the lake at Camp Rock." She explains. You hear music in the background. You smile at the fact she's probably in her room, stereo turned up with a glass of wine and _Sex and the City_ put on pause. "Anyways, tell me the new deets. I'll pretend that I'm still seventeen and gasp at all the right parts." She says sarcastically, but you know she means well.

You laugh, almost manically. "Deets? Oh my, God, Caitlyn. Shane's gonna kill me. Or maybe it will be the other way around. But we talked and I think we're getting to be at least acquaintances. Eventually, we'll become friends." You finish with a smile, obviously sarcastic. You smile wider when you hear her chuckle, and you know she shook her head. Suddenly, you get serious. "But… on a different but totally related subject, I stole Nate's number off Shane's desk. I have been wanting to call the kid all day, but…" you trail off as you get on the road.

You hear Caitlyn take a sharp exhale of breath. "No! No, I won't allow this. Either Shane or Nate. But don't string them both along again. No. Nope." She quickly starts, but you cut her off.

"I've never stringed Nate along." You say incredulously.

She snorts. "Oh, please. That boy was so in love with you. You know he couldn't take his eyes off you after he found out Chloe was cheating on him. That's why Shane believed it so quickly - because you two had this weird thing." She sighs disappointedly. You scoff, biting your lip.

"Yeah, it was called friendship. Jesus, me and Nate were just friends. I don't understand why you all hate me. I didn't do anything. It was Tess who decided to mess everything up. Where is she? Not getting yelled at by Shane or lectured by Caitlyn." You groan as she snickers softly. "Bitch." You mutter under your breath. "That was meant for Tess but it works for you too." You continue, smiling at the end when she starts laughing.

When she calms down, she clears her throat. "All I'm saying is that you need to realize that calling Nate isn't the best idea." You start to interject again but she stops you. "But!" she cuts you off. "But I know that you want answers from him and that you didn't just lose a boyfriend that day, you lost a best friend in the form of the Jew-fro. I get that. So, I guess call him, but I strongly do not advise it." she finishes quickly. You laugh.

"Okay, Miss Confusing." You sigh. "I don't have the guts to call him anyways." You conclude before shrugging. "Oh, well. I already have enough Greys in my life - and that's one too many." You sing. Caitlyn just snickers. She asks you about L.A. and the club scene - both of which you tell her you don't know much about. Then, she asks you where you are going. "UCLA. I'm gonna try to transfer. Actually, I'm here now. Wish me luck?" you laugh nervously as the huge building comes into view. There millions of people all over the place. From hipsters to scene kids to sluts to crazies - L.A has everyone. "Because it looks pretty scary." You admit to your closest friend.

She sighs. "Mitchie, you will be fine." Is all she says. You huff. "Sorry, good luck, Michelle Torres." She says with what you assume is paired with a roll of the eyes.

--

After the interview with the dean, his secretary sends you to a small white waiting room just outside his office. You know he is deliberating right now in there, and you are scared - very fucking scared. This could change everything. This could change your entire life. This could change who you are and who you will be in the future. The question now is, do you want that? Complete and utter change?

You swallow down the bile that you can feel itching up your throat. You feel sick, so very sick. Your nerves are on edge. You feel so out of it right now. _Done_, is all you send to both Mandy and Caitlyn. You wait impatiently for their responses and your newest friend responses first. _Great! You'll get in. I know it_., Mandy writes to you. You just exhale and shake your head. That isn't what you need right now. You wait another minute for Caitlyn's text. _Stop jittering like I know you are. Shape up and realize that you deserve to be there. Fuck the world. Today isn't about them._, she messaged you. You sigh but give a small smile just as the secretary comes back to the room, singling for you to follow her. You nod professionally, picking up your portfolio and transcripts and walking just behind her.

The dean is an older man, obviously nice but obviously not one for bullshit. He sits you down with a wave of the hand. You smile timidly at him. "Well, Ms. Torres. I just reviewed your transcripts and your letters of recommendations." He says, flipping through the copies you gave him. He smiles at you. "And I have to say, I would be honored if you would transfer to UCLA. Actually, I saw in your FASFA papers that you had a little less than a full ride. If you consider transferring, I might consider rethinking that scholarship." He says, tilting his head. You part your lips in surprise as warmth fills your body. You feel your eyes prickle with tears as he smiles again and reaches for a handshake. "Congratulations." He says as you stand up.

You don't even know what to say, but you eventually let out a emotion filled, "Thank you." There is more talk about school times and by when you have to give in your decision and other stuff, but you can barely pay any attention to it. This is your life, and it's going to change. Your heart is going a million miles an hour as you walk out of the room. You walk down the hallway with your head up, but inside, you are a mess. You cannot even think as you climb into Mandy's car. It's like the world is going at seventy-five miles an hour and you are going a dismal twenty-five. You feel like a cop will stop you at any second to give you a ticket and tell you to speed up.

When you close the door to the car, you feel like screaming. You shakily pick up your phone, sending the same text to two girls - _I got in._

--

"We are partying tonight! No fucking doubt about that!" Mandy says as soon as you walk in. she gives you a tight hug. You collapse in a heap of laughter as the stress of the day hits you hard. She laughs with you as you both sink to the floor. "I saw this great place down the street and we need to go and just… live it up, man. You just got into one of the best colleges in the world!" she screams with a huge smile on her face. You close your eyes and nod, your heart beating so fast still. You separate from her, breathing out loudly, still chuckling.

"I'm gonna get out of these scratchy clothes and into some better, more appropriate clothes." You tell her, grabbing your suitcase. She grins and nods, going to her own duffel bag. You go to the bathroom, and as soon as you do, the smile on your face disappears. You are going to have to move. You are going to have to forget about _him_ again. It was hard the first time, but now? You pull out your phone and stare at it. What if you call him? Maybe, just to let him know. Does he deserve to know? Is he anything to you? Besides the fact you like to kiss each other and sleep in the same bed and sometimes are the first people you both see in the mornings - that doesn't stop the fact that he isn't yours.

Do you call him?

You grab your phone determined and go to your contacts. That's when you realize you don't even have his number. Swallowing, you slam the phone down and the touch screen skips down the contact list on its own. You roll your eyes at the damn phone before seeing the one contact you have been itching at for days. _Call Him_ is all you wrote for his name. You pick up the phone, your eyes going to the mirror. You look like a professional, well off woman ready to embark on the world, but… you've never felt like more of a child before. You need to be brave, but pressing send has to be the hardest thing in the world. But you have to do it and you know that. You heart is literally about to jump out of your chest with every passing second.

You finally press send after a small prayer.

It rings four times and you almost hang up - but then! His voice is deeper, more mature than it was when you were sixteen and he fifteen. He sounds tired as well, as if these past couple weeks have been strenuous. "Hello?" he repeats himself, a little bit more agitated.

"Nate?" you whisper softly, gripping the bathroom counter hard.

It doesn't take him a few seconds to respond like people usually do in the movies. He doesn't realize it's the girl who broke up his band. "Yeah. Who's this?" he answers immediately. He doesn't know who you are. He doesn't care who you are probably. The next move you do, you blame on your cowardice.

You hang up.

You throw the phone aside after shutting it off and go to the small suitcase you had carelessly thrown to the floor. You take out a small tight form fitting black dress that is still not as slutty as some of the girls you have seen so far. You take off the business clothes, still shaking form the phone call. You are trying to not think about it - pretend it just never happened. It was a lapse in time. It doesn't exist. It never happened. You pull out some nude stockings and pull them on as you try not to think about the damn curly haired nineteen year old boy. You don't need this or him. You got into UCLA. You don't need the fucking Grey brothers.

Speaking of which, you wonder almost masochistically where the fuck Jason is in all this?

--

"It's called the Tarantula Bar and I heard it's awesome! My friend Mick like lives there and gives me hot wings for free whenever I go downtown." She laughs as you link arms. You feel good about yourself - besides the minor blurb with Nate. You can do this. You can be fun and flirty and have a good time. You can. You can. You force a smile to Mandy and nod as you walk towards the front of the line. You can see a lot of university students waiting to get in. You laugh over the fact that it is the middle of the week, but that doesn't stop any underage kid ever. Mandy smiles at the bouncer uncomfortably. "Hi, I'm Mandy. Mick told me to come up front." She says but you can tell she's scared.

You almost snort at her. If she's scared - a girl who has come to L.A. before and has been at clubs - then she should imagine you: a girl from New Jersey who thinks she is also from New York but has never been to a club. You feel like at any second someone is gonna shine a light on you and ask you your age and for your ID. You halfway wonder if you are going to go to jail tonight before realizing the bouncer let you in. Your eyes widen at the inside of the club. You are immediately thrusted into intense heat as all the bodies around you grind and dance against each other. Mandy pulls you through the people but some guys try to hold you back. You squirm and get out of their reach before finally going to the bar. By the time you get there, Mandy is already asking for two shots of tequila.

Now, you were a semi-normal teenager in high school. You never drank until your senior year - that you deemed too stupid and too unnecessary to think you shouldn't be drinking - and even then, you only drank at parties. At college, you didn't participate in Thirsty Thursday your first semester. You once went out with Caitlyn at two AM to go pick up your older brother's girlfriend that had a bottle of vodka and then you were stopped by the police. Luckily, you were in the backseat because you were freaking out. Caitlyn and Ashley - your brother's girlfriend - handled it smoothly on the other hand, and no licenses or registrations were taken. After that, you stopped drinking for a while before starting to go to the sporadic frat party. The rest of your college career you drank only with friends.

But never at a club and never in public - where you can get arrested for underage drinking.

You gulp as you see a man with black and red straight hair give Mandy the shots, smiling leeringly at her. He turns his attention to you with a nod of his head, his lip studs shining at you because of the lights. You purse your lips uncomfortably as Mandy brings one of the shot glasses to you. You blow out softly before taking the glass and clicking it with her - and drowning it.

And another. And another. And another.

You probably danced more than you have ever in your life. You just wanted to let go - let go of Shane, and Nate and especially Shane. Because you cannot stand Shane at all. He's mean and such a good kisser and - "Mitchie, why are you telling me this? Who's Nate? Nate Grey?" Mandy starts asking you. You narrow your eyes at her confused until you realize you have been saying your thoughts out loud. You immediately feel a cold sweat run through you as you hear some guy smack some other girl's ass. You gulp and grab Mandy's arms. "Hey, you okay?" she asks, biting her lip. She is just as buzzed but she seems to be having a better grip of reality at the moment.

"Can we go to the café next door?" you slur. You watch as Mandy scrunches her nose and nods finally. Actually, with every passing second - ever since you thought of Shane again - you have been sobering up. But you cannot let him take your happiness away. You won't let him. "Come on. It will be less crowded and I think it has a bar as well." You say, a little bit more clearly. You tell yourself to get sober, almost chastising. You two starts weaving through the crowd once more before getting out. Mandy links arms with you again as you walk to the small café - The Bucket European Café. "Oh, jeeze, Mands - did we leave the country?" you joke, halfway swaying as you get inside the building.

The first things you notice are two people - one behind the bar and one sitting at it. Mandy pulls you to some sofas as your wide eyes look at them. The one behind the bar - the waitress - is pretty in the _I don't give a fuck what you think about me_ way. She has pink and black hair with tattoos down her arm, a nose ring and 'I'm so over this. Why am I working the night shift again?' attitude radiating off her. But she isn't the one who catches your interest for long. It's the guy sitting at the bar. He is young - younger than you, you think - with an almost indie style of clothing. And a full head of thick unruly curly hair. "So, tell me about Shane?" Mandy suddenly asks you, and you realized that you are sitting down in the couch already.

His name disorients you completely. "Shane? Shane is stupid." You tell her, tilting your head so your brown hair falls on the other side of your face. In the background, you swear to God you hear "_"Yeah, whatever. My brother's an ass. He waited four years - he can wait a little longer."_ Come from the bar. When you look over to see who said it, all you see is the waitress coming towards you. "Shane is a stupid head." You joke so that she doesn't realize that you are out of it. You both giggle before Mandy gives you a serious look.

"I think he's in love with you." Mandy concludes just before the waitress comes over. "Hey! Pink! Have you ever had a pop-star in love with you?" she says to your waitress. You immediately turn red, but notice the look of almost fright on Pink's face. She looks at you like you are utterly insane before Mandy continues. "Because she does!" she says, pointing at you.

Pink's eyes widen even more. "Um - right." She mumbles, pushing her sleeves to her elbow. "I wish you the best of luck with that." She says with a fake smile. You blush even more, putting your dazed head in your hands.

"See- even she knows it's not a good idea. You should stay away from him - like ten foot pole distance. That's why UCLA is so great!" Mandy says to you with a raised eyebrow. You hiss under your breath. You know UCLA is a good way to get away from everything - from everyone. That was the whole purpose, right? Looking up, you see Pink give you a sympathetic look and you shrug almost nonexistent. Then, you swear your waitress mutters something with a curse under her breath before looking at her ordering pad.

"Do you guys need to order, or what?" you waitress says with a preoccupied smile. It makes you remember that you aren't the only person deal with issues. Everyone has their own thing going on.

You ask for menus because you didn't realize you were supposed to order at the bar, and then end up ordering the same thing you order from the Black Mamba. "Can I have a caramel latte?" you ask, trying to quell the craziness inside your head because of the tequila.

"Hot chocolate with extra foam, please." Mandy asks, always going for the multiple doses of sugar. The waitress goes back to behind the bar, tapping her foot as the drinks are made and talking to the boy. You forgot about him, but you swear to everything you recognize him. But from where? He looks so familiar - so fucking familiar. When Pink comes back with your drinks, you really want to ask her if she knows the boy or if she could at least call him over, but you reframe. "Hey! Thanks." Mandy says with a goofy smile as the girl sets down the drinks. She nods, wiping her hands on her shirt slightly before smiling at you - still very done with life.

"Can I get you guys anything else?" she asks. You look at her closely. You see some sort of sadness behind her eyes - behind the pink hair, and tattoos, and confidence. You almost open your mouth to have her join you, but Mandy beats you to the punch.

"Yeah, Pink - why don't you serve yourself the strongest drink you are allowed to have and join us. I bet you are tired and that guy doesn't look like the best companion." She says, nodding her head at the curly haired kid. You look at him again, your eyes narrowed - trying so hard to figure out who it is.

"How old is he?" you let out softly under your breath just as the waitress looks around. She meets eyes with another waitress, asking her silently if she needs her for any reason. As Pink turns back around, she answers you, but you are pretty sure she doesn't even know she did.

"Um nineteen?" You turn your head, your eyes wide in confusion. You see her cheeks turn the lightest pink as she falls down next to Mandy before shrugging. "Too young for booze, even though he tried." She answers honestly before kicking off her tall red heels. She wiggles her nicely kept multicolored toes before smiling at you guys. "I'm all yours girl." She says with a sigh.

Who the hell do you know that is a year younger than you?

"Okay. Now, why are you sad? And what type of sad are you? Mitchie's kind of sad where she realized that she doesn't know whether to get with her ex or to let him go." She says the last word louder, rolling her eyes. "Or the kind of sad where you lost your most epic love? Or the sadness where you pig out and watch _Sex and the City_ for hours?" Mandy says, crossing her legs Indian style - even though she's in a dress.

Pink looks at Mandy for a couple seconds before blinking and then nodding. "How about a mixture of all three?" she says, like she isn't sure. "Plus, I did the _Sex and The City_ thing yesterday. Of course, I did it with whiskey so…" she trails off, rolling her eyes. She sighs and brings her legs up like Mandy and looks at you.

"So, why are you messing around with this dude? Obviously he's no good if the bestie doesn't approve, right?" she says. You notice a different accent on her when she talks for a while. You are so not used to California accents, especially when you are still a little drunk. You open your mouth but she has already turned to Mandy. "Is he shady?" she asks her with a raised perfect eyebrow.

Mandy hisses pointedly. "He has a girlfriend." She says, tilting her head to the side.

Pink turns back to you with both eyebrows raised this time. "Oh, dude. Don't get into that mess. Step away." She says, yawning slightly. You take a sip of your latte to avoid talking to her for a second and unconsciously look back to the bar. The boy is still there - still drinking his coffee. You turn back to Pink.

"I used to love him." You say, a little slurry. Suddenly, you are hit with word vomit and you almost start to cry. "And I don't know how I feel about him now and he keeps kissing me and I don't understand why he does it. I don't know if he still loves me or… well, actually last night he told me he cares. What the fuck is that? That's like the equivalence of a twelve year old asking me if I liked him - oh wait! I did that. He didn't answer because I'm pretty sure he's just as confused as me, but that doesn't answer why he likes to kiss me and hold me and pick me up when I can walk. And he's really hot and attractive and he plays guitar. And I just don't know." You finish, looking up at the ceiling to stop the tears. You can feel your makeup messing up as Pink sighs softly - almost hurt.

She has a boy too, you just know it.

She shakes her head slowly, taking a ragged breath. Honestly, you don't know why you divulged that to her. You are usually such a private person. Maybe it's because you know she could understand. "My guy - he's a musician too, and he's so different." she starts, looking like she cannot control what she's saying either. "He's everything I'm not, you know? He's perfect and innocent – Well," she chokes on a laugh, "More than I am. He was so honest with me the other night, and it killed me. I couldn't say anything and he just kept saying things. He kept spilling his heart. He told me he loved me and he knew it because I wasn't like any of the other girls he's dated. He told me that I'm such a wreck, and he loves it." she says, her eyes glossing over. She is obviously reliving a memory. It kills you too see her in pain like this. You notice out of the corner of your eye the boy raise his arm to stretch it. "He didn't even want me to say it back; he wanted me to be sure I knew and that he was going to wait…He's nothing that I need." She says firmly until her face softens. "But I guess, some guys look completely wrong for you and the world is against you, but…sometimes, they're what you need. More importantly, they're what you want." She finishes looking down at her feet.

You swallow harshly. Is Shane what you need? Is he what you want? Do you want to wake up to him every morning and kiss him and just… have him?

Mandy looks at the both of you. "Wow. Love is fucked up. This is why I don't make me and Gabe official. I rather be single." She sighs. She shakes her head as she thinks of the boy she left back home. Her red hair goes in front of her face as she looks at you both.

You and Pink both interject at the same time. "I am single." And "So do I." You look at each other before laughing slightly.

Mandy laughs the hardest. "Okay, but I'm not crying on a couch - especially after fucking getting accepted to UCLA!" Mandy yells at you, her voice cheerful. You try to smile at her but… is Shane was you need? Do you want Shane in your life? Your heart keeps yelling at you but you have no idea what it is saying. You have no idea what to even think.

Pink wipes her eyes with a delicate swipe of a finger, fixing her makeup perfectly. "Oh, UCLA? I go there." She informs you. You look at her, suddenly focused again.

"Do you like it?" you ask hopefully. You just want a decent answer. You cannot take the dean's word. He works there and he loved you. You cannot trust your heart because it is elsewhere at the moment, completely pissed at you. And you have no idea what your mind is saying because you still feel a little tipsy.

"Dude - it sucks. Biology kicks my ass - if I can even get it there. And this paper - it's from hell. I've been working on it for months and it's like a third of my grade and I'm pretty sure my professor forgot all about it. It's whatever there. It's expensive and the parking is ridiculous and the amount of chicks who can't walk faster than a snail crawls is so stupid. The hype doesn't match the actual product, trust." She rolls her eyes. She hates UCLA.

Well, fuck your life.

In the corner of your eye, you see the boy stand up from the bar. You catch his face in profile for a second but that's all it takes. Of course, you aren't exactly sober, so you are a bit sluggish. Also, instead of calling out his name then, you pull out your phone. In your mind, you want to make sure it's him first. So you speed-dial the last number you have saved under sent just as he leaves the store. You watch as he opens his old Mustang and your eyes widen as he pauses to take his phone out of his pocket. You freak out and hang up the phone again, and turn back to look at Mandy and Pink. They are both looking at you like you are cracked.

"Holy shit, guys." Is all you say. You don't know whether to hide yourself, thinking he might know you are there or something. "That was Nate Grey!"

**XXX**

**New chapter a whole - let me count - 4 days earlier than I usually put it up. But see - this chapter was so exciting for me to write. Because see, I wrote it with my best friend. Her story (Feel Good Drag on JBFA) and mine have a little collaboration. See that Pink haired girl? Her main character. So, people that read FGD - there's your spoiler for down the line. **

**Speaking of my best friend, her name is Sabrina. She's my beta. Her screenname is FakexPearls and she wrote a story. It is called **_**Hello, Fascination **_**and it can be found at ** /s/ 5559069/1/ Hello_Fascination **(no spaces). It is an amazing story and she's super excited about it. You should check it out and review because I'm guaranteed you will love it.**

**Go and read. But! Before you do! Review please. Since I gave u one early, let's make this one a little more. How about at 280? That's fair right? There's like 300 people reading. That's only a little more than 10 percent. And to those that are worrying about the sex aspect, well… at chapter 14 on, there will be more - starting with chapter 12. So, review and you get the goods!**

**Love you,**

**Sandra **


	10. Chapter 10

"**The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me pressing for more than just a moment of truth between the lies told to pull ourselves away from the lives we leave back."Coffeehouse Soundtrack - All Time Low  
**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Ten

When you get back to your town the next day, you don't even go to your apartment. You go straight to Black Mamba to apologize to Shane for skipping out and to demand his phone number. What you didn't expect was it to be the lunch rush, and even more - you didn't expect him to be working. Whenever you have seen him, he has always been chilling in the background - but that afternoon, he was going all over the place. You sit at the furthest booth, watching as he goes back and forth from his office to the register. You figure it's either pay day or he's counting the money for the week. Or…? You shrug and lean back on the cushion. You lower your eyebrows at the way his face is so serious.

He looks seriously stressed.

You sigh and tap your leg against the metal of the booth, waiting for a waitress. You look around and see Sabrina and another blonde running around with fixed smiles and panic behind their eyes. You frown. Something is going on. Your eyes follow Sabrina as you she goes to the counter and puts her head in her hands for a couple seconds, looking ready to cry. Shane comes to her and sighs, putting his hand on her shoulder and saying something. He nods over to you, probably not even knowing it was you, before rolling his eyes. You watch him tell her that you have my table and maybe she should take five before she drops.

He comes over to your table quickly. You look at him worried when you see the slight bags under his eyes and the heaviness of his steps. He doesn't say anything when he slides into the booth across from you, immediately putting his head and arms on the table. You frown deeper, not knowing how to comfort him. You bite your lip but dig your hand softly in his thick hair. He makes a small noise before lifting his head. Your hand goes from his hair before tracing down his cheek and rounding off his chin. You feel soft prickles against your skin as he leans into your hand, until suddenly he is looking at you with a scowl. "Hey, thanks for the call so that I didn't have to drive to your place for nothing." He says sarcastically, his eyes glaring.

You respond immediately. "Thanks for giving me your phone number so that I could call so that you didn't have to drive to my place for nothing." He rolls his eyes again, digging his hands in his hair. "What's going on?" you ask, your voice a little softer. He looks at you confused before he remembers what's wrong. His face pales slightly as he shakes his head. He sighs heavily before squeezing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. You bite your lip again. You don't know how to fix this. You guys left it all at such a crazy place. Really, the talk didn't resolve anything, but just brought up more problems. Sighing, you lean forward as much as you can and peck his lips to get him calmer, but it just does the opposite.

He instantly moves away from you, looking around to make sure no one was looking. He even brings the hood of his jacket up, before looking at you shocked. You blink at him, sitting back down slowly. "Mitchie." He almost scolds you. Swallowing, you shrug questioningly, your hair going in front of your eyes. "I work here." He continues, almost huffing. You raise an eyebrow - knowing that he has kissed you in front of the establishment before.

"No." you say, clicking your tongue. "You own here." You say, not even caring that you don't make sense. "What? We are only allowed to kiss if you start it?" you ask, crossing your arms. His eyes soften and he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. You just stare at him for a few seconds. You notice how the purple hoodie frames his face, making his thick hair go in front of his eyes. You notice that he is wearing random jeans and a plain shirt under his hoodie. He looks like he has had quite a night. "What's wrong with you, pop-star?" you whisper, bringing your fingers back to his cheek. You pull them away hurt when you see him move away. He doesn't meet your eye but instead steal a glance to his right. You lower your eyebrows and look as well. His office is closed, but there is light flickering from the bottom of the door.

And then it hits you. You know exactly why he doesn't want you touching him.

"Mitchie please." He halfway begs, uncomfortably shuffling.

You tense and look at him coldly, completely leaning back - away from him. "Jade is here, isn't she?" you don't say it loud, but you know he heard you. He winces slightly and looks away. You feel a wave of emotions come at you - anger one of them. You are having second thoughts about going to a great school because of this boy. You didn't even shower or take a well deserve nap just to come see this boy. You swallow harshly and go to stand up, rolling your eyes in the process. You freeze when his hand curls around your wrist, asking you to stop. "Why are you with her still?" you blurt out, turning sharply to look him the eyes. You see his eyes widen for a second and he opens his mouth to answer. You cut him off. "No. Like, I don't get it. You told me she was a convenience. That, you needed someone to love you and to understand you. That, you don't actually care for her. So why are you with her?" you ask again, your voice strange. It's going back and forth from angry to upset.

His lips go into a straight line and he pushes himself up, his hand still bounding your wrist. You try to take a step back in order to give him more space to stand but his grip is too tight. "Are you really asking me to break up with her?" he hisses under his breath, his eyes flashing. "You cannot just come into my life like this Mitchie. You ask me the other day if I liked you, so here's your answer: it doesn't matter how I feel about you. It doesn't matter if I love you or if I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life. There are bigger things in life than first loves and lies and drama." He starts unloading quickly. You can see him start to unravel. "Do you understand that I'm missing almost three hundred dollars from my register today? I have five waitresses - three of which have been here for more than a year. The other two are both single moms and under the age of twenty. I have bigger things to deal with than my ex, okay." He tells you before abruptly sitting back down.

He pulls at his hair and closes his eyes. You swallow and run a hand through your hair, looking at his office door for a few seconds before looking at him again. "Okay, this is what you will do…" you start as you slide in the booth again. You don't want him to unravel. You need him whole. It's just something personal. When he looks up at you, you continue. "You will call a meeting. You will get everyone together and inform them that there is three hundred dollars missing from the register. You will provide them until tomorrow night to return it in a white unmarked envelope, but that if it ever happens again, the culprit will be fired - no questions asked. You will talk to each one individually and try to see if any of them are in desperate need for money. Then when you find out which one is the worse and most likely the one who stole the money, you will talk to them about how to maybe make a plan for the next couple months." You advise him, trying to keep your own pain about him choosing Jade over you away from interfering with helping him.

He doesn't belong to you. He's just a boy - and he isn't yours. "But…" he mumbles, sighing. He looks so confused and for a while, he doesn't speak. When he sighs again, he lightly nods. "Okay." He accepts, digging his hand in his hair again. "Where did you learn that?" he asks, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Business minor." You answer immediately. His eyes widen in surprise.

"What happened to the music?" he asks, clearly shocked. "What happened to wanting to spread your sound to everyone - even the nonbelievers?" You laugh sardonically that talking about music can get Shane out of this funk, even for a few minutes before - you are betting - he goes back to sulking.

"You know, I would answer that if you answer a couple questions of mine." You propose sarcastically. He raises an eyebrow and doesn't say anything. "What happened to the music, Shane?" you repeat his words, leaning in again. "What happened to wanting to spread your sound to everyone - even the nonbelievers? What happened to music being acceptable as the great love and not having to look for happiness in a woman's bed? What happened to being all you can be and making it? I wouldn't make it, Shane. It was a phase of mine. I thought I was going to be this great artist, but I wasn't and I didn't become one. And that's fine. I'm not sad about it, but you Shane? You were the lead singer of the hottest boy band in the world. People killed to go to your concerts. People did anything to just meet you - to hold your hand for five seconds. You had it - fame, love, the music - and you gave it all up. What happened to the music?" you finish sadly before getting off the booth again. He avoids your glance and instead stares at his fingers. "What happened to believing in yourself?" you whisper before turning away from him.

--

When you get home, you feel bad for chewing out Shane after having a crappy day - but for some reason, you got really defensive when he asked about the music. But at the same time - he is killing you with his lifestyle. Why the hell is he with Jade? It's not like you want him to come in his white horse or anything, but he could at least try to acknowledge that you two have something going on. Because you do. After you got to the hotel after seeing Nate at that café/bar in L.A., your mind could not get off Shane and you. He kisses you. He holds you. He protects you. He makes you breakfast. He drives you to school. He brings you free coffee most of the time. If that doesn't spell out that you guys are doing something, then you don't know what will.

Whether you want something is a different story. The point is that there is something.

Sighing, you pick up some clothes off the floor, ignoring the fact Amy put in her headphones the moment you walked in the door. You and her haven't talked at all since Shane decided to tell her everything you wished you could have. You go over to your bed and just lay down, slamming your nose in the soft white pillow. And then you remembered something.

Shane still has not given you his number. "Fuck." You groan, getting off the bed again. You again ignore Amy as you leave the room. You walk quickly back to Black Mamba, totally intent on just getting his damn number and leaving (and maybe apologizing for being an asshole). When you get there, you slow down when you notice that only one light is turned on. You peer in the windows to see Shane in the meeting you told him to have. Biting your lip, you breathe out and turn around. You walk slowly down the empty sidewalk. There's hardly anyone present - only a couple SUVs, a Jeep and Shane's expensive sports car. Sighing, you cross your arms, wondering who to call - because you need to talk to someone. You feel lonely. Except, you don't want to call Mandy, or even Caitlyn or Sierra. You just want to talk to…

Shane.

You want to talk to Shane. It pains you to admit it, but you want to talk to Shane. You want him to be close and you want him damn number and you want to get away. Except, now you kind of don't. Ever since Mark stopped harassing you, you have fallen back into the routine of Berkeley. Moreover, you have friends now. And of course, Shane. On the other hand, your roommates hate you, as does Jade. And let's not forget, Nate is due to arrive (you think) at any second to talk to Shane - and you don't want that confrontation. And there's also that slight problem of you feeling completely left out and lonely. But will L.A. be any better? There, you will really not know anyone. You will not know a single soul. It will be starting over - but it will be starting over late. You will be coming in when everyone has already made friends and has settled slightly in place. You will be the one who shakes up everything. Again.

You turn around and stare at the road, looking back at Black Mamba. You watch as Shane speaks to Sabrina, who looks ready to cry. You feel so bad for him - for them. You bet, if he hired them, then they aren't bad people. Times are tough. You know that, and they probably figure Shane is well off enough to be okay with three hundred dollars missing. You move forward involuntarily, you eyes glued to him as you lean against the wall to hide yourself.

He is so beautiful - but such a mess. Maybe, he isn't suicidal or crazy or depressed, but he is a mess. He has spent forever hating and pushing people away for the longest time, and now he was forced to do a 180 in a day. You know in his heart he must still not trust you. Maybe that's why he won't break up with Jade. He still doesn't trust you - not that you blame him. Thinking about it, you don't even know if you want him in your life and you are thinking about moving away; you are the last person he should trust. You are fickle and are constantly all over the place. Maybe it would be best if you stay away.

You walk for a while, not going to your house but rather going over to the small playground you had first seen Shane and Francesca making out in. You go over to the swings and just sit, biting your lip in contemplation. You don't know even know how long you stay in that position for. "Mitchie" you gasp softly, looking to your right from where the voice came from. Shane is leaning against the pole of the swing set, taking out a cigarette and putting it to his lips. You watch as he fumbles for his lighter as he closes his eyes.

"Hey." You whisper quietly. All of a sudden, you feel like crying and you don't even know why. You thought when you turned twenty you were over that whole teenage angst thing. You thought you would be in a serious relationship where it would be all butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes, you really are so naïve. "Listen Shane…" you trail off, when he lets some smoke leave his lips. He looks at you behind clouded eyes. You shake your head, letting the words die on your lips. Instead, you say something else. "What happened at the meeting?" you ask, swinging slightly just to have something to do - to distract from the tears.

His lips remain in a straight line before he parts them to allow the cigarette in. "They all claim to have done nothing wrong. I looked over their stuff and Sabrina is the only one who would really need it. When I questioned her, she started crying and begged me not to fire her because it wasn't her. I know she seems guilty, but I believe her. So basically, I'm screwed and someone is stealing and I just have no fucking clue who." He stresses, but his tone is off. He is mad at you, and really you do not blame him. You attacked him and that wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry." You say, but he takes it as an apology to the situation. He shrugs and takes another drag of his cancer stick. "Shane…" you choke out again. Swallowing, you stand up and go in front of him. He avoids you and looks away from you, so you awkwardly lean against the pole as well. "I got accepted into UCLA." You break the silence. He blinks and just looks at you. You clear your throat. "They are gonna give me a great scholarship and I just need to find an apartment." You say, digging your hands into your pockets.

He blows the smoke out, whistling at the same time. "Well, look at you - I knew you would get places, Mitch. I'm proud of you." He says seriously but it almost seems like he doesn't even care. He is mad? Upset? Indifferent? Okay, Shane. Show your emotions please, you argue in your head.

"That's all? You have nothing else to say?" you say sharper than you mean to.

He scoffs humorlessly, taking another drag of his cigarette. "Like what Mitchie? What do you want me to say? Ask you to stay? Tell you that I still love you and I want you around, and to forget your education and consequently your future so you can stay with me? Do you want me to tell you that -" he starts almost yelling, but all you do is put a hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean to attack you. I realize now how sensitive music is to you now." You say softly. You know this is bothering him and honestly, you just wanted him to stop yelling. A flash of pain goes behind his eyes. "I'm sorry." You repeat. The apology is soft and sincere. You bite your lip, coming closer to him before going on your tippy toes. Your press your lips on his cheek but graze his lips. His hands go to your hips and lightly stay there, as he leans down. Your lips brush slightly but not anywhere close to a real kiss. He gets off the pole and straightens his body so that he is closer to you. You shiver as his nose brushes against yours.

"It's okay." He resigns, his sweet breath going on your lips. Another shiver goes through you when you realize just how close he is to you. Literally, his lips are an itch away and yet feel so far. You know you initiated it, but you hate that he can make you weak with a kiss. But thinking about it - is it that bad? He is obviously a good person. He cares about his workers enough to not fire any of them even though he knows one is taking advantage of him. He got you back your guitar when you asked. He called Nate. He is trying, and that's more than a lot of guys can say.

And then you realize it… you might actually be falling for him again. "Shane." You breathe out, bringing your arms around his neck - eliminating more space between you. "Lean down and kiss me." You blurt out softly. He sucks in his breath sharply, gulping slightly. He comes down a little, his lips touching yours finally. You try to deepen the kiss but he moves away.

"I cannot break up with her." He tells you pointblank. You feel a surge of pain go through you as you scoff under your breath. He shakes his head. "She's a good girl. She might have her faults but we all do. She's been there for me, and maybe I'm not completely in love with her, but she's my support, you know? She's my rock at the moment."

"So, she's perfect?" you snap, jealousy and hurt going through you. "You don't even love her." You repeat again. You know it's getting redundant, but love is supposed to be a big thing is relationship. Right? And you know he doesn't love her. He told you so. She's manipulative, bitter, crazy and apparently a thief who took your guitar. He doesn't love her. He can't love her.

He tenses and narrows his eyes. "Love isn't everything, Mitchie. We aren't teenagers anymore." He hisses under his breath. You laugh shakily at him.

"You're twenty-one, not forty. You knew as well as I do that you are using Jade as a tool to fill the void music left you. She isn't something you need or something you will ever need. You need the love from your family, from your fans. The ones that appreciate you and can be truly appreciated by you. The ones you ran away from because you couldn't deal. They are the ones you need and you're trying to get it from meaningless sex and petty words. You are better off without her. You are better off trying to find yourself again by yourself or at least with someone that understands you. You need to in order to love yourself and eventually love the music again." You practically psychoanalyze him. He swallows harshly, his Adam's apple bobbing furiously up and down. You make him nervous - and in this case, probably, very angry.

"You are really trying to get me to break up with her?" He scoffs, almost growling. You do not answer. Inside of you, your heart is screaming yes.

"She isn't right for you." You finally vocalize your thoughts. His eyes flash with something and you watch as anger fills up his face. He closes his fists tightly and his body tenses even more.

"Oh, and you are?" he snaps. Your eyes widen and your throat closes up. His hand suddenly goes to your hip, squeezing roughly. You wince at the hold, squirming under his grasp and glare. "Mitchie, you broke my heart in a way no one ever has beforehand. You aren't an ex; you are the ex. The one who absolutely changed everything - including my life. You know what Jade is? Past the bullshit, she is stable and loving. Maybe I don't actually love her all that much and maybe I'm not attracted to her all the time and maybe I cheated on her one fucking time because I just wanted to get you riled up, but at least she's stable. At least she loves me. Maybe I don't love her, but the last time I loved someone, I was led to believe that I was deceived by not only the girl but also my little brother who was practically one of my best friends. Why shouldn't I stay with her? At least she won't hurt me." He finishes, shaking his head.

He lets go of your hips, his eyes growing distant again. "Oh, and when you kiss me, it isn't cheating? When you hold me or make me breakfast or pick me up in the mornings - that isn't doing something wrong? Maybe we aren't jumping in bed, but having these feelings aren't exactly innocent as well. You aren't living a life, Shane Grey. You are pretending to be happy with a girl you don't even respect and trying to maintain a pointless anger towards me because you think I caused this huge pain of yours. Wake up, Shane. I didn't cause shit. I loved you so much Shane. I never wanted to hurt you - ever - but you believed Tess. You did. You caused this pain." You are halfway crying by the end of your sentence. His jaw tightens and his fists ball up again.

You cross your arms. He isn't living right. Relationships should be filled with love and happiness and trust - not lust and drama and lies. It should be emotional _and_ physical. It should be about passion and listening and kissing and talking. It should be everything. Inside your heart, you know that as soon as you saw Shane a month or so ago, it sped up like crazy. You are turned on by him in ways that aren't just sexual. You missed him but now you also want him. Maybe he's a pain in the ass, but he's beautiful and he makes you want to get drunk and cry because you haven't worked something out. He makes you want to leave the damn state so that you don't have to see his face. He brings feelings up to the surface that aren't clear or right, but are real. They are so real.

His eyes flash with anger again and you know he is about to blow up at you. So, you act on an impulse. You are so tired of yelling at your heart and telling everything to stop. You are so tired of hating him and wanting to get away. You just want to solve this damn problem and get it over with. You grab the back of his head to help you lift your body up in order to reach his lips. Your mouth connects with his and a wave of _something_ goes through you, you shiver harshly as he moans gently and brings his large hands to your waist. For a second, you think he is going to push you away and scold or yell some more, so you tangle your fingers in his hair and deepen the kiss. He breathes out softly, obviously just giving in. You feel shivers run up and down your body, and you think how insane his kisses always make you. When you feel him moan again, you realize you drive him pretty crazy as well.

He sighs in your mouth as his tongue slips in between your lips. You can feel every nerve in your body jump and scream as he pushes his body against yours. "Shane." You moan in his mouth. You pull away slightly to get some air, but he follows you, kissing you some more. You whimper and lean back into him. When he lets you breathe again, you realize how out of breath he is as well. You bring your head to the nook of his neck as you pant, wrapping your arms around his thin waist. He brings his hand up to the back of your head, running his fingers through your hair. "That's what a kiss should be like." You don't even realize you say it but he immediately tenses.

He just sighs and untangles you from him. "I can't do this again, Mitchie. Honestly, baby, I am so attracted to you and I want you so badly. But that doesn't do anything. I want stability in my life. And you… you are moving. You aren't moving. You want me to disappear. You want me to break up with my girlfriend. You are here. You are there. Jesus, you are anything but stable."

**XXX**

**Hey guys. I think this might be one of my last post before I leave and Sabrina takes over. I'm gonna miss you guys ]= But I love you guys!!!! I asked for 280 and I got it. thank you! I knew you guys could do it! **

**I hope you liked this chapter, and I have a surprise for you!!! :D I wrote a brand new story that I hope you will read. It's called Just Friends and it's found at - ****http: //www****. fanfiction. net/s/557 23 89/1/ (no spaces). It's definitely not as angsty or whatever. Just fluff and cuteness, I hope. Watch me make them suicidal by the end of it haha. Sorry. I have too many issues. :D**

**I cannot wait for your reviews :D how about 310? I know you guys can do it. You guys motivate me so much. **

**I love you. Tell me if u hate Shane or Mitchie more haha. **

**Sandy.**

**(Happy holidays) **


	11. Chapter 11

"**Hey, slow it down.** **Hey, what do you want from me?" Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Eleven

"So, are you going to go to UCLA?" Mandy asks you in the computer lab after class. You free and just stare the screen, halfway completely ignoring her. "Mitchie?" she sings, trying to get your attention. You look over at her and smile sheepishly. "I said, are you going to go to UCLA? Don't you need to let Dean what's his face know by Friday?" she asks.

You search your brain for an excuse. You could just say - I just don't want to move anymore, but you don't think she would understand. "My mom yelled at me when I told her about it. She thinks it's bogus that I need to find another apartment and get a car and all that shit." You tell her and technically that wasn't a lie. Excuse, your mother ended that conversation with a sigh and an approval. Mandy frowns and gives you an apologetic look. "Yeah, it's okay. Thinking about it, I wanted to leave because I was homesick and wanted to be with my family and friends, but I'm just moving to another place in California? What is the sense in that? I wanted to get away from Mark but he hasn't bothered me since what happened. I wanted to just forget about Shane, but now he wants to forget about me so who cares about him anyways. I wanted to make friends, and I have - with you and Gabe and I bet if I tried harder, a lot more. I wanted to get away from my persistently partying roommates, but now they avoid me. So, yeah… things aren't perfect but they are good enough to just want to stay put. I think I was just scared because I moved from so far away." You conclude with a shrug.

Mandy just nods with a smile. "I'm glad you decided to stay. Does that make me a bad person?" she says happily, giggling under her breath. You smile at her and shake your head. She starts packing her things, but suddenly stops when she notices a hot pink flyer on top of her Calculus book. "Oh!" she says, obviously remembering something. "There's this like… talent show tonight at this club Psychoanalysis or some shit that's near here. Well, it isn't really a talent show. More like an open mic night. Want to go?" she asks with a big grin, waving the piece of paper.

You bite your lip. "I don't know if I can get in. I'm only twenty remember." You say with a frown. Mandy's face falls too. For a second, you both contemplate. Suddenly, she snickers.

"So, how badly is Shane avoiding you?" she asks innocuously. You give her a strange look and she shrugs nonchalantly. "There's a VIP section for celebrities. I know he hasn't been on the scene for four years, but he could probably still score some nice passes." She says with a raised eyebrow. You just make a small sound of agreement but don't say anything. "Oh! Did he drive you here today?" she asks, a mocking face coming on. You scrunch up your nose before nodding.

"We don't talk. At all. And it sucks so much." You say with an uncomfortable laugh before getting a little more serious. "And it hurts. Like, I want him to acknowledge that me and him have something and he should break up with the crazy. But he just doesn't. And it sucks. It really sucks. And then some days, I don't even want him either. We are both just so fucking over the place. Damn it." you groan, putting your head in your hands. Mandy frowns and pats your back.

"Okay, we need to get you another guy. Seriously. You cannot get your feelings together. He can't either. He has a girlfriend. You should have a boyfriend. It's only fair." She snickers as you glare at her. You roll your eyes and get up, picking up all your things. "Is he giving you a ride home?" she asks nonchalantly. You sigh and nod, rolling your eyes. She squeezes your elbow softly and gives you an apologetic smile. Walking quickly, you wave at her before going outside. You immediately look for the sports car that is usually at the front of the school. As soon as you see it, you sigh in relief before allowing your body to grow with tension. You wonder how he will react today. Although ever since that last kiss in the park a week ago, you two have not talked much.

"Hey." You clear your throat when you get inside the car. He nods his head, his Raybans on his face sliding down his nose as he moves his head with the music. You laugh slightly and roll your eyes, as he turns down the music - although still moving with the beat. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" you blurt out with a sigh, turning towards him in your seat. His hands on the steering wheel stop and he doesn't move the car in order to stare at you to continue. He's obviously in a good mood, which helps you in this case. He stops moving to look you in the eyes. "Can we just stop? Like, can we stop with the feelings and confusion and the bipolar actions? Can we just start over? Like if we just met?" you say, a bit naively you know but still. You know if you didn't have history, this wouldn't be so hard. "I know you are still pretty pissed that I don't like Jade and said those things to you, but honestly I was acting on emotions. I'm sorry about what I said. But you aren't innocent either. What you said hurt me too. And it sucks because I didn't mean to hurt you and I don't think you meant to hurt me either. So, I think the best thing for us is if we just tried to forget everything and start over." You swallow at the end nervously.

He clicks his tongue, coming out of being still. He turns on the radio again, the new Britney blasting through, and starts moving his body as he drives the car into the road. "Okay." He says, as he looks behind him for any cars coming.

"Okay?" you say surprised. "That's all? No: _'We can't just forget everything that happened._' or '_Don't you think that's too naïve?'_" you wonder, your eyebrows raised. He tilts his head, sending you a calm glance before shrugging. He turns down the radio again as he turns onto another street.

"We can't just forget everything and it is too naïve, but it's for the best. I'm tired of fighting honestly. Maybe we cannot be together because we don't belong together anymore, Mitchie, but I still think you are pretty awesome. I'm sorry I've been a douche." He shrugs again, sending you a small smile. Your eyes widen as you raise an eyebrow. He rolls his eyes. "What? I can't apologize to you ever. Am I that bad? Jeeze." He says, shaking his head.

You bite your lip. "I know you are a good guy, Shane." You whisper. He doesn't say anything as he continues to tap his fingers against the wheel. "So, why are you in such a good mood?" you ask, trying to keep the conversation going. He smiles and shrugs.

"All the money that was stolen is back. I don't know why or how or by who, but I don't care. All I care about is that I don't have to fire anyone and I obviously scared someone. I just have to make sure this never happens ever again, because I don't want to be taken advantaged of either. But… thanks for your advice last week. I didn't know what to do at all. I'm glad I have the business minor around to help me." He gives you a cheeky smile, before looking back at the road.

You look at him, smiling too, before thinking. You should ask him. Mandy would love it, for sure. "Hey Shane…" you start before trailing off. He steals a glance at you before raising his eyebrow at you questioningly. "Do you want to go to this club with me, Mandy and her boyfriend tonight? There's an open mic night thing. Even though I'm not really planning on performing, it will be fun to watch others. We could have a few drinks and dance or whatever. It will be fun." You try to sale it as much as possible. His smile fades somewhat.

His voice is a bit more drawn now. "You sure that's a good idea, Mitchie? Can we do that?" he says. You swallow and shrug nonchalantly.

"I think we can. Do you?" you ask pointedly. He sighs before nodding. He picks up a pack of gum that is in the cup holder and pops a square in his mouth, before offering you one. You take the packet and take one. "It will be fun." You repeat but he still doesn't talk. You chew on the rubbery substance before biting your lip. "We could set guidelines. We can be friends, if we just forgive each other." You remind him. He looks over at you for a second before nodding again. "Like, I forgive you for what you said and for being an asshole in the beginning and for being with Jade." He sends you a glare at that last one but you just smile innocently at him. "You have a girl - that's fine. I don't need a boyfriend right now anyways." You tease. "I have enough between Berkeley and the roomies." You roll your eyes.

He takes a deep breath in before slowly letting it go. "What's happening with UCLA?" he asks, trying to be casual.

You clear your throat. "I'm gonna stay here. I think maybe you were right." You admit sheepishly. He gives you a confused glance. You sigh and try to relax your shoulders, your cheeks slightly red. "I am all over the place. I need to stick with something and just realize that this is what I need to do." You say, pressing your lips together as you look at him. He nods, not taking his eyes of the road. "So, anyways - if you want to go tonight, which I really want you to, I need your number to text you what time we are getting together." You say, remembering the fact you don't have his number.

"It's the same number." He says absentmindedly. You raise your eyebrow at him. "That I had back when we were together. I never changed it." he explains further. You click your tongue and blow a bubble. "You don't remember it, do you?" he asks, looking at you pointedly. You scoff before shaking your head no. He rolls his eyes but tells you the area code and first three numbers.

"Two four six one?" you guess the rest, trying to remember. He laughs and nods. "See, I'm not a complete waste." You slap his arm, smiling with him. He rolls his eyes but you see that they had flashed with something when you had touched him. He is attracted to you. He even told you. As you sit next to him, you realize that you could get him if you really, really tried. He would succumb to being seduced and he would fall for you - easily. Well, maybe with a little work. Do you want him? You thought you didn't. But that was because he was an ass, but he isn't really. Not really - at any time. He was just mad at you before. Sure, he cheated on Jade with Francesca (and you) but he only messed with her to hurt you and he kisses you for God knows what reason. But he cares about his employees and he cares about you. He might not want you as a girlfriend because you are quote unquote too young for him, but you could get him. You know it. Maybe you are being over confident… "Hey, Shane?" you say, trying to test it out. You drop your hand down to his thigh, picking at the demin material. You feel him jump and shiver, looking down at the hand confused. "Where do you buy your clothes? I need jeans to wear." You practically lie.

Well technically, you need clothes, but that's beside the point. He does react to you. You could get him if you want to. "I don't know. Urban Outfitters?" he says, his cheeks getting the lightest pink. You lower your eyebrows. Stuff like that make you think that he is still a virgin and just been trying to fool you this whole time.

You sigh disappointed when you get in front of your apartment. "I really want you to come tonight." You say honestly. "I want to start over. I really think we could be really good friends." You say before opening the door and getting out.

--

_Mandy wants to get together at nine. Do you want Gabe to pick you up and we all ride together in one car?_ You send Shane a text, before turning up the music in your apartment. You dance along to the music, feeling nervous and excited and all around like you are going to Prom all over again. This is what happens when you don't go out much. An outing is huge. Then again, you are excited to do something with Shane. It will be nice to just start over and be friends. You guys can have a few friends and reminisce and dance innocently. You can be friends with him. You want to be friends with him.

_I'll pick you up. What club is it at?_ He texts back. You put your phone down for a second to grab the dress Mandy let you borrow that one time you went to L.A. and never gave back and put it on the bed. You let go of the towel that you had wrapped around your body after you showered and go to the counter to plug in your curling iron. _Psychoanalysis. And great, Shay. Hey, do you want to grab food first?_, you message. You stare at the phone until you get a response.

Is it weird that you now want to really hang out with him? Before it was _avoid, avoid, avoid_ but now? You just want him near. He makes you smile when he's not being all brood-y. You just want to make him smile too. Plus, you are never going to be friends if you cannot hang out innocently. You jump, going to the phone when it lights up. You do realize you are naked, with a curling iron hot and getting ready on the counter. _You sure, Mitchie? Let's not get to crazy. You know what I mean._, he says back. You sigh disappointedly. He thinks you are going to kiss him again, or that he is going to kiss you again. You don't blame himfor thinking that of course. Thinking about it, you have made out more passionately than you have ever done in the past. _Yeah. Why not? We are adults, Shane. We can do dinner and not want to kill each other._, you type back.

This time you set down the phone and go back to put on some underwear. You pick out a nice, matching black set and slip them on, before looking yourself in the mirror. Taking a deep gulp, you nervously pull on the straps of your bra, letting your breasts go up higher and closer together. Then you grab the dress Mandy lent you before letting go of it and getting another dress you have stored in your closet. It is upper thigh-length, loose but not very flow-y. The color is a dark gold, with black outline and a pattern filled with dark circles on the bottom. Your cleavage is prominent as you pull the dress down over your breasts. You bite your lip and grab your high heeled black boots that come up a couple inches below the dress.

Going back to the curling iron, you do your hair before moving on to your makeup. You keep it as natural as possible. Maybe you are going for a little more sexy than usual, but that doesn't mean you have to overdo it. "There might have been a time I would give myself away. Once upon a time I didn't give a damn. But now here we are. So what do you want from me? What do you want from me?" you sing along with the song as your phone vibrates again. You open your phone, opening the text. _Then I'll pick you up in 20._, he writes back. _Will you be ready?_ He asks. You hum along with the music, moving your hips.

_Yep._, you write. You tilt your head back and forth, contemplating before adding a smiley face. As the time goes on, you get more and more nervous. You pull at the hem of the dress, each time tickling your thigh. You start playing with the mix CDs you have been making Caitlyn that you should have sent like two weeks ago but have forgotten. You pick up the one labeled _Mayday Parade - Anywhere But Here_ and put it in your purse. You figured you might as well have some music you like in the car if it's too awkward. Your phone starts vibrating again, and you start getting ready to leave, quickly throwing on your coat.

You grab your purse and phone at the same time, checking the text. You read that he is outside and he asks you if you want him to come up. You quickly text him no, before practically skipping down the stairs. You compose yourself swiftly when you get to the main door, walking much slower and more lady-like. You watch as he gets out of his car anyways, his eyes widening slightly. You look him over as well. He is wearing a red shirt filled with black penciled patterns with a loose gray mono-button vest. On top he has a black leather blazer as well as a feathery gray-ish scarf. Of course, he has the skinny jeans and some sort of high boots. You smile widely, shaking your head at the style that is so undeniably him. "Well, look who looks absolutely gorgeous." He whispers, taking your hand to twirl you. Your breath gets caught in your throat as he looks you up and down slowly. When you meet him dark, almost lust-filled eyes, he freezes and lets go off you. His cheeks turn pink and he clears his throat loudly, scratching the back of his neck. "Um, here." He says uncomfortably, opening your door.

Once he took away the hate that he felt for you for so long, you can tell the attraction for you won him over. You aren't naïve. You know what he means and feels. You aren't being arrogant either. It's pretty obvious by his face. You don't know how to feel about it though. So you smile and climb in the car. "Are you excited?" you ask when he gets in. You give him a big grin, not even allowing him to speak. "I am. I think I'm ready to give California another chance, you know? I think I just needed friends and some place to get away. I guess I was homesick." You shrug, opening the mirror to fix your hair. You are becoming paranoid about how you look and you don't even know why.

He nods, trying to keep his eyes on the road. "I remember when we moved from Jersey to California. It was hard, but then I had support from my family. It wasn't as bad." He muses, scratching his head softly. Your breath gets lodged in your throat again. To tell him or to not to tell him. If you tell him you saw Nate in L.A., he might explode at you and the whole night will be ruined. If you don't, he could find out later and it will be even worse. "What are you thinking, pretty girl?" he asks softly. You shiver at the nickname. The old nickname. He used to call you that everyday. It almost makes tears come to your eyes but you shake them away. You force a smile and shake your head. "We're starting over." he repeats your words from earlier. "We're friends. Everything that happened in the past - the bad _and_ the good - has to be forgotten. We are just two people who have met and are friends now. There was no relationship, no Nate, no Tess, no nothing. Friends. Nothing that could hurt Jade or confuse us. Innocent friends." He keeps repeating friends.

You swallow, clearing your throat. "Friends don't kiss." You remind him. He bites his lip and nods his head. "And they don't sleepover each other's houses, much less in their beds." You add, thinking back to that day. He nods again. "And… I don't know. Anything else to add?" you ask, because really, you two have blurred the line so much, you don't know what belongs where.

"No excessive touching. No talking about feelings or the past. No forgetting that there is a line that has been drawn between what we can and can't do." He says, keeping his eyes on the road. You nod as he rounds the corner to where the club is located. You see about a million people lined up and waiting impatiently, as well as noticing Gabe and Mandy are in her car waiting for you up ahead. Suddenly, his eyebrows lower and he looks at you questioningly. "You aren't overage…" he trails off, his sentence curling into a question although he knows the answer. You give him an innocent smile and let your redish brown hair fall forward.

"Whoops." You provide as he blinks at you. He gives you a look that plainly asks you how are you going to get in then. "I guess I could give the bouncer a lap dance or blow job, but I much rather leave that to you." You say as you open the door while simultaneously breaking one of the rules by squeezing his hard thigh. "Whoa! That sounds so wrong." You muse, getting out the car and waving at Mandy. She smiles back and puts her hand on Gabe's shoulder to get his attention. Shane has already got out of the car, and you whip back to him, your dress coming up a few inches. Your hands immediately go to your sides to push the fabric down as your face reddens. Shane just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

"Come on, pretty girl." He says, putting his arm around your shoulders, breaking the same rule. Oh well. You lean into his chest as you walk, the soft wind prickling your skin as you walk to your friends. Mandy waves at Shane, a smirk on her face as she shakes her head. She nods her head at you before pulling you in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Shane's hand drops to your lower back as Gabe gets out the car. He smiles politely at you as you lean back into Shane.

"Shane, Gabe. Gabe, Shane. This is one of my friends." You say, but you don't know if you just described Shane or Gabe and honestly, you don't even want to know. They shake hands as Mandy links arms with you and pulls you away from Shane's warmth.

"So, Backstreet Boy, can you sneak our little minor through? Or am I gonna have to pull up my skirt?" she teases, looking over her shoulder. You roll your eyes but look over as well. Shane rolls his eyes and just nods. For a second, you wonder if he thinks the only reason you invited him was to get in, to get VIP passes. You want to lie to yourself and say - yes, that's the only reason you invited, but honestly, you want him here. You unlink your arms, throwing Mandy an apologetic smile as you go back to Shane. For the second it takes you to walk over there, someone slaps your ass from behind you. You gasp highly, turning around shocked and offended. You meet the eye of four young, obviously underage boys as well. They are laughing and snickering, but pauses when Shane reaches you. His glare is sharp as he stares down the boys.

"Want your fingers broken?" he threatens angrily, his voice barely above a whisper. The boys raise their eyebrows and take step back. They open their mouths to explain themselves, but you beat them to the punch.

"It's okay, Shane. That was probably the first piece of ass he has ever gotten in his life." You snap, almost a bit haughtily before glaring once more at the now embarrassed and rowdy boys. You turn around, your dress twirling again as you half walk, half skip over to where Mandy is. She gives you a strange look, obviously missing everything. You roll your eyes and shake your head. Shane comes up behind you but stays away from touching you, although he keeps glaring at the boys. You just shrug your shoulders. "Don't worry about it. I went to high school. It's something you just get used to unfortunately." You say, shrugging your shoulders. He purses his lips and gives you a look. You roll your eyes, coming near him since he obviously is stay behind. He raises an eyebrow at you as you go for his hand, hardly even thinking about it.

"No excessive touching, remember?" he says, but doesn't stop you. You pause before shrugging and intertwining your fingers. You are just about to go in the line as Mandy and Gabe get behind some random couple, as the warmth of his skin hits you. You suppress a shiver as you turn back to face him.

"Friend's hold hands." You justify, before going towards the line. You stop when he pulls your hand, shaking his head.

"You invite me here to use me so you don't get carded and then you want to wait in line." He rolls his eyes, gesturing to Mandy and Gabe to follow him. You shrug at them as they confusingly get out of line and follow Shane. He goes all the way to the front, nodding at the bouncer. You watch as the bouncer moves aside and just lets you three in without another glance.

--

It's so hot and sweaty and packed inside the club. People are still getting warmed up for the Open Mic Extravaganza - which mainly consists of getting drunk. The music is loud and wild and never gets to depressing. You dance with Mandy for a long time while Gabe and Shane laugh and do whatever, before finally taking a break. You walk back to the table where the boys are. "Hey. Want a drink?" Shane asks you, practically yelling for you to understand him. He holds out a clear liquid but you shake your head.

"Nah. Last time I drank, I saw someone I didn't really want to see." You let your voice lower, turning away from him. You don't even know why you mentioned that anyways. It just makes you remember that you will eventually have to face Nate face to face. Blowing out air roughly, you watch as your bangs fly up in the air. Suddenly, one of your favorite songs come on and your face lights up. You turn around and smile widely at Shane, who looks at you questioningly. "Let's dance." You suggest, grabbing his forearm and pulling him towards the mass of people. He finishes his drink and follows you out.

Then, you realize you have never, ever danced with a boy. Of course, you have slow danced and you have even grinded with one of your gay friends, but actually moved to a techno song in a club with sweat and sexual tension? Not at all. Your face flushes as he blinks at the fact you have frozen. You just shrug and try to be nonchalant, but he understands you. Chuckling, his fingers go to your waist, digging into the fabric and skin before turning you around. He presses you against his back, putting his arm across your stomach to hold you close. "Move, baby." He orders softly in your ear, making you shiver harshly.

You softly move your body against him, your hips moving in circles as you try avoiding touching him too intimately with your lower body. His cold breath tickles you as he blows on your sweaty neck. He moves with you, squeezing your hips with loose ambition. He is breathing hard suddenly as the songs goes on and you lessen the tension in your body. You shiver when he starts pressing your lower body against yours, his grip become bruising. You gasp loudly and throw your head back as he starts moving your hips harder against his own. He breathes over your neck, making you tingle and crazy. His lips get so close to your skin without actually touching you.

This is too much - way too much. Suddenly, you are ripping yourself out of his arms and going towards the bathroom.

**XXX**

**I'm sorry if there was any mistakes. I'm a little… not well. Actually, I'm really not doing well at all. I haven't cried this much or been this sad for such a long time. So, yeah… I didn't send this to my beta so I'm sorry. Haha.**

**But! Hey! Did you like it?**

**I'm sorry I'm gonna be in Colombia. But someone asked if that means Sabrina will be writing the chapters - to which I say, no! I am. She's just posting.**

**I'm gonna miss you guys. I know that might seem pathetic because I don't even know you, but I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss writing. I remember when it used to just be about what I wrote and felt. It had nothing to do with the plot or how I thought it was going to be perceived. It wasn't about reviews or views or people talking about it. it was about letting my feelings out. Lately I haven't been able to, but when I come back, trust me. Everything will be different.**

**Love you,**

**Sandy.**

**Sab will post at 250. I have a couple of chapters done and i'll work on the rest. thanks for supporting me.**

**Also, I have a new twitter. I deleted my old one. I am now /Sandy2x400. It will have updates and such, and will pertain solely to FF.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

"**Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start. And I bet when you exploded into my heart. And I forget I forget the movie song. When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?" Romeo and Juliet - The Killers**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Twelve

The ride back is quiet, since you are practically falling asleep. You refuse to acknowledge what happened in the club at all, and instead, you prefer to close your eyes. Shane drives so slow that the hum of the car actually lulls you to sleep. You see him blink his eyes before yawning, his grip on the wheel tight as he rounds the corner to your apartment. He stops the car too harshly, skidding loudly. He winces. "Sorry." He mumbles. You just agree with a noise that comes from your throat before putting a hand on his forearm. He stares at you and you forget what you meant to say, until suddenly remembering.

"You should sleep over." you don't know why you say that and apparently neither does he as his eyes widen. "You've been drinking. A lot. And you shouldn't have driven me home. So, sleep over." you slur yourself, unbuckling your seatbelt.

He sighs. "That's against the rules." He quips quietly before turning off the car. "Well, you were supposed to drive, Ms I'm not gonna drink." He points out as you stumble out the car. You pull your dress down harshly as he tries to walk over to you. You trip into his arms but Shane doesn't let you fall. He puts his arm around your waist strongly, letting you lean on him and vice versa. You make it all the way upstairs without much damage. You can do this. You can sleep together in a room. Friends have sleepovers all the time. Boys and girls can be friends. You open the door to the apartment and smirk evilly, suddenly remembering the assholes that are your roommates. You _trip_ over things and you _gasp_ loudly, pretending to be much more drunker than you are. Shane narrows his eyes at you confused. "What are you doing, Mitchie?" he hisses, holding you up. "You had like three shots, not ten." He scolds you and you just laugh.

You pull him close. "Karma's a bitch, Shay. They do it to me practically every day and today! They are trying to sleep. Fuck that." You say letting go of him and going to the couch in the common room. You turn on the crappy television, not putting it too loud but loud enough. He sighs and shakes his head, joining you on the couch. He swings his legs over your lap as you kick your shoes off. You inch up so that you can put your head on his chest, spitting out your hair that gets stuck in your lip gloss. He laughs and pushes it away as his hand goes down your body. You laugh into his chest when you hear Sam throw something at her door, obviously signaling you to shut up.

You roll your eyes and shut off the television. You go back to leaning against his chest, but he starts squirming. You look up and he pushes you up. "Let's go to your bedroom?" his voice is huskier than normal. He clears his throat. "To get out of these clothes. You have any large sweats I can steal for tonight?" he asks you, turning away towards your room. You clear your throat and shove your hand in the air, asking him to help you without a word. He blushes and tries to keep his lower body turned as he helps you up. You don't pay attention - or care - and rather skip, still a little extra noisily to your room.

"Oh, Amy, you aren't here? What a surprise." You say sarcastically as you roll your eyes. You lean against the drawer, suddenly dizzy. He clears his throat and you jump up, remembering your assigned task. You look for the comfy huge sweatpants Caitlyn gave you from her college a million years ago and pass them to Shane. He grunts softly, already taking off the blazer and throwing it on the chair besides your bed. He takes off the vest as well before going to your bathroom. While he is gone, you almost dance around, taking your jewelry off aimlessly. You take off your jacket and set your purse in the same general direction as Shane left his stuff. You grab onto the drawer violently when you lose balance and you just stand there - looking at nothing - until Shane comes back to the room.

He burst out laughing and just shakes his head, breaking your concentration. He comes over to you, putting his large hand on your shoulders. You shiver at the contact and lull your head back, letting it fall on his chest. He laughs quietly this time. "I had fun tonight, Mitchie." He whispers, the alcohol strong in his breath. You feel his naked upper body against your own bare shoulders and upper back. His hands go down your sides slowly, making sure you feel everything. You swallow hard when his hands bunch up some of the yellow fabric before pushing it up your legs and then abruptly letting it go. "Get on the bed. I'll get your pajamas." He whispers. You bite your lip but nod, turning away from him in order to sit on the bed. You dizzily watch him as he grabs random clothes - probably a large shirt and some short-shorts. He comes back to you and you look up at him, asking him what's the next move. "Stand up." He provides, helping you up by putting his hands on your arms.

You gulp as he puts his hands on your hips. Suddenly, they are behind you - unzipping and unzipping and unzipping. You feel ready to explode. All your nerves are screaming and moaning and probably begging for more. You cannot help but let a small whimper out, but Shane ignores it. He keeps the material up by holding both sides of the dress up. He looks at you, his eyes hazy. "Shane…" you whisper but he breaks eye contact.

In one second, he lets the dress fall.

It swooshes to your feet, pooled around your boots. An animalistic growl rumbles in his chest as his eyes devour you. You are momentarily so glad you chose a matching set earlier. When you weren't drunk. You try to focus on the situation, but you just can't. And apparently, neither can he. You can tell just be looking into his eyes that he has forgotten everything from Jade to his own name. "Oh God." He moans breathily, biting his lips roughly. He shivers as he comes a step closer. You squeeze your legs together.

"Jesus." You let out as his fingertip lightly touches your skin. A deep shiver goes through you - so deep, it actually vibrates against his touch. He doesn't react to it, except widening his eyes. Suddenly, he is looking everywhere at once, his arousal so painfully apparent. He growls as he stares at your stomach, breasts, legs. He lets his fingertips go up and down, never really touching but oh, so close to you. He licks his lips as he takes a deep intake of air.

Suddenly, he is staring into your eyes and he's wondering what the hell's going on. You know you have broken so many rules in the last couple minutes, but you just don't care.

He steps away.

But that doesn't agree with you. You want him. You are drunk and out of it, and no man has ever looked at you that way before. You are still a girl. You are still young and vulnerable and you just want someone to want you. And he does! So, you do it. You don't know if it's the alcohol or the feelings or the rules, but you reach behind you and you undo your bra. He takes a deep intake of breath as it slightly falls. It doesn't even go past your arms and it pretty much stays in place. You know for it to fall you (or him) will have to take it off.

But then you are too scared and the liquid courage is failing you. You bite your lip as he just breathes hard. He shakes his head, taking another step back, dizzily stepping into the drawer. He puts a hand to his head and tries to stop the world from spinning. You sit down abruptly and your bra falls a little more, but the fact your arms are almost glued to your sides prevents it from falling. He takes another look at you and swallows deeply. He picks up the forgotten shirt and goes over to you. "Lift your arms." He croaks. You want to tell him that if you do, the bra will slide out of place, but you have forgotten how to even speak.

So you do as you are told.

He closes his eyes tightly for only a second, looking like a kid that looked at the sun for too long but now cannot look away. He reaches forward, almost dropping the shirt. But he doesn't touch you - not even with his fingertips. Instead, he lowers his hand as you awkwardly keep your arms raised. He swallows again before allowing the bra to fall completely. You see his eyes lose focus then and get cloudy, and he starts to shake slightly. He cracks his knuckles, letting the sound break the silence before putting on your shirt. He doesn't even bother with the shorts and just stares at you. This time, he wants you to make the next move.

And as much as you want him…

You instead try to focus in on your thoughts and decide you need to get under covers because it's cold and you are suddenly self conscious and you have never been so naked before in your life in front of a man. He nods after a pause and gets on the small bed as well, choosing to go against the wall again. He awkwardly tries to pull the covers from under his body and a small fight ensues. You just laugh but then feel sick, so you don't laugh again.

You swallow harshly as he squirms next to you and you turn over to face him. His cheeks are bright red; even in the darkness it is perceivable. His eyes go wide as they stare into yours, and you feel sick - so sick. He starts breathing heavily. "Mitchie." he breathes out so softly, almost like a moan. Suddenly, his eyes harden, confident again. You feel your chest heave up and down, suddenly feeling so naked with just a shirt and panties on. He locks his jaw, as his eyes darken with lust. Your heart is beating so fast that you think maybe Sam can hear it. You squeeze your legs together and he groans. You can see his hand itching to touch you.

But…

It's wrong and you know it.

So you bite your bottom lip, fake a smile and roll over in the bed, bidding him a breathy goodnight. You can feel him so much as he falls into his pillow and lets out a slight groan. For a while, he just continues squirming, bringing a blush to your cheeks. Suddenly, your back is pressed against his chest when he just cannot take it anymore. You shut your eyes as tightly as you can as he presses into you, letting out a soft sigh. His hips jerk forward involuntary and you practically jump out of bed, definitely almost killing yourself. The blush is even more apparent now. 'I ha-have to go to the bathroom." You stutter, leaving and tripping over your feet.

You don't go back in the bedroom until he passes out.

--

The next morning, you feel him stir against you. His grip on your waist loosens then tightens and then loosens again. He inhales sharply and groans, hitting his head against the pillow. You do your best to stay still and pretend you are still sleeping. "Fuck." He mutters, letting go of you all together now. He sighs and gets out of the same bed and you hear him walk to the bathroom. Apparently, he didn't shut the door because you can hear him urinate. You scrunch your nose and just dig your face in the covers. When he comes back, he sighs again, like he has no idea what to do.

You swallow but you mouth is too dry. You can feel your lips are cracked and painful as you try to rub them together. He takes his clothes off the chair, putting it on quickly. He takes off the sweatpants you lent him as well, and between narrowed eyelids, take in his muscular thighs and great built. He really is one attractive boy. He slips on his skinny jeans and you almost groan in disappointment. Luckily, you stop yourself from doing so. He winces as his keys make a rather loud sound when they hit the desk by mistake. He bites his lip and doesn't move for a couple seconds. It takes you a while to realize he is still drunk and he is still dizzy. "Shane, get back to bed." You say hoarsely, before trying to clear your throat. "But while you are up, can you get me water?" you ask, rolling over so you don't have to look at his surprised expression.

He moves after a couple more seconds, bringing you a small water bottle from the mini-fridge you and Amy keep. Before he passes it over, he takes a couple sips, obviously parched as well. You sit up on the bed and take the bottle, drinking heartily before sighing in relief. You fall back into bed and he clears his throat. "Mitchie, I have to open the café." He says quickly to your invitation to join you.

You frown. "Ask Stacey or Sabrina. Ask anyone. You are the owner. You can't get fired." You argue, reaching you hand to grab his wrist. He winces again.

He shakes his head, removing your hand at the same time. "Last night…" he trails off. You snap your eyes to his and see the storm behind them. He starts squirming. "Look, after you have slept and are showered and don't look so much like a pretty hot mess, we can talk." He smiles crookedly at you, teasing you. You roll your eyes, and run your hand through your hair to quell the beast of your hair.

"There's nothing to talk about. We didn't cross any lines yesterday. You hardly touched me, except when we were dancing. I mean, dancing requires a little touching. We didn't kiss. You slept over so you would die or get onto TMZ, so it doesn't count. You helped me into some pjs like a good friend would. I lent you some clothes so you would freeze. Nothing even happened. So, I repeat - there's nothing to talk about." You finish with a somewhat forced smile. He blinks at you but nods in resignation. He purses his lips and awkwardly points to the door. You roll your eyes and hide under the covers. "Come to bed." You say, the sheets muffling your voice.

When you peek again, Shane is gone.

--

You go to Black Mamba anyways at around four in the afternoon because you have nothing to do and you need coffee. At least that is what you tell yourself. You aren't here to check up on him or to see him again or anything. You sigh as you open the door, walking in and immediately looking for him. You find him behind the counter, sans blazer and vest, but with the red shirt loose around his body. He looks seriously hung over and completely out of it as he serves some poor guy coffee, almost spilling it on him. He jerks awake - somewhat - when he sees you and for a second you see his eyes widen.

Then, you see Jade walk out of his office. She walks behind him, not seeing you, as she wraps her arms around his body and stands up to kiss his cheek from behind. She mutters something to him and he tries to smile for her benefit but his eyes keep coming to you. You know that if you run right now, it would mean you are doing something wrong. And you aren't. You are friends. You are close friends. If you stay, that means that you aren't doing anything wrong. It means you are just friends.

You brave a smile and walk towards them, Shane's eyes getting wider with every step. "Hi, Jade. Can I speak to you for a second?" you say to her. Her eyes darken as they look at you and you gulp down some fear. You throw a friendly smile at Shane who is obviously panicking. "Hey, aren't you the hot mess?" you throw back his words from earlier before looking back at Jade. You soften your eyes. "Please?' you ask with that innocence you seem to possess.

She swallows uncomfortably, but let's go of Shane. He stands there awkwardly before sighing and moving. He tries to give the same guy coffee again and almost burns himself when the cup runs over. "Oh, jeeze. I'm so sorry." Shane apologizes quickly, taking a rag that is behind the counter and cleaning the counter. "Here. Take a biscotti. I'm so sorry." He repeats, as the man glares at Shane. You roll your eyes and focus on Jade again. She turns her eyes from Shane to you, her expression still on edge.

"What do you want?" she asks, her voice angry and bitter.

You clear you throat, wiping your clammy hands on your thighs. "Look, me and Shane - we aren't good for one another. We used to be, back when we were young and innocent, but now? He's going one speed, I'm going another. He's to the left, I'm to the right. We aren't right for each other, but then I look at the two of you…" you trail off, thinking about the best way to lie. You are a writer. You can do this. "And I see staying power. I see two people trying to work to a common goal. I'm jealous of that - of having someone. But not of you and Shane. I don't want Shane anymore. Actually, I have another guy who likes me and I see all the time." That is a hardcore lie, but oh well. "I just…want us to start over. Me and Shane are trying to be friends, and I really think you and I should be as well." You finish.

You brave a look at her and see her eyes are tentative. She doesn't trust you. Really, you don't blame her. You are lying. "Why?" is all she says, her voice suspicious.

You swallow softly. "Because you seem cool and if Shane is with you, that means you are a good person." You roll your eyes mentally at that one. Shane hears that last line and sends you a subtle look. You don't even respond to him. You don't want to. You know what he has to say. You know that right now you are probably being faker than you have ever been before. You know you are lying and you are doing something wrong. You aren't stupid. "I just don't want us fighting anymore." There. That's a true statement. You don't want to fight with her. You really just want her to disappear.

She shakes her head, laughing silently under her breath. "Do you know how much I hate you?" it barely comes out audible and you know that Shane cannot hear her at all. "My boyfriend only comes to me to have sex or to spend a night or to get dinner. He doesn't talk to me. He doesn't tell me things. He leaves me before I wake to pick up his ex so she can get a ride to school. He doesn't pick up his phone. He doesn't tell me where he goes. He lets me play a gig once a while, and you know how he tells me? In a pointless text." Her voice isn't angry. It's hurt and it makes you pause.

You swallow harsher. "That isn't my fault." You say, dismissing her. Her eyes widen and you feel guilty - but also defensive. "Shane is his own person. He doesn't his own actions. What I can provide for you is the truth." Well, that's a lie. "Me and Shane are friends. Just friends." Another lie. "Obviously you don't want to be friends as well, so that just means you won't come out with us when we go out. Fine but at least I tried to invite you." You say it forcibly and hold your own. She shakes her head at you disgustedly before turning around and going back to Shane's office.

Your heart starts beating so fast suddenly, and you know that you feel bad. You don't know if its guilt or what, but you just feel bad. "You know, you were kind of a bitch." You look up into Shane's tired eyes, but he isn't angry. Just observant. He presses his lips together when you don't say anything. How can you? Every time you look at him, you think about his fingertips touching you. A blush goes on your cheeks when you get a random thought.

For a second, you wish you hadn't stopped. You know it's horrible and terribly cliché to lose your virginity when you are drunk to a guy you think you have feelings for but aren't sure. You know that it's wrong and you want to wait until you are married, but… you can't help but wonder why he didn't continue when he had the chance and you weren't scared. He could have. He could have taken you and done whatever to you. You weren't fighting him. But he stopped. "Why?' you breathe out. He looks at you surprised as he brings a coffee mug up. He sets it in front of you and starts to pour coffee.

"Why were you a bitch?" he asks confused. "I don't know." You shake your head, suddenly feeling your throat close up. You shrug at him, waving the topic away. "Okay. Whatever." He mumbles as he leans against the wall behind him. He closes his eyes. Sabrina has to literally almost climb over him because he won't move. Stacey keeps eyeing him. You know what they are both thinking: Go home! But you can't tell your boss that. So they bite their lip and continue working, cleaning up the messes Shane is making. Jade comes out of the office, this time with her purse. She gives you an icy glare before turning to Shane. You watch as she goes up and surprised Shane, making him come back to the living, as she presses her lips to his. His eyes widen and you can see he is struggling inwardly. He puts his hands on her hips and pushes her away, barely having responded at all. She looks at him hurt and shocked. He rolls his eyes, trying to come up with a lie. "Baby, I told you I'm sick." He says.

She huffs slightly and gives you an even bigger glare, before saying goodbye tersely and leaving. You bite your lip and bring the mug to your lips, taking a sip instead of looking at Shane. He opens his mouth but doesn't say anything. Suddenly, he is grabbing the rag again and starts cleaning an already clean surface. You sit on the stool in front of him and just drink your coffee. You weren't here to check up on him. You were here to drink a cup of coffee and to wake up. That's all.

"Hey." You jump at the voice. A costumer leans in next to you to speak to Shane. Your nostrils flare at the cologne from the man that rests his elbows on the counter. You don't even look at him, waiting for him to order so you and Shane can go back to just being quiet and doing nothing. You watch as Shane takes his notepad off the counter and then looks at the costumer. You watch as Shane's eyes go from uninterested to confused to wide with recognition. "So, I'm here." You lower your eyebrows and finally look at the person.

Your eyes widen and you almost choke on your coffee, definitely burning your tongue. "Nate?" you gasp, blurting out. You watch, almost in slow motion, as the boy turns to look at you. His hair is long again like it was when he was thirteen, but his eyes are older. He is still every bit as handsome as he used to be, if not more. And he's definitely not fifteen anymore.

His eyes flicker with surprise, his mouth parting. "Mitchie?" he says, but you don't stick around. Actually, he hadn't finished your name when you pushed yourself off the counter and started darting towards the door.

**XXX**

**I hope it was acceptable!**

**Just Friends posted either tonight or later.**

**Next chapter at 400!**

**S**


	13. Chapter 13

"**We need medication in this miscommunication. Where did we go wrong? Our conversation's weakened" Foreign Language - Anberlin **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter Thirteen

You tear your eyes away from your younger brother to look at her run out the café. You don't even know why but you follow after her, not even looking at Nate. You reach her just as she steps out the door of the establishment, grabbing her arm. Her eyes are wide when she looks at you and you see fear run through her. "I swear to God, I didn't know he was coming." She immediately says. That takes you by surprise. Does she think he's here for her? She clears her throat, trying to calm down but her face is still flushed. "Let go of me, Shane. I'm not doing this again. I won't be anywhere near him. I don't want you hating me again." She lets out the last part in a whimper, looking down.

You sigh before forcing a smile. "I won't think anything is happening between you two. I've learned my lesson. Plus, even if something…" you trail off, gulping. "Even if something happens, who am I to stop you? You and I are just friends, right?" you repeat her new favorite word. A flash of pain goes in front of her eyes before she nods and tries to smile. Suddenly, she looks serious again.

"B-but nothing will." She stutters, trying to looking you straight in the eyes. She looks back behind you for a couple seconds, shaking her head. "I hate him for destroying everything. Even if it was Tess who lied. I…just… I need to go." She says, wiggling out of your grasp. She turns around, and you can tell she is doing everything not to sprint out in a run. You sigh and watch until she disappears around the corner. Swallowing and running a hand through your thick curly hair, you turn around and go back into the café. As soon as you do, you meet the curious eyes of your brother. Except, they aren't just curious. They are also hard and so foreign and different. You have no idea who he is anymore.

You remember the last time you talked to him; it was the first time in two years - four if you discount the grunts you made when Mom died. It was after Mitchie told you the small park by the café that she and Nate never did anything in. You remember how she pleaded back when you were together, but you were too blinded by lies to care or listen. Four years later, however, hearing the hatred in her own voice along with those same words of proclaimed innocence made you stop. It made you force the issue into your mind again and reexamine it. It made you pace around your apartment, blast the stereo and throw pillows and covers around in fury. Then, it made you pull out your phone and just stare at it.

The next day, you went to your office and told everyone to just leave you alone. Your waitresses obeyed because you are cool and you treat them well. You sat down and finally pulled out your phone. "Hey, man." You said softly into the receiver when the person picked up and said hello. "Can we talk for a few minutes?" you asked, scratching the back of your head.

You heard a deep sigh on the other side before a slight muffled sound like a hand going on top of the phone. _"Stephanie, I'll be right back. It's John. He wants to talk about the new sound._" You heard the voice on the other line. His tone is gentle and loving as he speaks to his fiancée, even though it's so blatantly obvious it's a lie. You waited a couple more seconds as you assume he went to his study and closed the door. "Okay, I'm here." He breathes out gruffly.

You gulped, feeling scared all of a sudden. "I need Nate's number." You said. No point in hiding, right? You brace yourself for yelling and screaming, but none come. Just silence. "Please, Jay? I…I know I've been a jackass. I know I messed up. I… Mitchie is here in San Fran, okay. She is here and she is messing with my mind and she told me she and Nate never did anything and… I think I believe her, but now… honestly, I don't even care." You finally came to the conclusion, your voice thick. "I miss him. He used to be my best friend and… I miss you, Jason. I miss Dad. I miss everything." You were crying by then.

Jason sighed softly. "Oh, Shane." He didn't know what to say, so you tried to shake it off and repeated your earlier demand. "You know this will complicate everything again, right? Nate isn't going to forgive you so easily. He's going to fight you. You know it as well as I do. He's not a little kid anymore either. You missed out on some of the most vital years to him, and when Mom died, you didn't…you weren't there for him. That should have meant more than some girl - I don't care if she is important. I don't care if she was the best thing in the world. You owed more to your brother than that. He needed you and you abandoned him. I couldn't do everything, Shane. I know you reached out to me last year, but this… that wasn't right, Shane Adam." Jason almost scolded. You buried your head in your arms.

"Jason, please." You whispered. He gave in and gave you the number. It took you twenty more minutes but you finally picked up the phone again. Every number felt like you were seconds away from blowing up. When you hear the ringing, you almost throw up.

"Hello?" you bit your lip violently, almost drawing blood. His voice sounded more mature, but also tired and as if he is just waking up.

"Nate?" you had whispered quietly, your voice getting caught in your throat. You hear him take a sharp intake of breath but he didn't say anything. You opened your own mouth at least seven times but nothing came out. Finally, you just breathed out and made yourself speak. "We need to talk." You choked out, before closing your eyes harshly.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" his voice made you shiver; it was hoarse and emotion-filled. "You are seriously calling to talk? I haven't seen you in years and you think you can just call out of the blue to talk. Fuck you, Shane." He yelled but he didn't hang up. You swallowed each time he cursed. The kid you left would never have cursed. He was polite and silent and cute. He was so innocent. So, why did you believe Tess when she told the supposed lies? You are still wondering to this day. Maybe because it was easier than believing she actually loved you as much as you did. Plus, Nate always did have that crush on her…

"I'm sorry." You finally settled on. You don't even care if they did cheat or if they didn't. You miss him. You know it won't be easy, but then, what ever has been? Nate gasped softly and didn't talk again. You know you caught him off guard. "I'm sorry for everything, Nathaniel. And…we need to talk. I was just wondering…if maybe you could stop by my café-" he cut you off then.

"You actually did a café?" you heard the surprise in his voice, as he tries to calm his anger.

You pressed your lips together. "Yeah. I had some help from Uncle Brown, but I got it up and running. I have a couple people that play here too. It's not doing so bad. Anyways…can you stop by? It's in San Francisco and… it doesn't have to be tomorrow or anything. It can be a week from now or a month or whatever, but I think we should talk. I know what I did…what I said could be irreversible but I hope we can just talk. You know what…I don't even care. If you two did anything -" he cut you off again, this time doing nothing to hide his fury.

"Me and Mitchie Torres did absolutely nothing, you asshole." He yelled at you. You could just picture him - tightening his fists, eyes blazing as his ears burned red.

You swallowed harshly again. "I don't care - if you did or you didn't. It was never about you. I just… I can stay mad at her, but me and you? This is ridiculous, Nate and I'm just sorry. Please, let me know if you can stop by, okay." You swallowed your pride and repeat the three words again. "I am sorry." You whispered.

But now, after four years and only hearing his voice once in the last two, you are face to face with your younger brother. His hair is long and curly, like it was a million years ago. His clothing is more like yours - scene and almost hipster. "Should've known you would be messing with Mitchie again. Jason told me she was in San Fran." He says. His voice is much deeper than it used to be; it's slightly scary.

You nod, not knowing what to say as you go back behind the counter. That is, until you process his words. You shake your head, looking down and grabbing the rag. You start cleaning again. "Mitchie isn't my girlfriend. I'm with Jade Laurens. I'll introduce you guys later. She wants to meet you anyways." You say, scrubbing the same spot over and over again.

Nate rolls his eyes and puts his hand over yours. It makes you look up. "Cut the bullshit. You wanted me here. I'm here. Now talk, because I certainly don't have all day for you." He says sharply, his eyes intense. His curly lock falls in front of his face as you turn your chin up and stare at him with the same intense stare. "I'm serious, Shane. You are so damn lucky I came to see you because I almost didn't. You think I want to see your face after all that you have done to me? After all the time begging you to see me, to talk to me. I don't really fucking care if you feel bad now or if you are guilty. You can't just apologize and think I'll be fine with it. But whatever. I'm fair. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and let you try to explain how you could believe some selfish bitch you knew the whole time was trying to get into your pants than your own brother who you _trusted_ with your life. You're pathetic." He spits out, shaking his head disgustedly. You blink at him as he looks you up and down. "You look like shit, by the way. Rough night?" he asks, his voice filled with judgment.

You bite your lip to stop yourself from cursing him out. You just stick up your index finger to signify you want a couple seconds. You turn to Stacey, who is trying hard to not eavesdrop - or at least not look like she is. "Stace, take care of the café today for me. I'll pay you overtime, okay?" you say, gritting your teeth so you don't choke your brother. Her blonde hair falls in front of her face as she nods, her eyes widening at seeing Nate Grey - the lead singer of Nate Grey and the Legislation, the band Nate is fronting now that Connect Three is destroyed. You knew the second you left your brother would continue making music. It's why you still have to fight off the paps randomly - because your little brother is still famous. "Come with me." You say in between the same gritted teeth, trying to smile at him.

His eyes are still stony and cold as he sarcastically gestures for you to lead the way. You watch as he rolls his eyes and looks away with attitude. You grab his collar harshly, making him gasp and look up. "Remember something, Nathaniel: I am still your older brother. No amount of no talking, of hating each other, of anything is gonna change that. I can kick your ass at any point. So lose the attitude, grow the fuck up and try to pretend you the mature one of the group." You say roughly, letting go of him abruptly. He scoffs, pushing you to let go of him.

"Oh because you were so mature." He says bitterly, his eyes flashing.

You shake your head, pressing your lips together. "I wasn't and I know that, Nathanial but I'm trying here. I don't want to mess up things more; I want to fix them, but if you are gonna be a surly little teenager because things didn't go your way, then we can't get anywhere. So please grow up and help me here." You say, slicing the air with your hand. He laughs, his eyes murderous.

"Stop telling me to grow up, Shane!" he says in a furious whisper. He's still famous and has a rep to uphold after all. "You missed that." His voice emphasizes on the first word. "You missed me growing up. You missed my sixteenth birthday, my seventeenth, my eighteenth, my nineteenth. You missed the girls I've dated. You missed the dates I needed to talk about. You missed the songs and the tears and the pain." He's starting to get emotional. You can see that. You can actually see his heart breaking. Four years later, and you still know him like the back of your hand. So why didn't you believe him back then?

"Nate." You sigh, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I truly am. I wasn't thinking. I was barely eighteen and I just wanted peace. I was being thrown this way and that way. All the pressure was being thrown to me and I just… exploded. It took me a couple years but I'm willing to try." You repeat, but Nate knocks your hand away.

"Yeah, and what about when Mom died? You could have tried then, Shane. You should have tried then." He forces that one out, tears gathering in his voice. You sigh again, realizing you are still in the damn café. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he mutters, looking down as a tear falls. You sigh and rub his arm, looking outside for a second.

"C'mon, kid. Let's go somewhere more private." You suggest, looking at the curious eyes that are glued to you.

--

In the end, you end up going to your apartment with him following you reluctantly and bitterly from his car. Now, you are looking at one another from across the table with the same confused and frustrated brown eyes. "How's Frank doing? I talk to him every so often on the phone. He sounds like he's getting so big." You try.

Nate snorts, sending you a glare. "Because you would know with all the time you spend with him." He snaps, crossing your arms. You frown and purse your lips, sighing softly. Nate stomps his foot on the group, repositioning himself on the chair. "I already told you to cut the bullshit. Why did you call me, huh? Because of Mitchie? Is she the one who called me the other day?" he says, suddenly going through his hot red leather jacket. He takes his phone out, going through it quickly before landing on a number and throwing it to you. You look at him confused and barely breathing as you look over the number. One glance and you know it's hers. A flash of pain goes through your face as you set the phone on the table. Nate slams his hand on the table. "I'm not doing anything with her." He repeats exasperatedly.

You wince and throw him back his phone. "I know. Just… memories." You mumble. Nate recoils at that, his eyes narrowing with thought. You force a smile. "Hey, you were betrayed by your brother. I thought I was betrayed by my brother. It hurts just the same." You remind him, swallowing the bile coming up. "Mitchie probably got your number from my office." You say, mostly to yourself. "She probably called because… I don't know actually." You mumble, running your hand your hair with frustration. "That girl is…" you don't even know what else to say.

"Completely manipulative and a total bitch?" you look up, surprised at your brother's harsh tone. You see the anger behind his eyes as he crosses his arms across his chest. You raise an eyebrow at him. Nate slams his foot against the table, shaking his head. "She had no problem letting you believe that we did something." He sees you open your mouth, ready to defend her. "No! Think about it, Shane. She let you think that it happened. She didn't try to change your mind, except in the fucking beginning - which she quickly gave up on. Don't you see it Shane? She got what she needed. She became my friend, not to actually cheat on you but to pretend we were so that she could get ahead. She got her name everywhere. Jesus, isn't she going to some big California college? Jason told me that you told him that she got a full ride or some shit to UCLA, right? Well, funny story, I got a call from the Dean asking if I could perform at the school because one of my _friends_ goes there. Don't you get it, Shane? She's playing you. Again."

You freeze, before shaking your head. "She's a good person." You say, but your voice cracks. You lower your eyebrows as he shakes his head.

"No, man. She isn't. When Mom died, did she try to reach out? No, she didn't. Actually, didn't you tell Jason that she made fun of her? Don't you see it Shane? She's coming into your life and she's getting it for herself and you keep falling for it because you think you love her. Wake up, Shane. She's an evil little innocent looking bitch. You have a girlfriend too, right? Tell me, does she approve of you and Mitchie fucking around like you are? Because I doubt it and I know Mitchie knows that. I was watching her with the blonde - Jade right? - and do you know how fake she was with her? Don't you see she wants the fame back? I bet you has a guitar hidden somewhere so that she can show you she still has talent and she needs help. Or she's gonna tell you that you're worth it and that you should go back to music, and that way you two could magically break through again." He says sarcastically.

Your heart drops. "Stop. You're doing what Tess did to the two of you - telling lies because it's easier than hearing the truth." You say, shaking your head.

He scoffs. "Please. Let me ask you something, Shane - does she want a relationship with you? Does she not want one the next day? It's called mind games, Shane. She's probably getting you all bothered and hot, only to smile and worm out of your arms to tell you that you should go away because you have a girlfriend and it's wrong, right?" he doesn't give you a chance to even speak. "And what's with calling me? I don't give a fuck about that girl. Does she think that I care about her or that we will all get together and sit around the fire and eat cookies? I don't and we won't. She just wants to mess up things between you and me even further because maybe it will get her name in the papers. Wake up, Shane. She's using you. This is real life, Shane, and she knows that. She just wants to get into your head. I bet you she plays you hot and cold all the fucking time. Please, you have a girl that loves you, and you are messing around with some bitch who has a pretty smile. You shouldn't be messing with Mitchie - you should be hating her."

His eyes are burning into yours, showing the all the hate he has for her. You swallow and try to shake your head. "She said…" you clear you throat of the thickness. You can feel something breaking inside of you. "She said that this time it was different. She said that she cared. She said…" you trail off, looking away from your brother.

"That she you would be just friends, didn't she? She said there had to be rules within the two of you, right?" he suggests. You look to him surprised. He shakes his head and sighs. "There were rules between me and her too. Actually, if I remember correctly, they were told right before she tried to get me to sleep with her. Trust me." He says, shaking his head.

You gasp, your eyes opening in horror. "You told me that nothing happened!" you argue, confused and suddenly very hurt.

He scoffs again, shaking his head. "No. I told you nothing happened on my end… but hers? She was trying to get in pants since the day I met her. She never cared about you Shane. She would make fun of you to Caitlyn and tell her all about how she was going to be a star because she was your girlfriend. She tried and succeeded in ripping us apart. She knew she needed an angle to work with, and she got it. She got everything she wanted. She got the college education. She got the reputation. She got the money for the articles. She got everything - except me and that bothered the hell out of her. So she left us both alone - to find her new conquest. Don't you see? That selfish bitch is a complete manipulative vixen and she wants to destroy you Shane. She doesn't love you."

**XXX**

**Thank you so much for all the support. I'm back and posting haha. I still need to write so much more for TUS 14, it's killing me. And I know I promised Santa Baby soon, but it's gonna have to wait until tomorrow or the next day. I know I also have Just Friends - that will come later today, I promise. **

**And to add even more work to myself, because I'm a masochist, I did a new HSM story called **_**And Then There Was You **_**found at http: // www. fanfiction. net/s/56 250 43 /1/ (no spaces) or go to my profile. Thanks for all the support. I love you guys so much. Never forget that. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and will have an amazing New Years.**

**Love,**

**Sandy**

**PS -Next chapter at 465ish. Thank you!!!!!!!!**

**PPS- Thanks Sab for everything!  
**


	14. Chapter 14

"**Then we could scream all night with no resolve still left in sight. Stop saying you're sorry. All of these words feel so very empty." Blame Me! Blame Me! - Anberlin **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 14

You see him immediately, as you run your sweaty palms against the hard material of your jeans. Technically, he's here picking you up - albeit ten minutes late - but he's here. That means whatever Nate told him wasn't too bad, right? He has the window down and you can tell he's wearing the infamous black leather jacket. He is tapping his fingers on the outside of the car, as he waits for you. You sigh lightly, moving towards him, and catch his attention. You freeze when his hard cold gaze lands on you for half a second, before he turns away and turns on the car.

You are stunned - not sure what to even do, until you find it in you to walk again. Taking an audible gulp, you go to the passenger's door and get inside, your shoulders still tense. As soon as the door slams shut, he is racing out, not looking at you. "Shane…" you say, biting your lip as you bring your hand to his. You blink, freezing even more as he literally pushes your hand away before throwing you a dirty look. You swallow and fall back on the seat. Fine. If he wants to be an asshole and not tell you what's going on, that's just fine. He can be a little bitch. You huff softly - but loudly enough for him to hear you as you cross your arms across your chest. What sucks the most is that you cannot help but keep looking at him.

He's looking absolutely…

Delicious.

His eyes are filled with green today - not a lot but enough to make you notice he is wearing a tight emerald shirt underneath the jacket. His hair is spiked up, obviously just freshly cut. His pants are tight, as always, highlighting his thick, strong thighs. It makes you shiver; it makes you shiver a lot. You try to blame it on the air conditioner but you know that isn't the reason. You are attracted to him - and that kills you - but you thought you were both on the same awkward fuck my life boat. You sneak another glance at him, noticing his knuckles are turning white with the way he is squeezing the steering wheel. You sigh, running a hand though your long hair. "Really? Are we really gonna go a step forward just to go ten steps back?" you finally snap, huffing again. He slides his hand off the steering wheel before giving you an icy glare. He doesn't say anything though. You groan loudly. "Un-fucking-believable. I thought we were good."

He snorts, rolling his eyes. "What's good? Kissing and telling each other that we maybe sorta have feelings for each other on some days while wanting to strangle each other the others? Playing mind games? Lying and getting hungover and almost sleeping with each other? Are you serious? That's good? Because if that's good, where the fuck have I been?" he is yelling by the end of it. His eyes keep getting darker and darker with every word, as he grips the wheel.

You swallow again, looking at him confused and naively and scared. "I'm sorry?" it comes out as a question and he rolls his eyes again, digging a hand through his hair. "Seriously, Shane, we were supposed to start over?" you remind him. "We're friends no-" he cuts you off with a laugh.

"Friends don't undress each other, Mitchie. I don't know what kind of friends you have…" he trails off, the implication heavy in his voice but you ignore it.

"It's not even that big of a deal." You argue, suddenly uncomfortable because it is a big deal. You have never been as naked in front of a boy as you had been that day. You know that, but apparently he does not.

He tears his eyes off the road, looking at you in outrage. "I have a girlfriend." He annunciates every word like you are a moron.

Anger goes through you as you ball up your fist. "And whose damn fault is that? It's not mine. If it's such a fucking big deal, break up with her or leave me alone!" you scream before you can stop yourself. He parts his lips at you, his eyebrow raising. Suddenly, the already thick tension triples. The ultimatum is in the air until - "Shane!" you screamed surprised, throwing your hand forward as the car jerks you.

He had slammed the brakes pretty damn hard. He looks at you, lips pressed and anger raging. "Get out." He whispers, his eyes bright. His breath is thick as he glares at you. You look at him in surprise, feeling tears prick your eyes. You know you should get out the car, but you are too selfish.

You cross your arms, trying hold it together. You can feel your bottom lip shaking as you look at him. "No." you try to say fiercely but your voice cracks. "You said that we could be friends - that everything would be forgotten. I'm sorry I said that about Jade. I didn't mean it. I just mean… what the hell did Nate tell you, huh? Because…I'm not the same person, Shane Grey and you know that." You say. He rolls his eyes, unbuckling his seat belt. "What are you doing?" you ask, breaking off while looking at him confused.

"If you won't get out, I'll take you out myself." He threatens pointedly. You bite your lip before raising an eyebrow angrily, arms still crossed. His eyes flash and suddenly, he is actually opening his door and getting out, going to your side by walking in front of the car. Your eyes widen as you look at the deserted street. Well, at least you aren't stopping traffic. You gasp when your door is pulled open but don't move. He growls at you before bringing his upper body in the car to unbuckle you. You struggle against him and suddenly, limbs are fighting. No one actually hits the other, but neither of you are letting the other win. "Mitchie!"

He hooks his fingers in your jean pocket making you shiver as you grab a fistful of his shirt. "Let go of me!" you argue as he tries to pull you out by the arm. You don't know how to stop him and thinking about it, you don't know how this fight will end. So, you act on emotions - like always. You let go of his shirt and string your fingers in his hair, pushing against him to kiss him. Before you even touch his lips, he hisses. You wince, hearing the bang of his head hitting the top of the car. "Jeeze." You moan, biting your lip as he groans in pain and brings his hand to the wound, looking down. "Fuck, Shane. I'm sorry.' You say sincerely, finally just unbuckling yourself.

He pushes your hand away when you try to caress him and he gets out of the car. He runs his hand through his hair, wincing when he touches the rawness. You press your lips together, suddenly scared. You are literally stopped in the middle of the street with an angry boy who doesn't want you in his life for who knows what reason. He turns back to you, biting his lip violently. His eyes are dangerous. "Get out." He whispers again, making shivers run throughout your body.

"Shane…" you say, your voice gentle and a little vulnerable. "What did Nate tell you? Whatever it is, it's not true… or it is and it was just twisted to… Look, just tell me what he said." You give up, struggling with your words. You throw your head back against the head rest and he growls, coming closer to you again. "Shane, please. Talk to me. Don't kick me out. Just talk to me." You try to reason, looking up with wide eyes.

He puts his strong arm on the hood of the car and the other on the car door, trapping you. "Why should I, Mitchie? Huh? Because you have been so trustworthy?" he snaps, his eyes cold. "Why shouldn't I just leave you here on the side of the road, twenty minutes late to your class?" he says, raising an eyebrow.

You swallow harshly, planning your next move but everything is happening too fast for you to even think properly. You know you want to kiss him; it's there nagging you - telling you to touch his lips with your own, to bring him to your apartment, to do anything. But, you want to friends. That was the plan - friends. You can last for more than just one outing, can't you? So instead you clear your throat and get out the car, stopping him by putting a hand on his bicep when he starts to back away. "Because I think that we could be amazing, if you would just let it. We keep hurting each other and it drives us crazy, but at the same time, we could love each other just as greatly. Maybe, we don't belong together and maybe we should only be friends, but that doesn't stop the fact that we would be great together. We could stop the world if we wanted, Shane. You could go back to music…" you change your strategy when you see his eyes narrow. So, music was something Nate mentioned. "Or not. You could just manage people or… what you are doing for Jade? That's amazing. What you're doing for Sabrina, and the girls? That's amazing. You are an amazing person - and okay, maybe I hurt you when I was younger, but I'm not the person. Maybe Nate did tell you all truth, but I thought we were letting all that go. I thought we were gonna start over." you whisper the last part.

His eyes stay hard but he doesn't move away from you. He breathes in deeply before looking away. "I don't know who to believe, okay." His voice is tense, almost distraught. He's my little brother, but you're…" he trails off, before looking back at you. The confusion is clear in his face.

"What did he tell you, Shane?" you ask again, trying to stay calm. Obviously, whatever Nate told him was not good, and it looks like there might have to be some major damage control.

He presses his lips together, before leaning against the car. "Did you ever try to sleep with Nate?" he asks, narrowing his eyes. Your eyes widen, not expecting that. You stare at him for a few seconds, before almost letting a small laugh leave your lip.

"When?" you ask, crossing your arms across your chest. "When he was asking me out and I told him that I liked you? Or when he moved on to my best friend within seconds?" there's almost an amused tone to your voice. You shake your head as something flashes in his eyes. "You're insane. He's insane. I never wanted him. I never really even liked him. I never tried anything. I loved you." You drop your hands and shake your head. "Is that what he told you? That I tried to pull some great seduction scheme on him?" you almost feel like crying after you burst into laughter. You never thought of him that way. You never liked him that way. You were always Shane's.

Always.

He scoffs under his breath, his hand running through his short hair. "Fuck this shit. It's like I don't know who the fuck to trust anymore. My brother is telling me that you are some kind of backstabbing, crazy bitch who just gonna hurt me, and you tell me my brother is a liar." You open your mouth to argue, but he cuts you off. "We're in a Goddamn circle we will never get out of, Mitchie. Don't you see that? Don't you see that we aren't gonna just be magically perfect because we say a few seemingly great words to one another?" he continues, slamming the door shut with so much force. He groans and runs his hands through his hair roughly.

You swallow softly. You reach your hand forward, almost touching his back that is turned to you, before dropping it. "Please, calm down, Shane." You whisper lamely. He turns back to face you, his eyes confused and stormy. "I get it okay. Words aren't doing their job anymore. Apologies and promises to move on aren't stopping the fights. I understand that, but it's because you aren't giving me a chance. What happened in the past - whatever happened in the past - is in the past. You need to forgive me, Shane Grey. You can't keep hating me." Your voice breaks somewhat as you stare at him.

He looks at you for a couple seconds, his eyes getting bright. He tightens his fist before gulping hard. "Don't you see, Mitch? I don't know how to feel. Everyone is pulling me in different directions. Nate is telling me that you can't be trusted. Jade is telling me you are trying to seduce me or something. You're telling me that you can be trusted and you just want to be friend." He sighs loudly, the frustrating confusion obvious in his face. "So, you see my problem here, Mitchie. I don't know how to feel, and people aren't making it better." His voice touches some sort of hysterics as it starts breaking with emotion.

You rub your arm roughly. "Forget what people are telling you, Shane. Maybe it's cliché and cheesy, but you ever think to follow your heart? Follow your gut, Shane. If you want me gone, fine. If you want me around, fine also. But don't decide that based on a bitter brother you haven't spoken to in years or a jealous girlfriend." You say firmly. He just stares at you. You sigh. "I just want to be your friend, Shane." You whisper.

Suddenly, his eyes soften and his shoulders begin to relax. He sighs raggedly, as if he was holding it in for a long time. "Friends don't tell friends to break up with their girlfriends." Is all he says, looking you in the eyes. You swallow softly before looking away. You lean against the closed car door and after a while, he comes back to you. You blink at him surprised as he opens the car door for you and waits for you to step in. "Come on. Skip class today. We need to talk and have the words actually mean something. We need the actions to speak for us, Mitchie. No more of this bullshit."

--

He takes you to a bar. True, it's only four in the afternoon, but you do not complain. He tells you it's because of the onion rings they sell there, but you wonder if maybe he needs some liquid courage to have this conversation. Honestly, you are nervous, but a part of you is convinced nothing will change tonight. All you want to be is his friend, but -

Fucking Nate Grey.

You tighten your fists as you walk to the booth. You cannot imagine what he said to Shane, but you obviously can tell it wasn't a standing recommendation. When you called him, you wanted to apologize - maybe explain after all these years that what he thought wasn't true and that signals were mixed. But now? Now you would call him purely to have the most amazing bitch session you could muster. You wish you could tear him apart. He's seriously just what you needed. Oh, are you trying to start a new relationship with Shane Grey? Well, can't have that be smooth. Here - have Nate Grey. He's the biggest speed bump you will ever meet.

You sigh through the pout that has gone on your lips as you sit down. Shane looks up questioning, his eyes coming out of the storm he was in a second ago. You cross your arms. "Did you know that I didn't even like you that much when I first met you? You were arrogant and you made fun of me and treated me like I was beneath you. Nate was nice to me, on the other hand. He cared about what I said and what I needed. But you know who I would constantly be staring at? Who I would literally pause my life for a few minutes to talk to? Who I would argue just so I could speak with? Nate was cute and adorable - like a puppy." You sit up in the booth, leaning in. "He was a cute little best friend, but his brother? His brother made me feel things I never felt before. His brother made the butterflies in my stomach that have never flown again. His brother is the one I fell head over heels for. I never tried to sleep with him. I never cheated on you. I was sixteen years old and I was _so_ in love with you." You lean back, hitting the seat hard.

He presses his lips together. "Mitchie-" he starts, but you wave him off.

"No, let me finish." You say, before running a hand through your hair. You sigh hard as you remember the memories. "It was the day before Final Jam and Tess really wanted to win. She thought that since I had an unfair advantage over her because I dating you that meant that it would be okay to sabotage me. Plus, she loved you too." You say pointedly. "But then every girl did. You were Shane Grey. You weren't some guy or some kid that a girl could get over in seconds. You were the kind of guy to fight for - and fight dirty. She fed into your insecurities. She played with your feelings. She saw a hole and ripped a new one. She took a chance and she got lucky. When you confronted me, I knew anything I would say would seem like a lie. I mean, we didn't even know each other that well but we thought we were so in love. You were on tour and I was hurt and left out. It would have made sense for me to appear like I was cheating so that I could get some comfort, but trust me when I say that the only lips I found comfort in were yours." You talk to him, looking straight in his eyes.

He breathes in deeply, eyes still glued on yours. "You were so beautiful, you know that. I mean, you still are obviously, but back then, I was new to the scene. And you were so innocent and perfect. I felt like you were water that I was trying to cup in my hands. I thought I could lose you in seconds, and when Tess told me she saw you with another guy, I believed her. When she told me it was with Nate… I believed her. You trusted him more, and he was so into you. I always thought it was a harmless crush, but that day - I thought it powerful enough to make me lose you forever. Then the article came out-" he tilts his head, but you cut him off.

"The article was bullshit. I never wanted fame, Shane. Half of the shit they posted I didn't even say, but what was I going to do? Call my P.R. and make them change it? I was sixteen years old and half the girls in the world blamed me for breaking up Connect Three. I was the Yoko when I didn't even try to be. I never wanted to drive a wedge through you guys. I loved you so much, and I was so in awe of you. But you believed her so easily. You didn't question her. You let her rip us apart, and more, you let her kill you and Nate's little bromance you had going on. If anyone should be hated, it should be Tess." You finish with a scoff, looking down.

"I love you too much - loved you." He corrects himself immediately. "I didn't know how to keep you around forever. I didn't know how to handle myself in the public, knowing that I couldn't hold your hand or kiss you when we walked down to get ice cream. I was scared of my feelings and I let myself destroy them before I could die in them. I pushed everyone away because I was scared. I was called the lead singer of the worst band of America. I was loved by girls who hadn't even fully matured yet. I was tempted by drugs and lies and anger. I was sucked into Hollywood and I didn't want to be anymore. So I pushed and I pushed until I realized I couldn't reach anyone anymore to push. I hid." He looks down ashamed, eyes bright. "I ruined everything." He whispers so inaudibly.

You bite your lip before sliding out of your booth and going to his. You breathe out as you put your hand over his. "You didn't ruin everything. Nate's just bitter. Let me and him have it out and get close to kicking each other's asses and then we'll get things settled. You could rebuild. Call Jason. Go out and do your own thing. I think you have to Shane. I think it's time for you to return to facing your fears. You are a force to be reckoned with musically. You can do this. I will be there for you. You just need to believe in yourself. And me? I…I just want to start over. I'm tired of fighting with you. I want us to truly start over." You emphasize.

He bites his lip, before looking down to your hands that are still touching. "You know, I avoided any kind of brunette after you. Any time I saw a pretty girl with brown eyes like yours, I ran away from. Whenever I saw those damn boots you used to always wear, I would freeze and turn away." He whispers quietly. "I like, took myself away from love because love screwed me over with you. You were my perfect first serious girlfriend, baby, and when we broke up, I lost something. And now, you're back and just like that, I cannot keep away." He continues. You do not know how to respond so instead you look at your hands. He softly lifts his own hand and you go to take yours off, but he doesn't let you. He intertwines your fingers gently instead. "Do you think they're still something between us? I mean, one day I'm fighting for you and the other it's vice versa. Do you think it's just a game or is there something actually there?" he tilts his head to look you in the eyes.

You open your mouth to say something, but you find your throat too dry. You try to clear it but he squeezes your hand. He's driving you insane. The butterflies in your stomach seem to have remembered they need to fly and destroy your insides. Your heart is racing as he bring his other arm on the table as well, angling his body towards you. "You're tired of fighting with me, right?" he says, repeating your words. "I'm so tired of fighting with you. I'm tired of not knowing whom to believe, but…" he closes his eyes momentarily. "I believe you, okay. Or I want to, and that's a start. I just want to know what you feel." He nudges you but you just cannot vocalize. Your body has completely frozen over. He looks into your wide eyes before sighing. His eyes darken and he narrows them. "Fine, be that way." He says exasperatedly, as he turns away from you, thrusting his hand forward annoyed.

In the middle of his actions, you make your body move. You reach up and push down his shoulder so that you have easier access to his face. You aim for his lips but since he was moving at that moment, you press your lips on his cheek. He gasps as you bring your hand up his chest up to his neck. You softly cup his other cheek as you alleviate the pressure of the kiss before kissing his cheek again, this time closer to his lips. He moans softly before untangling your hands and bringing it to your neck. His other arm goes around your waist awkwardly, as you shift your body so that it's more angled towards him.

That's when your lips find his.

It's a gentle kiss. It's a confused kiss. It's a short kiss, but it's a kiss. His lips press against yours softly, and a bolt of electricity runs through you. You shiver softly as traces a pattern on your neck with his fingers. You dig your hand into his short hair, pulling him closer. He moans in your mouth, before taking your bottom lips in his. He sucks on it and you sigh lightly. "Oh! Sorry." You immediately rip your lips from Shane, looking wide eyed at who interrupted you. The waitress has a pink tint to her cheeks as she awkwardly tries to look away. "I'll just come back later." She mutters before abruptly leaving.

You sigh harshly before embarrassingly turning back to Shane, but he's not looking at you. He is staring at the table, looking sadder than you have ever seen him. You clear your throat, before realizing he still has his arm around your shoulder. You move in closer to him and lay your head on his chest. "I think we're making this a million times more complicated than we have to." You whisper, bringing your arm to his back. You hug him as he sighs, before putting his chin on top of your head.

"Okay. But where does that leave us?" he says pointedly, the frustration clear on his voice.

You untangle yourself from him. "I think that leaves us sixteen and seventeen again - not knowing what the hell to do." You joke with a small smile. He rolls his eyes. _"I'm serious."_ He mouths, looking you a bit annoyed. Your smile fades. "Shane. I don't know where that leaves us. For like a year, I could function without you - but I could. I made myself function. I got a boyfriend and new friends and then I moved to a new state and enrolled in a new school. All without you… but now… It feels like I have to see you again. It literally feels like I'm sixteen again, and I need to see your face before I go insane some days." You say almost angrily, a pout on your face. You sigh deeply before looking him in his confused and frustrated eyes. "I want you. Plain and simple." You admit it out loud. His eyes widen and he just stares at you. You swear you can almost hear his heart beating. "And…" you throat is so dry, your voice sounds extremely rough. "And I know you want me too. I can see it in the way you act with me and around me. You hide in Jade but… are you living Shane? Or are you just doing the easy way, because the hard way screwed you over. She's convenience, and that's not fair to you and it's definitely not fair to her or to me. You have to choose. You have to choose between wanting a life that means something or wanting a life that is easy." You say with some difficulty.

You are scared he will blow up at you again, but instead all he does is look away. "You know I want you, Mitchie." He mumbles, sighing. "That's not the problem. The problem is that I still don't know if this is a game to you or not." He says dejectedly. You go to say something, scoffing somewhat but he cuts you off. "No. it's too late now. Let's take you home. I don't know why we're in a bar anyways. It's still light out for Christ's sake." He mutters as he nudges you softly to get out. You want to stay there, but eventually you just comply, following him to his car.

What you don't know is that in the booth right behind you was a blonde haired girl, listening to every word.

--

"I think we overanalyze us too much." You say as he drives. He sneaks a glance at you, raising an eyebrow. You clear your throat, a slight blush going on your face. "I mean, we agonize over the past and we yell and we make out and we talk, but we never do anything fun. Or when we do, we…" you pause, blushing harder now.

"We end up in bed?" he suggests with an eyebrow raised.

You breathe in deeply. "Something like that." You mumble. "What I mean is, let's actually stop the fighting bit, okay. I want to be your friend. I remember what it was to be it, and I miss it. We used to be so much fun, and I want that again. It wasn't about intensity or sex or craziness. It was just about Shane and Mitchie hanging out and getting the most of it. We need to stop letting others dictate how we live." You say as he rounds the corner onto your street. He nods, but doesn't look convinced. "Come inside." You suggest sheepishly. "We can have coffee. I can make us something. I don't know. I just want to be with you." You admit bravely.

He raises his eyebrow as he parks.

"Or maybe we can talk in the car for a while, and then we'll see, okay? I just… this isn't a game to me, Shane. It's real life. I'm just confused how to live it." you whisper, looking away awkwardly. He sighs and takes his key out of the ignition. "Please?" you ask, pleading with your eyes.

He lets a smile go on his face for a couple seconds. He brings his fingers to your chin before angling it up. He leans in, keeping eye contact with you - almost asking permission. Your breathe gets lodged in your throat and you nod at whatever he's asking. He sighs softly before connecting your lips again for a split second. Then, he went back to his side of the car while you are left tingling and wanting more. You flutter open your eyes, looking at him shocked. He swallows nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Oh man." He laughs a bit hysterically. "I'll break up with her." He says, admitting defeat apparently.

Your heart stops for a couple seconds as you look at him shocked. "You will?" you ask surprised. He rolls his eyes before glaring at you. You clear your throat again and look down. "Okay. Good. I think you deserve better. I think that if you let go of the hatred you had or have for me or whatever, plus some _unnecessary_ people then you can fight your demons. You won't be boggled down with so much. I'll talk to Nate and try to get thinks fixed, and then we can be happy. We can all just be happy and then no drama which you know, good." You ramble and he sighs.

"You know something honey? You are quite naïve." He says, but he says it with a smile. You pout at him and he brings his arm to the back of your headrest. He brushes your hair back gently. "I want you too, Mitchie, but I just don't the drama." He says, his eyes searching yours. "And I don't know if we can avoid drama if we just jump into this. I don't even know if I want to be with you. You're still just a girl. I need stability. I told you that already." He says, removing his hand. You breathe in deeply, sitting up further.

"I can be stable, Shane. You just have to give me a chance." You say, leaning on the headrest. He bites his lip and looks away. You bring your hand to his knee, squeezing it lightly, before trailing your fingers up his thigh. You hear him take a sharp intake of breath before looking at you with wide eyes. You take your fingers off quickly before opening your door. "Come on, Shane. Let's go inside." You call over your shoulder as your heart beats quicker. He just stares at your retreating figure for a couple of second before finally getting out. His long legs swiftly catch up to you, and he stays a step behind you. You shiver when you feel his finger on your lower back before they curl around your waist.

That's when something strange hits you. A feeling goes through your body and it makes you freeze. "Mitchie?" Shane whispers, raising an eyebrow. You look at him, dismissing him quickly as you turn back to your apartment building. You race inside, waiting impatiently for him as you hold open the front door. He looks at your strangely again, but you ignore him. Your heart starts beating fast again, but not in the same way it did with Shane. You can feel it in your bones - something happened. "Mitchie. What's wrong?" his voice is alert. You climb the stairs rather quickly.

"Noth…" you trail off mid word as you look at your apartment door. It is ajar, the lock obviously tampered with. You don't take any other second before pushing the door and going inside. "Sam? Amy?" you call out but no one answers. The first thing you notice when you get inside is that nothing in the common room is out of place. You gulp confused and start to go to your room, when Shane stops you. You look down to your wrist where he grabbed you before looking up at his face. His eyes are dark and he is tense.

"Are you insane?" he says between gritted teeth. You start sputtering, feeling tears come up. You feel violated somehow, and you don't even know what happened yet. His jaw is set as he pushes past you, opening your door. You watch as his back tenses even more and he takes another sharp breath. You immediately go to him, pulling at his shoulder to make you past. "Mitchie." He tries to protect you, holding you back.

But you already saw.

"Oh, my God." You let out softly before slipping past him. You notice two things right away. First, Amy's side is relatively untouched, and second, yours is anything but. Your eyes sweep across your bed, your floor, your walls, your night-table - everything. You feel tears prick your eyes as you take a step forward. You freeze when you hear the sound of glass breaking and you look down to your feet. Slowly you bend down, picking up a small music box that is now just shards of glass. Next to it, lays countless pages from your notebook, filled with lyrics, ripped and crinkled. Your sheets from your bed lays cut up and stained with who knows what. Your jewelry box is turned over, everything on the floor - except not everything. You go through the things, picking up the broken necklaces and mix-matched earrings.

"Mitchie?" Shane whispers, coming close to you.

"My grandmother's bracelet isn't here." You say, almost calmly. You are in shock right now. You cannot even muster up anger. You just look at what used to be your bedroom. You go back to your torn notebook, seeing if you can salvage anything - but don't actually try to save it. You finally notice your computer has been stepped on harshly, cracked and broken completely. You lightly put your fingers over it, staring at it like it isn't real.

"Shit." Shane curses, but he isn't looking at you. You numbly look over at him and he looks at you with wide eyes. He has a piece of paper in his hands. You stand up wearily, almost falling. You take the page from his hands and just stare at it. Suddenly, feelings return - and the one feeling that over powers the other is fear. Pure, unadulterated fear.

"Oh, God." You let out of your mouth as you read the words again and again, but each time, they make less sense.

_Mitchie_

_Leave this state, because if you don't, it will only get worse. Trust me. Next time, I'll come when I know you are home, and it won't be pretty. No one can protect you - I promise you that. Get out!_

_Love,_

_The Person Who Hates You Most. _

"This is Mark, Mitchie." Shane says, as he starts breathing heavily. He tightens his fists, the anger plain on his face. "I'm going to kill this mother fucker." He says through gritted teeth. "I'm going to rip him apart." He continues in the same tone until he sees your face. "Mitchie." He breathes out, his eyes softening as he brings you into a hug. "Hey, it's okay." He says. "Stop shaking. I'm here." He rubs your arms, pressing his lips to your hair. You grab a fist full of his shirt, suddenly realizing you are sobbing. "It's okay." He whispers repeatedly, rubbing your back now.

"What am I going to do? I can't stay here." You say shakily, gesturing to your ruined place. He sighs and shakes his head.

"I don't want you staying here. I would never let you. We're going to call the police, okay? For now, you can stay at my place. Come on." He says, interlacing your fingers again. You wipe your eyes furiously, looking at him confused. You are still in shock and still scared. He brings his hands up to your face, keeping eye contact. You breathe out softly, almost relaxing as he leans in and kisses your lips softly. "Come on. I'll protect you, my girl."

**XXX**

**So. Finally, huh? Two weeks for this chapter… Well I had a few problems. First, I was traveling so I couldn't spend time writing - as much as that pains me. Second, I got an interesting review from a "concern reader" that kinda made me pause. It said my story reflected my title and was undeveloped. Um. Ok. And that I need to spend more time writing on it because I need to develop more. So I didn't post in a week like usual. You ask, you receive. I spent two weeks on this baby, as well as developing my characters. Is that better? Or you would want me to spend four weeks next time? Maybe I can post ever month and half and fully develop my characters? If you're gonna flame me, please don't put it down as "Concern Reader" - just saying.**

**So it's up to you guys. I can either post like I usually do, stressing myself and straining myself to post for you guys once a week, or I can take a break and post every two weeks. I mean, if these chapters have been so bad that they deserve a flame, well. Then…? Up to you guys I guess.**

**But I know a lot of you wanted this chapter, so it was longer than normal and everything. Please, review. I love you guys.**

**Next chapter at 510.**

**Sandra. **

**PS - Thanks for all the positive reviews. They mean a lot.**


	15. Chapter 15

"**It's the way that he makes you feel. It's the way that he kisses you. It's the way that he makes you fall in love." Pretty Girl (The Way) - Sugarcult**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 15

You just stare at him. He looks like an angel, lying there with his eyes sweetly closed and his hair half curly, half smooched. His fingers trace the skin of your exposed waist lazily as his breathing gets more relaxed. You know he is about to fall asleep. You suppose you should wake him up and tell him to go to his bed, and that the floor with just a couple of sheets isn't the best comfort, but you don't want him to go. You are still a little scared and shaken up, especially after talking to the police. They agreed with Shane that you should probably stay out of your apartment for a few days, and they went over to it to warn Amy and Sam of the new developments with Shane. He brought you some clothes, as well as your showering things - presumably told to him by one of the girls. You were both so exhausted when he got back that you just wordlessly made a makeshift bed on the floor before laying on it and watching cartoons for fifteen minutes.

That's when you started crying. Shane sighed and scooted closer to you, before bringing you to his chest. You whimpered and sobbed about your bracelet, your notebooks, and your violation. He just held you, repeating that he will protect you and that you are okay now - that those things were just material possessions and that he's glad that you are alright. You nodded, but internally know that you aren't okay. Obviously, Mark will be back. He said so in the letter. The police said they would find him, but what happens until they do? Do you hide out in Shane's your whole life? What about Jade? When is he going to break up with her? And Nate?

Fuck. Just…fuck.

The thoughts and feelings swirling around almost made your head explode, but Shane continued to hold you. Right now, you don't blame him for dozing off. You continue to watch him as he starts to breathe evenly, his hand slipping from your waist. You shiver as your skin meets the cold air again, and you shuffle closer to him. Are you together now? You don't know. All you know is that you are scared and he is the only one that makes you feel better. You breathe out softly as he brings his arm back around you unconsciously. You move in even closer, loving the way his skin radiates heat. You like him this way. No drama. No pain or confusion or yells. Just heat and quietness.

You bring your fingers to his hair, gently running them through his shorten locks. You like that he has cut his hair. It makes him look more mature and a little surer of himself. Plus, it makes him look amazing. He could be the world's heartthrob again, if he wanted to. You bet his voice hasn't diminished whatsoever. He could be Shane Grey again.

You swallow back tears as you start to get afraid again, and try to keep your mind on how to get Shane to go to a record label and try to get a contract again. You put your head on his arm, wiping your eyes on his long sleeve. You wrap your own arm around his waist, and he moans softly before bringing you closer. You close your eyes as your bodies press together momentarily before separating. He brings his lips to your neck softly. "You okay, baby?" he asks hoarsely, obviously exhausted.

"Shh." You try to say, but the tears in your voice betray you. He breathes against your skin before pushing himself up. You swallow before doing the same, keeping your weight on your arms as he goes on his knees. "I'm fine, Shane." You try to convince him but he shakes his head. He puts his hands on his lower back. "You should go to your bed. I'll sleep on the couch." You suggest as you bring yourself to it. He just shakes his head before nodding over to his bedroom, outstretching his hand. You swallow as you look at it. Are you two together now? It seems like nothing was answered. "Shane." You whisper, looking at him with wide, teary eyes.

He lowers his eyebrows, obviously not sure as to what to do with crying girls. "We can watch something else if you want. A movie maybe?" he suggests, putting his weight on his right foot as he tries to fight off a yawn. You press your lips together and shake your head, before bravely standing up and putting your small hand in his huge one. He sort of smiles at you before leading you into his bedroom. It's too dark to even really see where you are going but you don't say anything. He picks up a bag, presumably with your things, and puts it on the bed. You awkwardly stand in front of the bed as you wait for him to give it to you.

Instead, he stands in front of you, his hands on your body.

Your eyes widen and you almost let out a gasp as his fingers dance under your shirt before tugging at the hem. Suddenly, he is lifting it over your head, and you are left wondering what's going on. You know it's too dark for him to even see anything, but it still doesn't make you calm. His fingers trace your waist before going to your lower back and then sliding up to your bra. He softly unhooks it before letting it fall. You literally don't breathe as his fingers go now to your waist again then to your tummy and finally to your belly button and belt buckle. He undoes it gently, taking his time. You start to shake, the cold making you shiver - as well the feelings he's creating. "Shh. I'm not going to hurt you." He comforts you in a tender voice. "I'm not going to push you into anything." He continues as he takes off your belt. Suddenly, he is undoing your jeans. You close your eyes as the rough material leaves you skin, the cold attacking it immediately.

You snap open your eyes as he reaches in the duffle bag, pulling out a shirt. He helps you put it on, his fingers lingering in places until they slip down to your expose thighs. "Shane." You whimper, a little scared, a little not so scared. You can feel your legs start to tingle as he gently runs his fingers on your cold skin.

"You're freezing." He comments softly, before squeezing your thighs lightly. Suddenly, he lets go of them before bringing his hands up quickly, pushing up your shirt as he stops them mid-back. "You're safe with me, Mitchie." He whispers as he brings his head closer to yours. You shiver and gulp as he presses his lips to yours, taking his hands out from under your shirt abruptly. He lays them on your hips, outside the material this time before pulling away from you. "Come. Get your butt in bed." He mutters, squeezing the back of your thigh this time. You shiver harder and almost push him away.

"Shane." You say, definitely wide eyed. He pauses, tensing at your tone.

"What? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" he says, almost frantically. You can see the outline of him as he comes closer to you again. You clear your throat, a blush coming to your face. It's a good thing he cannot see you because it would only make you even more embarrassed.

"Look. I was drunk when I let you… I mean, you're you so I… I don't usually let guys… you can't just undress… I'm not having sex with you." You finally decide on, even though it's as strained as the rest of your starts. "I mean, I've never done that before, and I don't know if I'm ready for a sexual relationship. I don't want to give that away unless I know for sure that it means something to you. I know you and Jade were obviously doing it and that's fine, but I'm not that type of girl. But you make me that type of girl and that scares me because I'm sharing a bed with you and I don't want to have sex with you and I'm scared and you're really hot and I'm really inexperienced and - Oh my God!" you stop mid-ramble, gasping loudly. You swear your blood runs cold.

"Mitchie." He tries to interject, his voice verging on shocked.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God." You keep repeating. You run your hands through your hair roughly. "We need to go to my apartment. Now." You say, thoroughly freaking out. He backs away.

"Mitchie. I'm not going to force you into sex. It isn't about that with us. You don't have to leave. I'll sleep on the damn couch if it bothers you that much, but I don't want you there right now. It's safer here." He says as you try to find your jeans on the floor. You shake your head, even though he cannot see it. "Mitchie! Stop." He says exasperatedly as he grabs your wrist. You whimper as you try to get out of it, your eyes stinging with tears.

"Our guitar, Shane." You let out of your mouth in a small voice.

"What?" he breathes out, obviously confused.

"I didn't check for our guitar. I was too distracted by the things that were broken that I didn't remember the things I had stored away. Our guitar. My guitar. It means the world to me, Shane and if it's ruined… if it's destroyed, I can't…" you cannot even breathe. You are practically gasping, still trying to find your pants. You hear him sigh harshly.

"Oh, Mitchie." He chokes out. He tightens his grip on you when you try to get out of it. "Not tonight, baby. We'll go tomorrow first thing, but it's dangerous tonight. Plus, Amy wasn't exactly ecstatic with you." You start to protest but get cut off by his lips. You groan in the kiss, trying to pull away but finding yourself leaning into his comfort. "Please, Mitch. Let's go to bed. Tomorrow I will look for it, and if it's destroy or whatever, I'll get it fixed. Where did you have it?" he asks gently, rubbing your back.

You hiccup slightly. "In the closet. It was near Amy's things, so maybe Mark thought it was hers. Maybe it's not even touched." You say, slight hope in your voice.

He breathes out softly in relief. "See. Then, tomorrow when I go, I'll bring it back safe and sound. I promise." He says, putting his hand on your side. "Now, come on baby. To bed." He says, his fingers tracing patterns again. He guides you over to the comfy pillows before helping you lay down and then climbing in with you. You feel like crying again as he holds you to his chest, his arms and body warming you up.

--

You wake up in an unfamiliar bed, yet it's the fact that you woke up alone that makes you more uncomfortable. Moaning slightly, you stretch your limbs before climbing out of bed. "Um, Shane?" you call out, walking a few feet from the bed. When you hear no answer, you go into the living room and find no one. Frowning, you cross your arms across your chest awkwardly, before going to his kitchen. Thinking you might as well make something, you go over to the fridge, where you find a note magnet-ed to it. _Mitchie_, it's addressed. You pull it down, unfolding it as you open the fridge.

_I hope I'm here before you wake up, but if not, I hope you get hungry and come to the fridge. I probably should have left this next to your bed, but jeeze woman, you're such a light sleeper. I didn't want to wake you up like the ten billion times I did last night by mistake. I swear, I'm usually not that shuffle-y. But whatever. The point is I had to go to Black Mamba to make sure everything is peachy, and I will be stopping at your apartment as well. I stole the keys from your purse, so don't hate me or whatever. There's food in the fridge, but if you wait until like ten, I will come home and we can go to a diner or something. I don't want you going out alone, until this is solve, okay. I don't mean to be a pain in the ass, but I worry about you. If you want, have Mandy over or some shit. I don't know. You were upset last night, and I know you don't need to be alone right now. But again, I'll be there at ten. Please be careful. I don't want anything happening at you, and the way you attract trouble, I'm sure it will find it anyways._

_Yeah, I'm totally rolling my eyes at you._

_Talk to you soon, _

_Shane._

You smile somewhat. Though the fear and creeped-out-ness, it's easy to forget about happy times. You and Shane have been in this back and forth thing for so long, you didn't think that he could make you smile. Obviously, he makes you wide eyed and he's mouth watering, but sex is not in the same wave length as just being happy and smiling. Can he do that? After all the bullshit pain you have inflicted on another? Maybe. Maybe not. But lately - aka since yesterday afternoon where he held you and listen to you cry - you think that maybe he will make you happy.

You know what you asked him to do was wrong. You shouldn't have told him to break up with Jade. What does it mean now? If he does break up with Jade, does that mean you and him are going to be racing to the alter? Because you aren't ready for an intense relationship right now. You just moved from three thousand miles away and your apartment was just trashed. Really, you just want to feel safe, and it's been quite a while since you felt that way. Then again, it's been quite a while since you felt anything for a guy. He's pretty much perfect, after you take away the hatred he had for you. He cares so much about his workers and his café and his regrets and his problems. He cares with all his heart, which is how people are supposed to live. So technically, it is not fair to Jade that Shane will not give her his all. But does that mean that he will not give you his all? He didn't even choose to break up with her; you chose it for him.

Is he doing it to be with you or because he needed to anyways? And if it is to be with you, do you want to be with him?

You groan out loud, digging your hands through your hair as you drag yourself to the couch. Yawning, you flip on the television, opting to just wait for Shane to eat. Seeing that there is nothing on, you travel instead to the bedroom again and wonder whether you should take a nap or something. But suddenly, curiosity hits you and you find your eyes looking everywhere. His ring is still next to the table with the picture of his mother. You wince slightly, remembering how much of an asshole you were as turn away from it and almost knock into the drawer. You jump when a notebook falls loudly to the floor from on top of the drawer. You bend down to pick it up but cannot bring yourself to close it.

_Dear Nate,_

_I'm sorry that I_

You flip the page but nothing else is written there. Biting your lip, you move on to a different page.

_Dear Nate,_

_I know you don't really want to hear from me, and I don't blame you. I don't care about what happened. Honestly, I loved Mitchie. I felt like I could live my life with her. She was amazing, but if she didn't feel the same way, then I cannot hold it against her. But man, I miss you. You're my little brother and no matter what happened - if what I heard was true or not - I don't care. I lov_

Again, it cuts off. You feel your breath get caught in your throat as you flip to another page.

_Dear Mitchie,_

_What the hell happened?_

Another page.

_Dear Mitchie,_

_I fucking hate you._

Another page.

_Dear Mitchie,_

_Why? Just tell me that._

Another page.

_I hate my life._

The last page wasn't addressed to anyone, but the date told you that it was written three years ago. You keep forgetting that all this mess was just that - a mess. People got hurt, not just you. You didn't cheat on him. Nate didn't try to steal his girlfriend. Shane just believed in the wrong person and now? Nate is feeding into the same lies that Shane once believed. Why? What's the common link?

You put the notebook back on the counter, wondering why it is out in the first place. You frown as you sit back on the bed, putting your hands on your naked thighs and realizing you are freezing. You get back under the covers as you wait for Shane to arrive. However, after only ten minutes of closing your eyes, the door bell rings. You raise an eyebrow, not knowing what to do especially when the person starts knocking. Clearing your throat, you throw on a pair of pants and walk to the door slowly. Fear starts going through you as you approach it. "Um, who is it?" you call out, cursing the fact that Shane's peephole is all cloudy. The knocking stops immediately and you hear a small manly gasp. You frown and tilt your head. "Uh, Shane's not here." You say a bit creeped out.

Suddenly, there's movement. You bite your lip before opening the door a crack - and finding no one. You lower your eyebrows and push it open more, looking first to your left before turning right. You see the elevator's doors closing, but not before seeing the back of a man.

--

"Hey, Em, you awake? Because I brought the magical thing called coffee and some kind of biscuit thing that Sabrina made." He calls out, after he opened the door and as he makes his way to the room. "And I got something else." he says the second he opens the door. You look up to meet his eyes, sitting up as you are abruptly pulled from sleep. Again. "Drink. I hear it's good." He says, passing you a cup as he drinks his own. You moan softly before reaching for the beverage.

"Thanks, Shay." You say, moving your tense shoulders. He sighs out and nods, staying by the doorway. "I think tonight I might sleep on the couch." You tell him softly. He rolls his eyes, looking at you from the top of his cup. "I mean, yesterday I was not exactly in the best shape, but… I just don't want it to be awkward. Plus…I was wrong last night, Shane." You gulp as the words come out. He raises an eyebrow. "You shouldn't break up with Jade…" he blinks at you, his eyes flashing with something. "I mean," you start quickly. "I want to be with you, but if you not ready… I just don't want to push you." You say awkwardly, running a hand through your long thick hair.

He looks away. "Ha."Shane, I can be stable. You just have to give me a chance.' Those were your words. You aren't exactly proving that." He says, crossing his arms. His voice is even and his voice is void of emotions. You breathe out. You did say that. Right now would probably not be the best time to talk about doubts of keeping a relationship in this crazy town, would it? You swallow.

"I didn't mean it that way, Shane. I meant it in the are you sure you want to go down that path? I want to be with you, but I want… I don't want to be a second choice. I don't want to be the girl you… I just want to know if you will take me out on dates and buy me flowers and treat me like a new girlfriend, or if you will treat me like I'm a replacement and that I don't deserve the same things the other girls get." You manage to get out. You feel your eyes prick with tears. You didn't even realize you felt this way until you spoke the words. He rolled his eyes, putting his cup down on the drawer - next to the notebook.

"You are a piece of work, Michelle. Trust me when I tell you that I'm breaking up with Jade not because you told me to. I have a little more balls than that thank you very much. You were right, okay. You hit me hard. I don't want an easy but hard life. I want to live my life to the fullest, but I want stability as well. Maybe when I was younger it wasn't a big deal - relationships with girls never last more than eight months. Even with you. We lasted what? A year? A year and four months? But now, Mitchie, I need someone I can trust. Can I trust you or are the lies true, Ms. Torres?" he says, with a small smile as he leans against the doorway.

You frown. "No, they aren't." you whisper softly.

"Well, then… I'm ready, but I guess you're right. We're moving a million miles an hour and stopping at the most random stops along the way. Now, we're practically living together and that's weird, but I'm not letting you sleep at your apartment. I'll sleep on the couch if you want, Em, and I'll take you to dinner - tomorrow tonight if you want. No talk of Nate or Jade or whatever. Just you and me and starting over." he promises.

You smile, before trying to hide it with the coffee cup. "So, a date?" you ask, your voice going unintentionally high. He laughs softly before rolling his eyes again. "Don't make fun of me. I haven't been on a date in forever." You inform him before frowning. "That makes me sound pathetic, huh?" You sigh as he laughs louder, shaking his head. "I mean, James never took me out." You say sadly. His eyebrows shoot up. "He was…not the greatest guy in the world. He didn't care about dates or flowers or appreciation. And if I remember correctly, you used to pick me at least a weed before every date we had at Camp Rock. I miss that." You whisper the last part.

"Huh." Is all he says, as he bites his lip. "Who's James?" he asks, trying to be nonchalant.

You grin sheepishly before shrugging. "My Jade?" you suggest. He breathes in slightly before nodding. "You said you had a…biscuit? Plus something else? Unless you meant your awesome hair." You tease him. He snorts, before running his hands through it. "Oh. Now it's not awesome. See, you mess it up and ew." You scrunch up your nose mockingly.

He raises his eyebrows. "That's funny because I look at your face and all I think is ew." He jokes back. You just smile at him. This is the boy you knew. You guys always had a remark, whether flirtatious or mocking. You were easy. There was no need for arguing. You smile wider, unable to help yourself. Your eyes light up. Maybe things will be okay. Maybe you can do a relationship with him. "Here, disgusting face." He says, throwing a brown bag towards you. You catch it and glare.

"Jerk." You mutter and he shrugs before picking something up from behind him. He sticks it out towards you, and all the tension in your body lessens. Tears rush up to your eyes as relief goes through your veins. You jump out of bed, running straight to him. You wrap your arms around his neck. "Oh, Shane." You breathe out as you hug him close to you. He doesn't laugh or say anything as he puts the red, still very much intact guitar against the wall so it doesn't get destroyed before hugging you back. "Thank you so much. You have no idea." You say, as tears stream down your face. It's funny that you are crying - because you have never felt happier than right now. "Thank you so much." You repeat.

He just brushes your hair with his fingers before kissing the top of your head.

--

It's so easy being with him. He just sits there and occasionally pulls your hair. Really, he's like a five year old - but he tries to act like an adult. You scrunch your nose at him and all he does is shrug innocently before smiling. "I missed you." He mouths before pulling you to his chest. "Remember when we decided to go on a canoe date and totally epically failed at it?" he suddenly says, as he twirls the same piece of hair in his fingers.

You laugh out loud. "Excuse me? You were the one who was trying to use the oars, misters. We went around in circles forever." You say, biting your lip to stop the smile that threatened to leave your lips. He smiled before tracing your face with his fingers. "Your lips looked so amazing that day and I was so scared of kissing you. I thought you would tell me you just wanted to be friends. I liked you so much, but…" he trails off, slightly embarrassed.

You just roll your eyes. "You are so smooth." You tease, and his attitude changes. He clicks his tongue before narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, please. When you saw me at the café when Jade was playing - when you first got to town - you came to me just because of how I looked." He deduces quite correctly. You frown and cross your arms, before pouting and looking away from him. You freeze, your eyes widening as he presses his lips to the nook of your neck. He trails his lips up to your cheek before bringing his hand over to tilt your head towards his lips.

The kiss is gentle and safe - the opposite of what the past month has been. You feel unbelievably safe here. You aren't thinking about Mark or Jade or anyone. You are just thinking of Shane and how easy it is again. Suddenly, all too quickly, he is pulling away. He kisses the top of your forehead. "Jeeze, no sticking your tongue down my throat or anything. Guess, someone got his feel of kissing this month." You say with raised eyebrows and a grin. He rolls his eyes before pulling you close again. This time his lips are a little rougher and definitely more urgent. He shivers when you bring your hand over his.

"Mmmm." He moans. "You are driving me insane, Mitchie." He whispers against your lips.

Blushing slightly, you lean against him, bringing your head back to the television screen. He brings his head on top of yours before hugging you to his chest. "Play something for me." You breathe out, leaning back. He hums questioningly and you point to the red guitar that you had lain next to you on his bed. Shane breathes in sharply, looking at it for a couple seconds before picking it up.

"Sure, love." He whispers, shuffling so that the guitar is on his lap instead of you. He inhales, his face scrunching up softly. He thinks about it for a second before letting his fingers glide over the strings on his black guitar. "Taking all what others have hassled. Looking back to darker days getting me down and if this is chaos, I think that I'm in love with clamor." He starts, biting his lip softly. "Tides are turning. Never understood my undeveloped story. But it makes sense to me, you make sense to me." He sings, falling back against the bed frame. His eyes look stormy and confused as he sings, as if he making up the lyrics as he goes. But it doesn't matter to you. What does matter is that his voice calms you. It reminds you of home. It reminds you of a time where everything was better.

"When it all falls down, I'll still be right here. When it all falls down, we'll still be right here. Once in a lifetime, I could feel this way. Once in a lifetime, you could feel it too." He looks down to his fingers as he hums before letting the strumming stop. "That's all I got so far." He admits sheepishly. You suddenly smile brightly.

"You've been writing." You say simply. He looks away from you and doesn't answer. "Wanna know something, Shane? We can do this. I was scared that maybe this past month would kill us or that Nate would make you hate me or something, but we can do this. It's like that song by Hayley. You know which one I'm talking about?" you say, biting your lip. He laughs and shrugs.

"Sure, love." He agrees, but you know he has no idea what you are talking about. You roll your eyes. "I'm glad you think we can." He finally says, brushing your hair again.

"I'm glad you're playing again. You are too talented to hide." You tell him as you trace the side of the guitar. You flip over the instrument, and your eyes look all over until you find it. You trace the _SG + MT _engraving before picking up the pick that Shane put on his night stand. You dig in deep into the back of the instrument, your heart telling you too.

He shakes his head. "You are so cheesy." He pokes your side. You jerk away from him but continue on your mission. "You child." That makes you laugh again. You give him a small smile before finishing the task and lifting your body up. You wrap your arms around his neck, making him go backwards on the bed. "Promise me you won't break my heart, Mitchie." He whispers against your lips as your legs slip to either side of you.

"Shane." You breathe out. "Sometimes, my heart beats only for you. Don't break mine and we're even. I want to be with you. You want to be with me. We're a team. No turning back."

**XXX**

**I really hope you like it :D **

**Btw, my story was totally plagiarized on JBFA. Fun times. Not!**

**Haha. Love you guys.**

**Next chapter at 560?**

**Sandy**

**PS -If you have something bad or even remotely bad or even criticizing rightly, can you sign in so I can respond privately. Thanks :D**


	16. Chapter 16

"**I got your back if you've got my hand. This isn't over. It just began." Audrey, Start The Revolution - Anberlin**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 16

"I'm kind of nervous, actually." You say to your best friend through the phone as you fix your hair. "Like, what if it goes to hell again?" you sigh before shaking your head, not allowing her to speak. "No, it won't. We work out our problems. From now on, we have smooth waters - I hope." You say with a groan as you wrap the towel around yourself tightly.

You are getting ready for a date with Shane. You are happy, because really, honestly, he makes you smile, but at the same time, you have broken each other's hearts so many times. You just don't want that again. "Stop freaking out, Mitch. The worse that can happen is you two don't have a good time and everything goes to hell. Then, you could come back to New Jersey like we all want you to." Her voice is sharp.

You bite your lip, getting out of the bathroom. "Cait…" you trail off, and she groans while you walk to Shane's bedroom to grab your clothes.

"Dude, you are being seriously targeted there. I want to go just to kick someone's ass, man. I fucking hate those people." She tells you lewdly. You smile softly, but inside, you are still a little scared. Shane has made you feel safe, but that's because he is with you in a little apartment. But he works. He leaves. He has a life - besides you. "Please, come home. I miss you." She says sadly. You press your lips together.

"I'm going there for Thanksgiving. That's what like a week and half away." You remind me her halfheartedly, as you slip on your lace, black underwear.

You don't like California. It has brought you nothing but trouble, but do you want to leave? "Mitchie, are you almost don - whoa! Sorry!" he says, as he quickly averts his eyes. You look at him and roll your eyes, before covering your chest up with your arm. You try not to let the blush overtake your body and try to focus on what Caitlyn is saying. Technically, all he saw was your bare back. "I just wanted to… know…if you were…done.' He keeps stumbling over his words as you try to find a bra that you like. You are the picture of calm as you pick one out - or not. You can hear your heart beat loudly in your ears as you get more and more uncomfortable with him in the room.

"I know you are, but I want you here now." Caitlyn says with a sigh. You quickly put on your bra and sneak a glance over to Shane. He has his eyes closed, as he leans against the wall. You want to be confident and at least try to pretend that he doesn't affect you - that he doesn't make your skin hot and makes you feel a little uncomfortable with it. "You know, James might come home." She whispers quietly as you rewrap the towel around your body.

"Oh, is he?" you say dismissively, still staring at Shane. "Did you need something?" you ask a little shyly, covering the phone for a second. He just shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Then… can I get ready?" you ask awkwardly. He doesn't say anything, but just pushes himself off the wall and goes out the room again. You swallow before going back to the bathroom with your dress. You close the door behind you. "Sorry. I'm back. Shane totally just walked in on me dressing." You say with an eye roll. "I swear, he does these things are purpose to kill us both." You say with a shake of your head.

Caitlyn gasps slightly before pausing. "Are you two sleeping together?" she asks after a while. You freeze.

"Define sleeping together." You avert the question, letting the tight black dress over your head. You put the phone on the counter for a second, switching it to speaker. You hear her gasp loudly, and you know she's about to start yelling. However, all that follows is silence. "I don't feel safe sleeping at my apartment. Actually, I think I was kicked out by Amy and then… so whatever. But me and Mandy are thinking of getting an apartment together. Hey! Why don't you come to California and we can make it a threesome? Please no 'that's what she said' jokes." You say the last part quickly with a false smile.

You muse up your hair so that's thicker than normal before putting on some bright red lipstick. "Michelle Torres, are you sleeping with him?" she asks again, this time her voice a million times sharper.

You sigh. "No, Caity. I'm still the only twenty year old virgin in the state, I promise you. We haven't done much at all. We've made out and maybe a little… second base? Is that it? Whatever." You hear her scoff and you frown. "I am twenty.' You repeat. "I'm not a child. He's being a good guy, Cait. Yeah, he walks on me like a douche monkey, but he means well, so whatever." You shrug before fixing your eyes. Suddenly, you are looking the mirror - not even paying attention to Cait.

You look hot.

Maybe that's conceited to say, but today, you just feel hot. You feel it in your skin. You are so excited for this date. You kind of don't want to play innocent tonight. You just want to feel sexy and cute and smile. Forget Mark and Jade and all their bullshit, and just be a college student. You want to drink on Thirsty Thursdays and dance at random parties. You want to feel hot. You don't want to feel that way - not anymore.

"Mitchie!" Caitlyn says after you try to fix your eyes so they are perfect.

You hiss. "Sorry, babes. I'm just trying to get ready. Shane and I are okay, surprisingly. It was kinda like an off switch. We _offed_ the hate and are now, looking for a little loving. It's nice. No more yelling." You say, a little absentmindedly as you press your lips together. "He's breaking up with Jade tomorrow. He couldn't get in touch with her all weekend. I don't even want to know why, but apparently, some friend of hers is in town and she won't talk to him. And Shane won't break up with her over the phone. He has more class than that." You say with a smile as you dance a little in your dress.

"Okay." She sighs. "Call me tomorrow with deets, aight." She says with a yawn. You look at your cell phone time.

"Go to bed, honey. It's like twelve there. You have class tomorrow, dontcha?" you ask. You hum softly as Caitlyn answers, laughing at her groans. You talk for a little bit more before letting her go. You twirl once more in your dress, before getting out of the bathroom, leaving your cell phone on the counter. You slip on your super high black pumps before getting out the room, and into the living room. Shane is buttoning his last button on his black shirt when you come in. "Not fair. You get to…" you trail off, the joke lost. You blush deeply, realizing what you were about to say. He smirks.

"I'm just luckier than you." He teases, before letting his eyes look you up and down. His eyes linger on some parts on your body, but he eventually meets your eyes. He raises his eyebrow. "Girl, forget beautiful." He says, coming to you. He grabs your wrist, pulling you the rest of the way. "You look downright sexy. Where was this chick when I was seventeen and way too excited for my own good?" he whispers before connecting your lips softly. You smile against his lips as he pulls away.

"Oh, please. Like you would have slept with me. You were much more… um strict with that whole… purity thing." You stumble over your words, suddenly realizing you were practically insulting him. "What I mean is that you weren't a whore back then?" you say with a smile, a clear sign that you are just joking. He gives you a small smile but looks away.

Yep. Wrong thing to say.

You roll your eyes, cursing yourself in your head. "We should start going, baby." He says, as he throws on a jacket. You smile at him, putting your bangs from your eyes."I got you something though." He says, shaking off your words. You clap your hands together and lean against the wall. His eyes travel down your body quickly again before, "The reservations are at eight, and it's eight ten. So we should maybe leave before we lose our reservations and we're forced to eat at McDonalds." He sings as he goes through the door. You laugh as you close it behind you.

You rush a little forward to grab his hand. He smiles as he intertwines your fingers. "You think we're doing this too fast?" you say softly as you go down the stairs. He looks at you with a confused look on his face. "This." You hold up your intertwined hands. "Us. Like we went from hating to sleeping together at night." You say with a shrug. "You realize I don't do that right? Like I don't jump into guy's beds and let them kiss me whenever they want." You say with a small smile, a slight blush coming to your face. He rolls his eyes, brushing your hair back with a gentle hand.

"I've always been in lo… you know, maybe we are going fast, or maybe we're just continuing from where we left off. But I don't care. If we keep talking about staring over and never actually do it, then what's the point?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. He takes a step up to kiss you again before giving you a bright smile. "Now, come." He says, tugging your hand.

You laugh and follow him. You are pretty sure you would follow him anywhere.

--

"I swear to God, Shane. It was like the worst day ever. The sound totally stopped working and we had no microphones for the cast members to use. KC and I were running around back stage with the rest of stage crew, freaking the fuck out because we didn't know how to do freaking Diary of Anne Frank without sound and the actors on stage were just bullshitting lines. We had like the some of the diary entries recorded so that we could play it during the performance, but when it came time for it, Vanessa was on stage being Anne and we needed her backstage. Oh my, God. It was horrible. That was my last year as stage crew." You finish with a laugh.

He smirks. "One time on tour - we were in Louisiana, Nate's mic stopped working during the performance and he tried to steal Jason's but Jay didn't get it so for a whole minute there was no one singing because I didn't know the words. And Nate was so preoccupied trying to get a new microphone that he stopped playing the guitar and I was just there - shaking my tambourine, like I fucking hate my life. Oh! Then there was this time where my zipper like died as we were on stage and I didn't know how to fix it. Of course, I was near wondering hands. Let me tell you: fun times." He says sarcastically, as you laugh.

"My dress ripped at Prom." You say with a sheepish smile. He opens his mouth wide, gasping slightly and laughing a bit. "Yep." You nod solemnly. "I went with my gay best friend and he sucks at this thing called dancing. He totally stepped on it, but thankfully, it was only the bottom that ripped. It was practically unnoticeably, but you know - I was seventeen and I cried. It was bad." You finish with a shake of your head.

"I bet." He agrees before rolling his eyes. "But you have never fallen off the stage in front of practically a billion people on an award show." He says, picking up a breadstick and pointing it at you. You laugh, taking a piece of the end. He pouts and takes back his bread before taking a bite of it. "That was embarrassing - especially when I have my fifteen year old brother just staring at me like I'm a dumbass." He says with a small laugh. You smile but don't say anything. You know he misses Nate.

But Nate's an asshole… no offence to him.

"Do you like your pasta?" you change the subject, nodding at it. He smiles warmly at you and nods, before asking the same of your lasagna. "It's awesome, popstar." You tell him as you take another bite.

"Good." He says, before slipping his hand on top of the table. He gives you a small smile and you blush, before meeting his hand. Wordlessly, you intertwine your fingers and just hold hands. "So, let me here more. I missed like four years. That's not fair." He sits up, before taking another bite of food. He looks so handsome right now. It's overwhelming.

"Um, when I was seventeen, I was stopped with my best friend Caitlyn by the police at three am on some random day we decided we needed to drink." His eyebrows shoot up, and you reword yourself. "Sorry. We weren't drunk - yet. We just wanted to get drunk. We were with my brother's girlfriend who brought the liquor. I was in the backseat with the bottle and cranberry juice and all that stuff in a brown bag. Cait was driving since Ash already started drinking beforehand, when a cop stopped us. We were going thirty in a twenty five. We were so scared we were gonna get arrested, but technically Ash was twenty-one, but still man… scary." You say, laughing at the memory.

He shakes his head. "Someone would have told me that Ms. Torres likes to drink, I would have told them they got the wrong girl." He teases. You roll your eyes, suddenly a bit defensive - until his next statement. "I didn't like to drink. Remember how I freaked when I found out some guys brought liquor to Camp Rock?" he asks with a laugh before it slips away. "The first time I drank was when my mom died." He says, looking down to his food.

You lower your eyebrows sadly. "I wish I could have been there for you." You say sincerely. He shrugs before shaking his head.

"I'm kinda glad you weren't. I was a mess. That day I drank too much, lost my virginity, went slightly crazy and met Jade. I started smoking, went to every club I could get in, and fell apart. She let me, but she didn't encourage it. And when I decided that I could no longer let my emotions control my life, I started up the café and Jade didn't support me there either, but she didn't make me go back to my old life." You nod, feeling bad at what he had to go through.

"Speaking of Jade, did you talk to her?" you say gently. You know it's not the easiest thing in the world to break up with someone. He shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"That girl is suddenly harder to reach than the Pope." He mutters with a dark sigh. You frown and don't say anything else. He shrugs it off. "Do you want desert here? Or do you mind if we go to the café? I just want to get some things from my office?" he asks, his tone changing. You smile and shake your head, before putting your cloth napkin off your lap and on the table.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to the bathroom." You tell him. He frowns as your hands separate, but as you pass him, he wraps his arm around your front, leaning up to connect your lips. It's funny - the amount of fireworks that go through you. You have to remind yourself this isn't the first kiss at all. You give him one last smile.

You walk with a smile on your face. You are happy.

You should have realized that it wasn't going to stay that way.

If you would have known, you would have just told Shane to pay the check and race out of that damn place. The second you see the curls on top of a young, attractive guy's head coming out of the men's bathroom, every artery froze in your body. His eyes - so serious and empty seconds before - lit up with fire as your eyes met. You both sucked in your breath at the exact same time, as your eyes widened and his fist curled. "Well, you aren't sixteen anymore." he says snidely, the implication obvious in his voice.

Five words and he already makes you feel like a whore. Amazing.

"Nate." You try to keep your voice steady. You gulp back the salvia that is rushing into your mouth. Fuck. Just… fuck. He tightens his fist again. It's incredible - the look he is giving you. You have never seen so much hatred in someone's eyes, and you have been fighting with Shane for a while now. Actually, it's not just hatred in his hazel eyes - it's betrayal and anger and… so much more.

It's pain.

You take a step back, your heel hitting the ground with a loud _clack_ and you have a mind to just turn around and leave him. "Oh, no you don't." his fingers burn into your skin as he grabs your wrist roughly. You gasp and go to yell but he gives you a sharp glare. "What lies have you been feeding Shane, huh? You stupid bitch." He spits out, his eyes narrow.

You part your lips in shock. Nate Grey just cursed at you - there's a lovely surprise. "That's funny. I was about to ask you the same question." You say dryly, trying to be brave. You lift your chin up, yanking your arm from his grip. "What the hell are you doing back here?" you say, crossing your arms over your cleavage.

He scoffs. "My brother asked me to. Same question." He snaps back, his eyes icy.

"I go to Berkeley. Meeting Shane was a complete coincidence." You say between gritted teeth. He laughs, obviously not believing. "You know whatever. Shane and I are having a very good night, and I don't need some lying idiot little brother ruining it." you say a little bitterly. He laughs mirthlessly again.

"Are you fucking insane? Shane and I were having a very good life, until some bitch decided to completely use us to get famous and -" he says, the hatred deep in his voice. You shiver, cutting him off.

"Oh, because I'm so famous right now. I have a bodyguard sitting at the next table, Nate. You better watch out or I'll call him. Grow up. We both lost Shane at the same time. He just blamed me, and he didn't know how to approach you. Shane doesn't hate you. He will never hate you. So, let it go. So, what? Connect Three finished. Well, you got the Legislation, don't you? You are still famous." You remind him, but he's shaking his head.

He comes close to you, his hand curling around your upper arm roughly. His teeth are gritted. "Listen to me, you little cunt." His voice rough as he pronounces the 'c'. "I lost my brother because of your ass. I want you gone from my life and his life. I will tell him every lie in the book, until he forgets your name. Until you are just some pathetic memory again. Stay the fuck away from him." He says, his nails digging into your skin.

You part your lips, but he leaves you before you can even let a gasp slip out.

When you throw around to look at him, he is already at another table - one occupied by a pretty blonde. Her face is hidden but he quickly makes her get up, throwing one last dirty look your way before smirking and kissing her. You disgustedly turn away.

--

"You have been quiet ever since you came back from the bathroom." Shane says, as he parks the car. You shrug and he puts his hand around the bruises that are already popping up on your arm. "What happened?" he asks evenly, but his underlying tone is obvious. He's pissed. You shrug again. "Mitchie." He says warningly. "If you want me to turn around and go to the police and tell them that we ran into Mark, then I will. Just nod your head." He says sternly, looking at you with sharp eyes.

Eyes that are the same unique hazel color his brother has.

You gulp and shake your head. "I ran into someone." You say vaguely, spitting out the words. You open your door. "Let's just say Nate isn't my biggest fan." You mutter as you get out. You immediately hear the intake of breath, but you don't stick around to hear or see his reaction. You walk quickly to the close door, waiting as he gets out the car harshly. You wince when he slams the door.

"Excuse me?" he says sharply, coming in front of you. His eyes are wide and unbelieving and yet believing you at the same time. You shrug your shoulders, looking away and gulping. He curses and runs a hand through his hair. Groaning loudly, he reaches in his pocket and grabs a cigarette. You frown, putting a hand on his shaking chest.

"Hey. Don't get yourself worked up. Forget about him. He doesn't like me, so he's gonna feed you lies but… just know none of them are true. Forget him." You repeat, trying to appear nonchalant. He hisses and he throws the unlit cigarette down to the ground to glare at you. "I should have told you?" you guess his words. He gives you a look that says yes. "I didn't want to upset you. We were having such a great night. I didn't want to bring us down." You say, frowning. He sighs and stares at you hard. You gulp and look back into his eyes. Sometimes, a moment seems to last so long between you two.

"Okay." He says, before bringing his warm hands to your neck. He pulls you in for a short kiss before pulling away from you and going to the door. He pauses before turning back around. "Are you okay?" he asks, looking you straight in the eyes. You hesitate before nodding. He raises an eyebrow. "Your brother hates me." You laugh mirthlessly. "I have a gene or something in my blood that makes Grey brothers hate me. Does Jason hate me too? Because if he does, you guys can bond over that." Shane frowns deeper, before grabbing your waist.

He kisses you again - this time deeper and longer. You moan softly as he pushes you up against the wall. He kisses you lips once, twice, three times before pulling away. "Fuck Nate. Come on. I have cheesecake and magical coffee." He says with a smile. He pushes your hair behind your ear before bringing you into the café.

You smile at him. "Well, if you have magical coffee, then we're all good in the hood." You tease, falling back into the routine with a sigh. He laughs quietly as he lets you in. "You said you had things in your office?" you say, putting your purse on the counter. He nods, trying to take the tension away from his body. "I'll start brewing the coffee." You say as he walks that way. He waves his hand as an agreement. You take a deep sigh when you are alone. The tension is eating away at your shoulders. You start to work the coffee machine, trying to figure out how to work it while simultaneously wondering if you should drink coffee tonight. You finally just set it to some random setting. "Shane. I think I'm gonna fail at this." You call out to him.

He laughs but doesn't leave his office. You go over to the window, looking out. You only see a Jeep, a Lexus and one car coming down the road. You almost go back to the counter before you realize the car is an old Mustang belonging to one very annoying nineteen year old boy. You groan loudly, suddenly freaking out. You mean to call Shane, because you really don't want this tonight, but you suddenly notice a dirty blonde leave the car. This blonde isn't the same blonde that you saw him kiss earlier. No this one is a different blonde. A very different one.

You raise your eyebrows high as you watch her get out the passenger's side. What the fuck is she doing with Nate? She's Shane's girlfriend - for now. Why are Jade and Nate socializing?

Then, the back door opens and you look connect the dots. Shane said a friend of Jade's has been taking up her time. You just found out who her friend is. Her hair is pure blonde. She has sparkling blue eyes and a pretty figure. She is a girl who has ruined your life from the moment you met. She is the girl who made you sing back up when you didn't want to. She's the girl who took away your life from you when you were sixteen. But none of that concerns you.

What does is that as she leans up and kisses Nate, you can clearly see on her wrist your grandmother's bracelet.

It takes you a second to realize they are heading straight this way. Fuck.

**XXX**

**My beta called this my "Oh Damn" chapter. What do you guys think?**

**Who do you think that blonde is? ;D tell me your theories about who broke into her apartment - the new ones. How did blondie get the bracelet? A present from someone? From who? Is it a present? Was she was the one? How does Mark factor in this? Is he even around anymore?**

**Tell me. I love to read ur comments.**

**Love it. love you. **

**Sandy**

**Next chapter at 610. Thank you. I hope you liked this chapter. I know that it was a big AHH chapter.**

**PS - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE GIRL SABRINA ;D Also, i wrote a oneshot, it's called Birthday Girl and it's a companion to Birthday Boy. Go read! Love you.  
**


	17. Chapter 17

"**I'm just trying to understand who I was, who I am. But you are changing just the same. So can you tell me who's to blame? Could we put our weapons down just to figure this out?" Before We Come Undone - Kris Allen**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 17

She was beautiful - at least to you. You thought she was gorgeous, and when you found out just whose daughter she was, you freaked. You wanted to be her best friend the second she looked at you. There was lying and manipulating and hurting - all from you. You know you weren't exactly the sweetest, most innocent girl back then, but you tried to change it afterwards. You made a mistake thinking she was a good person, and you changed because of it. Shane forgave you eventually - after he found out you were _the voice_ - but she never did. She wanted to hurt you for stealing Shane away from her and for taking Nate along for the ride, so she lied.

And lied and lied, until lies became truth in a then fifteen year old boy's eyes. Unbeknownst to you, she reached out to Nate after his mother died, and those lies that looked like truths were planted even further in his mind. She was invited to the funeral, and there, she met another girl - a girl that twenty minutes later had Shane in a closet with a bottle of tequila and sex on her mind. The girls were never to see each other again after their initial meeting at the bar, but they somehow they ran into each other a week later. That's when they realized they were both involved with a Grey brother and kept tabs all these years.

You can only imagine Tess's surprise when Jade brought up your name in conversation.

"So, Jay sent me thes- whoa!" Shane says, surprised to see the group of people start to enter the café. His eyes get wide when he meets his brother's and he immediately gets in front of you - to protect you. "Hey, Nate. Came here to be more of an ass to Mitchie?" He asks sarcastically, as he plops down what looks like a photo album on the counter besides you. You haven't even said a word since they came in.

Your eyes are glued to Tess's wrist.

"Oh, come on, Shay. I haven't seen you in forever. How about a hug?" Tess says with a fake smile on her face. She smirks in your general direction before lifting an eyebrow towards Shane. He glares at her, tensing instantly as he clicks his tongue. "No? Well, okay." She says dismissively before looking past him and straight into your outraged eyes. "Mitchie! Hey! Haven't seen you in such a long time. How's…whatever the hell you do?" she says in a sugary voice, clapping her hands together. Her blonde hair is longer than you remember, but her skirt has only gotten shorter. She is pretty in the perfect kind of a way, but the flaws are too easy to see. She laughs before rolling her eyes and turning to Nate. "Why are we here again? I'm over Romeo and Juliet. Let's go to Nevada!" she says with renewed enthusiasm, clapping her hands again. "See if we can gamble." Tess laughs softly, looking to Nate then to Jade.

But neither are paying attention. They are both focused solely on you and Shane.

"What the hell is this?" Jade's voice is beyond dangerous - it's to the point where a shiver runs up and down your body. "Is this where you have been? Fucking this whore!" she screams, waving her hands up and down your body. Your eyebrows lower, hurtfully. You scoff at her, and she turns her bright green eyes your way disgustedly. "Oh my God." She spits out before looking at Shane. He stays still, his face void of emotions. "Are you fucking kidding me, Shane? I have been with you for two whole years, letting you fuck me and use me, and suddenly, this whore comes along and I'm chop liver? Fuck you!" she screams. She brings her hands up and pushes hard against his chest.

He stumbles for a second but you help him stay steady. He doesn't respond. He turns to Tess and then to Nate and then to their intertwined hands. "Really, Nate? Really?" he says between gritted teeth.

The hate in Nate's eyes is so real yet so fake at the same time. It makes sense now. You wouldn't be surprised if it has been Tess's plan in the first place to completely destroy everyone involved in her life that does not worship her. Nate laughs. "Oh, please. She's a better girl than that one can ever be." He doesn't even look at you.

Shane tenses even more, his fists tightening. "Watch it, Nathaniel." He hisses, and you let the first sound since they got inside the café out. "Seriously. If you just came here to fight, take Tess and leave. She's not welcomed here," Nate opens his mouth to interject, but Shane beats him to it. "And I don't care if you do. If you want to talk, my door is always opened, but I'm not letting the bitch who ripped my relationships apart in my place." He says sternly.

"Hey!" Tess cuts in, pretending to be offended. She shakes her hand, your bracelet's charms hitting into one another. "Don't call Mitchie a bitch. She's right next to you." She says with a growing smirk. You feel a pang go through you. You feel like you are having an out of body experience. You don't even feel part of this scene. All you know is that Tess has your bracelet, Jade looks like she wants to murder someone, and Nate wants to murder you.

Shane scoffs and starts to say something but Jade cuts him off. "No! She is a bitch." She spits out before turning to look you in the eyes. You take a step back and she almost growls. "Who the hell do you think you are? Do you even realize how much of a whore, how much of a slut you are? You stole a man away from me. I hope you're fucking proud of yourself. He was mine, bitch." She practically lounges for you, but Shane stops her with a strong arm. You gasp sharply as she narrowly misses your cheek with her long nails. Shane steps full in front of you, protecting you completely. Jade blows up again. "Are you fucking kidding me? You want this loser? She can't even protect herself. Or is that what's getting you off, Shane? Let me guess, sweetie, you have daddy issues, don't you?" she attacks you, twirling around in anger.

"Jade, shut up." Shane says in a low whisper. She opens her mouth in shock and turns to look at him appalled. "First off, I was never yours. Second, you're right: I did use you and I'm sorry. But I don't love you. Jade, we have been having problems way before Mitchie. We broke up like three times in the six months before she even got here, so shut the fuck up and stop blaming her. Third, if you ever call Mitchie a slut or whatever again, I swear it will be bad. Forth, you are such a whore yourself, it's not even funny. All the times I caught you messing around with this and that, begging me to forgive you - don't you realize that I never cared because I never wanted you? Don't you know that I have always been in love with… I don't give or have ever given a fuck about you, Jade. So shut up, grow up and accept the fact that we are over and that we have been for a very long time." He finishes in the same voice.

Nate starts laughing as Jade's eyes start filling up with angry tears. Tess just raises an eyebrow at Shane. "Still quite the asshole, huh, Shay?" she says snidely, putting her hands in her pocket. "That's mature."

"No, you wanna know mature - stealing my bracelet." You suddenly cut in, your voice jumping out of you. Shane jumps at your voice, taking a quick glance at you before looking over to who you are staring at. Tess's smirk falls for a second before she crosses her arms. She picks at the charms before looking at Jade. The latter girl pales and breathes in slightly.

"I didn't steal this princess. My best friend gave it to me." She says, nodding over to Jade.

And then, things start to click in place.

It was Jade, not Mark. Your mouth falls open as Jade stumbles for a second and Shane's face goes dark - obviously realizing things as well. Nate's eyes sweep over the place before landing on Tess's wrist. He grabs it roughly and she yelps unattractively. "I thought this looked familiar." He says under his breath. He looks at you for half a second. "Your grandma's, right, Em?" he says softly. He sounds like the Nate you left behind. It almost kills you and you shake him off, turning back to Jade.

Shane laughs mirthlessly. "Oh, this is priceless, Jade Laurens. You are such a fucking loser. You seriously broke into her apartment? You are pathetic, you piece of shit." His voice was filled with such hate, and you can see Jade's eyes widen in fear. You lightly take your hand off Shane's back. You have never seen this side of him. No. Wait. That's a lie. You have seen him like this before - right before he beat Mark into a pulp. He's violent to other people. He's an asshole to other people.

After so much gentleness and kind sarcastic words and watching movies and holding you so that you can sleep safely, you forgot that he can be a different person.

"I…" Jade starts but doesn't finish. Tears gather in her eyes as she stares at Shane with wide eyes. Tess frowns, taking her wrist out of Nate's hand.

"Are you kidding me? I gave you a fucking thousand dollar necklace as a symbol of our best friendship, and you gave me a bracelet that you didn't even buy - moreover belonged to this trash." She doesn't even turn to you as she roughly slips off the gold bracelet and all but throws it at you. You gasp softly but catch it. Shane growls before pointing at the door.

"Get out. The both of you. I can't stand either one of you. You lie and cheat and you destroy. Jesus Christ, you two should get together. And I don't even mean that in the 'I want to watch lesbian porn' way. I mean that in the 'you deserve each other' way." He says slightly hysertically, his eyes dark. He looks between them again. "I swear to God, Jade, Tess, if you ever bother me or Mitchie again, it will be very bad." He says, tightening his fist. Tess scoffs.

"What are you gonna do? Hit me? Oh please. You're all asshole, not a beater. You would never." She attacks back knowingly. You would like to think you know Shane well enough to agree with that statement, but the way he is looking at her, you would not be surprised if he decided to kill her. He hisses between his teeth before focusing a look on his younger brother.

"Like I said, my door is always open to you, and if you want to sit down and talk, I'm here. We'll talk and we'll talk with Mitchie and we'll sort things out. I don't want to fight with you, and now that I know Tess is on your balls, influencing the way you are, I just know for sure that you aren't yourself at all." Shane says evenly, barely noticing Nate's glaring expression. "But get them out of here." He tells him darkly. Jade gulps loudly and hisses.

"Fine, Shane. Fine. You are such an asshole, you know that?" she suddenly turns to you again. "Good luck meaning anything to him ever. He'll just use you for sex and then leave you for the next hot thing. Fuck the both of you, and I sincerely hope you have a great relationship." She yells at you, eyes filled with unshed tears. "You'll never mean anything." She repeats, wiping her face, black mascara messing her skin.

"Shane loves me." You whisper, looking her straight in the eyes. You open your eyes in shock; you didn't mean to say that.

But you don't retract it.

"Ha! What the fuck do you know about love! What the fuck does Shane? Love is more than lust. It's about loyalty and respect and trust - things that Shane completely forgot how to do." Nate finally interjects again. You flicker your eyes off Jade to look at the younger man. Tess raises an eyebrow, smirking a little. She thrives off destruction.

Shane scoffs, his face a little pale. Suddenly, he swallows away his pride - and tries to stop his anger from circulating. "I love you." He says. There's no sarcasm or anger or anything. It is even and stern and said looking Nate straight in the eyes. The nineteen year old blinks, taking a step back as he is taken off guard. His eyes widen. "No bullshit or lies. Just plain, I love you. You are my little brother and everyday I did not speak to you, I spent regretting. I grew to hate myself and I practically became a leech - using others for my own personal gain but never allowing myself happiness. Don't you get it? I hate myself because you hate me. I have never allowed myself a good day - but then, Mitchie came back and I'm smiling and I'm falling and I'm kissing someone that matters." Jade's eyes flash with pain as she crosses her arms, but Shane doesn't care. "Don't take that away from me. You want me to serve some kind of penance? Give me a punishment, but don't take my first step towards forgiving myself away." His voice is breathy and raw.

Nate just stares at him, his lips parted. You can see his chest start to rise and fall harder. "I…" he trails off, suddenly looking confused.

"I love you." Shane repeats. "This whole break wasn't about you or even Mitchie or Tess. I have thought about it enough to realize that I couldn't live in a world where I had to follow a label and had to be this perfect kid. I wasn't perfect and it was killing me. I knew you didn't need me. You are so talented and so amazing, and you proved me right - you got a band that has gotten recognition and respect and I have never been prouder of you. I've seen about ten shows of yours over the years Nate. You think I forgot about you? My little brother who was practically my diary at one point of my life? No, Nate. I love you and I'm sorry." His eyes never waver from looking straight into the same unique hazel colored orbs of his younger brother.

Nate gulps, biting his lip. His eyes flash with anger. "No! You don't get to do this. You don't get to say sorry and just push it under a rug. You don't get to play the victim and tell me that you are finally happy after so much pain! You have absolutely no idea what I went through. You believed some stupid bitch over me! Over me! Your brother who loved you and fucking looked up to you in every way possible!" Nate's voice is just as raw as Shane, but also filled with shaky tears. He is yelling so loud that his body shakes.

Tess's eyes shoot up and she scoffs. "I totally saw you guys making out!" she interjects, arms cross.

Nate starts laughing mirthlessly, as you feel anger go up your body. "No you didn't, Tess. No you fucking didn't!" He screams loudly at her and her eyes widen in the same way Jade's had before. "You just wanted Shane all to your own damn self. You wanted me to suffer because you knew that I had these stupid ass feelings for Mitchie. You wanted for us to feel pain like you did, facing rejection from your own damn family every day. You wanted that. You wanted to hurt us!" he screams at her, his eyes blazing. Shane just watches them, but you throw your arms up in the air and hiss angrily.

"So, hey, all the damn lies you told to Shane were what exactly, Nate? Oh, yeah - lies. Can we go over why you lied to Shane again about me, because I'm just not getting it." you say sarcastically, angrily. Nate swallows, closing his eyes for a second.

"Why do you get to be happy? It was never against Shane. It was against you. Why do you get to be happy? Why do you get to have him!" Nate yells, his breath coming out forcibly.

Shane explodes. "She doesn't _get_ to have me. I'm not solely Mitchie's, Nathaniel. You want to rebuild a relationship - or I do - then I can't have you attacking my girl -"

"Oh, so now she's your girl. We just broke up!"

"Oh my God, Jade! Get the fuck out of the store!"

"Hey! Don't talk to my best friend like that!"

Shane grits his teeth violently, sending a glare to Nate. "Why the fuck are you even with this girl?" he asks, referring to the previous talker while trying to remain calm. "You don't even like her." He yells loudly, throwing his hands up.

Nate gulps, the tears obvious to you again. "Because…she was there when you weren't. She talked to me when you didn't." he says, softly - his eyes bright. Shane exhales sadly, before putting his hands on Nate's shoulders. "Shane-" he starts, trying to pull away but Shane grips his shoulder harder. Nate all but breaks down.

Your eyes widen as the tears start flowing out of the young boy. "I'm so sorry, Nathaniel. So sorry." Shane breathes out, trying to look him in the eyes. "I will do everything and anything to get your trust and love back, okay. I messed up, but hanging out with the girl who destroyed everything isn't the best thing in the world - even if she reminds you of a different time. Picking a fight and using bad language and bruising Mitchie just because you don't want me or her or whatever happy is stupid. My personal relationship is different than my relationship with you. She's my girl, but you're my brother. Please, don't hate me for being with her." His voice cracks on the last word.

Nate closes his eyes. "I don't hate you, Shane." He mutters in between sobs. "I hate that you left me. I hate that she got to you before you got to me. I hate that I missed you so much. I hate that I miss my best friends - not just you, but the girl I would run to with secrets or lyrics. I miss you guys. It wasn't fair." He breathes out, chocking slightly as he hangs his head. Shane sighs before moving forward and pulling Nate to his chest, engulfing him in a hug. He kisses the top of Nate's forehead.

"I'm here. She's here. We'll work this out." Shane promises softly - so quietly you almost didn't hear. You feel awkward, having witness such a personal scene. Also, you feel selfish - because you cannot stop thinking what _my girl_ means to Shane. Nate's shoulders relax for a second, leaning into his brother's embrace as he starts to cry. Shane tucks his head with his hands before looking up to glare at the girls. "_Get the fuck out. I won't say it again._" He mouths, a look of outrage on his face.

Tess goes to interrupt, the diva attitude painted on her face, but Jade stops her. Her face is filled with traces of mascara and tears. "I can't be here anymore." she chokes out, wiping her face, "I need to leave." She spits out. Nate pulls away from Shane to wipe his face and lean against the counter, never looking up.

"Hey, Jade? Expect an officer to come by to charge you with breaking and entering and attempted assault." Shane mutters through gritted teeth, eyes dark before turning his back on her to focus on his little brother.

--

You chickened out. As soon as two or three minutes passed after Jade and Tess left, and Nate was still breaking down and Shane was trying to talk to him, you gave a slight look at Shane that conveyed everything - mainly that you had to leave. You had to get out of there before you suffocated, aka you chickened out.

You went to his apartment of course. Actually, you have nowhere else to go. Amy and Sam already found a new roommate and you have been pushed off to the streets, especially if Shane kicks you out as well.

You go straight to his bed, digging under the covers and hugging the pillow. The tears come immediately, gripping the bracelet securely in your hand. Your eyes are shut so tightly, that you are almost hurting yourself. It's too much to handle for one night. It was supposed to be a good evening - and it started out that way. That date with Shane was pretty much one of the best before the universe decided to slap you in the face. Now, you just want to hide forever and ever…

Or maybe you just want Shane.

You find these urges/feelings strange. When you with Shane when you were younger, you had innocent little kisses and hugs. When you were with James, he liked to kiss you harder and hug you longer. You let him, but you never needed him. Now, with Shane again, you need his touch - and that is _so_ weird. You have never craved someone as much before. You have never wanted someone's arm around your waist to protect you. You have never wanted protection. You have always been Miss Independent, but now… Now, you just want Shane. You just want him to come home and use you as his human pillow. You want him to kiss you and never let go and hold you as you cry.

"I want something stable." You whisper under your breath. You can hear the surprise in your own voice as you close your eyes again. You want what he wants. You want someone that loves you fully and wakes up next to you and is there - there traveling at his pace, not a million miles more. You want stability. You want it.

And you want it with him.

"Hey, baby." Shane whispers, shaking you slightly. You gasp and open your eyes surprised. You blink a few times, not even realizing you fell asleep. The window in your immediate view shows that it is definitely way into the night. "You've been crying." He mutters, his fingers tracing the stains on the pillow. He sighs before getting off the bed. You swallow and don't answer him, as he presses his lips together. He is already in sweats and a thin wifebeater but you don't get to see more of him. He walks out the room for a couple seconds before coming back with a glass of water. "Drink." He orders lightly, giving you the cup. You sigh and take it from him.

You take big gulps as he goes over to his side of the bed. The second he puts his arm over your waist, you practically freak out. You immediately throw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. He doesn't question you; he just hugs you back. He stokes your hair and rubs your back and whispers sweet nothings in your ear until you calm down. You cough on a sob softly before trying to shake it off. "How…How did it go with N-Nate?" you stutter as you wipe your face.

He sighs and softly puts the palm of his hands on your cheeks, using his thumbs to brush off the tears. "He calmed down. He got all macho again, but he nearly started crying again when I suggested lunch tomorrow. I need to work on that - stat." he says, barely paying attention to himself. He absentmindedly plays with the pillow. You swallow slightly, about to ask him what else is going on but he beats you to the punch. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" he asks suddenly, looking up to your eyes.

You swallow again, wiping your face one last time. "Going home." You say honestly. "You…you wanna come?" you ask, changing your mind on what you were going to ask first. He takes a deep breath in before exhaling softly.

"Your parents hate me." He points out, before biting his lip. "It's okay. I think…I think I may catch that flight to Jersey with you though. I think…maybe… maybe I can call Jason and Steph. Maybe I can go over there for dinner." He looks away from you, before turning off the lamp next to him. The room is suddenly dark and he goes under the covers. "What do you think?" he asks, his voice a little shaky. You don't blame him; he had a hell of a night too.

"I think that's a great idea, Shane." You say, running your hand through his hand softly. He leans into your touch before scooting closer to hug you tightly to his chest. "I'm sorry today sucked." You whisper against the skin of his arm. He pauses for a second before shaking his head.

"Today was probably the most perfect day I have had for a while. Isn't that sad?"

**XXX**

**Hey guys XD Back for another installment. I love hearing your theories and reviews haha. They make me go crazy. Hopefully, this played out the way it should have. I think that you guys know my writing style too well, and guessed too quickly. Jerks. (JK). So, I think this chapter quote unquote ends the first part of TUS. Jade is done (cough). Tess is gone (whistle). Nate is getting there (cross fingers) and Shane and Mitchie are Smitchie-ing. And then there is Mark… So what comes next? Well starting either chapter 18, 19, or 20, rated M chapters. But! If you don't want that, tell me. I know I made it into a poll, but I'm giving you the chance again: **

**If you want TUS to be rated M, act now. If you don't, act now. Leave a review. Leave me a PM. Drop me an email. Find me on twitter. Hell, I want to hear your ideas. If anyone wants to, im me at bbggoood on aim. It's my FF account. I really do want to hear from you!**

**Thanks. Next chapter at 640.**

**Sandra**


	18. Chapter 18

"**What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive. I can't keep up and I can't back down. I've been losing so much time." You and Me - Lifehouse **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 18

"So, we went on our date on Sunday? Which means me and Nate have been talking for a full two days. Next week is Thanksgiving, so that leaves us…" Shane trails off, as he mentally counts. "Nine days until Thursday and we have to go to New Jersey." He says lazily against your long-sleeve-covered arm. You nod slowly, closing your eyes as you lean against the bed post. "And you get out of college for Thanksgiving break tomorrow, right?" he doesn't wait for you to nod before continuing. "So that gives you the rest of this week off and then obviously all of next week and the week after. So three week break…huh." He finishes as he yawns and snuggles his head against you.

You moan slightly, as you bring your head so that it lies on top of his. "I'm so tired." You whimper as he chuckles gently. "I hate college and I hate the stress it puts on me. Why do I put myself through this torture? I vote I just never go back, try to get a job anywhere and live off that meager winnings just so I never have to step foot in that building ever again." Shane lifts his head from where he was to look at you. You open your eyes when you feel the loss of contact and he smiles. He brings your strand of hair behind your ear before kissing you softly, then going back to his place in your arms. You smile at him, rolling your eyes. "Work is killing you too, huh? I say we take this huge vacation from life - although this right now is really nice." You finish in a whisper.

He runs his fingers down your arm before intertwining your fingers. "This is so peaceful, so much better than fighting with you." He says, tilting his head up, so that his lips brush your neck. "This is very nice." He mutters against you skin. He squeezes your hand. "I mean no fighting with anyone at all. It's like an end of an era. What will we ever do now?" he says mockingly.

You laugh and roll your eyes. "I don't know. Sleep?" you ask hopefully but he ignores you.

Suddenly, he is pulling away from you. "Hey!" he says, his eyes hopeful. You raise an eyebrow at him. "Okay, so you get out of school tomorrow, right? And I mean, I could get off work if I wanted to… I could get Sabrina or someone to take charge." His voice gets a little less enthusiastic. He sighs and falls back against the bedpost right next to you. "Although…the money thing is still there. No one has tried since I caught it, but I don't want something else to happen. But I really want a fucking break." He groans, closing his eyes tightly. He exhales harshly.

You lift his arm making him catch on and pull you close to his chest. You snuggle into him, your tired muscles cracking in protest, as he wraps his arm around your waist. "I think you should trust those girls. I've talked to everyone of them and I don't believe they stole anything." You mumble as sleep starts to overtake you.

"Mmm. I know. I don't think any of them could either, but someone did. But yeah, forget it. If they try again, I'll find out and I'll call them out on it. I can't always be on their case. They should kind of already know that stealing is a big no-no. If they don't know, then I can't have them on my team." He agrees, leaning his head on top of yours now. "But anyways!" he got hyper again, poking your side. You groan loudly, desperately wanting to just sleep. "Listen." He says, kissing and nudging your cheek. You just make a small noise that you are listening and he smiles. "We could go somewhere - leave tomorrow and go away for about a week? And then go do dinner at our respective houses?" he asks with an optimistic grin on.

You open your eyes, raising an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Where are we gonna go, Popstar?" you stifle another yawn as he shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't know." He admits with a sigh before falling back next to you. "I just want to get away, before I have to deal with my family and that craziness." He says pointedly, exhaling deeply.

"How are you and Nate?" you say quietly, picking at the comforter. You have not exactly forgiven Nate for practically attacking you in the restaurant, but you are not going to get in between them anymore. You halfway never want to even look at Nate ever again, but that's a different story. "You guys have been having lunch and random things like crazy these past two days. I miss you." You joke, wrapping your arms around his waist. He breathes out softly before nuzzling your cheek and kissing your lips again.

"We're okay. We're not perfect. We'll never be totally okay again, but we're getting somewhere. He's been telling me of the girls he has dated. Jesus. I thought you and me could be drama filled. I forgot what being a teenager meant." Shane laughs, shaking his head. You nod your head with a smile. "Let's go somewhere, Mitchie." He says, serious again while looking into your eyes. "Anywhere. I'm just so damn tired and working killing me and school is killing you, and it doesn't even have to anywhere big or expensive. Just somewhere that's not here." He begs, his voice making you laugh.

"Where, Shane? Like seriously? Where could be go? And at such short notice?" you point out, moving your body so that you are more comfortable. He shrugs, biting his bottom lip. You pat his head. "Okay. Well you think about that." You mock him and he pokes your side again. "By the way, I was talking to Mandy yesterday. Maybe me and her should get a place together." You mutter, closing your eyes nonchalantly. Shane freezes and you crack open one eyes. He is looking at you with wide questioning eyes. You sigh and bring yourself up. "I feel bad that I just like took over your space. You didn't deserve that. I'm not even helping with rent or anything." you tell him sheepishly.

He is still tense for a couple seconds before relaxing. He grabs your head and plants a soft kiss on your forehead. "We'll talk about that after Thanksgiving. For now, help me pick a place to go tomorrow, because I really want to not even think of San Fran for a while." He breathes out, before humming under his breath. It starts lulling you to sleep and you can feel yourself falling when suddenly, he hits his forehead hard. "Fuck. I forgot I have to get a singer for Friday now that Jad…" he trails off, as you lift your head and glare at him.

"You know, back when we first saw each in August, you were sitting in a chair at Black Mamba and you said like five words to me before ignoring me. You are so hot when you don't talk." You say, slapping his cheek gently. He rolls his eyes, huffing and crossing his arms. You smile before snuggling in his chest again. You close your eyes and finally go to sleep.

But you cannot help but think of what you just said.

He is a mixture of two people. One that is surly and slightly mean and quiet, and the other that is hyper and cute and acts as if he is five years old. You cannot help but wonder if that's what Hollywood did to him: spilt him up into two halves. He could only be one side of himself for so long, he had to hide the other? Is he scared to be happy and carefree with others like he is with you? Does he not like behaving so happily when others are around because he doesn't want them to take the happiness away? He doesn't let people in. He didn't let Jade in anyways. He is trying to let Nate in though, so that has to mean something, right? And of course, he has let you in.

--

"Hey. Wake up!" Shane sings as he gets on the bed. You grunt and roll over so that you are on your back, eyes still closed. You gasp softly when you feel a pair of lips on yours, nipping at you. Moaning in amusement and surprise, you keep your eyes shut as you kiss back. Shane softly lowers his body on top of yours, nudging your legs apart as he slowly kisses you. You freeze at the contact - not very comfortable with him so on top of you but his lips distract you. His hands stay on tangled in your hair as he deeps the kiss, flattening himself against you.

"Mmm. You taste yummy." You mumble against lips as he pulls away for a second. He laughs lightly, before moving his lips to your chin and then down to your neck. You arch your back as he continues to kiss your skin before moaning softly. "Shane…" you whisper and he presses his lips against your collarbone.

"Hmmm?" he asks, the vibrations making you shiver as he travels back up to your neck and then to your lips. You kiss him once, twice, three times before he pulls away. "So, I think I know where we have to go." He says, leaning down and rubbing his nose with yours. You smile up at him as he situates himself next to you. He smells good. He smells really good. "Sorry to wake you up, but I have to go in for the night rush. Plus, you have slept for like two hours, Sleeping Beauty." He pokes your side as you rub your eyes. You sneak a glance to the alarm, noticing that it is officially five pm at the moment. Stretching your arms in the air, you look at him.

"It's fine. Want me to go with you to the café? I could keep your company." You nip at your bottom lip, tasting him on you.

He shakes his head, a smile on his face. "No. You stay here and pack. I'm gonna put one of the girls in charge starting tomorrow. I still need a singer but whatever." He says with a shrug of his shoulders before getting off the bed.

You sit up and scrunch your nose. "Where are we going?" you wonder before gasping slightly. "Oh, my God. Mandy's boyfriend or whatever he is - Gabe - he's a singer. He sings all the time. You could ask him. I could get his number from Mands and set something up." Shane bites his lip, tilting his head back and forth before smiling.

"Sure, baby." He says, his eyes soft.

"Where we are going?" you repeat, as you get out of bed. Feeling hungry, you start going to the kitchen with Shane hot on your heels. He laughs.

"Well, I figure we have to at least get to the other side of the country eventually. I could get a cabin in upstate New York and we could just get away. Do something romantic? I miss just hanging out with you without our busy lives interfering. Remember that one time where at Camp Rock when we just hung out all day in the cabin and played music? That was so rad. I wanna just chill. You up for it?" he asks, the same hopefulness as before in his eyes.

You laugh before getting on your tippy toes and kissing his lips lightly. "Sure, baby." You say, mirroring his words as you open the fridge. "You know they probably don't have a cabin available for tomorrow, right? And that we need to get to New York first?' you ask, a hint of amusement in your voice. He just smiles at you.

"My brother is famous, you know?"

--

The next day after your last class of the day - Christian Moral Values, aka Ethics - that finishes at three sharp was done, Shane's sports car was waiting in front of the school as per usual. With a bright smile on your face, you maneuver through the people before opening the passenger door without even looking inside or waiting for it to be unlocked. "I'm so ready to leave." You say happily as you throw your purse at your feet.

"Yeah? Well, that's good, I guess." You freeze at the voice, looking at the driver with wide eyes. You raise an eyebrow as he starts the car.

"Shane lent you his car?" you say flatly. The curly haired boy just shrugs, putting a cigarette to his mouth before opening a window. "And the two of you now smoke…perfect." You mutter sarcastically under your breath and roll your eyes. "Where's Shane?" you ask in the same tone-less voice.

"The café got swamped and he wanted me to get you. He was going to take a shower and then get his things ready." He answers evenly, his voice void of all emotions.

"Great. Well, thanks than, Nate." You say, looking out the window. You try to keep the sarcasm clear from your voice, but you know it shown through. You halfway expect a bitch fit, but all you get is silence. He just drinks - the tension so thick and heavy. With every second, you can feel the bile rise in your throat. You can feel the hatred in your bones. You cannot even bare to look at him. The drive continues in thick silence until he goes onto Shane's street.

"Look." he says roughly, his voice a bit raw. "I'm sorry." He spits out as he stops in front of the apartment. You don't answer - you just grab your book bag and slam the door behind you. You practically run into the building, leaving Nate behind. You don't need his apologies, not when you can hardly even stomach his voice.

"Shane!" you call out against the water of the shower, leaving the front door open. If he has Shane's car, that means that he was here in the apartment - which means he will probably will come in. You hear Shane call your name and he tells you he will be quick. You walk to the living room, taking off your blazer as you hear Nate enter the apartment. You bet he is fuming.

You don't care.

"Very nice, Mitchie. I see we're trying the mature route." Nate says sarcastically, grabbing your arm in the same way he did at the restaurant.

You snort, eyes narrowing. "Oh, yeah because calling me a cunt is very mature, huh, Grey?" you whisper angrily back as the water turns off.

Nate laughs under his breath mirthlessly. "You kinda are, honey." He snaps back. You raise your eyebrows, your mother opening slightly. You chuckle humorlessly as well, crossing your arms as you look at him pointedly. Nate clicks his tongue. "I fucking hate you." He whispers in a teenager kind of way.

You smirk. "Oh, poor baby. Are you gonna tell Momm-" you trail off, stopping abruptly as his eyes widen and he growls softly under his breath. There is a moment where nothing is said before you just look away. "I'm sorry." You say tightly, shrugging awkwardly. Nate doesn't say a word. He just presses his lips together. "Whatever. I have to get my suitcase and stuff." You try to brush him off, but his sarcastic laugh stops you.

"Oh, yes, because that's what Mitchie does best: leave." He throws out. You open your mouth again, scoffing slightly, ready to argue. "No! You think Shane is the only you left? You left me too, and you never called. You never even fucking texted me. It was just, oh me and Shane are broken up, let me be a _cunt_ and not even call my best friend ever again. You know what, Mitchie? Fuck you." He says in a heated whisper.

You suck in your cheeks angrily before scoffing louder. "Fuck you too, Nate Grey." You snap back. There's another moment of just glaring at each other until you hear a door open behind you.

"Whoa. What's going on here? Is everything okay?" Shane says, looking between the two you immediately as he shakes his wet hair with a towel. The smile he had on his face slowly fades as you look away and Nate shuffles.

"Yeah, Shay. Everything is perfect." You lie, your voice betraying you.

Nate forces a smile. "We're practically best friends again." He says between gritted teeth. Shane sighs darkly, running his hands through his dark locks. You roll your eyes, going past Nate to go to Shane briefly. You don't look him in the eyes as you give him a kiss on his cheek, slightly brushing his lips before disappearing into his bedroom.

You immediately just plop down onto the bed, huffing and almost pulling your hair out. You cannot stand that little brat. Teenage hormones be damned. He needs to grow up and realize that he's a prick. You sigh and go to Shane's suitcase, folding the things he haphazardly threw in there for a while until he walked in the room. He gently puts the keys to his car down on the counter, the sound making you freeze. He just leans against the wall, and you know this has nothing to do with anything, but his dark jeans looking amazing on him. His hair is still wet and just lying on his forehead, as his long sleeve burgundy shirt clings on him. "So…?" he asks quietly after a while.

You frown at him, a bit angry with him to be honest, but the second you see his brown concerned eyes, you melt. Stupid boys and knowing your weaknesses. He comes to you, cupping your cheek before nuzzling your nose. "We need some work." You choke out, laughing at the idiocy of it all. You need more than just some work. You need days and days of it. "I don't wanna talk about it. Let's get ready, honey. I want to leave San Francisco pretty damn badly right now." You say, a hint of exhaustion in your voice.

He nods, letting it go. A small smile goes on his face as he reaches behind you to grab you something off the nightstand. You look back confused before breaking into a smile. You blush and shake your head, as he hands you a single flower. It's striking - a rose with half its petals pink and the other a light red. "A beautiful flower for a beautiful girl. Don't say I never got you anything." He says, as you wrap your fingers around the stem.

You look at him, all thoughts of Nate gone completely from your mind. You reach up and lace your fingers into the hair of the back of his head to pull you down to your lips. He smiles against your mouth, before bringing his head to the small of your back and pulling you closer. "I can't wait to lock myself in a cabin with you." You mutter against his lips. "You're the only person that makes me smile anymore."

He frowns. "That's depressing…but I get it." Suddenly, he cheekily nudges you. "I just wonder what we will do?" he says, smirking as he backs away from you, the implication clear in his voice.

You feel slight excitement go through you.

--

It's hour six in the six and a half plane ride and you are going slightly insane. Shane has a black beanie on head as well as his reading glasses as he gently hums under his breath and flips page after page of his book. His leg keeps jittering and you snuggle in closer to him, ignoring your thoughts for five seconds. You have forgotten what it feels like to not be exhausted. It seems like all you have done these past week is fight, yell and be angry. It's weird to think that the boy who has caused you so much turmoil these past few months is also the boy that can quell your heart. "What are you thinking?" he whispers softly as you kiss his chest lightly. You shake your head, smiling at him briefly. He bites his lower lip. "Tell me something." His eyebrows lower, making him seem a little vulnerable.

You think for a second. "I miss Camp Rock some days." He smiles and nods. "So many memories…I had my first kiss there, did you know that?" you tease. He laughs and kisses you softly. "First boyfriend too. First breakup. First makeup. First serious breakup. Funny enough, all with one boy." You shake your head. He pokes your side, his fingers cold as they touch your skin. "You remember when we took out the canoe one random day and we were supposed to? Then, we got stuck in the lake and had to wait until Brown and Dee found us the next day. Jeeze. My mom pulled me into the cabin and gave me one hell of a sex talk." You mutter, shaking your head.

Shane snickers. "Ha! At least, you weren't being massacred for supposedly taking a young girl's innocence." He says breathily against your neck. You shiver and push him away, feeling a little uncomfortable again. He frowns and pulls you back to him. "Hey." He whispers, kissing the back of your neck. You suck in your breath as he continues to kiss up to your ears. "I cannot wait to be alone with you." His lips pull on your earlobe before darting his tongue into your ear.

You shiver again.

This has been going on since Sunday night - ever since you got back from The Fight. He has turned on the charm and his lips have become looser. He gentle, so gentle, with you but it is scary. You cannot change that. It is just scary to think that he knows the rules of the game perfectly and you don't even know the name of it yet. He has seen parts of you that no one ever has before and you know that he might want to do more, but you aren't sure you are ready. But you kind of are because you want him too, and you want _that_. Not crazy sex - but just someone that will hold you afterwards and that will be there every night. You never realized how much you just want someone to care, especially when it seems like the world is out to get you.

And he's there - even when he _hated_ you, he protected you.

He tilts your head towards him, kissing you fully on the lips. "Ahem." You both jump and look to your left. An embarrassed stewardess raises her eyebrows. "Seatbelts please. The plane is about to land."

About three hours later - after finding your suitcase and getting a rental car to drive from JFK to your destination - you arrive to a small ski resort. It is freezing up there, especially after so many days in California. Shane wraps his arms around you tightly as he checks in and finds out what cabin you are situated in at the front desk. You look around, catching the eye of a teenage girl. Her eyes are slightly narrowed, obviously trying to figure out where she knows Shane (and maybe you) from. You blush softly and look away, just as Shane is given the keys and a map to your cabin. "Ready to go to our home for the next week?" he says with a smile, interlacing your cold fingers.

The cabin is small but still big enough to amaze you. It has a small living room as well as a kitchen and an outdoor Jacuzzi. There is a small deck and a little porch area that is equipped with a barbeque and random games. Upstairs, there is a bathroom, with another Jacuzzi, and of course, the master bedroom which is gorgeous.

You have been living with Shane for a while now. It was weird at first, especially considering the fact you have never been so close to a guy before. But you are comfortable with him. You have always been. Plus, Shane tries not to too many outrageous things and he does respect you. Yet, you are always hesitant when you find a dirty pair of boxers or when he doesn't close the bathroom when he thinks you are asleep in the morning. "This is beautiful." You breathe out, looking out the view. The snowy mountains scream with cold as you move closer to the heater.

"Wanna take a shower?"Shane asks, yawning slightly. He has already taken off his jacket, so when he lifts his hands above his head, his shirt rides up. Your eyes widen and your face goes slightly pale, and he looks at you confused, before frowning. "Not together, Mitchie. Jeeze." He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "I'm gonna go get the suitcases." He mutters, a little annoyed.

You bite your lip, swallowing slightly. You practically race to the door he just went through, stopping at the stairs. "Well, m-may-be I want to take a shower t-together." You stutter, crossing your arms across your chest. Shane just gives you a strange look before shaking his head. You groan as he walks away. "I hate my life." You mutter under your breath, as you take off your jacket.

You don't know what you want. On one hand, you are slightly uncomfortable with the fact that he has more experienced, yet on the other, you don't like that he doesn't even consider having sex with you. Like in the plane, he's all touchy, but now he gets mad at you for thinking he meant that he wanted to have sex…

God, this is so confusing.

You sit down on the edge of your bed. You do get him. Making out and taking a shower together are two very different things. And you know he has been uncomfortable with you, especially after he walked in on you changing. Plus, the times where he has undressed you have never been exactly after some great make out session. It's confusing. Sex is so very confusing.

"So you sure you don't want one?" You jump in surprise as he sets down the two suitcases near the drawers. You clear your throat and shake your head. He rolls his eyes again dismissively and then shrugs his shoulders. "Okay, then, I'm gonna jump in if you don't mind." He says, before taking off his shirt. Your eyes widen as they trail down his fit, tan chest and abs, before awkwardly darting them to the window when his eyes catch yours. You clear your throat again, moving quickly off the bed.

"I need to um… I need to do…something." You sputter out, not even looking at him. You push past him and practically race upstairs. Ten to one, in his mind he was thinking something or another on the lines of 'she has seen me shirtless before so why is she freaking out?' Why are you freaking out?

Because now you aren't obsessing over Amy or Sam or Nate or Tess or Jade or Shane all at the same time. You are just obsessing over Shane, and… you hate hormones. Officially, you hate hormones - so much. You go to the living room, throwing yourself onto the couch. You grab your iPod until you find Haley, your favorite artist, and turn it all the way up. An hour later, you are dozing off and Shane is coming down the stairs. He lightly shakes your shoulder on his way towards the kitchen. "Hey. You hungry?" he calls over his shoulder.

Your eyes flutter open, as you take out the earplugs. Yawning, you make your way to the kitchen, trying to fight the blush the goes to your face at the site of his wet hair and clingy shirt. "Fuck." You say under your breath. He raises an eyebrow and freezes as he opens the fridge, obviously hearing you. Biting your lip, you forcibly shake your head, before sitting on one of the stools at the counter with a sigh.

"You sure you don't want a shower?" he asks evenly, still frozen.

You frown, not looking up from the speck on the counter you are so fascinated by. "Do I smell?' you ask, almost grumbling.

He finally closes the fridge. "No." he stretches the word as he puts a water bottle on the counter. "You just seem a little…on edge today." He says with raised eyebrows.

You laugh mirthlessly. "Yeah, well you're on edge." You try to insult back and obvious fail. He cracks a smile and you frown deeper. He sighs and comes to you, putting his hands in your hair before leaning down and kissing your lips. You moan and push yourself up to meet him further, but apparently, that was too forward for Shane because he froze.

He sighs. "I think we need to talk." He mutters, his hands going down to your arms. You sigh with frustration before shaking your head.

"No. Let's just go out to eat. Then, we could build a fire or something." You say instead with a smile. He tilts his head, looking at you pointedly but you shrug him off.

--

Nights with him are torturous. He holds you close to him, protecting you always, but he never tries anything. You think back to after that one time you both went to club together. If you would have stayed that night, he would have continued with his wondering hands and to be honest, you didn't want that - not then. Not when he was someone else's boyfriend and he was drunk and you were drunk. You didn't need that. But now, he isn't someone else's boyfriend; he's yours. Much more than that, you want him to hold you for different reasons.

It's the third night there that something changes. "Hey, wanna go to bed. I'm exhausted." He jokes as he mockingly yawns, before he stretches his arms high above his head. You laugh as you roll your eyes. You peel off your wet sweater before undoing your equally as damp and heavy jeans. You had quite a non-exciting night. What was meant to be filled with playing in the snow and maybe skiing actually turned into running away from the rain and thunder. Literally, twenty minutes after you excited the cabin, you are back in.

Pouting, you go towards the bathroom, as you wring your drenched hair. Suddenly, you smile. "Hey! Hey." You say, elbowing Shane in the chest. He grunts and looks at you as he takes off his shirt. "We have a Jacuzzi in the bathroom. Hotness." You sell with a smile. He laughs and looks in the bathroom for a second before turning to you. "I didn't bring a bathing suit, but I could use…my under…wear." You trail off lightly, as you watch his eyes darken and then look to the floor. He bites his lips harshly, a light pink fluttering to his face. You awkwardly stand there confused, looking around to see what the problem is. Then, you see what the problem is. Your cheeks turn bright red as you cross your arms over your chest. "_And,_ I'm wearing a white shirt. Great." You want to kill yourself. Seriously. Just jump off one of those pretty little mountains near you. "At least, it's nothing you haven't seen before. And maybe you'll want to sleep with me now." You mutter bitterly under your breath.

You jump when he puts a hand on you but don't turn to face him. He obviously heard you. Really, you should stop talking under your breath around him.

It is at that moment when you realize that something had changed. His hand pushes your soaking shirt up from behind and he comes close to you. "Every fucking time." He groans under his breath, as his fingers go back down to touch your exposed back. Your drenched shirt stays in place, lying halfway up our back as his other hand goes to your cold hip bone. You shiver. "I try so hard to not put that on you - to not make this about sex, because I don't want it to be. I really fucking don't. You deserve more than that, but you test me all the damn time. You either want it or you don't, but either way you're a fucking hormone bomb but it's whatever because I stand that. But Jesus Christ, Mitchie." He pulls you roughly towards him, growling slightly.

"Shane." You say shakily but he doesn't let you speak.

"No. You do these damn things on purpose and it's killing me and I don't know how to resist you. Do you understand that? I don't know how to resist you sometimes, and you standing there with your jeans undone and your shirt fucking see through isn't helping things. So do me a favor and stop." He says, his voice raw. He tells you to stop but his hands are clawing into the skin of your arm and hip. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want it to be stupid or in some random bed. I want it to be special, at least for you. But I cannot do that…I can't pretend that I don't want to _fuck_ you, so please help me out here and stop. We're too new at this relationship for it to be about sex already, so please for the love of God, calm down. " His breath is so shaky when he finishes.

You gulp softly, still facing away from him. The funny thing is that you didn't plan the white shirt thing and you weren't look for some kind of sexual game in the Jacuzzi. You really did just want to get warm. You turn your head, a frown on your face. His eyes are sharp on yours, as your arms tighten around your chest. You huff softly and roll your eyes angrily before trying to push past him. "Whatever." You mutter.

He grabs your arm, stopping you. "Mitchie, I just want it to be special." He repeats, his voice stern. Your heart stops at those words. "Okay?" his voice softens a little, as he tries to shake his feelings off. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you or anything, but I just… I don't want it to be rushed or… you deserve the world, my girl. I'll do everything to make it special." He whispers before kissing your forehead.

--

"I'm coming." You croak, rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes. Shane kind of turned over when you tried to shake him awake, making you groan. Someone is pounding away at the front door at one in the morning. Sighing, you lean against the doorway before opening the door. The minute you see the person on the other side of the door, your eyes go wide and you gasp. "Oh, my God."

**XXX**

**Whoa. Long chapter. I hope you liked it. Do u think Mitchie is corrected or Shane? Obviously, they have known each other for years, but that doesn't change the fact that they are brand new to this relationship. Shane thinks they should wait, but he isn't denying his attraction to her. And Mitchie, well, M is just a confused mess. If you think about it, it's like Joe Jonas is undressing in front of you and holding you and kissing you, and even though you have your morals, every time he gets close you want to just forget those pesky morals. So, this chapter doesn't start the M rated, but it kinda sets up the scene. **

**A lot of you want M rated chapter haha. They are coming ;D trust me. **

**And oh, oh. Who's at the door?**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews. I'm posting this chapter early because you guys kicked ass in reviews for this past chapter. Do it again? I swear, the more you review, the faster the chapter goes up haha. Tell you what? Here's a stupid challenge (that if it actually goes through I will honor) if by Wed, feb. 10****th****, you can give me 700 reviews, I will post the next chapter. If you want the next one, review XD. I will post. If you rather wait, haha, then you only have to get to 680. Either way, it will be posted soon, hopefully.**

**Love you all.**

**Sandy**

**PS -Review and pm meeeeeeee. I'm in quite a good mood. **


	19. Chapter 19

"**The words rot and fall away. If a stupid poem could fix this home, I'd read it every day." Stay Together For the Kids - blink 182**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 19

_Knock, knock, knock._

"I'm coming." You croak, rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes. Shane kind of turned over when you tried to shake him awake, making you groan. He just waved you off and told you to get it. Someone is pounding away at the front door at one in the morning. Sighing, you lean against the doorway before opening the door. The minute you see the person on the other side of the door, your eyes go wide and you gasp. "Oh, my God." You squeal before jumping in to wrap your arms around her neck.

"Mitchie!" she laughs, her body cold and shaking against yours. She shakes the snow off her body when you pull away, your eyes excited. "Jesus, Shane couldn't pick some place not as cold? It's freaking cold, man." She breathes out roughly, rubbing her hands together. You laugh before letting her come in the cabin and then attacking her with a hug again.

This time you stay in the embrace a little longer. "Uh, man, Caity, I have missed you so much! What are you doing here?" you say with the biggest smile on your face. Tears gather in your eyes as you look at her. She represents your home, your comfort, the things you have left, and there she is - right in front of you.

"Your boyfriend called me two days ago. Asked me if I wanted to come up a day early to spend with you and the head down to Jersey." She tells you, patting your hair down. You open your mouth surprised and turn around, not expecting Shane to be at the foot of the stairs but at the same time, completely expecting him to be near. You give him a big smile and he just leans against the wall, a secret smile on his face.

"Come on! You have to tell me everything from back home! How's Sierra? Did Katy and Shawn hook up last weekend or what? Tell me!" you laugh mockingly. Caitlyn knows you are kidding but she goes with the part.

"Oh, my God! You have to hear this. So Katy totally slept with…We lost the boy." She laughs. You look behind you to look at the staircase and see it empty. You smile before pulling Caitlyn to the couches. She smirks under her breath. "You would think by now he would get we only pull that shit when we want to get rid of him. Jeeze, it's Camp Rock all over again."

The next morning is a little hard. You go to breakfast and have an amazing meal, but every second that passes you know that it brings you closer to being apart from Shane. You are spending the holiday with your family and he with his, and honestly, after this week, you know you need a little separation because you might explode, but at the same time, you love him holding you at night. It's a confusing separation to say the least.

You jolt slightly when his hand brushes your knee before settling down on your thigh. You give him a look but he isn't paying attention. Shane and Caitlyn have been catching up excitedly, with a bunch of eye rolls and snide comments. You wouldn't expect any less, and even though Cait and Shane have both tried to make you talk, you have stayed on the quiet side.

"Okay, the car's packed. I'll just wait over here so you guys can say your goodbyes." Caitlyn says a while later once you are back at the cabin. The plan is that Cait goes home with you, and Shane takes the rental to his house. You smile at her softly as Shane comes close to you. His hands go down your arms as Caitlyn disappears. He rubs his nose against yours.

"I'm gonna miss you." He whispers against you lips. You close your eyes leaning into him, trying to remember his smell forever. His lips softly touch yours as he leans down to wrap his arms around you fully. You bring your arms up to his neck, intertwining your fingers at the base of his head. He bites on your lower lip. "Remember I'm just a phone call or text away, okay, baby." He reminds you, rubbing your noses again.

--

New Jersey is cold. You knew upstate New York would be freezing - you were in the snowy mountains - but fall in New Jersey should not be this cold. It's actually funny, the way Caitlyn is in a small shirt and you are wrapping a sweater around your freezing arms. That's what living in California will do for you. It's almost two in the afternoon but it feels like it's nighttime. Everything seems so different.

Your eyes keep going from the multicolored trees to the small homes as the car goes to your house. You literally turn your head to look at your old high school as you pass it, feeling nostalgic and a little sad. You miss home. Caitlyn honks the horn softly and you look forward again, smiling at the kids who are playing baseball on the street. You watch as they filter over to the side and you pull out your phone. _New Jersey is weird now_, you text to Shane. A little while later you get a text back -_ I haven't even seen anyone and I'm freaking out. I'm not even at the place yet. :l _You frown. You know this night is either going to be amazing for Shane or be the worse day ever.

Too bad you cannot spend Thanksgiving together.

Then again, you are glad you are home. As soon as Cait stops the car in front of your brown and white small house, you practically dive out and start running in. Your friend just laughs and shakes her head. "Mom!" you call out as soon as you open the front door. You take a deep inhale, savoring the smell of pies cooking and the constant smell of cinnamon that this holiday always seems to have. "I'm home." You say as Caitlyn walks to the front door. She stays on the other side, smiling at you.

"Mitchie!" you suddenly feel two arms fling around your neck, pulling you close to their body. You giggle but take comfort in your mother's embrace, suddenly feeling tears come up. You hear barking as your fluffy golden puppy comes trotting down the stairs as quick as it can and then two paws scratching at your side. You laugh and get off of the hug to reach down and pet the dog behind the ears. Looking up with a smile, your mother claps her arms together. "God, I have missed you." She says, trying to hold back the tears.

Your smile fades a second and you go back to hug her again. "I missed you too, Mommy." You whisper and she kisses your forehead. She pulls away to look you over before putting her hands on your cheek.

"Come on inside. Caitlyn are you coming in?" you snap your head back to the doorway. Caitlyn is texting someone and trying not to intrude on the private moment. She looks up and smiles.

"I would love to, Ms. Torres, but I have to go brave the storm that is my family. All my cousins, all my aunts, all my uncles, all my everything have decided my house is going to be where this massive dinner they have thought up will be. So, of course, I have to be the babysitter for all the little brats running around." She finishes with a laugh. You frown dramatically before reaching for her as well. You give her a tight hug. "We'll get together tomorrow?" she asks.

You nod, letting her go. "And shop and shop. Call Sierra and Katy and all them. I miss them." You tell her, slapping her arm playfully. She clicks her tongue and nods, waving at the both of you. As soon as the door is closed, you turn back to your mother. She puts on a huge smile, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Hey Mom." You say, leaning into her touch.

"Hey honey. God how I have missed you. Look at you. All grown up now. Where's my little girl?" she cradles your face as you smile at her.

"I'm here. I missed you too Mom. God, California is so different than here. I'm like getting reintroduced to New Jersey now. It's hilarious." You tell her and she smiles, taking her hand off you. "Like the trees - I have missed seeing the change in colors and the cold wind and the warmth of it all. I sort of thought that California being always warm was a lie and that they did have fall. Turns out that is not true." You laugh and she gives you a pointed look. You look around your living room.

Everything is the same but so different. The photos are the same but now there are more on the mantle than when you left. The curtains are still green but have been changed to a softer green. The couches are the same but in different places. The television has been switched to a bigger one but left in the same place the old one was.

"I made all your favorites for tonight." She says excitedly to you, pulling you into the kitchen. You smile and ask where your father is. She waves her hand dismissively. "He and the boys are outside trying to fix that mess of a car. Oh, did you know the Chevy broke down two months ago. Oh, God, it was horrible." She leans in closer. "Actually, it was wonderful. I got my Prius finally. You of course can drive it around while you are here." She laughs before going into the kitchen.

You just shake your head, rolling your eyes amused. Usually your brother got preferential treatment, but it looks like three months away plus a creep and a break in give you a bit of a leeway. "The boys?" you ask good-humoredly. You drop off your duffle bag on the floor before taking off your sweater.

She opens the fridge door. "Oh, yeah. Your brother and James. They have all decided they are now mechanics. Whatever. As long as they stay out of my kitchen." She laughs before closing the door, taking out butter. "But anyways, tell me about San Fran and how much lamer it is compared to New York." She says with a raised eyebrow.

"Mom."

She frowns. "You know I want you here sweetheart. I don't like that place. In three months, all these things have happened. And that boy!" you scoffs disgustedly. "I want you here Michelle."

You roll your eyes, frowning deeply at her. "First off, that boy is my boyfriend and I do care about him a lot. Second, you used to like him. You used to say he was the perfect first boyfriend and that he was amazing in general. Third, who the hell invited James and why the hell was he invited at all?" you angrily sound off at your mother, crossing your arms furiously.

She opens her mouth but the back door opens at the same time. "Hey, Ms. Torres, can I steal some hot chocolate or something? It's freezing. Oh, hey love." He comes in rubbing his hands together and immediately the images come rushing to your mind. The countless times he had stood you up. The times he never cared about you when he was with the guys. The way he yelled at you because you wouldn't sleep with him. The way he would try to force you into his bedroom all the time. The names he called you.

James reaches to hug you. "Don't." you say in a low dark voice. You push him off and go upstairs to your room, sending him one last glare. You can feel the tears come to your eyes as you push open your door. Nothing has changed. The walls are still pink from when they painted it when you were seven. The lamp is still the same one you have had your whole life. The bookshelf is filled with the books you had to leave behind.

You drop your coat on the bed, wiping the stray angry tears. You pull out your phone furiously, sitting down roughly on your bed and facing the door. The white door is now bare, void of that poster you used to have when you were fifteen. You look to your left, your keyboard still there with your guitar leaning against it. You almost smile until you hear a small knock on your door. Scoffing you stand up, feeling the tears again. You quickly text Shane before opening the door, an angry scowl on your face. "Honey-" your mother starts but you shake your head, turning around.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Inviting him? I don't want him here." You glare at her before looking out the window.

"Honey, stop. James is a good guy. He's been helping your dad and has been helping me around the house for months. You should think about him again. He is a great guy and you know… could one day be an amazing husband. Don't take things that happened when you were eighteen to heart." You gape at her, scoffing before just shaking your head.

Your phone vibrates. _The ex?_, Shane texts back. You can feel your eyes fill with angry tears as you turn your back to your mother. _They are trying to make us get married or something. What do I do?_, you text him back. "Honey, please. Just come down stairs and we'll set the table and have a good dinner. James is a good guy. Give him a chance; you never know how happy he will make you." She says, coming behind you. You shrug out of her embrace and glare at her.

"I have a boyfriend, thank you very much. So if you will excuse me, I'm going to take a shower." You say drily, your grip on your phone harsh. She frowns but doesn't say another word.

Neither does Shane. He does not text you back. So much for only being one phone call or text away.

--_Shane-- _

You breathe in sharply, stopping in front of the blue and brown house. You have never been inside; the move in day was literally a week after you separated from your family. It took you months to call Jason and rebuild a fragile relationship with your older brother, but you haven't seen him very much in the last four years. Can you do this? You have no idea. You just stare at the intricate design of their doorbell, not trusting yourself to press it. You don't know what will happen when you step in the foyer. You sigh and turn to your left to sit down in the small porch swing, smacking your upper thighs to find which pocket has your pack of cigarettes. When you find them, you shakily light one and put it to your lips.

For about ten minutes, you just smoke with your eyes closed, scared to enter back into the family. It's a little after two in the afternoon and you know you are supposed to go in, but…

You exhale softly but do not open your eyes when you feel the porch dip slightly with someone else's weight. A fruity perfume floats to your nose as the person leans back so that her back is against the swing. Her long hair brushes against your arm, and for a second, you really wish it was Mitchie. Sure, things are weird and complicated with the whole sex thing, but you would take telling a beautiful girl you will not sleep with her until the time is right any day of the year than have to deal with your family.

But you know that it's not Mitchie. "Shane, you are going to have to go inside sometime. It's cold out here." You bring your hand up to run through your hair. Instead of looking at the woman, you look away to the many little houses around the street, each with many lights on. You swallow hard; you actually wish the girl was your mother. You miss her so much and you regret so much. If you would have known that your mother was going to die, you never would have caused such a stupid fight. You wish that you were with her that day. You wish that you had not ignored Jason's calls and just answered them. At least then, you would have seen your mother alive one last time.

So many regrets.

"I'm scared." You say the words clearly, still looking at the white fences all around the houses. "I'm scared to face Jason and the life he has built. It's like, he didn't go for the famous route like Nate did and he didn't hate me like Nate did. He just accepted what happened and waited for me to reach out for him while never getting too out of reach. He made you his main priority and he has no regrets. I envy him." You whisper the last sentences before bringing the cigarette back to your lips.

She shuffles for a second. "Jason is a good man. He has provided for me and he loves me - and he loves with all of his heart. He never understood what happened, but to him, that didn't stop you from being his little brother. Every time he thinks about what happened between the three of you and with your mother and your father, he gets so upset. He loves you Shane." You feel a single tear run down your face as you bring your hand up to your cheek. You take another puff.

"I don't know what to do, Stefani. I honestly hate myself for all I've done." More tears run into your voice as you turn to look at her. She looks mostly the same as the last time you saw her, except she's older. She's already twenty-five, and from what you can see, pregnant. Your eyes flicker down to her stomach and you hesitantly reach your hand over to touch her belly. You wipe your face with you other hand as she puts her hand over yours. "How far along are you?" you whisper, as you let your hand slip off from her.

"Six months. I don't know the sex yet, but we're excited." She says with a small smile. You look up to get eye contact. Your mind is screaming at you, yelling at you to apologize or to hug her or to do something -anything. Instead, you look away again and put the stick up to your mouth. "Jason has already done this elaborate nursery room. It's insane." She goes on lightly. After a while, she puts a hand on your bicep. "Come on, Shane. Let's go inside." She comforts you. You take a deep breath and stand up and then help her get up. The two of you go to the door once again, except this time instead of stopping, she goes straight in.

You take a deep breath again, before swallowing harshly. Then, you enter.

"Hey, baby. I brought the pie you asked for." Stefani calls out to her husband. They recently got married; you just couldn't bring yourself to go to the ceremony.

"Oh, great. Set it down in the dining room." Jason calls back from presumably the kitchen. You stand there awkwardly, taking in all the homely decorations with a clean sweep of the house. Everything about the inside screams love and home and warmth. It's everything you have made yourself forget. "Stef, did you get the…Oh hi." Your brother trails off as he meets your eyes. You breathe in deeply and Jason stops in his tracks. His eyes are older now, more mature. He just stares at you for a couple seconds with those eyes before taking a step forward and sticking his hand out. You look at it momentarily before hesitantly meeting his hand with your own.

Two seconds later, Jason is pulling you towards him with a hard tug. You stumble forward as he engulfs you in a hug. "Jay." You say, the breath knocked out of you.

"Shane, I'm so glad you are here." He whispers in your ear, hugging you tightly. He puts his hands on your shoulders, pushing you back slightly to give you a good look. "Jeeze, what are you now? Twenty two? You're still such a kid." He says. You shrug, cracking a small smile.

"I shaved before I left." You joke softly. "It makes me look younger." You say and Jason smiles at you. You turn your head slightly to see your little brother start to come down the stairs. He is quiet, hands in pocket as he walks slowly, his eyes trained on you. You give him a half nod and he nods back. A quiet exchange but one void of anger. Jason looks between the two of you, as Nate finally gets to the last step. "Hey, man." You mutter, as Jason's hands slips from your shoulders.

He leans against the rail, curly hair entering his eyes. "Hey." He says evenly before shuffling his feet and looking down. Suddenly, he's looking up again. "I'm glad you finally got here. I've been Jason's little food taster all day. It's driving me insane." He groans, as Jason scoffs. Your older brother crosses his arms and looks at Nate with a glare.

"Hey! My cooking is great!"

"Your cooking sucks." Nate counters, as Jason rolls his eyes. They start bickering before walking to the kitchen. You just watch them, the smile fading. Stefani comes to you, surprising you as she puts a hand on your chest.

"Hey. Don't look so down. Jason's cooking doesn't actually suck. Nate has just been testy because of his blood sugar, so it's been complicated but you know Jason. He doesn't live on the same plane that Nate does." She smiles, before wrapping her soft hand around your wrist. You take a breath before following her into the kitchen. The smell is the first thing you notice. It smells like the best meal you will probably ever have mixed with sprinkles of whatever family smells like and topped off with warmth and love.

It feels like you are intruding. This isn't your life anymore.

When you were younger, you were constantly helping make food. You loved to cook and make new things, especially during Thanksgiving. At ten years old, as well as wanting to be an astronaut, a famous singer and a doctor, you wanted to own a café. You wanted to give people a little bit of _home_ and for some reason - probably the cinnamon - cappuccinos always reminded you of home. It was a stupid dream - at least it turned into one once you turned eleven and your brothers started making fun of you. In the end, you became the famous singer and forgot about why you wanted to open a café - just that you had to open one.

You forgot why it was your goal, just that it was.

"Here, man. Taste this." Jason says, lifting a spoon filled with red sauce and reaching towards you. Stepping forward, you place your lips on the tip before _mmm_-ing at him. He smirks triumphantly and gives Nate a pointed look. Your little brother rolls his eyes just as your phone vibrates. Excusing yourself for a second, you look down to see Mitchie's name flashing on the screen. Smiling slightly, you open the text.

_James is here. I thought Caitlyn was just kidding. She wasn't._, it read. You raised an eyebrow, confused slightly. Who was James again?

_The ex?_, you respond. A second later, she responded with a _yes_ in all caps. _They are trying to make us get married or something. What do I do?_, the rest of the text reads. Suddenly, your phone is being taken from your hand. Jason shakes his head like he's scolding you. "You know the rule, Shane. No phones allowed on major holidays. Whoever you are texting, you can text after we eat." He says, putting your phone in his pocket.

You look at him with an amused smile. "You do know I'm no longer seventeen right? Plus, my girlfriend is getting harassed by her ex-boyfriend slash her parents or something like that." You say uncertainly, stumbling over _girlfriend._ Jason looks up surprised, his eyes slightly wide. Stefani gasps lightly, a smile on her face.

"I didn't know you were with someone, Shane. If she's having problems at her house, she can come here." She says, looking for Jason for confirmation before turning back to Shane. "What's her name? Tell me about her." She says, enthusiastically as she takes out a pan from the oven. Nate snickers, rolling his eyes. You glare at him and Jason sighs softly.

"Her name is Mitchie." Nate tells her, his eyes glued to you. Stefani's eyes widen somewhat and her smile fades a bit. "Funny enough, the same exact name as the last one. I think he only dates Michelle's." he says sarcastically, clicking his tongue. You bite your bottom lip as Jason glares at Nate.

"Don't start, Nathaniel." He says tersely, looking at him sternly. The air suddenly gets a little icier and Stefani is left feeling like a jerk. You smile apologetically at her.

"Actually, _the last one_ was called Jade Laurens. She's kind of an up-and-coming singer, but we broke up." You say lightly. She nods.

"So why did you break up?" she asks innocently, trying to make conversation. Nate snorts loudly. Both Jason and yourself give him a harsh glare and Nate frowns.

"I think I'm going to go to the other room." He says with an eye roll.

"I think that's best, you annoying nineteen year old." Jason says, waving him off with a towel. Nate grabs the plates and utensils on counter with another eye roll and disappears to the dining room. "Hey, don't stress about it. He's just being Nate - a lovable asshole." Jason says to his wife, wrapping his arms around her. She smiled up at him and reached over to kiss his lips.

You look away before awkwardly grabbing some napkins Nate left behind and heading for the dining room. He is already setting up his third place when you come in. He glances up before going back to what he is doing. "So where is the girl anyways?" he asks, trying to be nonchalant. You evenly tell him she's at her family's house. "And what an about an ex of hers?" he asks, still not looking up.

"I don't know. James something. I don't really know much about him. It doesn't matter. I know how she feels about him and I trust her." You say, taking some utensils from him. Nate flinches slightly and you swallow. "I trust you too…" you trail off before sighing. Nate doesn't continue the conversation but just continues working. "So how many people are coming?" you ask, when you count up the placemats.

Nate clears his throat, scrunching his nose as he tries to remember. "Uh, us and then my friend Hayden… Do you remember Hayden? She was the one with the really black hair that is kind of curly, and she's short, spunky? I used to like date her when I was fourteen or something, before…everything." He finishes awkwardly. You bite your lip, as you flash through the girls.

"Sarcastic, annoying somewhat aka your little twin? Yeah I remember her. You guys are still friends? Or are you dating? Because if you are, I'm gonna have to tell her you have kissed Tess Tyler and I know that will be a turn off for her." You poke his side softly. He shrugs at you, moving away from you.

"Tess wasn't that bad." Is all he says. You snort, much like he did before. He plays with a napkin. "Seriously. She was there when a lot of people weren't." he mutters, before placing the napkin down. "But anyways, Hayden is coming. She's here in New York, living by herself, so I invited her to come down. Plus, you can tell her about Tess. I'm not romantically interested anymore. She's my best friend." He explains to you, finishing the last place.

You nod. "And the other two chairs?" you ask, nodding to the extra place. Nate freezes, his ears turning red. "Nate?" you raise an eyebrow.

Your little brother sighs, rolling his eyes. "You missed a lot, Shane." He swallows before shaking his head and going back into the kitchen. Frowning, you are left completely alone in the dining room, getting hit with the feeling of intruding once more.

_--Mitchie--_

You eventually go out of your room, a frown on your face. From the stairs, you can see the men are all watching the game and your mother is cooking. Just the image of James sends your mind into a craze, and you angrily go back upstairs. Entering your room again, you close the door harshly, knocking over some things on your bookcase. You jump as the noise hits your ears before going over and picking the things up.

A small smile goes on your face as you recognize the old things in your hand. Locking your door, you go to your bed, swinging a leg on your bed and plopping down on it. You reach into your pocket again. _Where are you?_ You text Shane with a slight frown before setting your phone on the small table next to you. Taking a deep sigh, you go back to what you were doing.

The first thing you pick up is a small old yellow book. Mitchie's songs. You flip through the yellowing pages, looking at the blue and black ink that has managed to stay all these years. You notice random pictures have been inserted in between the pages, and you feel tears come to your eyes as you look through them.

One of the pictures is of you and Caitlyn, a month into the first time you went to Camp Rock. Her hair is curly and filled with blonde highlights, while you have a brownish red tint in yours. You both look so innocent and happy.

The next is off Caitlyn and Nate goofing off. They are playfully wrestling while making faces at the camera. You remember taking this picture. You were laughing uncontrollably; it's the reason why the photo is un-centered.

The last is of you and Shane when you were sixteen and eighteen, respectably. Your arms are wrapped around each other. His hair was long and shaggy and yours was flying in the wind, but the smiles on your faces are huge. You are hugging the life out of each other, so happy and carefree. It's amazing.

You smile widely for the first time since you last saw him.

--_Shane--_

"And touchdown! Sweet." Jason exclaims with a smile. You just smile, before taking a sip of the beer he provided you. Nate is watching the television screen intensely as Stefani just laughs. She looks at her watch after a second and taps Jason's shoulder. "Okay, guys. We better start getting all the food out…but I really want to watch the game." He whines slightly, standing up reluctantly.

You finish most of the beer before standing up after Jason. As soon as he leaves, you turn to Nate, handing him the rest of your beer. "Stay here. Watch the game. I'll take care of everything else." you say simply, and as soon as Nate takes the bottle, you disappear back into the kitchen. For about two minutes, the three of you move the mountains of food to the other room just as the doorbell rings.

Nate groans. "I got it." he mutters bitterly, turning down the volume on the television slightly. "Oh, hey. You made it." you hear your brother say, his voice softer.

"Uh huh and look who I found." A friendly girl's voice says. You figure that is Hayden as you set the turkey on the table. You coincidently catch a glance between Stefani and Jason, as his face slightly pales. Jason sighs, letting go of the plate before coming to you.

"Shane, we need to talk." He says in a low voice. You raise an eyebrow as Nate addresses the others.

"Oh, hey Gena. Hey Dad. How was your trip?" he asks. You drop the fork you have in your hand. You look at Jason with wide eyes, feeling your face whiten. Jason flinches.

"Dad's here?" you hiss, suddenly looking widely to see if you can get a glimpse of him through the small door connecting the dining room and the living room. "Shit, Jason. Shit. Does he know I'm here? Please tell me he knows I'm…who's she? Oh my God. Is that his girlfriend? Is he dating? What about Mom?" you say in practically one breath. Jason puts his hands on your upper arms, bringing you back in the dining room instead of halfway out the door.

"Will you calm down?" He hisses back to you. "Yes. That's his girlfriend. Her name is Gena Martins and she's a very nice woman. It's been two years, and that's not some excuse or something, and plus, you know Dad. He loved Mom with all his heart, but he also doesn't know how to live without a wife, okay? Give her a chance and don't judge. And yes, he knows you would be here. It's why he made the trip, so help me God, if you run away tonight or make things worse, I will hurt you." Jason threatens before letting go of you. You frown at him but straighten up.

"Whatever." You mutter under your breath as you cross your arms.

"So, where's Shane, Nathaniel?" you hear your father say. You close your eyes tightly, looking up at the ceiling with a grimace. You can handle Nate and his bitchiness. You can handle Jason and Stefani and their homeliness. You really cannot handle seeing your Dad again and facing him. You hear Nate click his tongue and start to answer, so you suck it up and turn around. You through the door into the living room.

The first person you briefly notice is Gena. Unlike the twenty year old you halfway expected, she is a forty-something mom-looking woman with a warm aroma about her. But you quickly turn away from her to go behind Nate. Your father's eyes immediately look past your little brother to you. He swallows as he takes you all in, starting from head to toe. "Shane." He says evenly. You nod, sticking your hands in your pocket. You don't know what to say. You don't know how to act. You're scared if you say one word, a bomb will set off. "Son, nice to have you home again. Is dinner ready?" he suddenly turns to Jason who came through the kitchen.

"Um…yeah." He says awkwardly, looking from you to him quickly. Your father smiles.

"Great." He says, clapping his hands together. He comes towards you and Nate, clasping his hand on your shoulder. "Come on, son. Tell me about what you have been doing." He says, his eyes looking old like Jason's. Your eyes flash with something but you nod. Nate rolls his eyes as your father goes in front of you to go through the door. Nate clasps your shoulder much like your dad did seconds before.

"Come on, prodigal son. Wouldn't want to keep Dad waiting would we?" Nate sings before stepping in front of you and going through the door as well. Once again, you are left alone - this time feeling like maybe you can get home again.

--_Mitchie--_

"How about we say a prayer?" your mother says, reaching for your hand. You don't even smile at her as you let her take it and hesitantly give your other hand to James. He smiles at you, his blond hair getting in front of his green eyes. His grip on your hand is almost bruising, and you curse your mother again for making you sit next to him. "Lord, we thank you for this dinner today and for keeping us all in good health. My lovely daughter is doing amazing in school and we all miss her very much. We wish she would look into New York schools, but for now, we will accept her living so far away." You roll your eyes, your mouth set in a straight line.

James squeezes your hand again.

"And we thank you for allowing our amazing son to complete high school with perfect scores. We thank you for all the blessing you have bestowed on us, from Steve's promotion to my mother's health to even having James here celebrating with us. Thank you, God for all you have given us. Amen." She finishes and everyone but you joins in for the last word.

You just scoff, practically pulling your hand away from James's hand. _Dude, seriously, where are you? I really need you to help me here._, you text Shane under the table. James tsks at you, nodding over to the phone. You glare at him before looking over to your father who is asking for the plate in front of you. You give it to him wordlessly as he starts to crave the turkey, laughing with your mother. "That looks delicious, Mr. Torres. If only we can make that car look this good." James jokes and your father snorts.

"I'm losing faith that anything will make that car okay again." He tells the table as he puts the first slice of turkey on your plate. You look to the other side of the table, noticing your favorite kind of pasta your mother cooked for you and that beard she knows you love. If she can figure out what your favorites are without you ever telling her them, why can't she figure out the things you hate?

"So James, how's school going? Perfect A's I bet." Your mother says with a charming smile. You put your fork down, closing your eyes for a second. You abruptly stand up, your chair scratching loudly against the floor. Everyone jumps a little before looking at you. You try to give them the nicest smile you can muster.

"I can't do this. Thanks for reminding me why I moved to California." You say, turning around and walking out of the dining room. You hear your mother call after you but you ignore her. You grab the coat you left in the kitchen and put it on, before going out the back door. You walk down the steps quickly, not even knowing where you are going to go when your phone vibrates. _I'm so sorry. I just got your texts. Jason took my phone away - long story but I just 'finished' dinner. I just didn't eat haha. My dad came and we talked for a while and I just couldn't eat without throwing up. I hope your thanksgiving is still going well :C families can be pain in the asses._

_I just left my house and am currently wondering the streets. How do u think thanksgiving is going?_, you text back as you furiously wipe at your eyes. You hate them. You really do. Who brings a person's ex who only treated her like dirt to Thanksgiving dinner? Who brings a guy that treated their daughter horribly into their home the first day she comes back? Who does that? Especially when they know you have a boyfriend. You look down when you phone vibrates again. All it has is a sad face. Two seconds later you get another text.

_Where are you? I'll pick you up._

--_Shane--_

After your dad invited you to the table, you guys talked about life and the café and music a little. It was surreal and almost made you break down. But in the end, it was amazing in a way. You didn't even have a bite of Jason's food, but you never felt more at home before. Once dinner was done and the game was back on, your father and Gena excused themselves because they still had to go to her house. Before he left, you father gave you a big hug and a pat on the back.

You silently made your way to the couch and that was when Jason remembered he had your phone. "Here you go man." He said with an apologetic smile. You rolled your eyes before frowning at the one missed call and couple text messages. It was pretty obvious as you read the messages that Mitchie was upset. You texted her quickly and it is why you are now traveling down the Garden State Parkway at seven in the evening.

You find her exit quickly but you do not find the diner she told you to meet her at for another ten minutes. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see _Sunrise Diner_ flashing at the corner of the street and you pull into the mostly empty parking lot. You jump out of your car, looking around furiously until you see a dejected figure sitting on the bench. You walk quickly to her, sitting down wordlessly and pulling her to your chest.

She immediately leans in and starts crying heavily. You just hold her while she shakes. "I hate them." She mutters, hiccupping on her words. You tighten your arms around her before kissing her tear soaked cheek. "I hate them so much." She brings her hand up roughly to wipe her tears. You frown and bring down her hands to wipe her tears yourself.

"Stop. It's okay. They are just family. They think they know what's best for you, but in reality, they know nothing. They cannot force this guy on you, and even if they try to, I'll kick his ass. I can do that you know." You nudge her stomach and she smiles lightly. "There we go. Smiling my beautiful girl." You say, leaning in and rubbing her nose. You softly press your lips to hers. "Come on, let's go have Thanksgiving dinner. A real one - just the two of us."

**XXX**

**Wow. Another long chapter. I think I deserve a medal haha. **

**But here it is!!! I promised a chapter by Wednesday if you gave me 700 reviews and you guys gave me a little bit more than that! Thank you so much! I hope you liked this chapter. I worked hard on it. did you relate to Shane more or Mitchie? Did you like the antithesis between them? Do you think Mitchie thought it was all worth it at the end?**

**So, should I do this again? Do you guys mind? If I get 755 reviews by Saturday/Sunday, I will post on Sunday by the latest. Maybe we will finally get some M action? Only if you review. Actually, if you get me to 755, I promise some M action. Haha.**

**Thanks so much guys.**

**I love you,**

**Sandy**

**PS - Happy Snow day to those who had one.**


	20. Chapter 20

"**Something so right when I hold you. I don't want to ever let you go." Let's Take Our Time - Ryan Cabrera **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 20

Two things plague your mind as you lie on Shane's bed. First, this whole arrangement between you two is too strange. Even though you are dating - and he does take you out to restaurants and the like about every Friday and Saturday and sometimes, even goes to church with you on Sunday - you are living together. You wanted to look into an apartment with Mandy when you came back from the hellish break after Thanksgiving, but you were only in town for another couple weeks before you were hopping a plane back to New Jersey for Christmas. Shane stayed in San Francisco, but the two of you exchanged gifts beforehand - but that's besides that point.

The point is you are uncomfortable living with a guy you technically have only been seeing for about two months.

Technically, between holidays, many of those weeks have been stuck on the other side of the country with your mother trying to unsuccessfully hook you up with your ex-boyfriend and then telling you she is not paying for another apartment. It was "your own damn fault for getting into that mess. Now, if you were in New Jersey, you would be safe, fed and sheltered. You know James is going to Rutgers. Why don't you look into it?" was what you mother answered when you told her your homeless situation.

The second thing that is on your mind is the fact that you have the time to think about your apartment. It's mid-January and you have been in school only a few days again, and yet, you have so much time on your hands. Shane is at work all day and when he comes home, all he wants to do is hug you and kiss you and watch a movie - which doesn't exactly bother you - but you on the other hand, go to class in the morning and then nothing. You do homework and then nothing.

Literally, half your day is wasted. You do not know enough people to just go out in the great place named California and Mandy takes more classes than you do so she's always busy. Plus, when she is free, she spends a lot of time with Gabe - who coincidently is now jamming at Black Mamba every Friday night because you recommended him to Shane. And then there is the fact Shane gets so jittery when you go to the café to do homework or to just wait for his shift to end. He constantly looks at you and he's constantly around you, making sure you're okay. The waitresses get annoyed and then the customers get annoyed - all because you go to the café. So you avoid the café as well - leaving you all alone in Shane's apartment.

Suddenly a third thing pops in your head - You need a job.

Sighing, you throw yourself back on the bed. You blow out air harshly, your bangs fluttering up crazily. You need to do something or you will go insane. You look to the time, noticing Shane won't be home for another three hours. Kicking yourself off the bed, you grab your jacket before leaving the room and subsequently the apartment. You walk aimlessly for a while; the only cars on the street are a Jeep and a Lexus. It's pretty deserted. You clap your hands softly, as you look around at the different buildings and such. A slight breeze willows through your hair and you shiver slightly. You knit your eyebrows together, crossing your arms and closing your jacket somewhat. For some reason, you can feel your heart start to beat quickly. A cold sweat goes through your body.

You look behind you and the lights of the Jeep catch your eyes. They turn off just as you turn your body around more. You take a step back, confused as your heart beats even faster. It's too dark for you to make out who's inside, but it looks like - "Mitchie?" you hear a voice say behind you as a hand goes on your arm. You scream, jumping and turning your head so quickly, your hair hits the person square in the face. He doesn't look amused. "Was that necessary?" he says sarcastically. "Calm down. I'm not the boogie man." He rolls his eyes. Your heart is still going a mile a minute. You turn around again, but the Jeep is driving away. "What's your problem?"

"Shut up, Nate." You breathe out, tripping on your own feet as you try to move away from the Jeep but him at the same time. His hands go back on your body, circling around your waist as you trip forward.

"Jesus." He curses, as he almost falls with you. You stick your hands out to stop your fall, but he pulls you back up. Suddenly, you are way too close to your boyfriend's brother. Your eyes meet rather thunderously, making your heart go even faster as he holds you too his chest. His glaze goes down to your lips before he immediately takes a step back. You stand in the same spot, your hands stuck to your chest as you just stare at him with wide eyes. Awkward silence hits the two of you and he looks down, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. You blink. He shuffles his feet. Finally taking a step back, you twirl on your heel - going towards the café now. He sucks in his air harshly before, "Mitchie." His voice is raw and he clears his throat. "Can we talk?" he asks, now rubbing his arm.

You narrow your eyes and look back at him. Suddenly, you are pissed - beyond angry. Is he doing this on purpose? Is he trying to kiss you or something to mess up your relationship with Shane? Because that will not fly. You don't want him - not that way, not in any way. "Nate, leave me alone." You spit out, shaking your head. You put your hand over your heart, still feeling it go a million miles an hour. He sighs, rolling his eyes.

"Look." he says roughly. "Shane is my brother. Shane is your boyfriend. I'm trying to start a relationship again. You are in a relationship with him. Now, personally, if it was up to me, I wouldn't care about you, but he does. And I feel bad, okay. I feel bad. I'm sorry." He says, like it's the worst thing in the world to say. His cheeks are rosy with anger. "I don't like you, but I feel for Shane. He's really hurt because of what happened, and I don't know." He shrugs. "I understand his point of view - about what happened. I get it and it's making me be angry with him impossible. So, please. Can we just talk? I want to make things right with him - and you're a part of him." He says, crossing his arms around his chest.

You press your lips together. "Or, you and me could just not talk at all, I turn around and you go back to whatever the fuck you were doing before we ran into each other." You say with a fake smile, before turning around. He sighs forcibly, scoffing somewhat.

"God, you're a bitch." He says under his breath.

You laugh mirthlessly, turning around again. "And you're an asshole!" you scream at him. He opens his mouth, his eyes lighting up with anger. "No! You knew me and you never did anything. We never did anything! You lied to Shane to try to destroy me! You were my best friend, but you don't even care about that do you. Did you ever think maybe I did call you? Maybe I called you every day for a week but I never got through. I called all the time until your number was suddenly just disconnected." You throw your hands up. He frowns, his glare faltering. "Caitlyn tried to call you and she never got through, so don't you dare come to me and say this bullshit that I hurt you!" you yell, your eyes stinging with tears.

He swallows, his eyes looking back to the past. "Tess…she…stole my number. Dontcha remember? She found my number and was texting me incessantly." He says slowly. Your mind flashes back to four years ago, a huge memory of _that_ ordeal slapping you in the face but you shake it off. You look at him, your face practically saying _"so?"_ He looks you square in the eye. "I didn't know you called. I changed my number as soon as I got to LA. I used my other phone until they could get me the number that I wanted. I never got your calls or Caitlyn's because you didn't have my number." He finishes in a mumble, his face a little pale.

You snort unattractively. "And you accuse me of not being a best friend! Please. I called, asshole, but did you? Huh. Cuz my phone number hasn't changed since I was sixteen. Where were your calls, Nate?" you throw back at him, looking at him disgustedly. He frowns deeper but doesn't say anything. "I tried." Your voice falters. "I tried. I wanted to talk to you so badly - get everything get straighten up with Shane. I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to lose him. And now… now I have him again, and so help me God, Nate, if you try to break us up again, I will kill you." You say, but there are too many tears in your voice for it to be menacing.

He still flinches. Suddenly, he is backing away. He raises his hands up like he's proclaiming innocence. "He's my older brother. I've always…looked up to him, I guess. I didn't want to hurt him. I don't…want to." He says awkwardly, his cheeks even rosier. "I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry." He says again, his eyes confused.

You sigh and shut your eyes tightly. "I hate you. You hate me. Why would you want to talk?" you ask, swallowing all the extra salvia that is in your mouth. He sighs and shrugs, falling silent. His eyes seem to be screaming something at you, but you do not understand what. He looks at you, his eyes tracing your hair and face and your chin until he is just looking at the floor. "I need to leave. I'm trying…I want to get a job." You choke out.

He looks up, a skeptical look on his face. "At eight at night? Why? Most stores are closing honey, so unless you plan to work at the twenty four hour 7-11, I suggest going back to the apartment." He says, sarcasm going back to his voice.

"Well, you know I find that their uniform flatters my figure." You shove your hands into your pocket. He smiles a little before wiping it from his face. "I still have to go." You say quickly, wrapping your arms around your chest again. He frowns and reaches for you. You automatically take a step back, your eyebrows raised and your eyes wide as a tear drips off your face.

"Mitch." He looks at you with a pain expression again. He bites his lip. "I didn't know…the phones…if I would have known that you were gonna call, or… I didn't think about it when I changed my number. I was young and stupid and…I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. I don't…" he doesn't know what to say, and you don't want him to say it.

You shake your head harshly. "Stop. I don't care. I don't want to start anything with you Nate. I can't stand you." You say, tears springing up again to your eyes. His eyes blink with surprise at the force of your words. "Who the hell do you think you are? Calling me those names. Acting like such an ass to me. You broke my heart, Nathaniel Grey and don't think I will just forgive you. I don't trust you. Why the hell do you want to talk anyways? To get under my skin? To find my weaknesses? Huh, you selfish bastard? I don't want to around you. I don't like you." Your voice is shaky and obviously emotional.

He wipes his face free of any emotion. He looks away. "Right. Why could I ever just love my brother? Why could I never been hurt and lost and just wanted to protect my brother? Did you ever think that maybe I did it to protect him? You are a liar yourself, Michelle Torres. You suck! You lie and manipulate, probably like you did when you were younger. You broke up the one band you couldn't break!" he screams at you when you open your mouth to argue. You feel a sting to your heart. "You broke us." His voice cracks. "How could I trust you? I can't. But I'm willing to make that sacrifice - I'm willing to put the hatred I have for you and your damn ways aside to try to find my best friend again and maybe patch the relationship between the three again. I didn't know you tried to fucking call me, Mitchie. That changes everything." He turns around, running his hands through his curly hair.

You laugh, your breath getting caught in a sob. "I don't care. I really don't care and it doesn't change anything - but maybe that's just the cunt in me speaking." You spit out, suddenly shaking. He breathes out forcibly, rolling his eyes. "I can't do this, Nate." You say a little softer. You close your eyes again. "I don't want this." You mutter.

"I'm sorry." He breathes out, before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away from you.

--

"Hey. I made dinner." You say, humming under your breath as he comes in through the front door. Shane drops his blazer on a sofa before coming into the kitchen. You smile widely when you see him, kissing him on his lips softly. He wraps his arms around your waist to steady you and he shrinks back in confusion. He gives you an amused smile.

"Have you been drinking?" he asks softly. You grin at him, shrugging innocently before turning back to the mash potatoes you had set aside. You hum as you put a scoop of it on his plate, grabbing your glass of wine and his plate. You put it on the small table, going around him as you set it down next to your own plate you had put down a minute before he came. He narrows his eyes at you, not moving. The bemused expression doesn't leave his face as you take another sip of wine.

"Do you want?" you say, holding out the glass. He raises his eyebrow but shakes his head before shrugging you off. He suddenly turns to go to his bedroom, telling you he'll be back in a second. When he returns, he is in pajama pants and a simple shirt, sitting down quickly. He smiles as you set down utensils for him.

"Thank you." He says sweetly, reaching for your hand. You press your lips to his cheek and he pulls your seat closer to him. You grab your plate, stabbing something or another with your fork but quickly taking another gulp of wine. The frown that is begging to go on your face and the tears that are screaming to come out are forced away by the red liquid, so all is good. "So, Nate came by today." He says nonchalantly. You raise an eyebrow, humming under your breath for him to continue. "He mentioned that there's a job opening at his record company." He shrugs.

You sit up quickly. "You're gonna record music again?" you ask surprised. Your eyes widen. You do not know whether you are happy or not; you would have thought you would be happier. Maybe you're just drunk and want to cry?

He frowns before shaking his head. "I'm done with that scene." He says a little unconvincingly. "Anyways, for you. He wants to fix things with you." You snort and go back to your glass of wine. Shane lets go of his fork, his hand going behind your chair. He twirls your hair in between his fingers. "He does. He's not that bad of a guy. He's just confused and a teenager and scared. He's lost a little. I want to help him, and you two used to be friends and I'm… I'm trying out that whole trusting the both of you thing." He says with a small smile. He pinches your cheek softly, making you look at him. Your lips are pressed in a fine line. He looks at you concerned. "Why are you drinking honey?" he asks softly. You frown and hesitantly shrug, swallowing gently. He sighs. "Baby, he's my brother and I want to make things right. I'm not saying take the job, but just… I want you guys to be friends again. I don't want drama. I'm so done with it."

You press your lips even tighter before smiling at him. "Of course, love." You promise, before taking another gulp of wine, finishing it. He frowns, taking your glass from you. You pout but allow him to stand up and put it in the sink. "Now, eat, because I kinda worked hard on this." You tease, trying to quell the tears that are begging to come out.

He nods, as he goes to the fridge and pulls out a Coke bottle and takes two cups from the top of the fridge. "Tell me what's going on baby. I can see you're upset, Mitchie." He comes back to the table. "I don't want the food to go cold, but I don't…are you okay honey?" he's honestly concerned. It's cute.

It makes you cry.

--

"So, do I look okay?" you ask, as you fix your blouse. Shane smiles and pulls you to him. He kisses you on your lips fully, his arm tight around your back. You moan, laughing at his eagerness.

"Sexy." He whispers hoarsely in your ear. "Are you trying to seduce them into letting you work there?" he says, kissing under your ear, tilting you backwards onto the dresser.

"Shane!" you squeal, laughing as he trails his lips back to yours. He's not concerned anymore. You thought about telling him about Nate, and about the fight, but… you didn't. You lied instead. You told him about your overbearing mother - which isn't really a lie - and he held you and pouted, telling you it doesn't matter because you have him. You told him that it was just a fluke and you were just PMSing, and just like that he went back to the food. "I love you, kid." You let slip out of your mouth. He gasps softly against your neck as you freeze. Suddenly, he smiles but you are freaking out too much for you to care. You push him away, swallowing slightly. "So, I'll be back later." You say quickly before giving him a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Mitch-" he tries to pull you back but you are already out the door.

You quickly go outside and you grimace when you see Nate's car waiting for you. You breathe out forcibly before climbing into his car. "I could have taken a taxi." You say coldly as you settle in the passenger's seat.

"And I could have slept in this morning. Suck it up sweetie." He responds, already darting out into the street. You roll your eyes and sigh as you bring your hands to the a.c. and pushing it to hit you in the face. His warm hands go on top of yours. "Don't touch my car." He says evenly, his hand lingering on yours a little too long. You let it slip from under his and you put it back on your lap. "You know, darling, I don't need to give you this job, but Shane told me you're going insane. Plus… maybe you can get Shane to maybe think about going back or something." He mumbles under his breath.

You roll your eyes. "Nate Grey - the epic manipulator." You sing softly under your breath. He looks at you, his brown eyes bored under his long lashes. "You do nice things that help you in the end. You're a manipulator." You point out.

He shrugs. "I guess that's why we were best friends." He yawns, as he turns onto a different street. You look around his car and bite your inner cheek.

"So, where's the 'stang?" you ask, after the awkwardness goes full force. He did get you a job; might as well try.

"At home." He answers, looking ahead. You nod and sigh, pulling down your skirt. He smirks before shaking his head. "I don't know why you dressed up." He mentions and you look at him questioningly, suddenly self conscious. "People working the mailroom usually like more comfortable things." He clicks his tongue. You frown.

"If you got me a job in the mailroom, stop the car right here." You say seriously, trying not to hiss.

He laughs. "I didn't get you a job at the mailroom. I was just kidding." He says before frowning. "I got you another position. See, I had this girl all lined up for this job and she was gonna be perfect, but then… she said no. " He sighs, rolling his eyes. "Whatever. The point is that the other girl said no, so I need a replacement. Now, I could have fought and interviewed a whole bunch of people or I could just pick a girl that I know needs a job and I know will get the work done. Plus, it might get Shane back in the scene which - yes is good for me. Wow. I am a manipulator." He smiles the smile that makes millions of girls scream. "Come on, best friend. We got an interview to do." He says with a raised eyebrow as he parks the car.

You didn't even realize you were here already.

You look at him confused. He said he didn't need an interview but now he says he does? "Wait. I need an interview?" you ask, as you get out of the car while pulling down your skirt.

He nods. "I need to know if you will be prepared." He says, still serious, as he leads you to the front. He smiles at the redhead behind the front desk before nodding her off. She smiles and waves her hand, and Nate gestures to the desk. "What is this?" he asks seriously. You raise an eyebrow.

"A reception desk?" you say, shrugging your shoulders.

"Pick up the phone and say… this." He says, reaching over to grab a post-it. He hands it over to you, leaning against the desk.

You roll your eyes but do as you are told. "Hi, this is Hollywood Records. Clara Roberts speaking. Can I help you?" you read and he pushes himself off the desk.

"Say Mitchie Torres next time. Well, that interview went well. Bye." he waves at you, before grabbing a folder from someone else who was just passing by. "Hey, Stacey. What's going on with Christina? Did she record what she needed to record last night? Or she slacking again?" he asks her, his voice lowering as he walks further away from you.

You blink and look back at the desk. Looks like you got your job.

--

"Wow. Brings back memories." You look up, a little frazzle. Shane immediately laughs and reaches for your hair. You blink as he grabs a post-it from your strands and hands it to you with a smirk. You grab it, groaning as you roll your eyes. He leans over the desk to kiss you lightly on the lips, but leans back when he hears a throat clearing.

"Hey, now. There's no PDA on the job, please." It's Nate. You roll your eyes, but not noticeably. He got you a job. Shane smirks and grabs your head, making you moan as he slips his tongue in your mouth. You gasp as he pulls you up so that you are also leaning across the desk. "Okay. Really?" Nate says, the frustration clear in his voice. Shane laughs but lets go off you.

You swallow breathlessly, your cheeks red. For a second, you catch Nate's eyes. He doesn't look amused. "With the amount of making out you and Molly did when you were together, I'm set for life, little brother." Shane sings, as he goes behind the desk. He is looking at the jungle of people, not looking at either one of you. He suddenly puts on a polite smile at someone before nodding at someone else. "Seriously, though, thanks for getting Mitchie the job." Shane says to Nate, turning back to him.

The curly haired kid just rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Just keep your tongue out of my employer's mouth before you infect her with the disease known as getting fired." He smiles sarcastically and Shane rolls his eyes. He lightly pushing his younger brother's shoulder and turns back to you.

"Are you ready to go, sweetheart?" his eyes soften when they meet yours and you suddenly remember when you said to him before. I love you. You flush red and close your eyes before just nodding. He laughs and hugs you close to his body as you grab your purse. He kisses the top of your forehead before reaching out his hand towards Nate. He is glaring at Shane and you, but takes his hand anyways. They shake hands before Shane guides you to the exit. You moan when the hot air hits your shoulders when you get outside.

"God, I'm so tired." You say with a sigh. He links your fingers together and kisses your forehead again.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll make you better." He mocks, but he's serious. You smile at him, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. You rub his back as he pushes you into his body.

The ride in the car is silent for the most part - but, even though you feel weird about the whole I love you thing, he doesn't let it be awkward. He holds your hand and kisses it periodically, while fiddling with the radio. You lean your head against his shoulder and sigh, letting your eyes close for a second. "Thanks for picking me up." You mutter, suddenly very tired.

"Mhmm." He says, putting his arm around your backrest. "How was your day?" he asks softly, his mouth against your hair. You smile at the vibrations he makes and hug him harder.

"Difficult. Nate is a pain in the ass. He didn't even really explain how to do anything and just kinda left me. It was scary as hell, but people were nice. It's weird being there. I'm pretty sure I saw someone famous. I felt lucky." You joked, kissing his shoulder. He laughed and rolled his eyes. "It's crazy though. Working there. There are so many people all over the place and it was just insane. I'm glad I'm going home with you." You finish breathily, blowing air softly behind his ear.

He smiles as he stops at a red light. He kisses you on the lips. "I'm glad you are coming home with me." He puts a secret smile on. "I have a surprise for you." He sings gently against you lips. You smile and look up expectantly, but he only laughs and moves the car again. The rest of the drive home is peaceful and when he gets out of the car, he goes swiftly to your side to open your door. He helps you out, before putting his arm around you loosely.

When you get inside the apartment, you immediately notice the dandelions in a vase on the table, along with the two unlit candles and the amazing smell in the air. Taking a deep breath, you inhale the scent completely as he kisses your neck again. "I might have made dinner." He says before closing the door behind you.

Wow.

--

"Do you trust me?" Shane says mockingly after you are done with dinner and head to the bedroom. You had figured you would change into more comfortable clothes and then watch a movie, but his words stop you. You furrow your eyebrows, a smile on your face as you nod. You reach behind you to take off your necklace and his fingers automatically find yours. He takes off the jewelry, his hand staying on your upper back. "I never apologized." He whispers before softly turning you around to face him. You raise an eyebrow as he plays with the hem of your shirt. "For practically yelling at you when we were in the cabins in November. You didn't deserve that; I was just…it's not the easiest thing in the world having you so near." His voice is getting husky as his fingers dip under your blouse.

You close your eyes, loving the feeling of his warm fingers on your stomach. "It's okay, Shane." You say lightly. "I understand. Your first time wasn't the best and…" you can feel the blush on your cheeks. "This isn't the easiest subject to talk about."

"How far have you gone?" he asks bluntly, his hands pushing your shirt up a little. You shiver and laugh embarrassedly.

"I don't know." You give a vague answer. How far have you gone? Well, once you may have touched a guy, but it was under heavy peer pressure of the idiot friends around you that dared you to do it. Then afterwards, you never truly lost yourself again to allow it to happen. In truth, you have never been one for sex, but Shane… Shane is the right guy. If you know one thing, is that Shane is the one.

At least to take your virginity.

"Do you trust me?" he whispers again, coming closer to you. His fingers tickle your sensitive skin as they itch farther up. You breathe in sharply, your eyes widening. "Do you?" he looks you straight in your eyes.

"Yes."

"Okay." His fingers itch higher. "You mentioned something earlier. Did you mean it?" he says, his eyes still looking almost through you. You feel like he can see your soul.

_I love you._ Did you mean it?

"Yes."

The smile on his face is small, but his eyes are the ones that truly show his happiness. "I'm not trying to pressure you." He says simply, changing subject. His lips are pressed seriously, his hands holding you in place. You gulp.

"I know." You breathe out, your own hand going on top of his bicep. His arm is huge under your small fingers and he steps in a little closer, but brings one hand from under your shirt to intertwine your hands. "Do you…" you don't know how to vocalize it and you turn a little red. You suddenly feel so hot and uncomfortable.

He leans in but doesn't kiss you. "I've never stopped." He confesses lightly, before brushing a strand of your hair back. Your eyes widen for a second before softening. You realize you are shaking only after he steadies your arm. "Baby, I didn't make dinner for you or picked those flowers or any of that because I wanted something to happen tonight. In my book, a lot has happened already. I don't want to move too fast with you. I want every moment to count."

He's charming; you'll give him that.

You close your eyes and he kisses your forehead. "Why don't we jus-" he starts, taking his hand off you and almost taking a step backwards. You reach up, grabbing the back of his head and leaning up to kiss him very gently on the lips. When you pull back, you search his eyes and see him doing the same.

"If we wait for every moment, we will never get them." You whisper, not letting your eyes waver.

"Okay. Just let me know when to stop if you want me to." He is whispering but you feel every word in your skin. You are still shaking, but you can only see him. Your eyes are glued to one another as he shrugs off his sweater jacket he never took off. You swallow and take a step towards the bed.

Wow. This is it. No turning back.

"Did you really never stop?" you ask, the words escaping your lips. You smile, a light joke on your lips. "Or are you a master at reverse psychology?" you say as he steps closer to you. He doesn't answer you right away but rather takes your hand. He lightly kisses your wrist and then your fingers and you cup his face. "I don't know if I ever did either." You tell him reflectively. "I never wanted James - not really. And every other guy…wasn't you. You never forget your first love, I guess." You whisper as caresses your fingers with his hand, kissing them gently. "I never forgot you." you mutter, leaning in one final time to kiss him.

This time he doesn't let you pull away, but there is no pressure. There is no force or roughness, or even urgency. His arm goes to your back, securely bringing you to his chest. His kiss his soft and caring and his hold is the same. When he lets you go, he lets a sigh escape from his lips. "It's why I didn't want to see your face when you first came to town. It was hard." He admits with a shrug. You can feel your heart beating quickly and all your senses are heightened to the point where you feel dizzy. He lets out another sigh. "I'm going to kiss you again. This time I won't stop unless you tell me to." He warns - is warns the right word?

Your heart is going so fast.

Your head is empty of any thoughts and it feels like someone has sucked the air out of the room. He very lightly places his hand over your heart, your breast pushing up against his fingers every time you inhale. He steps in, pushing you backwards onto the bed. You close your eyes when you feel the familiar sheets hit your body as he works your body so that your head hits the pillow. Suddenly, a million thoughts rush to your head and every doubt comes.

This is going to change everything.

This may hurt.

This puts you in a vulnerable state.

If things go bad, where would you sleep?

What if you suck at sex?

What if - "Mitchie. I love you." his voice pierces through all your thoughts just as he lowers himself next to your body. He tilts your head up to reach his lips and you melt in his arms. You feel cold but hot at the same time as he rubs your arm up and down. Every nerve in your body is on fire. He kisses you long and gently, as his hand unbuttons your blouse. The second he is finishes, he dips his head to your neck, kissing every inch of skin before pushing the two folds of the blouse away. His fingers trace the swell of your breast before trailing down to your bellybutton. "You have perfect skin." He mentions as he lowers his head to kiss your stomach.

You moan softly, shivering when his tongue licks your skin. He travels up to your breasts, his teeth scraping against the metal of your bra. You let out a breath that you were holding as he kisses the swelling, his lips keeping in pace with the rise and fall of your chest. His teeth nip at the skin there before going back up to kiss your neck. You suck in your breath harshly when he bites your neck and starts to suck. His hand goes back to your breasts, his fingers dipping underneath your bra. You gasp as his cold fingers bump against your nipple before encircling it, squeezing it with slight pressure. "Shane." You let out of your lips.

He goes back to your lips, kissing you and kissing you. His hands are slow everywhere else, but they are so obviously there. He feels amazing against you, but at the same time, your heart is beating too fast. You are too nervous to really enjoy anything, and more than that, you are scared. You are honestly scared. Every other time you have been in this situation with him, there has been alcohol involved.

Not this time.

This is pure and talked about and totally your choices. "You're shaking." Shane comments against you skin, his tongue drawing on your cheek. He kisses you once more before changing his pace. He pushes his body off the bed and goes on top of you slowly. It's weird - the weight of a man on top of you. It takes your breath away - literally as his chest settles on top of yours. He bites your lip. "Do you want to be in control?" he asks, pulling away enough to look you in the eyes.

You suck in your breath, furrowing your eyebrows. You _are_ curious. You are so very curious. "Okay." You whisper and he nods. He gets off of you and you push you're your body up. With a deep breath of confidence, you take off your shirt completely, throwing it haphazardly on the floor. Then you look at him. He gives you a small smile, brushing your hair out of the way.

"I love you." he repeats.

**XXX**

**Guys, I am so sorry this is so late. This week with school and friends and V-day and parties have kicked ass. I'm so sorry I could not get this out sooner. I haven't been sleeping well and blah.**

**But anyways! I hope you liked it. I'm loving Shane right now haha. But Nate? What's his deal? Can people guess why he is acting the way he is? Do you personally agree with Shane that you should take life slowly or you'll miss the moments that count or with Mitchie who thinks you should go through things because if you don't you'll miss all the moments? Do you think they will/did have sex? Yes or no.**

**Tell me in a review. Thank you so much for your support and I'm sorry.**

**For this chapter, I honestly do not know when I will publish it. I will work this weekend, u have that promise. Just know I worked hard on it haha. I know I promised M, and I had stuff written, but…**

**Sandy**

**PS - there was one review from a girl named Holly who I am so dedicating this chapter to. Thank you. seriously. And to everyone else as well. Thank you. **

**ETA - I will post at 800 reviews!  
**


	21. Chapter 21

"**It's a secret no one tells; One day it's heaven, one day it's hell. It's no fairy tale." Even Angels Fall - Jessica Riddle**

**AN: I really do not want to change the rating of the story because then it will not be filed in the front page thing. So just know…read with discretion. **

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 21

You breathe out lightly as his hands trail down your front, encouraging you to continue. You touch his chest with your fingertips, his skin hard under your touch. His own hands go to your thighs. "Let me get those dress pants off you baby. I know they can't be comfortable." He whispers, his fingers unbuckling as he speaks. You nod, your hair falling in front of your face as you still trace his muscles and bulges. It's weird. It's so weird.

His fingertips are skilled as he maneuvers your body so he can slip the pants off you. You blush at the small cotton underwear you are wearing but he doesn't comment on it. He grabs you leg, swinging it so that you are over him again. You gasp as you press your hand on his chest to steady yourself. He looks you in your eyes. "Are you okay?" he asks sincerely. You nod and hesitantly reach behind you. Unhooking your bra, you let the material fall away. His eyes go down to your breasts as they now swing freely and he brings his hands up your sides. You shiver again. You lean down, running your hands through his hair a bit roughly before connecting your lips.

He arches up, meeting you halfway. Your naked chests press together as your tongues massage one another. It's different. It's very different.

And it's scary - so scary. Are you even sure you should be doing this? And what's with the feeling of wanting to throw up?

"Baby, you're still shaking." Shane says against your lips. He sighs as his hands go to your hips. "If you aren't ready, we should stop." He says firmly. You swallow harshly before shaking your head slightly. You want this. You do want this. Right?

Yes.

You want this.

You climb off him again, opting to lay right beside him, somewhat tucked into his body. He turns towards you as you grab his hand. He looks at you questioningly and your eyes connect.

Your heart is beating so fast, so loud, so confused.

You can feel a slight sweat pass through your body as you bring your intertwined hands down pass your bellybutton. You can feel your stomach go crazy with butterflies and you feel like you are going to hurl. His eyes bore into yours as his breath catches in his throat. You start breathing heavier when your fingers and his slip under your underwear. A shiver goes through your body.

Fuck. This is scary.

His fingertips brush against the top of your center and you jump, gasping. Your eyes widen as he sucks in his breath again. Taking all the confidence you can muster - which isn't much and really you still feel like you are going to throw up - you push his hand further down and his fingers find more of your most intimate area. He presses your forehead together and his fingers slip from yours. He knows what he is doing of course; he doesn't need your instruction. He very lightly massages you, barely even touching you. You can feel your nipples rub against his hot skin every time he moves a little. When his fingers find your clitoris, you bite your lip harshly. He fingers are gentle as he rubs the nub in circles, careful not to go too rough too soon.

"Mitchie." He mumbles and you reach up to kiss his lips. He moans softly against you, as his fingers slip past your clitoris. You freeze, your lips parting against his mouth when he lightly slips his fingertip inside of you. "Do you want me to stop?" he asks, breathing hard. Yes. No. Maybe. You don't open your mouth, afraid of the fluttering in your stomach. You shake your head, tilting your hips towards him to get more of his finger inside of you. He gasps and you gasp and you can see a million things behind your eyes but nothing at all. It's insane and so foreign but so good and at the same time scary as fuck. He moves his finger inside you, moving with your hips. "That's my girl." He mutters as you push harder towards him. "Mitchie." He whispers again, kissing your lips.

You part your lips, biting at his lower one as he slips another finger inside of you. He is slow. He doesn't go rough with you, but he knows enough about sex to know how to get you off. It's an insane feeling. It's _the_ insane feeling. Looking at it closely, you have never felt the way that you are you feeling now. You can literally feel every single one of your pores and every single nerve in your body and every single muscle working with him. You squeeze his arm tightly as your muscles contract against his fingers and he sighs. "Shane." You whimper. This is crazy. What are you doing? God, what are you doing?

"That's my girl." He repeats, a smile on his lips as he kisses your forehead. You open your mouth against his shoulder, emitting a silent scream as you rock your body against his fingers. You moan, tucking yourself into his body and the bed as the feeling cultivates in your entire body. "Are you okay?" he asks, as he slips his fingers from your underwear.

No. Yes? "Wow." You choke out, not ready to talk yet while ignoring the question. Your eyes widen as you meet his. Do you have to _do_ him now? You don't know how to do that. Holy shit. The fear is obvious on your face and he kisses you again. What are you doing? Your thoughts are going a million miles an hour but you can barely control your body. Do you want to do this? "Shane." You moan as he climbs on top of you better. It's so weird - the weight of a man on top of you and honestly, it just adds to the feeling of wanting to throw up.

"Relax." He whispers against your lips. You breathe out shakily and don't answer him. You kiss him harder before letting go of him so he can slip off his shirt. You swallow, averting your eyes from his body but he doesn't notice. Your head is still so dizzy and you feel a little ashamed of being so naked. And Jesus, you guys have only been dating for a couple months.

But then he is kissing you again, and you forget your thoughts - if only for a moment.

--

He is gentle with you; that much is for certain. He knows that you don't need a rough time, but that doesn't mean it is painless and it doesn't mean it is comfortable. It is awkward - seeing him naked, letting him see you naked. You would like to think that it was an expression of love - sex - but really, it just hurt and it was messy. And embarrassing. Very embarrassing. "Mitchie, talk to me." He pokes your arm, a frown on his face. His soft brown eyes are concerned as he wraps his arm around your naked waist, pulling you close to him. You close your eyes, leaning into his warmth but at the same time knowing that the reason he is so warm is the same reason why his cheeks are still rosy. His mouth is on your ear, biting and licking. "Please." He mutters, his voice still hoarse.

"You were amazing." You say, your heart fast again. You don't know if you are lying or not, but Shane's face illustrates he thinks you are. "You were! And thank you because…I don't know. You were amazing. I love you, Shane." You tell him quickly before leaning up to kiss him deeply. He tightens his hold on you, pushing you so that you are on your back again. Internally, you have a mini-freak out again.

The point was to stay a virgin until marriage.

But moment can slip away if you wait for them to happen.

It's too conflicting. Your thoughts are too confusing. Your body is too confusing. You don't even realize it but you are responding to all of Shane's ministrations right now, moaning at the right times and arching into him. Physically, you are ready - which has just been proven, but mentally, were you ready? No. Yes? Maybe.

You freeze as you feel him kiss your forehead. "Baby, calm down. It's over. The horrible first time is over. Just let it go. It's me. I'll protect you." he whispers to you, as he pulls your leg aside. You close your eyes, letting your breath out softly. He pulls back. "Okay. You're obviously not okay." Shane frowns, his eyes hurt.

"I'm fine." You whisper, but you don't sound like yourself. Your breath is so shaky and you're still scared. Something changes the moment you meet his eyes. You feel so young and so immature. He is so well put together, and no matter what job you take or how many classes you take, you aren't stable. You are terrified.

He comes close to you again, connecting your forehead. He raises his fingers to your cheek and you close your eyes, subconsciously leaning into him. "You're crying. You aren't fine." He whispers, his voice breaking. "Come on baby. Talk to me." He nudges your nose with his own. You breathe out, a little bit of the weight of your shoulders leaving.

"I don't know, Shane. I honestly do not know." You sit up, pulling your knees to your naked chest. You shiver from the coldness and he puts his arm around your back, tracing circles soothingly. "Maybe it was just because it was the first time…it was scary. I'm still…" you choke out and he kisses your shoulder.

"I'm not a stranger, Mitchie. I love you. I have never stopped loving you." he wraps his arms more around you and you lean into his chest. "I wasn't that bad, was I? To scar you from having sex ever again?" he says, poking your side again. You actually let a smile out, and for a second, you think you are being an idiot. He loves you and you love him. You wanted him for so long and you have been stressing how badly you have wanted him for at least a month. He is a great guy and he deserved that too. You wanted him to take that and he did. All that you wanted happened.

"Baby, you were amazing. I wasn't lying." You mutter against his skin, your cheeks a little pink. You're an idiot.

Yes. You are…

But not because you are having doubts now, but because you didn't have them before. You were so tough, so independent, and so ready to live your life. Isn't that why you left New Jersey? To get away and be independent and amazing? Yes. But then California sucked, and why did you stay? For a guy - an amazing guy, but a guy nonetheless. This was supposed to the trip that defines you as an adult.

But you aren't an adult.

You might be _old_ - if twenty is old - but were you ready for sex? You were supposed to wait. "Then, what's wrong?" Shane says, rubbing your back. Suddenly, he sighs. "You were working with me. You didn't let on…Mitchie, I told you I would stop if you weren't ready…." His eyes soften as he brushes a lock of your hair back. "You weren't ready for this." He whispers softly.

You swallow harshly. "No. I was. I am. Just… it's new, okay? Give me a couple minutes." You say with a sigh. "I'll get used to it; I'm just a dumbass." You fake a smile at him. His brown eyes are still so concerned.

And suddenly, you notice all the same things. The fact that he is still rubbing your back to calm you down. The fact that he has covered your body with his sheet. The fact he never made you do anything to him when you actually had sex. The fact that he was gentle and he asked you if you were ready all the time. The fact that he does so fucking much for you.

The fact you do nothing for him and the stuff that you do isn't enough. He deserves so much more.

So much. And you aren't sure you can give him that yet.

--

You leave him a note the next morning, watching him for a second as he continues sleeping. He was great last night with you - he held you and let you just breathe. It just made you feel even guiltier. God, when Nate first came and Shane needed support - did you support him like he has supported you so many times?

No.

You are such a horrible person. A tear falls from your face and hits the note. You quickly wipe your face, drawing a heart where the tear landed before swallowing and leaving the apartment. If it was up to you, you would want to stay there just to make sure that he knows you love him. Does he know you love him? Have you ever actually showed him you loved him?

You can feel the pain inside you well up so much. You are practically sobbing as you reach the elevator. The guilt is killing you and your legs have slight bruises and you cannot believe you had sex last night. It's too unreal. "What the hell am I doing?" you blurt out, wiping your face roughly as the elevator opens. He deserves so much more than you. You have been so horrible to him. Even just last night - you could have just told him to wait or you could have made him understand that it was you not him so much better.

He does so much for you.

You are breaking down. You know this and the worst part is you have no idea how to stop it. You literally slide down to the floor inside the elevator, your shoulders shaking wildly as you gasp for air roughly. "Crap. Fuck!" you scream, pulling at your hair. You hear the doors open and you heartbreakingly open your eyes. Someone stares at you - the mess laying on the floor with tears and makeup streaming down her face.

--

"Mitchie, what is wrong with you?" you look up surprised. Mandy raises an eyebrow. "In the last ten minutes since you got here, you have dropped your cup, spilt water on yourself, tripped on the rug and have not said more than two words. I thought you wanted to study for Ethics. You haven't even got your book." She says, sighing and leaning back in the couch. "Tell me what's wrong already."

You gulp softly and shrug, wringing at your still wet shirt. For a while, you stay quiet and she just stares at you. She sighs and rubs your shoulder. Finally, you look up and wipe your teary eyes. "Me and Shane slept together." You blurt out. Mandy's reaction is immediate. Her eyes widen and her mouth falls in a soft gasp. Her eyes stay on you until she looks down to her notebook again.

"You slept with him?" her voice sounds incredulous when she finally speaks. "You slept with Shane? Whoa. Are you insane? Did you use protection?" she spurts out questions quickly, looking at you again.

You part your lips. "Yeah, he put on a condom." You mutter quietly under your breath.

Mandy throws her hands up as if that was the only thing you actually did right. "You're like married to him, but you have known for like nothing." You open your mouth, feeling tears come up to your eyes but she cuts you off. "No! I don't care if you used to know him when you were five. You don't know him now. You're going too fast! Don't you get that? He isn't the boy you used to know from camp." She scolds you, her voice getting a little emotional.

You frown and furrow your eyebrows. "I do love him." You whisper. You do love him - even if you don't know how to show it.

She scoffs, throwing her hands up again. "You don't even really know him. You know the image of him when he was a huge star, but he isn't that man anymore. What's his favorite movie? His favorite song? Color? What does he do when he's upset? When's the last time he wrote a song? Is he a cat person or a dog person?" she asks you pointedly. You stay quiet, looking down with tears in your eyes. "Yes, you know what's he is like naked, but do you know who he is underneath? I don't mean to lecture you, but Jesus, grow up, Mitchie. You can't just give stuff away like that. Does he even deserve it?" She says.

You finally interrupt, scoffing at her. "Yes, I suck, but don't say that! He does and did deserve it. I do love him. And I know, okay? I know. He probably knows all these things about me, but I don't know squat about him. I get it! Okay. I get it." you are crying by the end of it. Your head is killing you so much and you are just so tired of crying today.

She doesn't say anything. She just sighs before rubbing your arm. You just stare at her notebook with her notes and she stares at her textbook. For a long time nothing is said. Your heart is breaking in your chest. You do love him. You do. But why do you suck do much? You should know every answer about him. You should know every detail about Shane - because you are ninety-nine percent certain he knows everything about you.

"Can I use your laptop for a second?" your voice breaks as you ask her, still not looking up. Mandy turns her computer towards you, not glancing at you either. You take a deep breath before going to your school's website. You need a distraction so you go your emails, noticing three emails from your teachers. Instead of opening them, you go to your mid-term grades, expecting at least that to go well.

But this only makes you cry harder.

Mandy looks at you with an eyebrow raised. "What now?" she asks with a sigh. You don't answer her - you just push the laptop away from you. Curling up into a ball, you take a deep ragged breath and belittle yourself some further. "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, Mitchie." She swears under her breath. You shut your eyes.

"I hate my life so fucking much right now." You groan, pulling your hair.

She inhales softly before coming over to you and hugging you. "Okay. So this is bad, but not changeable. We'll fix it. I'll help and if you stop boning Shane for five seconds, he'll help too. It will be okay." She consoles you, softly patting down your hair. You snort and practically scream, throwing your head backwards against the couch cushion. She frowns.

"I don't fail." You finally spit out. "I get good grades and I do all the work and I don't sleep with guys. I hardly drink and I talk to my mom everyday and I go to bed at a reasonable time. I do not fail." You repeat, gritting your teeth. Mandy bites her lip before gesturing at the computer screen. Your eyes momentarily catch your grades again and your heart drops.

You only passed one test - and it was with a C.

--

You go to work, even though you look like a fucking mess and you can barely talk without crying. Your turned-off phone weighs a ton in your pocket and you stop yourself from calling Shane fifteen million times. You don't know what to say to him, but you want it to be the right thing. God, how do you prove your love to a man? Buy him flowers? Chocolates? Give him more sex?

"Mitchie, can I talk to you for a second?" You look up and meet the bright blue eyes of your new boss. Her name is Cindy Goldman and she doesn't like you very much. Apparently her niece was in the running for your position, but Nate Grey overrode her. You got the job and subsequently an angry, bitter boss. "Look down for a second to that plastic thing in the corner." You lower your eyebrows, feeling tears already come up to your eyes. You really don't need another thing today. You do as she says and she continues. "That is called a phone. As a secretary, it is your job to pick up the phone and take down notes. Are you able to do that or are you that incompetent?"

You don't answer her hopefully hypothetical question and just continue staring at the phone. "For the love of God, you aren't being paid to just look pretty and sit on a desk. You are paid to work, so you better start working or you will get cut. I told Mr. Grey I would give you a chance, but you are testing my patience. I don't need failures on my team."

Failures.

You nod when she just stands there, glaring intensely. "I don't care if you and Nate have known each other since you were in diapers. You are on my team and I make the rules, and from now on, I want ten million percent from you or it's over. This job will no longer be yours. Do you understand me?" You nod again. "I want every call to get answered and I want the appointment with Mr. Fields set up by tomorrow morning." She huffs slightly and finally turns on her heel. Blinking away a couple of tears, you finally look up.

Standing against the back wall is Nate. Your teary eyes widen as you look at his sad face. He shakes his head just as little pixie sized girl comes fluttering in from the office behind him, linking arms with him. She kisses his cheek playfully, and he momentarily forgets about you to smile at her before brushing a lock of silky hair behind her ear. A light blush goes on her face before she giggles and runs towards the door, dragging him along. Before he leaves, he flashes you one more look - his face serious again. You turn away however and focus on your computer screen, counting down the minutes before you have to leave.

When it's time for you to punch out, you do so with a sigh. Gulping back fear and angst, you turn on your phone for the first time all day. Surprisingly, you only have on missed message, instead of the million phone calls and texts you were dreading from an angry Shane. Shakily you punch in your voicemail's password and bring the phone to your ear.

"I could fill this message with a million words about how much I care about you or with slurs about how angry I am that you left this morning. I can bitch about the fact that you told me you were ready and then freaked on me because you weren't. I can gush about how great last night was or awkwardly tell you how bad it ended up being. But I won't do any of those. I'm not angry or whatever. I'm hurt and kinda sad, but I know last night was a crazy big deal for you. Actually, thinking about it now, I didn't even notice how big of a deal it was. And I'm sorry because I know today will be a little hard, but just know that it's okay. I love you, Mitchie Torres, even if our past is crazed and twisted. I never stopped loving you and that's all I wanted to say. I love you and it will be okay. We'll talk when you get home tonight."

Shane's voice is so sweet and with no ounce of anger.

The tears come even quicker to your eyes now that you are out in the street and not in your job. You shakily call for a taxi and after giving the address to Shane's, you just sit in the backseat and cry over what a bad fucking day you had. One a scale of one to ten on how epically bad today has been, it's about a million. You just want to go home and apologize and tell him you love him a million times and make sure that you get to know every aspect of him. You hate yourself for not realizing how little you actually know of him earlier.

When you get to the apartment, you pay him quickly before practically running inside. Your makeup trails down your face unflatteringly but you don't care. "Shane." You croak out, your voice breaking as you enter the apartment. You look at the daisies that are still on the table, wiping your eyes as you slip off your high heels. "Shane." You say louder. You walk into the bedroom, looking around until you see him sitting at the end of the bed. Your eyes widen as you notice he is shaking heavily and his fist is clenched. It takes you another second to notice the blood on his knuckles and the fact his shirt is ripped. "Baby?" you whisper.

He looks up and you part your mouth in a small gasp. His eyes are bright red and there is dried blood under his nose. His hair is seriously messed up and his breathing is erratic. He scoffs when he sees you and he pushes himself off the bed and starts going towards the bathroom. Wiping your eyes forcibly, you follow him but don't say a word as he spits blood into the bathroom sink. You suck in your breath sharply before putting your hands on his back softly.

He jerks away before sending you a slight glare. "What the hell happened?" you ask, a little emotionally. You immediately reach into his medicine cabinet, grabbing rubbing alcohol and bandages. He pushes you away and goes back to the bedroom. "Shane!" you scream after him, breathing out roughly. Your eyes fill with worry as he winces at the pain in his arm.

"Nothing happened, Mitchie. I just wasn't liking myself today." He answers sarcastically, as he closes his eyes and runs his hands through his messy hair harshly. You scoff at him, trying to touch him again.

Once more, he jerks from you. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're totally fucked up and now you're being a douche. So just talk to me and tell me what happened." You scold him, while trying to twist the cap off the alcohol bottle.

He laughs mirthless. "Oh please - because now you care. It isn't like I haven't been waiting for a call or even a fucking lousy text message to know that you're alive and okay. It isn't like I haven't felt horrible all day and almost broke down because of you. It isn't like I didn't fucking put my life on the line to defend you." he yells, wiping blood from his lower lip angrily.

You feel tears go to your eyes again. "Shane…what happened, honey?" For the third time you go to reach for his arm, but the look he gives you makes you freeze. Tears gather in his own eyes as he stares at you, and you feel a ping in your heart. All the air gets sucked out of you as a couple silent seconds pass by. You can sense what is coming next. You can tell by his eyes and by the way he is shaking that tonight is going to be a bad one.

**XXX**

**Hey! So originally I was gonna do a long, year long story, but… it's coming to an end guys. Seriously, there are about two, maybe three chapters left - I haven't decided how many. But it's ending :C Thank you so much for all the support and everything; it's just all the story lines are in fact closing up - unintentionally, but they are.**

**But! I am in the process of writing another ff….which I wanted to ask: do I do another smitchie or I would do a Joe/Oc and went over to JBFA, would you follow and review/read there? Please answer.**

**I love you guys.**

**Oh - thoughts about the chapter - who do you think Shane got in a fight with? Why is he so mad when earlier in the voicemail (which I will admit was sent when he woke up at like 9am) he was so calm and understanding? Do you think Mitchie and Shane are in for a long night of fighting? Do you think maybe they need to fight? Is Mitchie's realization that Shane loves her more in a way correct?**

**Thanks,**

**Sandy**

**PS -Dedicated to Hannah. Thank you.**

**PPS- The next chapter will be posted on Friday now. Something came up, and I did not want to give you guys bullshit. You deserved better. Hope you aren't too mad.  
**


	22. Chapter 22

**"Then you come on crashing in like the realest thing. Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring." Half of My Heart - John Mayer Ft Taylor Swift**

The Undeveloped Story

Chapter 22

"Is this really gonna happen? I'm sorry about this morning, Shane." You voice is steady but you are shaking. He looks up, his own eyes teary and raw. "But what the hell happened? You want me to take you to the hospital? Or…" you trail off as he grabs a towel from the chair besides his bed. He angrily wipes at his face before standing up again.

"Oh! Now you care." He mutters, rolling his eyes. You scoff at him, hurt. "Jesus, Mitchie. I wanted you to call me all day or even fucking text me. Last night was big but did you even care about it?" he throws out, but retreats when he sees your face. He looks away, biting his lip. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He whispers.

You scoff, crossing your arms. "Last night wasn't a big deal for me? I gave you my virginity! Of course it was a fucking big deal to me. Are you insane? I'm sorry! Okay, I'm so fucking sorry I didn't have my phone on and that I was too busy. I had the shittiest day I have ever had in such a long time. I'm failing and work's a bitch and last night was both wonderful and horrible at the same time, and everyone's on my fucking back. I'm apparently the most selfish bitch ever and you don't deserve me. I'm scum. Why are you even with me?" You finish, slamming your hand onto the dresser.

Shane lowers his eyebrows, wincing when a shot of pain travels through his face. He wipes at the blood again. "You are selfish. And you are bitchy sometimes. You think you're some princess and that work just gets done." He shoots at you, before leaning against the wall. Your mouth parts open and God, you are convinced you have never felt as much pain as he just inflicted. "But you're my princess. You're my girl and I don't care. If that's the point of our story, if that's what we come down to, then I guess the damn moral of this whole thing is that I don't care that you are the way you are because I love you anyways. That's why I'm with you - because I actually do love you." he spits out, the intensity in his eyes burning a hole through you.

For a second, you do not know whether to be insulted or loved or what; all you know is that the impulse to run away is strong. But you make yourself stay. "Shane…" you choke out, tears spilling out of your eyes. He looks away and shakes his head. The pain is obvious in his face, and you move forward to him. He opens his mouth - presumably to either argue or maybe even tell you he loves you again - but you just shake your head. "Come on." You order lightly, grabbing some of his shirt and pulling him to the bathroom. He sighs and follows you albeit in pain. He breathes out shakily as he leans against the wall. "Who did this to you?" you ask again, your voice light.

He frowns and doesn't answer.

Your shoulders lower in disappointment but you don't let it stop you. Going towards him, you swallow your pride and help him take off his shirt. He looks at you with confused eyes as your fingers softly trail on the purple bruises on his tan skin. You move closer to him and press your lips gently on the biggest black-and-blue, making him hiss under his breath. You bring your hands down to his jeans and unbuckle them quickly, pulling them down as well as his boxers. His eyes are now trained on your face and he looks ready to stop you. Swallowing down your fear, you go to the bath and turn it on. Grabbing a small towel, you set it aside next to the tub, before turning back to Shane and reaching for his hand.

He steps forward, and surprisingly, he lets the anger and the confusion and the intensity fade away. He just lets it all go and rather than argue with you, steps into the tub. Again, he hisses in pain as the warm water finds his tender skin. You wait until the water fills the tub midway, until turning the faucet off and turning towards Shane. Dipping the small towel into the water, you move in closer to dab Shane's face, taking away the blood around his nose.

--

When you are done washing him, you set the now pinkish towel into the sink and sit against the tub, facing away from Shane. You jump slightly when he reaches over and unplugs the stopper and lets the water go down. Expecting him to get out, you start standing up but he shakes his head. He puts the stopper back on as soon as the water went down and turns on the faucet again. "Come here?" he asks, reaching for your hand. He brings your fingers to his lips and softly kisses them. "Just let it all go. I know it's scary and it's crazy and we put so much pressure on this, but… don't let it kill you. We put more emphasis on things that don't deserve it. I love you, and I'm sure you love me." He tells you.

You press your lips together, feeling tears hit your eyes as you look at him. His off-colored skin and his puffy face makes you shiver. You hate this. You hate that someone did this to him and that he is hurt. Nodding, you bite your lip before turning off the light. Even in the dark, you know he rolled his eyes. Quickly, you undress before just staring at the tub. He reaches for your hand again, the water swishing as he makes room. Climbing over him, you settle down next to his body with nervousness and butterflies. "Calm down. Just…be happy. Not everything has be life and death." He whispers, intertwining your fingers as you get used to the water's temperature.

You close your eyes, letting the warm water relax your tense muscles. He quivers besides you and his head falls on your shoulder in exhaustion. You play with his hair gently as he settles himself on your breast. He wants you to let it go. He wants you to just let everything go. Is that possible? Your heart starts racing as your eyes get use to the light. His arms, although it pains him, slips behind you to hug you closer. "You mean the world to me." You whisper and for once, if any other time you have ever doubted it, you know this time you mean it. "I don't even realize it sometimes, but… I can't go to other coffee shops anymore without thinking of you. I can't listen to Aberlin without thinking of that song you sang me. I can't go to that club we went to without immediately blushing at how we were dancing." You say, drawing patterns on his skin.

He sighs. "I love you, Mitch."

You smile sadly. "What's my favorite color?" you whisper.

"Red. Why?"

"Favorite movie?"

He pauses this time before answering you. "Almost Famous. Why?" he asks again, raising an eyebrow. You can tell he is still a little testy, although he calm downed quite a bit. You don't want to test his emotions, but it seems evitable. You lean against him, feeling tears at your eyes. You can hardly clear your throat as tears come rushing to your eyes.

"Shane, we need to talk."

--

The next day is harder than you ever thought possible, and part of you just wants to run into your mother's arms and forget all about California. The other part of you just wants to curl up in Shane's arms. Unfortunately, you made it so you could do neither. You wrap your arms around your body and go towards his apartment. You spent the night at Mandy's and you really did not sleep at all. Every thought was about Shane.

Taking a deep brave breath, you make it to his door; however, you stop when you notice a white, bulging envelope propped up against it. You grab the envelope and your eyebrows shoot up when you see your name scribbled on it. For a second, you think that Shane took it all back. All those things he said last night about loving you and not wanting to let you go and begging you to just let it go was forgotten. Your heart drops until you convince yourself that Shane does not have loopy handwriting and he wouldn't just leave you a note as a dismissal. Plus, you still need to get your stuff. Taking a deep breath, you open the envelope and pull out…

Money.

Lots and lots of money. Maybe a thousand dollars. "What?" you blurt out before noticing there is a note along with it. Unfolding it, you read it quickly.

_**"**Mitchie,_

_I'm sorry, I guess. I acted out of jealousy and I wasn't really thinking. This is my sorry. Here's seven hundred dollars to help you get a new apartment or whatever. The rest of the money is Shane's. Tell him I never meant to steal from him and I'm also sorry. I did love him, but he's right. We're better off apart. _

_J_

Gulping, you shake your head before knocking on Shane's door. He appears a minute later, his eyes red and glaring. "Hey, back so soon?" he says drily.

You bite your lip before putting your hand on your hips. "Stop." You tell him sternly. "I know all we did was yell yesterday, but honestly… I think it's for the best so will you listen to me!" you yell at him as he rolls his eyes and goes to close the door. You slam your hand against it and glare at him. "Look, I need to get my life together. I realized that yesterday. I'm not the failure. I'm not the princess. I'm not the lazy worker. I became it, and that needs to change." You say firmly, a new life plan in motion.

He scoffs, crossing his arms. "And breaking up with me proved what?" he snaps back.

You sigh. "I didn't break up with you! I moved out and I'm here for my stuff." You cut him off when he opens his mouth to argue. Today, he is angry. Last night, he was so upset and it was just yelling and screaming and begging for you to stay. "We've been dating for a nano-second and it's not fair. Okay? It's not fair that you know things -"

"Oh my, God! I know your fucking favorite movie! Crucify me!" he throws his hand up.

"But I don't know yours!" you scream back, your voice breaking. "And that kills me. I can't be sleeping and living and playing house with a guy that I don't know well enough. I'm not saying that's your fault. It's mine and I'm trying to fix it. So will you please just let me in and hear my solution because contraire to popular belief, I don't want to lose you." your voice is beyond hoarse when you finish and you have to wipe your eyes.

He huffs but lets you in. "Let me hear this amazing plan of yours, Mitchie, because right now I'm at a loss of words. I thought you could just let it go and we can just start over from that point-" he starts, as he goes inside but you cut him off.

"Exactly! We're starting over. I'm starting over. I don't like who I am right now. That has nothing to do with you. I do love you, but I need to find myself. Maybe, by moving out and setting up somewhere else, I'll learn responsibility and I'll mistakes and I'll fail but it would be my fault and no one is babying me. I don't fail, but it's what I'm doing right now. God, Shane! I have dreamed of coming to California since I was nine, but what have I done since I got here? Nothing! I have failed classes and I have messed your life and I have done this and that - but none, except you, have been important. So please, let me find myself so that I can be everything to you." You choke out, basically repeating what you said last night.

"You already are everything to me already!" he argues back. You sigh and close your eyes. Suddenly, he grabs you. Letting a small gasp out, you slam into his chest as he connects your lips together. He pushes you up against the wall, roughly letting you have it while giving his all. His fingers grip at your hip and he bites your lip. "You are everything, Mitchie." He growls against you. You moan and start to cry as he pushes you harder against the wall. "You are so fucking important to me and you want to throw that all away because you don't know my favorite movie? Fuck that. I'm not letting you go and that's final." His eyes are intense again. You open your mouth but he growls again. "No, dammit!" he slams his hand against the wall behind you. "There are things in life you fight for and you are one of them! And I don't even understand why a fucking movie matters so much!" He throws his hands up.

"It's not about the movie, Shane." You say in a small voice. "It's about the fact that I need to get to know you, okay? I'm not breaking up with you, for the love of God. All I'm doing is trying to start over. Maybe we can do movie nights and date nights and just…get to know one another. I feel like you're still a stranger. I want to get to know you, so can we please just do that?" you say in the same voice.

He rolls his eyes again and runs his fingers through his hair. "So, meeting up every Friday is gonna help how? Because we could just do that now without you moving out." He snaps, his breath heavy with anger.

You sigh, putting a calming hand on his chest. "It will mean something to me. We can ask stupid questions and learn about each other. If you love me so much, then don't you want to do that? Learn about me? Find out what has changed since I was sixteen? I want to. I want to know everything about you, but I also want to be focused on other things - my studies and my work. I'm trying to find a healthy balance between everything, but that doesn't mean I don't love you." you finish lightly, trying to get him to calm down. He doesn't answer, so you go on your tippy-toes and kiss him gently. "I'm not breaking up with you." you reaffirm.

He finally breathes out and lets his shoulders drop. "I don't want to lose you." he admits, shuffling a little.

"You're not gonna lose me, Shane Grey. I just need space. Look, I know my reasoning is confusing but… I believe that if maybe we grow up a little or at least I grow up a little, then we can love fully. I don't think we have to give up on love. Just give me a chance to show you that love is more than playing house and living together. It's the little things. Please." You say, putting a hand to his cheek.

He sighs and swallows down his pride. "But I'll see you?" he questions, his voice tense.

"All the time!" you say, forcing a smile until it becomes natural. "So much you'll get sick of me. I'll just bunk with Mandy, but I'll be yours forever. We just need to get to know each other. Take a step back. It will be okay if we work together." You say, intertwining your fingers. He sighs and closes his eyes before leaning his forehead against yours.

"Fine. Then why don't we start right now? My favorite movie is James Bond…" he says, running a hand through his hair. You smile as he takes a step back.

**XXX**

**So so sorry that I couldn't post earlier!!! My computer broke and ahh, I had to do this was scratch and blah. But whoa! It's over! don't worry! There will be an epilogue and that one will be so much longer than this one, trust me! This chapter just had to end like this. I know it isn't the happiest ending and that they did kinda go backwards but life goes backwards sometimes. Don't worry - they will have their happy ending! That will be in the next chapter. **

**Btw, I'm really happy with the new idea I have and I hope you will like it.**

**Here's the summary: **

_**She's the kind of girl that deserves pearl necklaces and diamond earrings. Unfortunately, all she gets is heartbreak. He's the kind of guy that lives in the now and travels in the fast lane. Unfortunately, it's all fading away. Smitchie.**_

**I hope you will like it. Next and final chapter at 885 reviews. If you get to 890, I'll post sooner... and that time it's true. I'm on Spring Break so writing!!!!!  
**

**Sandy.**

**PS- Please don't be too mad at me for the short chapter, kinda break up and late posting. **

**They will get their happy ending. I promise!**

**Btw, it was Jade! Did you guess right? Do you think Mitchie's right or still just freaking out? Do you think she should have moved out? What will happen now? What do you want to happen now?**


	23. Chapter 23

"**More than the falling rain, more than the sun shines upon your lovely face -It's more than a love song and love found a way to come to me" More Than a Love Song -Augustana **

The Undeveloped Story

Epilogue

"No, Hayley is opening a show with Nate right now….Yes, I will be helping with her new album…I have already written up a couple songs that will be featured, and actually, she is already playing _Wise Girl_ which is one of my songs." You say on the phone, trying to keep your voice interested but there are too many distractions everywhere else.

"That song recently made the Top 40 radio stations, correct?" The man asks like if he doesn't know. You smile, a little proud but you don't let it show in your voice.

"Yes sir. I have already written about twenty songs for her to pick and sort through on Friday." You inform him, just as you feel someone's fingers tickle your stomach. You swat at the hand but smile, closing your eyes when a pair of lips press into your neck. You hardly even hear the man say her goodbye and you cough slightly as you are pulled closer to someone's body. "Thank you. Have a good day." You say, a laugh in your throat. As soon as you hang up the phone, you push the person's hard chest lightly. "Ass." You chuckle as he pouts.

"You love me." He says, shifting his arm behind your head so that you are more comfortable. You shake your head and look up to the sky, putting your hand on his chest tenderly.

"I do." You whisper, leaning forward to bite his earlobe. You laugh when a piece of grass gets on your lips, but he nuzzles your touch. You don't remember who pulled who down to lie on the grass, but you two have been there for hours. When you got a phone call, you did not want to get out of the comfortable spot of being in his arms.

You hum softly, hugging him and every so often looking at your intertwined hands. "So who called?" he asks softly, his voice gentle as he runs his fingers up and down your arms.

You roll your eyes. "Um…my boss I guess? He's some bigwig that works with Hayley's manager or some shit. He wants me to write her a bunch of songs, and he wants to make sure that they get into the top 40 like the others. I have like twenty songs or so, but…I mean, I have my own personal songs, but I'm not sure I want some pop-star singing them." You say, crinkling your nose playfully. He chuckles and brings the hand of the arm under your head to your hair. He plays with the brown-red strands before kissing your cheek.

"You should play me some later, Miss Official Song Writer." He whispers and you lift your upper body to face him. He brushes your hair out of your eyes. "But we're going to the show tonight right? Because Nate is super excited to be playing the House of Blues or something to that effect." He says, breaking out into laughter. You snort.

"He's excited about something else - that's for sure." You joke mockingly. "Hayley and him kinda scare me with how intense they are about each other." You remark, yawning slightly before falling down into his arms again. The sky is so blue right now that it makes you sleepy. Besides you, he smiles and kisses the top of your head.

"Well, we used to scare a lot of people with how intense we were." Shane whispers. You open your mouth to argue, but you stop yourself.

He's right after all.

--

"_So, how does this work, huh?" Shane asks, his voice still angry. You close your eyes and sigh. "No, I mean it, Mitchie. We're seriously having fucking date nights. I want to be with you every day. I want to hold you at night. Why the fuck…I don't understand this." He argues, throwing his jacket harshly on his couch. You press your lips together, tears coming to your eyes._

"_Shane…" you trail off, your voice breaking. He sighs and you see his back muscles tense at your voice. "Look, I'm sorry. It isn't about you. It isn't…I feel so strongly for you baby, but I'm…just give me a chance to figure things out." You basically plead. He gives you a small glare but his eyes soften. _

"_I just want you to know I would do anything for you." His voice is completely sincere and it makes you shiver. "I will fight for you Mitchie." _

_The intensity he has makes you close your eyes again. "Why are you making this so hard? We can start over. It's the mature thing to do." You argue, crossing your arms and meeting his eye again. He sucks in his breath angrily and walks over to your quickly, grabbing your arm roughly like he did the last time you were at him apartment. His lips are harsh and almost violent as he struggles to keep you near him."Shane!" you break the kiss, your lips already swollen._

_When you look at him again, he has tears in his eyes._

_And it breaks your heart._

--

"Eh, we were young. I was a mess. You were a mess." You shrug and he scoffs mockingly.

"I was not a mess!" he argues, almost sitting eyebrows shoot up and you just stare at him, before he sighs and rolls his eyes. "So, I was a bit insecure. Can you blame me? Everyone I knew was leaving me or doing something. I thought I was gonna lose you too." He admits with a frown. You bite your lower lip, your eyebrows lowering softly. You lift your body up to kiss his lips tenderly.

"You weren't gonna lose me. You didn't lose me." You remind him before kissing him again. He breathes out gently, warming your skin as he pulls you on top of him. The kiss is everything you have ever wanted a kiss to be. You were both so young when you first got together, but now, it's so different. His lips are soft and his hands warm your skin. "So…" you break the kiss as his hand goes under the hem of your shirt. "You realize the paparazzi are probably taking picture after picture of us to show the tweens? We probably shouldn't do this in a park." You say with a laugh in your voice. He smirks.

"Or…" he trails off as he sits up to kiss you deeply. You moan in his mouth as your legs part and your thighs press against his. Your chests press together as he bites and sucks on your bottom lip. "We can give them a hell of a show." His eyes look mischievous and the smile is huge on his face, his teeth so white. He isn't the beautiful mess he was two years ago; now, he is so much more.

You giggle and move your body up so that you're a little taller than him. He brings his head up to catch your lips again. You shiver against his touch as he rubs your arms and then grabs your waist so that he can pull you backwards safely. You put your hands out, stopping your fall as your thighs press against his thin hips. His hands inch higher so that his fingers are just under your breasts as you bring your own fingers into his long hair. The curly locks feel amazing.

He's amazing.

"Hey, lovebirds?" you gasp loudly as a girl basically plops down next to your bodies. Shane blinks and looks to his left before rolling his eyes and connecting your lips again. You burst out laughing as he pulls you back down so you are totally on top of him. "Seriously?" the girl says incredulously. "I will buy a water bottle just to pour cold water on you two horny kids. Try me." You break the kiss, still on completely on top of Shane to send your friend a playful girl.

"Whatever, Mandy. Me and Shane would totally giving the damn photographers a show." You say, tilting your head. Shane laughs before kissing your neck. You push him away, sitting up so that you are straddling him. Mandy rolls her eyes and looks at you guys pointedly.

"You know - I never understand why those kids online and in the magazines believe all you two do is have sex." She says mockingly. Snorting, you climb off Shane. You shoot him a smile when he groans and immediately grabs your hand so he can pull you back into his arms. "And you know no paps are actually here right? If you're not around Nate or Hayley, 'Smitchie' doesn't really matter. You just aren't that hot a commodity." She mocks and Shane rolls his eyes. You laugh. You knew that no one would be taking your picture, but it seems like every time they do, you two are kissing. You and Shane have a theory they only show up when you are in an embrace. "Well, kids, are you ready to go to the show? Because Gabe is freaking out." She tells you, leaning backwards so that she is practically lying down. She squints her eyes as she looks at the sky, shielding herself with her hand from the sun. "Pretty day out. No wonder you two decided to be exhibitionists out here." She teases.

"Ha ha." Shane says drily, before rolling his eyes.

--

"_What do you want from me, Mitchie? Huh? Because Goddamn it, you're the one who wanted to have sex! You're the one who said that you were ready. Why the hell am I getting punished now?" he yells, the tears very obvious now. You breathe in softly and shake your head sadly. Wrapping your arms around your body, you blink out your own tears._

"_I'm sorry." You whisper._

_Shane gulps. "I thought I could do this. I thought we could have date nights and be a little happy couple, but I was wrong. A week without you and I'm going crazy. I can't do it. I don't know how to do it anymore. I have, like, no one." He finishes, closing his eyes and sinking onto a couch. You swallow hard as he threads his fingers into his curly hair. "Without you, I don't know who I am." He whispers._

"_And doesn't that scare the shit out of you, because damn it Shane, it scares me!" you scream at him. You curse yourself under your breath. You don't want to fight anymore. If you would have known you moving out would make him so sad and angry, you maybe would not have done it. He doesn't deserve that, but it scares you. All you want to do is find yourself so that he can have you - all of you - but…_

_It's so confusing and hard and scary - so fucking scary._

"_Of course it does! Are you insane? Before you got here, I was just sleeping with Jade and that's it. I didn't depend on anyone, because I made it all by myself. But then you came along… And you promised that you would be here for me. That you were stable and that you loved me. But now I don't know." His voice is so broken, so lost._

_--_

"You know when I said come pick us up, I meant in like two hours." You tell Mandy as you lay down in between her and Shane. He puts your arm around the back of your head again, letting you snuggle against him as you talk to your best friend. She rolls her eyes.

"Dude, I needed to leave that apartment. Gabe has been going crazy all night long." She says with an eye roll, but the smile is still present on her face. "Which, by the way, thanks for getting him to be the opening act for your little brother. It means a lot Shane." She hits Shane's arm playfully and he just nods.

"Mhmm." He mutters, looking up at the sky again.

"Gabe is amazing. I don't know why he's nervous." You frown and Mandy shrugs. The two of your talk about his band and the fact they are playing at a pretty big venue and that they are all so nervous. About twenty minutes later, Shane sits up, taking a phone call from Nate. You rub his back as he speaks to his brother, but pay attention to Mandy.

You are glad the two of you stayed friends.

You know for a while a couple years ago you didn't know up from down, right from wrong. Shane and Mandy both seemed to suffer from the fact that you couldn't make up your mind. But it seemed like when you finally did make up your mind to be better, to do well, it just hurt them more. "Hey, Mandy - do you mind if we stop by the apartment first? I need to pick some things up for Nate apparently." Shane rolls his eyes, looking towards Mandy.

She sighs dramatically. "Uh, sure. Actually, I think I'm gonna go back to hang with Gabe. Can you guys drive yourselves to the show? I feel like he needs me right now."

--

"_I don't know how to fix this." You admit to Shane. He scoffs, leaning into the couch's cushions. He looks like he's about to break, and you honestly do not know what to do. Usually, at this point, you probably would have ran by now. You don't do well with other people's emotions, especially when they are sad. But you refuse to run anymore._

_But you don't know what to do._

"_Move back in." Shane says clearly. He stands up, grabbing your arms so you would look straight into his eyes. "We don't have to have sex or whatever, if that's what you're worried about. Just be my -"_

_You cut him off. "Your wife? Because hon, that's basically what we're doing. Playing house, and I'm failing at it. My grades are tanking and I cannot fail. If I fail, I lose my scholarship so that means no California. That means no Mitchie in California. Do you get that? I can't make my life about you right now. As horrible as that sounds, I really just need to find myself, because if I don't, then I'll never be anyone. I'll forever be the girl who can't keep a job or stay in school or have a healthy relationship. Jesus, Shane, this isn't even about the fact we had sex. This is about the fact that I'm terrified and I don't know how to change that. I have never been in this kind of relationship -" _

"_You told me you could be stable!"_

"_Well, I lied!" Shane's eyes wide and he takes a step back. You choke back a sob. "I didn't know what I was getting into. Okay? I was confused and quite frankly, I still am. So you can either accept the fact that I'm not perfect and try to fix this relationship by building a stronger foundation, or you could bitch about the fact you don't like change all day long." You say, tears running down your face. He looks like he's not even breathing. You're pretty sure you broke his heart. You take a deep breath. "Shane, I do love you, but we need to be mature about this if we're gonna continue this." You say gently, reaching for his hand._

_He jerks from you touch. "Well then, maybe we shouldn't continue this." He snaps coldly._

_You blink. "What?" you ask in a small voice._

"_Get the hell out of my apartment. I don't want you here anymore - not now or ever."_

_--_

"So hot pink high heels or black pumps?" you call out, holding a shoe from both pairs in your hands indecisively.

"Oh, my God. It depends on what color is your dress!" Shane mocks, coming into your room and diving on to your bed. You give him a glare. "Oh, sorry. Was that to Mandy?" he says with a smile, laughing somewhat. "She went back to her apartment to chill with Gabe. He is still freaking out. I remember my first big show." He muses softly. "I was a mess like him, but I played video games to calm myself down." He says, moving him body up so his head is on the pillow.

You smile at him, humoring him for a second before raising the shoes again. "That's swell, love, but I don't know what to wear and you just became my awesomely gay best friend - so tell me." Shane frowns, before clicking his tongue and rolling his eyes. He sighs dramatically, jumping off the bed to grab your arm.

You gasp loudly when he twirls you around unexpectedly, and you hit his chest but he ignores you. His hand goes down your flowy black and pink dress until it reaches the hem, and he looks at the shoes before looking back at the dress. "You should wear the pink. The black is too much black, and the pink gives it life. Plus, they are higher and that means I don't have to keep bending down every two seconds." You are practically dying of laughter when he finishes. The first two sentences he spoke were said in a very flamboyant fashion until he rolled his eyes and continued normally. "I hate you." he says bitterly, going back to the bed.

You just continue laughing before slipping on the pink heels. You twirl again for him and he smiles at you, his eyes softening. "Do you like it?" you ask, smiling happily.

"Come here." He mouths with a grin on his face. You tilt your head like you are thinking about his request before going over to him, pretending to be timid. He laughs and grabs your hand gently, pulling you over to him. You sit down next to him and lean down to kiss him squarely on his lips. You squeal when he flips you over, never breaking the kiss, and settles on top of you, pushing your dress up. His warm hands make you shiver as they trail up your thighs and you moan lightly. He groans and thrusts his lower body hard against yours, making you squeal again in his mouth. His hands find your hips and squeeze them tightly before separating from you.

His lips are everywhere at once and you lean into his touch. "Baby, we're gonna mess up our clothes and it will be bad. We need to be there for Nate." You protest unenthusiastically as he continues to do his ministrations.

He smirks at you and kisses your lips again. "So?" he whispers huskily, before pulling down your dress's strap and kissing your bare shoulder.

--

_Your eyes widen. "You're…b-breaking up with me?" you stutter, your mouth parting slightly._

_His eyes are dark and angry, but also emotional and hurt. "Get out." He repeats in a low, dangerous voice. You scoff and shake your head, tears rushing harder now. You just stare at him incredulously, and he laughs mirthlessly. "Do you know how I got these bruises, Mitchie? Do you know who I got in a fight with? Do you know whose ass I literally kicked for you?" he screams, grabbing your arm._

_You rip away from his touch. "No! Because you refuse to tell me!" you yell back, crossing your arms over your chest._

_He laughs mirthlessly again, running his hands through his curly hair. "You know he was still following you - Mark." He adds when you lower your eyebrows slightly. "Mark. Did you know he was still following you? Yes, you did, because apparently you saw him right before you ran into Nate. But did I hear it from you? No. I heard it from my brother who just happened to say it to me. Do you know how that made me feel? Do you know how fucking dangerous that is?" he sounds livid and you take a step back._

_You shrug. "I didn't…I didn't think it was him; I just…whatever." You shake your head before gasping sharply. "Wait! You got into a fight with Mark? Why?" you voice doesn't sound like it belongs to you. You feel dizzy and like you're about to faint. He glares at you so darkly that it makes you shiver._

"_Yeah, why would I get in a fight with someone who has been stalking my girlfriend who I love? Why would I get in a fight with someone who is obviously a threat to you? You don't even realize how much I care for you. I would protect you with my life, but I have a feeling you wouldn't even care if I died." He spits put. _

_Your mouth falls open and you take another step back. Scoffing, you grab your coat roughly, sending him a glare before going towards the door. Turning back around at the last second, you face him again. "Actually, asshole, I think about you every second of the day. I always wonder how you are doing and I'm glad that we found out it was Jade stealing your money because I finally stopped worrying about it. I was doing this for us. I thought if we could take a step back we would last - because I had this apparently stupid notion that we would crash and burn if we kept going a hundred miles an hour and that if we slowed down, we could be something more one day. Get married or have a life together, but apparently I was wrong. So I'll leave now. I sincerely hope we never meet at a damn coffee shop again." You say bitterly, before walking out his door._

_--_

"We can't do this, Shane." You laugh, hitting his chest. You straighten out your dress and go to your mirror to fix your hair. He groans and pouts at you, but gets up anyways. He circles his arms around your waist and rests his chin on your shoulder, looking at the mirror as well. You lean into his touch and close your eyes. "I love you." you mutter tenderly and he takes a deep breath into your neck, taking in your perfume.

"Well, I'm glad." He says in the same tone as you. "I happen to love you too." He twirls you around gently to kiss you briefly. He looks you straight in your eyes. "I'm glad you moved back in with me." He traces the side of your face with his index finger and you smile at him. "Hopefully, this time we don't - what is it you said - 'crash and burn'?" There's a hint of a smile on his face and you roll your eyes.

"That was a bad chapter in our story. In the past." You wave it off, grabbing his hand. "Come on! We have a show to go to." His thumb rubs your palm and he takes the lead, going in front of you. Walking happily to the car, you two prattle about mindless things. Shane opens the door for you, slapping your backside swiftly before sending you a smirk. "Hey! Jerk." You pout but he ignores you.

When he gets into the driver's seat, he gives you a look. "Do you think we're gonna crash and burn this time?" he asks, suddenly a little serious. His eyes look a little hurt.

You shake your head, frowning a bit. "We didn't end up crashing and burning last time. Why would we this time?" you counter, shrugging. "We have different priorities now, but we have the same hearts. I loved you back then a lot, and I think I love you more now because of what we went through. We literally tore each apart, and yet we fixed it. It just proves how awesome we really are." You end with a smile, squeezing your interlaced hands.

He nods but stays silent for a while. "I never want to lose you." he whispers, bringing your hand to his lips. He kisses you softly and you lean in to kiss his shoulder.

"You'll never lose me."

--

"_Is Mitchie here?" _

_Your eyes shot open and you almost fell off the bed when you hear his voice. Your heart starts beating wildly and you stay sitting up, wondering for a second if you just imagined his voice. Until, you hear Mandy respond. "Why would I tell you?" she says snidely. You hear a sigh and then another more feminine one. "Sorry, I didn't mean that. I know it must suck for you too." Mandy says a little quieter._

"_How is she?" he asks, obviously shuffling. You sit up more on your bed and your breath becomes labored. Your eyes fill with tears and you realize how much you have missed his voice in the past two weeks._

"_A mess." Mandy says bluntly. "She cries every night and barely sleeps, but she's doing better in school. It's all she does nowadays. Studying. And working. She cries, works and does homework. Are you happy?" She says and you wince. _

_There is silence for a while. Until - "No." _

_You close your eyes and lean against the wall; he sounds as broken as you feel. "I don't know what you want me to do." Mandy whispers. _

"_Let me see her." He says back. You hear Mandy sigh and move, and you internally freak out. You don't know what to do or how to face him or what to say. You don't want to fight and you don't want to cry anymore. You don't even know why but you slam your body down so you are lying down and lift the covers up a little higher to pretend you are sleeping. You hear a knock before the door opens lightly. _

_You can feel the tears running down you face as you tightly close your eyes. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you feel his eyes on you. Suddenly, you hear him move, and you heart goes out of control - not knowing if he's walking away or towards you. You gasp a sob when you feel his hand on your shoulder and you lean into your pillow. His touch sends waves of something to travel up and down your body, and he gently brings his hand to your cheek to wipe away a couple tears. His fingers are shaky as they caress your delicate skin, and you cannot help but start sobbing harder. _

_You gasp and finally open your eyes when you feel his hot mouth on yours. You can feel tears on his face as he presses against you and you bring your arms around his upper body. The pressure he exerts on your chest as he lays down on top of you is enough to make you start gasping for air, but the fact that he is finally close to you again make your skin want to explode. "I'm sorry." He says so softly you barely hear him. He presses his forehead against yours._

_You look up and see his soft, sad brown eyes, and your heart breaks. "Me too." You whisper._

_--_

The place is packed to the brim with fans dying to see the new lovers - Nate and Hayley - sing. Everyone wants to hear this one song that they wrote together and recorded together, but still have not played live. "This is ridiculous." Shane laughs as you and him dodge fans, photographers and everyone else. His hand is protectively holding yours as you smile at the people who randomly recognize you. "Jeeze. There are about ten billion people out there." He says as enters the VIP section. You hear a laugh as you two walk through the door, and you see the back of Nate's head going to his dressing room.

You walk into the room, humming softly under your breath. Reaching Nate, you ruffle his hair and he groans, glaring at you. "Hey! I just did my hair." He says, with a sigh. You giggle and moan appreciatively when Shane grips your shoulders tightly, slightly giving you a massage. He kisses the back of your head before giving Nate a pat on his back. "Hey man." The younger boy says, nodding over to him.

You smile at Nate. "You excited? Where's Hayley?" you ask, looking around.

"Kinda. And in her dressing room. I think we're gonna sing the song together today, but I don't know if I want it to be all over YouTube and everything just yet. I don't know yet. We'll figure it out." He says, shrugging his shoulders. Suddenly, someone appears to tell Nate that there is a radio station to interview him in the back room. He rolls his eyes before facing you two. He gives you both a big smile before reaching out and hugging you. "Thanks for coming, best friend." He whispers in your ear. You smile at him and ruffle his hair again, giggling when he sighs. Shane just laughs and kisses your cheek, pulling you to the couch.

He picks up the guitar that is besides it and lays it next to him, as he pulls you onto his lap. You breathe in his smell before tracing your fingers on the guitar. "Want me to play you a song?" you say and Shane's face lights up.

"Of course." He says with a gentle smile. You move off his lap and grab the guitar.

Shakily, you breathe out and look up sheepishly. "Okay, so I wrote it about us? Remember that Anberlin song you sang me? _The Undeveloped Story?_ Well, I wrote something like that. Don't judge me too much." You finish with a laugh as you start strumming softly on the strings. He smiles and kisses your lips before turning his body to look at you face to face. You take a deep breath and start. "_I just want to be, everything you need.__Go and get lost in some sort of serenity. I just want your touch, the kind I miss so much__. __And I miss your lips, the way we used to kiss."_ You sing before humming softly.

"_I don't need a happy ever after__. __I just need a happy right now__and it seems that the thing__I forgot to factor is our instability, but it filters into the undeveloped story__of you and me.__We're just a car crash on a Sunday afternoon__, __running in circles and always happening too soon__, __but when I see you smile makes me stay a while__ - __I'm done running from my fears.__ I don't need a happy ever after__. __I just need a happy right now__and it seems that the thing__I forgot to factor is our instability, but it filters into the undeveloped story__of you and me."_ You look into his eyes, forgetting the words for a second but you smile and get confidence again. "_And I can hear your heartbeat breaking through the wind. It's like I can read your mind. Makes me understand_ - _I don't need a happy ever after__. __I just need a happy right now__and it seems that the thing__I forgot to factor is our instability, but it filters into the undeveloped story__of you and me"._

"_I just wish with each kiss I could convey, the way I feel, so real - Our undeveloped story."_

--

"_Hey, can we talk for a little bit?" You look up, startled. Your mouth goes into a thin line and you raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms across your chest. He sighs. "Look. Mitchie. I'm tired of it, okay. I met this new girl and she's amazing and I think I'm falling for her. I'm tired of fighting with you and hating each other. I think we can be grown ups again and just move on. So can we just talk?"_

_You take a deep sigh and look away. "I don't want to keep fighting either." You admit, shuffling your feet. He gulps and runs a hand through his hair self-consciously. "I'm sorry." You whisper, the words coming out before you can stop them. He sighs and goes around your desk to grab your hand. He pulls you up softly and leads you to a backroom. "I can't just leave my post. You know how mean boss lady gets." You tell him with a frown._

_He laughs. "But I'm head honcho remember?" he says with a small smile. You sigh and continue following him. When you get to the room, you notice three big bags on the table. "I got Chinese food." he shrugs his shoulders. "Figured we could talk about all this fuckery over some Lo Mein." He says sarcastically, tilting his head._

_You smile and sit down. "Okay."_

"_I'm sorry, too Mitchie. I never meant to call you names or hurt you or try to break you guys apar- Actually, I did mean those things. When I did them, I thought I was right and you were wrong. It took me a while to realize I was fighting a war where I was the enemy. You and Shane belong together, and those two weeks where you guys didn't talk…I never seen him as sad as I did those weeks. He loves you, and I could tell by the redness in your eyes everyday you tried to hide, that you missed him with all your heart too. You are a good worker too, Mitchie. You have stepped up and done well…and well, I don't really think you should be behind a desk being a secretary, but we'll talk about that later, I guess." He says, sitting down._

_You nod as you take out a carton of food from the bag. "I'm tired of fighting." You repeat. "Like it's so fucking tiring, and I know we could be different. Like, we used to be best friends and suddenly there was this huge drama and personally - I'm over it. So if you're willing to, can please just start over? I don't want to fight anymore." You say, looking at the table. _

"_Sure." He breathes out. "It is too cliché to introduce myself again." He taunts, a smile on his face._

"_No." You answer with a laugh. "My name is Mitchie Torres."_

"_Nate Grey. Pleased to re-meet you."_

_--_

"That was beautiful." He whispers and you smile timidly.

"Yeah?" you say, a light blush on your face. He laughs and nods, taking the guitar away and placing it on the floor. He brings you back to his lap and kisses you deeply. "Good." You mutter breathily when you separate. Your eyes are glued to his as he runs his hands through your hair. "I love you with all my heart." You tell him again.

It seems sometimes like that's all you ever say, but you swear every time you say it, it feels like the first time. But it's the truth. You have never loved him or any man more in your life. He is _it_ for you. It's obvious by the way you speak of him, the way you look at him, the way you act with him. Even your mother noticed. Last year, she came up for Christmas and you could tell she started the holidays wanting to convince you to come back home - again - but she got it after a while. One night, she just stared at the both of you. _"He loves you."_ she told you very softly, and you nodded. _"I love him too."_

And that was it. She never tried to set you up with James or try to separate you again. Instead, she tried warming up to Shane, which made you way happier and less stressed. _"Thank you, Mom."_ You told her before she left. You know she only wants the best for you, and you think she got after a while that Shane is the best for you.

The only one for you.

"The show's about to start guys. Mandy's waiting for you in the VIP booths." Nate sticks his head in. Both you and Shane jump, looking at Nate with wide eyes. The younger boy just laughs. "You two creep me out." He says, shaking his head and walking out the door. You smile and get off Shane. You walk hand in hand to your place. You hug Mandy when you see her, and you scream loudly for Gabe and his band.

When Hayley comes out, she waves at you discreetly. She is a sweet girl - a good girl for Nate. She changed him completely, calmed him down and gave him a new perceptive in life. Her brown hair is filled with blonde streaks and she is a little country, a little rock 'n roll. When she approached you to write her a song, you didn't know what to tell her. Apparently Nate told her and showed her a couple of your writings from so long ago.

"Hey guys! My name is Hayley and I'm here to pump you guys up. Nate Grey is back stage and he cannot wait to come out here and sing his heart for you guys!" she says to the screaming crowd. "This next song is written by one of my friends and she's such an amazing girl. I hope she realizes how much I appreciate her!" she says before smiling over to you and the familiar chords of the song you wrote starts playing.

You smile, tears coming to your eyes. Shane nuzzles your neck and squeezes your hand. "_A wise girl doesn't let her man slip away…"_ Hayley sings.

--

"_I cannot let you go." Shane whispers against your lips, brushing away your tears. _

_You laugh mirthlessly, choking on a sob. You don't answer him. Rather, you throw your arms around him and pull him close. Thinking about it, you would think it would be easier to let him go and just be angry, but the second he spoke those words, you knew you forgave him and you can only hope he forgives you. You start kissing his tearstained cheeks, mouth, nose - anywhere you can touch and he holds you tight against him._

"_I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry, and I have missed you so much and I'll do this okay? I'll take a step back and I'll do what you want me to. I just don't want to lose you. I don't ever want to lose you." he practically begs and you silence him with a deep kiss._

"_You're not gonna lose me, and you shouldn't be sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been so selfish and that I ruined everything. I'm to blame and I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you. I want to build a relationship with you. I don't want us to just go all fast and get nowhere. I want everything with you Shane Grey. I want the world with you."_

_He chuckles, choking a sigh. "God, you have no idea how much I love that you said that because I want it all with you too."_

**The End.**

**I hope you liked **_**The Undeveloped Story **_**and I hope all your questions have been answered. Even though I have only been writing it for a couple months, it did mean a lot to me. I hope this chapter was everything that you wanted. It definitely meant a big deal to me.**

**Thank you so very much to every single person who has ever reviewed this story, especially the loyal reviewers whose names I always saw. Thank you to the reviews that made me cry and that put me in such high esteem. I didn't deserve it, but thank you. thank you for every good review and for every sweet thing you have ever said to me.**

**Thank you to Sabrina, who is my sometimes beta and always best friend. She's amazing (and she just finished her own story over at JBFA called the Feel Good Drag. This is the link (without spaces) ****jonas brothers fanfiction archive****. com/ ****view **** ? sid=130 02&chapter=1). Thank you Sabs.**

**Thank you to Christina, who wrote the lyrics of **_**The Undeveloped Story**_** (the song Mitchie sings)****and who I love very much. Please look at her youtube videos at youtube. com/watch ?v=qp7oY RWZ 6Xo (no spaces!). She is such a great girl and I'm glad I have met her. So, if you like the lyrics send her a shout out.**

**To everyone else, thank you. And I have posted my new story. It is called **_**A Purple Hat, Paper and Pearls**_**and can be found at****fanfiction. net/s/5824 213/1/ (Without the spaces!) **

**Thank you, once again.**

**I love you.**

**Sandra.**

**The End.**


	24. Chapter 24

Hello guys :D I'm back again to tell you that I uploaded a new story. It is called Back At Your Door. Please read and review.

Thank you,

Sandy


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